Lilac Lane

by Sherryl Woods

  “But she had already turned to another man,” Kiera said. “And this mood of yours this morning is because you’re just a wee bit jealous that it was him, not you in their lives all those years?”

  He sighed. “I know it makes me look petty.”

  She smiled at that. “No, it makes you human. Most men would have mixed emotions. And some would have written all of it off years ago and simply gone on with their lives without a moment’s regret or a thought about the woman and child who’d left. Sean certainly forgot all about us until his sons turned up to become his drinking buddies.”

  Kiera heard the trace of bitterness in her voice and waved off the comment before Bryan could redirect the conversation to her past. “Why did Ashton Lane want to see you?”

  “To make sure I didn’t intend to treat Deanna like some shiny new toy, then abandon her when I grew bored with parenthood.”

  Kiera regarded him with indignation on his behalf. “You would never do that!”

  “Of course not, but I can’t really blame him for needing to be reassured, especially since she’s leaving the University of Virginia to be closer to me. Haven’t I worried about the same thing?”

  Though she hesitated to insert herself into the already complicated situation, she knew that she had a rapport with Deanna that Bryan hadn’t yet achieved. She was the objective outsider whom the girl had chosen to trust with her own concerns and fears, perhaps in a very small way a substitute for the mother she’d lost.

  “Would you like me to talk to her about all this the next time she comes for a visit?” she asked carefully. “Or do you want to do it yourself?”

  “As much as I hate admitting it, I think she does trust you to be honest with her.”

  “She wants to trust you,” Kiera said as another driver tooted his horn to encourage them to move on. “It’s just harder because for years she’s perceived what happened years ago as all your fault. Her mother did nothing to change her view of that.”

  “Why would she? She blamed me for putting my work over our family, and she was right. I did do that.”

  “You’re not the first man to make that choice.” When he would have spoken, she held up her hand. “That’s not a defense of your actions. It’s just that her actions are the ones that stripped you and your daughter of a relationship. Leaving, if that’s what she needed for herself, is understandable. Deliberately keeping your daughter from you is less forgivable. As deeply hurt as I was by Sean’s betrayal, I left the door open for him to see his children. It was his own choice not to walk through it until it became convenient for him because his sons had a little money to spare to feed his need for his evening pints of ale.”

  Bryan sighed. “In my case, I know we’re way beyond the point of laying blame at anyone’s doorstep. We need to deal with where we are now, to find a way to relate as father and daughter, when neither of us has any experience at it.”

  “She does,” Kiera suggested mildly. “Not with you, but with Ashton Lane. Perhaps she can show you the way, show you what she needs, if you’re patient and follow her lead.”

  She caught the smile tugging at the corners of Bryan’s mouth. “What?” she demanded.

  “You, of all people, suggesting patience.”

  Kiera laughed. “It hardly matters if I’m incapable of following my own advice,” she told him. “This is about you.”

  “And I’m in unexplored territory,” he said.

  “You’re not there alone,” she reminded him.

  He pulled into his usual parking spot behind the pub and turned to her then, his gaze on hers steady. “And you have no idea how much that means to me. Kiera—”

  Her breath caught at the intensity of his gaze, but before he could complete his thought or reach for her as she thought he might, hoped he might, there was a tap on the driver’s side window. Startled, they both turned to see Deanna standing beside the car, a beaming smile on her face.

  “Surprise!”

  To Kiera’s regret, whatever Bryan had intended to say or do was lost, but she couldn’t be too dismayed when she saw the genuine pleasure that spread across his face at the sight of his daughter. He was out of the car in an instant.

  “I wasn’t expecting you,” he said.

  “I know,” Deanna said, laughing. “That’s what makes it a surprise.” Her expression faltered. “Is it okay? I know I should have called ahead. Kiera, do you mind if I stay for a few days? The summer program is over and I thought I’d spend some time here, but only if I’m not in the way.”

