Shira

by Tressie Lockwood

  Tonight she had made lasagna with double the usual amount of meat she put in. She dished two plates up and prepared to warm the food a bit more in the microwave when the phone rang. Shira set the plates down and answered the extension hanging on the kitchen wall. “Hello?”

  “Hello?” a man said. The timbre of his voice was deep and sexy, very similar to Max’s. In fact if she didn’t know he sat waiting in the dining room, she would have thought it was him on the phone.

  “Is this Max’s brother?” she asked.

  Instead of answering, she heard the man speaking to someone in the background. “Baby, there’s a woman at Max’s house.”

  “What the hell?” a woman responded. “A woman? Who is it?”

  Shira tapped her foot waiting for the exclamations and shock to settle. Apparently, Max didn’t entertain much.

  “Give me the phone,” the woman said, and she came on the line. “Hello? Who is this?”

  Shira had been thinking the woman sounded familiar. Now she realized who it was. “Whisper, is that you? This is Shira—from school. You probably don’t remember me.”

  “Shira!” The excitement in Whisper’s tone warmed her. “Hey, girl. I can’t believe you’re at Max’s? How did you two meet, and how did you convince his grumpy ass to let you come over?”

  Shira suppressed a laugh, but then she sobered and told her old schoolmate how she’d met Max. She left out the part about needing to escape from Sam. That wasn’t the kind of thing she wanted to share over the phone, and Max might be listening. For some reason, she didn’t want him to know how stupid she was to let a man hurt her for so long. She hadn’t intended it to go on, and she couldn’t explain how she had lost herself in the process. The one thing she knew was that when the fear set in, that was it. He’d had control.

  “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry I’m not there to see you,” Whisper said. She sounded happy with her life, and Shira was jealous, but she was glad Whisper had found someone special and was living. “Can I ask you a favor, though?”

  Shira raised her brows. What favor could she do for Whisper? She had nothing. “Um, if I can, sure.”

  “I’m going to be out here in Maine with my boyfriend’s family. He’s Max’s brother by the way. We’ll be here for at least another month. Can you look after Max while I’m gone? He’s had a tough time, and I feel like if he let you in, you must be something special. You might be the one to make him realize his life isn’t over. Can you do that for me?”

  Alarm rose in Shira. She hadn’t planned to stay, and looking out for Max wasn’t in the program. What could she offer a man like him? He had a broken heart. She couldn’t fix a thing, and she was most definitely not special. “I…”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on you,” Whisper said. “Just please think about it, and if it progresses, great. If not, it wasn’t meant to be.”

  “Progresses? Meant to be?” Looking out for him had nothing to do with being meant for him. Shira’s hands shook. She hated the hope that sprung up inside of her that a miracle would happen and she’d be able to stick around rather than leave. That was unrealistic. If she was going to learn to be strong again, she had to keep her head out of the clouds. She took in a deep breath and steeled herself. “I will try to cheer him up while I’m here. That’s all I can do.”

  “Thanks, girl.”

  Shira hesitated and then lowered her voice. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Is he okay to work for? I mean, he seems…I don’t know. I’ve had some bad experiences in the past with men, and I don’t want to trust my judge of character.”

  Whisper was quiet for a moment. “He’s a great guy. You don’t have to worry about Max. He’ll take care of you. He might seem rough around the edges and like he has no ambition.” She laughed at this. “But he really is brilliant. He has a, um, let’s say a wild side, but deep down, he’s a pussy cat. He’ll never hurt you.”

  “Is he suicidal?”

  “Oh, nothing like that,” Whisper assured her. “Their kind has too much pride.”

  Shira pondered what their kind meant, but didn’t ask. Whisper’s words encouraged her somewhat. “Okay, thanks. Well I should let you speak to him. Hold on.”

  Shira called Max into the kitchen for the phone and went to heating their food. She didn’t mean to listen to the phone conversation, but she couldn’t help it.

