Lilac Lane

by Sherryl Woods

  “They didn’t,” he said flatly. “Believe me, I would know. It’s something we argued about again and again, but she was afraid if she filed for divorce, he’d find her, maybe even sue her for custody of you, possibly even accuse her of kidnapping you. I tried to tell her there were no grounds, since she was your parent and there had never been any legal ruling to grant him custody.”

  Deanne struggled to make sense of what he was telling her, but couldn’t. “That’s just crazy,” she said finally. “When people split up, they get a divorce. I mean even people who don’t believe in divorce find a way, an annulment or something. They don’t just run off and hide and pretend it’s all okay.”

  “Well, that’s exactly what your mom did, and there was no reasoning with her. I told her it was irrational, but it was fear, Dee. I even asked a lawyer about it. He tried to reassure her, too, to talk her into clarifying the whole situation legally once and for all. She said she wouldn’t risk it. The lawyer swore he could protect her, that we’d prove that we could provide the best home for you, but she wouldn’t take that chance. I have no idea why she was so sure your father would win, but she was obviously terrified. She even threatened to take you and leave me, too, if I forced the issue.”

  Deanna couldn’t seem to wrap her mind around any of it. “Do you have any idea at all why she would be so afraid of what he might do? Had she done something he could use against her in a custody battle or something? Had she run because he was abusive?”

  Ash shook his head. “I have a theory, but it’s just a theory, Dee, based on the years we spent together. Did you know that your mother’s father had sued for custody of her and won, because her mother had some mental health issues? She was apparently quite unstable, possibly manic-depressive, though she was never diagnosed, according to your mother.”

  Deanna was shocked. “I had no idea. Whenever I asked about my grandparents, she just said her family had been kind of a mess, but that both of her parents were gone now.”

  “They apparently died around the same time you were born,” Ash said. “I don’t think your mother had the same problem as her mother, but I think she was terrified that she might develop those same tendencies. And I think in retrospect she knew that taking you and running away was not the act of someone who was totally rational. In the moment, she wanted to teach your father a lesson, and then it all got out of hand. The longer she stayed away, the harder it would have been to make contact and deal with the consequences.”

  The explanation—no more than a theory, as Ash himself had said—made a terrible kind of sense. Still, she had more questions.

  “But you adopted me. She and I both had your last name. I remember that day as clearly as anything we ever did together. I wore a new pink dress because it was my favorite color. We stood in front of a judge and then we went out to lunch to celebrate. Mom even let me have a sip of her champagne.”

  Ash smiled at the memory. “It was a wonderful day,” he agreed.

  “But how was that possible?”

  “That same lawyer found a sympathetic judge who was willing to allow both of you to change your names legally, but that’s as far as it went. Your mother and I couldn’t marry, and there was no adoption.”

  He held her gaze, his eyes filled with regret. “I’m so sorry, Dee. When all of this happened, the paperwork would have meant nothing to you. You were too young to understand it. Later…” He shrugged. “I always meant to tell you the truth. So did your mom, but then she got sick, and I just couldn’t hit you with this while you were worried. You had enough to cope with. It was selfish on my part, but I didn’t want it to change the way you treated either one of us.”

  Shock left Deanna speechless. Nothing about her life was what she had always believed. She’d thought she had this great—perhaps even courageous—mother, who’d dared to take off on her own to get out of a bad marriage. She’d thought they’d both been the luckiest people ever to have found Ash and his warm, loving family. Suddenly her heart seemed to stop.

  “Did Grandma and Grandpa know?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “It would have broken their hearts to know about all the lies. They loved your mom and you so much.”

  “And Aunt Karen and Uncle Blake?”

  He shook his head. “Just your mom and me. No one else. Like you just now, everyone assumed we must have eloped at some point. We never told anyone otherwise.”

  “How could you lie to everyone?” she asked, shaken to think that this man in whom she’d placed so much trust her whole life could deceive all of them. “They’re your parents, your sister and brother.”

  “We thought it was for the best. And after a while, it didn’t seem to matter. We were so happy. Whatever else you think, Dee, remember that. We were happy. That wasn’t a lie.”

  There was such a sad, plaintive note in his voice, Deanna might have felt some sympathy for the position he’d been in, but right now she was still reeling at the realization that her entire life had been based on this huge deception.

  “Why tell me now? Is it just because you were backed into a corner?”

  “Yes, I suppose so. If you meet your father, it’s likely to come up that he and your mother never divorced. I wanted you to learn the truth from me, even if it means you’ll never be able to think of me as your family again.”

  She stood up. “I have to go.”

  “Now? You’re too upset. Stay here and let’s talk about this.”

  “What more could you possibly have to say that would make this any better?”

  Ash sighed heavily at the obvious truth of that. “Where will you go? Back to school? Or are you heading to Chesapeake Shores?” he asked worriedly.

  “I’m not sure,” she said. “School, probably. At least until after finals. I’m not throwing away a whole semester of studies over this.” She said the last with a touch of defiance, as if trying to prove to herself and to Ash how brave she was or how little any of it mattered anymore, that the only thing that mattered was the future, not the past.