  Kiera climbed out of the car. “You couldn’t possibly be in the way. You’re always welcome.”

  “Was there anything in particular you’d like to do on this visit?” Bryan asked.

  Though she wasn’t sure Bryan saw it, Kiera caught the mischievous gleam in Deanna’s eyes when she responded. “I was thinking I’d like to meet this Nell I’ve been hearing so much about. Do you think that would be possible?”

  “Of course,” Bryan said, clearly eager, especially this morning, to agree to any request Deanna made. “She’ll be in today to see how my Irish stew is coming along for the competition.”

  “Won’t the two of you be far too busy then?” Kiera asked, giving him a pointed look that obviously had no effect.

  “Of course not,” he said, frowning at her. “Dee, why don’t you go on into the kitchen while I finish up a conversation I was having with Kiera just now.”

  When she’d gone, he turned to Kiera. “I thought you wanted me to follow her lead.”

  “I do,” Kiera said. “But you just played conveniently right into her hand in a way I don’t think you intended.”

  Bryan looked bewildered.

  “Your daughter is looking for an ally in her meddling,” Kiera reminded him patiently. “She’s hoping to find one in Nell.”

  To her surprise he didn’t look nearly as dismayed as she’d expected. “And that’s suddenly okay with you?” she asked.

  He gave her a surprising grin. “Maybe so.”

  And with that tantalizing remark hanging in the air, he walked away, leaving her to wonder exactly when the world had turned topsy-turvy.

  *

  “Mum, what on earth is wrong with you this morning?” Moira demanded when Kiera had lost count of the pub’s liquor inventory for the third time.

  Her mother blinked and stared at her. “I don’t know what you mean. I’m fine.”

  Moira shook her head and guided Kiera to a table in a corner, left and returned with a cup of tea.

  “You’re most definitely not fine,” Moira said. “You’re distracted. You keep gazing toward the kitchen with this odd expression on your face. Is it Bryan? Or his daughter? Has something gone wrong? Has Bryan upset you?”

  “You act as if Bryan’s the only thing I might have on my mind,” Kiera said indignantly. “My life does not revolve around Bryan Laramie or any other man, for that matter.”

  Moira wasn’t buying that for a second. She’d hoped that her conversation with Bryan the day before would nudge him off dead center and spur some action, but what if he hadn’t taken that next step, after all? What if she’d only made things worse? It wouldn’t be the first time that her good intentions had gone awry. Luke would happily point out a few other occasions. She simply did not have Nell’s finesse when it came to meddling successfully.

  “Mum, I can’t help if you don’t talk to me,” she said in frustration.

  “Who said I needed help?”

  Moira was about to throw up her hands and go back to counting bottles of whiskey when her mother added, “What do you suppose is going on in there?”

  Moira followed her mother’s gaze. “In the kitchen?”

  “Of course in the kitchen. There’s no one else about in here this morning. Luke’s gone off to see a supplier.”

  “Deanna was trying to follow Bryan’s instructions when I came through there an hour ago,” she said. “Are you worried about whether they’re getting along?”

 
“It’s not the two of them who concern me,” Kiera said. “Nell’s joined them.”

  “Okay,” Moira said slowly, trying to grasp the problem, then giving up. The workings of her mother’s mind eluded her. “Nell’s not likely to cause problems for them.”

  “Of course not.”

  “Is it the idea of her teaming up with Nell to meddle with your relationship with Bryan? Luke said Bryan had mentioned something about that a few days ago.”

  “And then apparently forgot all about it,” Kiera said with disgust. “But that’s not on my mind at the moment. Do you not recall Nell asking for my Irish stew recipe when she was at the house?”

  Moira now caught a bit of her mother’s alarm. “You didn’t give it to her, did you? Not before this cooking competition?”

  “Do I look as if I can be taken in that easily?” Kiera snapped. “I told her it was all in my head, but that I’d write it down and get it to her soon.”

  “Then that’s all okay,” Moira said, relieved.