  “Any particular reason you didn’t call my cell?” he asked. Shira rolled her eyes. So his rudeness wasn’t reserved for strangers. “Oh, yeah, no one called me, so I guess I forgot to charge it.”

  Shira smothered a laugh. She could imagine Whisper putting him in his place, but she’d also heard the affection in her friend’s voice. Whisper obviously loved him like a brother. She wondered how Max felt about Whisper. For some reason a little jealousy rose. Whisper had been plumper with bigger boobs and a good size butt in school. Guys had always been exclaiming over it. Whisper would be the kind of woman he went for.

  Stop it, Shira! Damn it, it doesn’t matter what he goes for. You’re leaving. The best you can do is try to cheer him up like Whisper asked. That’s all. So suck it up!

  She finished heating their lasagna and went to set the plates on the table. With it, she’d made garlic bread and a pitcher of sweet tea. When all was in readiness, she sat down at the table to wait for Max.

  At last, he walked into the dining room to take his seat. She’d piled his plate high with food but would heat him more if he wanted it. “I hope you like it,” she said. The one thing Shira could be confident about was that she was a decent cook. Not spectacular, but no one would go hungry because of her.

  He eyed her plate. She’d made sure to put a decent amount on it so he wouldn’t complain, and he nodded. “Tastes good. Thanks.”

  The compliment was unexpected if plain in its delivery. She appreciated it all the more. Max wasn’t just flattering her. “I’m glad you like it.” She considered making conversation. One thing that seemed to help people who were feeling down was talking about what was bugging them. Not that she planned on exploring her own feelings. “So, I was cleaning up in your room, and I came across a picture.”

  Okay, great way to start a conversation, Shira. You’re an idiot.

  Max grunted.

  “The woman in the picture is beautiful. Was she your wife?”

  He gave her a hard look, which seemed to say drop it.

  “I know how hard it is when the relationship with the person you love so much doesn’t work out. It can be tough to walk away and let them go.” She drifted off feeling lame. Was he even listening? Max sat there tucking into the food with gusto. He put away the huge slice of garlic bread in a couple bites and drained half his glass of tea at a shot.

  When he set the glass down, he eyed her. “Let’s get this straight just to settle your curious mind,” he began. Shira shifted in her chair. “Sarah was my mate, soon to be my wife. She did not leave me. She died.”

  And the conversation went to hell. Shira couldn’t make herself respond. She hadn’t made him feel better. She had dredged up painful memories and come off to Max as if she was just being nosy.

  “Oh.” Rather than say I’m sorry, which she was, she kept quiet. Saying that had pissed him off before, and if she hadn’t set him off just now, she wanted to avoid it. As she pushed her food around on her plate, the nature of her job occurred to her. Did housekeepers sit down to dinner with their employers? Probably not. Embarrassment took her appetite. She jumped to her feet. “I should wash the pots.”

  “Sit down, Shira. You’re not done.”

  Her hands fluttered above her dish, and she curled her fingers into her palms to keep them still. “I shouldn’t be in here eating with you. I know housekeepers don’t do that.”

  “We’re not keeping to tradition.”

  Damn, did he have to be so deadpan about everything? Irritation rose in her. “Are you going to spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for
yourself? Or are you going to live, because I doubt Sarah would like it.”

  Max narrowed his eyes at her. One minute he was on the other side of the table. The next he stood in front of her, and she hadn’t even seen him move. “Don’t pretend to know what Sarah would have wanted. In fact, don’t mention her at all.”

  To her disgust, Shira cowered. She threw up an arm to block the blow that had always followed harsh words. Stumbling backward, she bumped her chair and knocked it over. Max’s hand shot out to steady her, but he must not have calculated the strength needed. His pull catapulted her to his chest and knocked all the wind from her lungs. She cried out.

  Both his hands were on her waist, and she was sealed to him, head down and too afraid to look him in the eye to see the rage he must be feeling. When he spoke though, she was surprised by the gentleness in his tone. “I didn’t mean… I wouldn’t hit you.”