  She gazed into Ash’s eyes, trying to remember the wonderful, honorable man she’d thought him to be just moments ago.

  “I do know one thing for sure,” she said. “And I’m not doing this to hurt you, Ash. It’s just that I need time to make sense of everything. I’m not coming home this summer. I have a chance to volunteer at Johns Hopkins Hospital, and I’m going to take it.”

  He looked taken aback by her seemingly out-of-the-blue declaration. “Because it’s close to Chesapeake Shores?”

  “No, because it fits with what I want to do with my life. I’d planned to tell you even before all of this came up.”

  Now he looked confused. “I thought you intended to come back here and take over my business someday. This doesn’t have to change that. I’d still like you to work with me. The business was meant to be your heritage.”

  “I used to want that, too, but when Mom was so sick, I realized I wanted to study medicine. I’ve been taking a few premed courses. I believe it’s what I was meant to do. I just didn’t want to disappoint you.”

  He gave her a wry look. “And now you don’t think that matters, because I’ve disappointed you,” he concluded.

  “It’s not about punishing you,” she insisted. “It’s about doing what’s right for me. I hope you’ll try to understand.”

  “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. Once you’ve had time to think, I hope you’ll see that’s all your mother and I tried to do, to give you a stable family. We might have gone about it the wrong way, but our intentions were good.”

  “I know you see it that way,” she said wearily. “Maybe I will, too, at some point. Right now, though, all I see is the incredible, awful lie our life was built on.”

  And as much as she’d loved her mother and Ash Lane, she had no idea what it would take for her to feel the same way about them ever again.

  *

  Even though it was her day off, Kiera was up with the birds, quite pos
sibly because it seemed as if whole families of them were chirping loudly right outside her bedroom window. It was a lovely sound, if not a restful one.

  She brewed her first cup of tea for the day, wrapped herself in a luxuriously soft robe that Moira had given to her, and walked outside to to sit and watch the sun creep over the horizon, splashing the bay with the bold colors of a dazzling dawn. A workboat made its way slowly along, the chugging of its motor breaking the silence. She’d been told there weren’t as many watermen anymore, but the catch of rockfish and hauls of Maryland blue crabs still kept some in the seafood business as their ancestors had been before them.

  She glanced up just as Bryan came around the side of the main house, dressed in running clothes that showed off a body that was still toned and fit. It was a display she’d been better off not seeing, given the nerves he stirred in her as it was. Even so, she couldn’t seem to drag her gaze away.

  Something must have given her presence away, because he looked in her direction. She held her breath, awaiting a sarcastic comment.

  “You’re up early,” he said, his tone surprisingly pleasant. “Especially for your day off.”

  “It was the birds. They seem to have a lot to be cheerful about this morning.”

  “You could close your windows.”

  “And miss this beautiful morning breeze? An early wake-up call is a small price to pay for this.”

  He nodded in agreement. “I like to get my run in early, so I can be back in time for this,” he said.

  “Would you like to join me?”

  He regarded her cup with skepticism. “Is that more of your chamomile tea?”

  “No, it’s Irish Breakfast Tea,” she said with a smile. “But I have one of those fancy, single-serving coffee machines. I could brew a cup for you in no time.”

  “Let me do it,” he said. “That is, if you don’t mind my invading your space. I wouldn’t want you to miss a minute of the sunrise.”

  She started to argue on principle, but didn’t see the point to it. “If you don’t mind, then. The kitchen’s not exactly hard to find. There are cups and a ridiculously huge variety of coffee pods right by the coffee maker.”

  She watched him go inside, puzzling over his amenable mood, then shrugged. It was something to be grateful for, so best not to examine it too closely.

  When he returned, he took the seat next to hers on the lawn.

  She gave him a quick sideways glance, trying not to linger too long on those impressive muscles. “Do you run every morning?”

  He nodded. “Almost daily. It clears my head.” He gave her a wry look. “And before you comment, some days it does a better job than others. What about you? What do you enjoy doing for exercise?”

  “I’ve never seen the need to be in such a rush, so running holds no appeal. I walk, something I need to get back to doing more before I lose the habit. Riding to work with you has changed the routine I rely on to keep me fit.”

  “I haven’t noticed that it’s changed the way you look,” he said, then immediately looked as if he regretted his words.

  “Was that a rare compliment I heard in there?” she teased.

  “I suppose it was. Was I out of line?”

  “There’s not a woman on this earth who doesn’t want to hear a bit of flattery from a man on occasion. The surprise is that you know how to do it.”

  “To be honest, I’d almost forgotten how,” he conceded.

  Kiera studied his face, then dared to ask, “Who was she, Bryan?”

  He looked confused. “Who was who?”

  “The woman who broke your heart. Or is that too personal a question for me to be asking?”

  “I doubt I could stop you asking anything that’s on your mind, Kiera,” he said ruefully. “But it’s not something I care to talk about.”

  “Perhaps it’s time you did,” she countered. “If not with me, with someone. Wounds that deep are dangerous if they’re allowed to fester. I know that as well as anyone.”

  “You had your heart broken? Was it by the man who died?”