  “Or is it? Nell has been making the stew for years. She tasted mine and knew at once there was a difference. They could be in there experimenting right this minute. Bryan’s a skilled chef. He knows spices. Between the two of them, they could come up with an even better version.”

  Moira was honestly stunned that the stupid contest was what was weighing on her mother’s mind. “This is about stew? The distraction? The heavy sighs? All of it?”

  “The contest might not matter to you, but it does to me, and I’ve told you why.”

  “The whole make-or-break thing about your reputation,” Moira concluded. “And I told you that you were worrying about nothing.”

  “I’m entered in this contest because a few clever people—yes, that includes you and Nell—manipulated me into it. Don’t make fun of me because I’m taking it seriously.”

  “Do you want me to go in there to see what’s going on?” Moira asked.

  Kiera looked startled. “You’d spy?”

  “It’s my pub, my kitchen,” Moira said. “Okay, technically, it’s Luke’s, but I have a right to pass through anytime I choose to.”

  To her surprise, Kiera drew herself up. “An interesting point. I should have thought of it myself. I work here. I have a right to be in there, too. You stay here. I’ll go in there and see what the three of them are up to.”

  She stalked off, her chin lifted defiantly. Moira called after her. “Let me know if you need backup.”

  Kiera only waved her off and replied, “I’ve got this.”

  Moira chuckled. The sight of her mum standing up for herself was something to behold. Maybe Kiera really didn’t need her to run interference on any front these days, and wouldn’t that be a wonderful testament to how much she’d changed since coming to Chesapeake Shores!

  *

  To Kiera’s surprise and faint dismay, she found Nell and Deanna huddled in a corner of the kitchen chatting like old friends, while Bryan worked on lunch prep and the stew simmered away on the stove unattended. She sniffed the air but could detect no discernible difference between it and his past attempts. Perhaps she’d overreacted and there was no conspiracy to steal her recipe after all.

  “Did you need something?” Bryan asked, regarding her with amusement.

  “Just some water,” she said.

  His lips quirked. “And there’s none of that at the bar?”

  “I meant ice for the water.”

  “I checked the ice maker myself this morning. Is it not working now?”

  She scowled at his ready answers. “Okay, it’s the wedges of lime and lemon I need. Have you put those out there as well and I somehow missed them?”

  He laughed then. “They’re ready to go and in the fridge where they usually are. Deanna cut them herself.”

  Deanna looked up at that. “It took me three times as long as it would have taken him to get the wedges just right, but I think the entire task was meant to keep me out of his way while he made that batch of stew. He doesn’t trust me near that. He’s convinced I’ll make a mess of it and ruin his chances of beating you.”

  “It’s a reasonable assumption,” Bryan said, but he was grinning.

  “Indeed,” Deanna said. “There is strong evidence that my medical career should not veer toward surgery. My skills with a knife are in serious doubt.”

  “They wouldn’t be if you’d practice,” Bryan said.

  “How, when you won’t let me?”

  “I left you on your own to do those lime and lemon wedges, didn’t I?”

  “And encouraged Nell to coach me,” Deanna retorted.

  Nell and Kiera exchanged a look and dared to laugh.

  “They’re sounding like a typical father and daughter, aren’t they?” Nell observed.

  “Certainly the way Dillon and I always interacted,” Kiera confirmed, reassured by the whole exchange. “And still do on occasion.”

  She retrieved the limes and lemons and left the three of them still taunting each other. It was only after she’d returned to the bar that it occurred to her to wonder exactly what Deanna and Nell might have been huddling about in the corner where Bryan was unlikely to overhear them. That was a worry for another time.

  *

  As well as things had gone ever since Deanna’s unexpected arrival in the morning, Bryan remained alert to every nuance in her voice, every hint that she wasn’t yet entirely at peace with the past as he’d described to her.