  She shook, hating her weakness. This wasn’t the way to start her life over. Her hands were trapped against his chest, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. They were so close, he had to feel how she trembled. He must think she was pathetic.

  “Look at me.”

  Shira closed her eyes and pressed her lips together.

  “Shira.” His whisper sent chills down her spine, but not from fear. Her fingers spasmed where they lay against the hardness of his muscle and the warmth from his being. He clenched her waist a little tighter. “Look at me, Shira.”

  She took her time raising her head and started when her gaze met his. The deep concern she saw in his brought tears to her eyes. To her shame, they ran down her cheeks, and he made a sound in his throat before his lips covered hers. At first, Shira didn’t know what to do, but then the desire she’d been feeling for him from the first time she met him rose inside her. She parted her lips to take the kiss further. He tasted so good, and his lips were soft for a man of his build. She moaned when he pushed his tongue into her mouth, but in the next instant, Max put her away from him.

  His big chest rose and fell, and his breathing sounded harsh to her ears. Shira panted just as much, and she put fingers to her tingling lips. What had she been thinking going that far with the kiss? He must think she was a whore and deserved whatever treatment Sam had dealt her.

  “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I couldn’t think of a better way to comfort you. I made the wrong choice.”

  Shira frowned. “It was good. You don’t have to snatch it back!”

  A feather could have blown her over when Max gave a sharp bark of laughter. In a roundabout, crazy way, she had done what she set out to do.

  Chapter Four

  Shira tossed and turned in bed. She’d been unable to sleep since eleven. Max had left the house soon after their kiss, and he hadn’t come back before she turned in for the night. Maybe she was worried about him, or it could be she wasn’t used to this much country. Even in Maryland, she’d lived with Sam in the suburbs. Not far from their house had been a main thoroughfare, and one could hear traffic in the distance all hours of the night. In this house, one heard nothing except crickets. Not that she didn’t like the peace. In Max’s house, she had a sense of being protected, like she was cocooned from the rest of the world and specifically the danger that Sam represented.

  Giving up on resting for the time being, she rose and went out to the kitchen. She didn’t want to disturb the tranquility of the night, so she didn’t turn on a light. The windows, barren of shades or curtains, let in plenty of moonlight, so she saw fine. A scratching toward the front of the house caught her attention, and she went to investigate. As she approached the front door, she heard it, the mewling of a cat. Shira peered out and gasped. The leopard sat on the front porch facing the house and looking right at her.

  “What the hell?” Didn’t anyone report to animal control around here? Then she recalled how the beast had saved her life. She owed him. The least she could do was feed him if he was hungry. She returned to the kitchen and searched the refrigerator. All the meat was frozen. She wouldn’t take any out to defrost until morning. Tuna came to mind. That was cheap enough. Giving a wild animal too much of Max’s food wouldn’t be right. She took a can from the cabinet and opened it, and then she went back to the front door. The leopard was nowhere in sight.

  Shira stood there wondering what to do. She was too scared to approach it straight out, but if it had wandered off, maybe she could leave the can out where it could find it, that would be okay. Again, she checked the window and saw that the coast was clear. She strained her ears for any sounds. None reached her except the damn crickets. Having opened the door a crack, she peeked out. She crept onto the porch and walked to the steps. She bent to put the can down and froze when she heard a sound behind her. Shira twisted in degrees to find the leopard between her and the door.

  “Oh no,” she squeaked. “Okay, boy, don’t eat me. I have some nice tuna for you.”

  She slid the tuna toward the animal and waited. He sat down and watched her. Somehow he didn’t appear to be threatening despite his big body and the corded muscles. After a while, the leopard lay down and actually crawled toward her. “I think I’ve seen it all. Did someone train you?”