  “I saw Peter’s death as an abandonment, to be sure,” she said. “But it was Moira’s father who broke my heart a very long time ago. I allowed it to change my life in ways I never should have. I lived half of a life for far too long and allowed my pain and bitterness to affect my children. And, so you know, I’ve only recently discovered the difference between the half of a life I led and a full one. It’s easy to mistake contentment for living. I’d hate to see you waste as much time as I did.”

  Bryan stood then, and the rare companionable moment was lost, quite likely thanks to her pushing her opinions on him again.

  “Thanks for the coffee, Kiera.”

  “And the unwanted advice?” she asked. “I’m sorry for overstepping yet again.”

  “I’ve heard that’s what friends do,” he said, though he didn’t look terribly happy about it.

  “And are we friends now?” she asked, surprised.

  “It looks as if we’re heading in that direction. We’ve shared a sunrise together.”

  She chuckled. “You sound as if that’s only slightly more acceptable than the chamomile tea I forced on you.”

  He laughed then. “It’s several steps above that,” he said. “I can see a time when I might come to appreciate the friendship, while that tea will never grow on me.”

  Surprisingly pleased by his words, she nodded. “Then I’ll look forward to that day,” she told him.

  As he walked away, she couldn’t resist one last comment. “Try not to burn the pub to the ground today.”

  He turned back. “If that’s your way of wishing a friend a good day, it could use some work.”

  The comment surprised a laugh out of her, then one from him, as well. The sounds blended in the morning air.

  *

  After the sunrise had concluded its show for the day, Kiera busied herself straightening up her little cottage, which took precious little time. Then, at loose ends and craving one of Sally’s croissants, which were almost as decadent as the morning scone and Devon cream she would have had back home, she walked into town.

  Though she was later than most of the O’Brien women, she found Megan still seated at the large table in back, frowning over something on her laptop, a half-eaten raspberry croissant still on the plate beside her.

  “Would I be interrupting if I sat here?” Kiera asked hesitantly.

  Megan blinked and looked up, then smiled. “You’d be a welcome distraction, to be honest. Please, sit. You’re late this morning.”

  “I took time to watch the sun come up, then did a few chores,” she said as Sally promptly brought her a cup of coffee.

  “Anything else today, Kiera?” Sally asked. “I’ve a few croissants left.”

  Kiera thought of the chocolate croissant she’d been craving, then glanced at Megan’s svelte figure and considered her own ample hips and shook her head. “This will do for now.”

  “So is it your day off?” Megan asked when Sally had moved on.

  “It is. And what explains you being here so late?”

  “I’ve been dealing with a gallery in Atlanta. It’s run by an old friend, who doesn’t welcome no as an answer. He’s used to getting his own way.”

  “What does he want from you?”

  “A showing by your daughter, as a matter of fact. He’s upset that it wasn’t offered to him first, and even more annoyed that I can’t fit his gallery into her schedule for months.”

  Kiera regarded Megan with surprise. “Is it because she’s already booked? I’ve had the feeling that beyond taking her camera out every day, she has time on her hands.”

  Megan hesitated. “Only because that’s the way she wants it. I could have shows lined up for her back-to-back, but Moira refuses. She likes being home. She misses Luke and the baby when she’s on the road. I thought she might let me fit in a few more shows while you’re here, but now you’re on her list of excuses, too.”

  “Me?” Kie
ra said, shocked. “Why?”

  Megan smiled. “Because the other excuses were wearing thin, and she knew it. Now she has a fresh one, her mother visiting from Ireland and her wanting to spend every spare minute with you.”

  Kiera had the audacity to laugh at that. “Now, that would be a first. She was eager enough to leave me behind in Ireland so she could run off to America chasing after Luke. And when we were together, I got on her very last nerve.”

  Megan laughed with her. “When it came to Luke, that was love, Kiera. It doesn’t count and rules of logic don’t apply.”

  Megan’s expression sobered. “Would you be willing to talk to her? Perhaps there’s something going on that she won’t share with me. If I knew what was holding her back, I could guide her career more effectively.”

  “Is this Atlanta gallery so important?” Kiera asked, leery of unwelcome meddling in her daughter’s professional life.

  “Not really. I can handle that just by telling my friend he was too slow trying to jump on the bandwagon, but there are others who are not so easily put off. And Moira needs to capitalize on these opportunities while they’re pouring in. Being the eccentric, reclusive photographer can create a certain sort of excitement and demand for a bit. Then experts at the most respected galleries find other artists who are more eager to be showcased and move on.”

  Kiera stared at Megan. “That’s how they see Moira, as eccentric and reclusive?”

  Megan chuckled. “It’s better than maddening, which is what the family used to call her.” She immediately looked guilty. “I’m sorry. You’re her mother. I should never have said that.”

  “Not to worry. It’s a word that I might have used myself a time or two,” Kiera admitted.

  “Will you speak to her?” Megan prodded.

  “If the opportunity arises,” Kiera agreed half-heartedly. “But I won’t push. This is her career. It’s not my place to push. And, truth be told, she’ll only balk if I do.”

  Megan nodded. “It’s a parent’s dilemma, isn’t it? We can see so clearly what’s best for our children, but trying to tell them what that is will only encourage them to do the opposite.”