  Tonight she’d asked once more to see the box of proof he’d shared with her, then if he had any more old photo albums from their days as a family. He’d seen the expectant look on her face and known she was after more than pictures. She wanted evidence that those pictures and those times had mattered enough for him to keep them. The ones in the box she’d seen before evidently weren’t enough to satisfy her.

  He’d produced everything he had, all of it carefully preserved, and delivered it to Kiera’s during his break at the pub. When he’d left, Deanna was removing each item—from her hospital bracelet and baby blanket to the silver spoon the chef he’d worked for had given her, from a baby rattle to tiny outfits, from framed photos to stuffed animals—and examining each one intently. He had the sense she was trying to stir memories, no matter how unlikely they were to come.

  The look on her face and the tears in her eyes haunted him while he finished up his work at the pub. He couldn’t help wondering how long it would be before she trusted him even half as much as she obviously trusted Kiera. There was some sort of magical connection between the two of them. He was glad of it on the one hand, but on another, he couldn’t help wishing that the bond between him and Deanna was as strong.

  Patience, he reminded himself sternly, as he was about to open Kiera’s back door when he arrived home. Hearing voices, though, he paused.

  “No one understands the heartbreak of being abandoned more than I do,” Kiera was telling his daughter. “There’s a difference, though, between a deliberate act and one that comes about through no fault of the other person. Your father never chose to abandon you. And whatever flaws he had that drove your mother to leave, it was her choice, not his. And you were not the cause of any of it. If anything, you were an unintended victim.”

  Deanna quickly jumped to her mother’s defense, only to have Kiera chuckle. “Did I say I was blaming her? I imagine your father could drive a saint to desperation from time to time. I know there are days I’d like to walk out of that pub and never look back, but I’m older than your mum was when she left and better able, perhaps, to stand my ground. I’m willing to stick around and fight for something I believe has value.”

  Her words struck a chord deep inside him. Bryan couldn’t help it. He stepped into view. “You’re saying I might have value?”

  Both women regarded him with startled gazes. “You’ve been eavesdropping?” Kiera demanded.

  “I just arrived. I didn’t want to interrupt what sounded like an intense conversation,” he said in his own defense. “Rather than t
alking about my supposed crime, let’s talk about what you said. You suggested I have some value.”

  Kiera’s cheeks turned bright red, but she didn’t back down. “I said that these feelings between us might have value. And if you hadn’t been listening in to hear it yourself, I’d be denying I ever said it.”

  He winked at Deanna, who was regarding the two of them with sudden amusement. Her serious conversation with Kiera about the past seemed to be forgotten for the moment.

  “Am I in the way?” Deanna asked, though she showed no signs of leaving.

  “Stay,” Bryan commanded. “I might need a witness. I do believe that Kiera Malone just said she had feelings for me.”

  “That’s what I heard,” Deanna confirmed.

  “So now it’s two against one?” Kiera asked indignantly. “That’s a fine thing after all I’ve done to mediate between you.”

  “I think perhaps the three of us united would be a force to be reckoned with,” Bryan said, looking from one woman to the other.

  “What on earth is that supposed to mean?” Kiera asked. “United against what?”

  “I’ve been thinking recently that it might be time I made a few changes in my life. I wasn’t quite ready to talk about it, but this might be the perfect time.”

  At his words, Deanna looked alarmed. “You’re not thinking of leaving Chesapeake Shores, are you?”

  “Absolutely not,” he assured her. “This has become home to me, and that’s especially true since it means you’ll be close by.”

  “Then what?” Kiera asked, looking thoroughly puzzled.

  “Is it the two of you?” Deanna asked hopefully. “Are you going to ask Kiera to marry you?”

  Bryan laughed at her eagerness, all the while wondering if Kiera was freaking out. “If I were, would I be needing you to announce my intentions?”

  Deanna looked chagrined. “Sorry. But is that it?”

  “That’s a subject for another time,” he said, aware of the tiniest hint of disappointment on both of their faces, though Kiera was quick to hide it. “This is about work, about a dream I once had that I put on hold.”