  He looked at her as if he was insulted. Shira covered her mouth on a chuckle. The animal ignored the tuna and lay down at her side. After a long while hesitating, she stroked his back. A muscle twitched, but he didn’t move. She’d seen the same thing in a housecat she’d had once and didn’t let it scare her.

  “Thank you for saving me,” she whispered. His ears perked each time she spoke. “I didn’t think I’d get away, but you were right there. Maybe you don’t remember, but Sam… He would have definitely…” Even though she spoke to an animal with no way of knowing what she was talking about, she couldn’t voice the words. She hadn’t spoken to anyone about how he had treated her except her mother, and that had gotten her nowhere.

  “Are we going to be friends?” she asked the cat. The animal made a muffling noise and laid his head in Shira’s lap. She froze in place until she realized he wasn’t about to attack, and then she stroked his head. “I guess that means yes. Anyway, you better get going before Max comes back. I wouldn’t want him to call animal control on you.”

  On impulse, she dropped a kiss on the furry head and stood. The leopard headed down the steps and walked off into the night. Shira shrugged, picked up the uneaten can of tuna, and returned to the house.

  Shira decided she might as well head to bed even if she didn’t think she could sleep. Funny enough, meeting the leopard must have calmed her more than she realized, because as soon as her head hit the pillow, drowsiness took hold, and she found herself drifting off.

  The next time she opened her eyes, she had no idea how much time had passed. Darkness was still reflected outside her windows, and the moon had gone behind some clouds, so she couldn’t see as well. Yet, she knew someone was in her room. No, not just someone. Max was in her room. She squinted at him standing just inside the door. She wondered if he’d just come home and was checking on her. He didn’t know she had an animal protector now.

  The longer he stood there, the more she wanted to shift her position. Her sheet had slipped low on her thighs while she slept, and she’d gone to bed in the T-shirt he’d put on her the first night. Because he hadn’t purchased panties for her, she had to wash hers out, so she wore nothing under the shirt. Somehow that made her feel more naked. The only consolation was that there wasn’t much light in the room, so there was no way he could see anything.

  “I’m sorry for offending you earlier,” she whispered.

  Although she couldn’t see him move, something told her she’d surprised him. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  “You didn’t,” she lied.

  “Tell me about him,” he said.

  She reached down for the sheet and dragged it up to her chin. The thin material seemed a poor barrier to admitting her stupidity to this man. She didn’t want Max to know how weak she was, how she let Sam destroy her se
lf-worth and rule her every waking moment for so long.

  “I think you know it’s painful,” she said. “So I’ll agree to tell you whatever you want to know, if you do the same.”

  She didn’t have to see his face to know he frowned. At first she thought he was going to leave the room without another word, but then he pushed off the doorframe and walked over to her. He took a seat on the side of the bed, and Shira’s pussy clenched as if he’d touched her.

  “There’s not a lot to tell. Her name was Sarah. She was my mate.”

  “You said that before. Is it like some biblical sense or whatever?”

  “No.” He didn’t explain his wording but went on. “She was meant for me, and everything I could want in a partner. One day we planned to go running together. I had a last minute business deal to make and told her to wait. She needed to work off some stress, so she was looking forward to our time away from civilization.”

  The entire time he relayed the events from his past, he sounded emotionless and cold, like he was reporting the news, but she didn’t believe he felt that way at all. The monotone was a defense mechanism.

  He’d said they needed time away from civilization. Where the heck had they run, in the woods? She wouldn’t put it past Max since he seemed to like his house out there in the middle of nowhere. She was a city girl. Two people couldn’t be more different than she and Max. Sarah sounded like she was right down Max’s alley.

  “She didn’t wait?” she guessed.

  Max clenched a fist into the sheet, but he relaxed it right away looking at her. Shira hadn’t thought to get scared.

  “No, she didn’t wait.” He stood up and paced the room. She thought it was interesting that he didn’t stumble over the ends of furniture. He must have good night vision. “She left me a voicemail that she couldn’t wait. She needed time away. Her job was stressful. She was a veterinarian.”