Kathy

by T. L. Haddix

  Her smile bloomed into a wicked grin. “By all means, Mr. Kelly.” She accepted his hand up and let him pull her into his arms for a moment before she pushed him toward the armchair beside the balcony door.

  As she walked him backward, unbuttoning her top, Charles thought his heart might just explode from his longing for her. Not just a physical longing either, though that was too strong to ignore. He didn’t have much time to think about what he felt as she bared herself to him, just that the emotions ran profoundly deep, deeper than he’d realized. Then he was in the chair, and she was on her knees between his legs, and he was lost.

  Chapter Thirty

  What Kathy did with Charles was something she’d done a hundred times, a thousand times, in the past. During her marriage, she’d become quite adept at pleasing a man orally. Randall had expected such a service as part of her duties as his wife, and he’d never been shy about demanding she perform, day or night, whether she felt like it or not. That expectation had started in high school, while they were dating, and it had lasted until the end.

  The day her world had ended, he’d raped her orally with a brutality that had knocked a couple of her teeth loose and left the soft tissues in her mouth battered and torn so badly that she hadn’t been able to eat solid food for a week. He’d raped her every other way too, but somehow, the oral assault had been the worst.

  With Clay, most of their encounters had been straight and simple sex. The affair that had resulted in the baby was brief, only a handful of meetings really. She could so easily see now what they had been—him taking advantage of her loneliness. She’d made such an easy target. Almost as soon as it had happened, she’d realized how terrible a mistake she’d made. She called a halt to things and ignored him for months. But when Randall, Jr. was a few weeks old, Clay had seen him.

  He’d known instantly what Kathy had only suspected—the baby was his. Immediately, he’d put pressure on her to leave Randall, to run away with him.

  “We’ll start over, Kit Kat. I’ll take you places and show you things you’ve never dreamed of. I’ve got family, you see, over in Pike County. We own land with as rich a seam of coal as you’d ever want to see mined. We’ll be rolling in the dough in a few years. Until then, you and me and the world, baby. Come on.”

  Stuck between the misery and abuse that was life with Randall and the possibility of a better life with Clay, she’d chosen the latter despite her misgivings. With her father dead, her mother having fled to Georgia, and her relationships with her brother and sister strained, she hadn’t felt she had a choice.

  Four people had died because of that mistake.

  When she’d walked back into Charles’s bedroom and seen him standing in front of the doors and looking out at the ocean, a range of emotions so complex she didn’t know how to describe them ran through her.

  She hadn’t gone to sleep immediately after he’d turned the lights out last night. Instead, she’d lain there with her thoughts racing. Even though she trusted Charles, she was stunned that the most he’d done was touch her somewhat intimately—with a loving reverence that left her heartbroken—and snuggle her close as he drifted off to sleep.

  That he wanted her physically, and quite impressively so if she did say so, was plain as day, but that he’d controlled his lust? She was flabbergasted. It was one thing to know a man had respect for her and quite another to experience that respect intimately.

  So when he’d kissed her, she’d known with absolute certainty what she wanted to do. What she needed to do. Taking him into her mouth was as much for her as it was for him. By using the method that Randall had chosen to assault and degrade her, by making it her own again, she was reclaiming her own sexual power. Or maybe she was discovering that power because God knew she’d only ever been at Randall’s mercy.

  That Charles had given her the option to stop? It broke her heart all over again but in a good way. The pieces settled into a different pattern than they’d been in before.

  Making him come apart was the most erotic experience of her life. Everything about the experience, from the way he gripped her head to the feel of him, the taste of him, felt like the first time for her. In all the ways that counted, she believed it was. Loving him like that didn’t just please him but pleased her as well, and that was a bonus she hadn’t expected. She didn’t climax from the experience, but it did leave her more aroused than she’d ever been in her life.

  When she sat back, she closed her eyes, keeping her balance by leaving her hands on Charles’s legs. Her heart was racing, her breathing was almost as labored as his, and need roiled inside her, a longing she didn’t know how in the world to assuage.

  Gentle fingers touched her face, making her jump, and she looked up at Charles.

  “Are you okay?” He was clearly concerned.

  She nodded. “I’m just… I… are you?”

  There was a wealth of self-satisfaction in his expression. “What do you think?” He slid from the chair and bore her backward onto the rug, resting his hips between her legs. Slowly, he lowered his head and kissed the line of her jaw up to her ear. “Do you think I should return the favor?”

  Kathy gasped and rolled her hips. “What do you mean? Return the favor how?”

  Charles froze for a second then lifted his head to stare at her. “Haven’t you ever…?”

  She bit her lip, embarrassed. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  He gave a little shake of his head. “What you did here to me? I can do something similar for you.”

  A memory of certain passages from The Kama Sutra flashed through her mind, and her mouth fell open. “Oh! You would want to do that?”

  “Kathy, I would love to do that.” He moved his weight to one side and braced himself on an elbow, tracing the lines of her body with his free hand.

  The sun coming in was warm across her chest, and the feel of his touch almost burned her so intense was the wake of pleasure it left behind. When he cupped her breast, teasing her nipple to a hard point with his thumb, she moaned. But when he replaced that thumb with his hot, wet mouth and sucked hard, she unraveled.

  That was only the beginning. He took his time moving down her body, going so slowly that by the time he kissed her between her legs, Kathy thought she was going to die. And when he opened his mouth over the heart of her and loved her, she thought she had.

  He didn’t stop until she’d come apart twice. By then, she was crying from the pleasure. He gathered her in his arms and rolled so that she was draped over him, comforting her while she came down. With her legs on either side of his hips, his erection pressed against her teasingly. Sitting up and taking him deep inside felt as natural as breathing.

  “Kathy, God…” Charles grasped her hips, seating her firmly against him as he rolled upward, then he slid his hands up to cup her breasts as she moved.

  Little reverence or finesse followed, but Kathy didn’t mind in the least. She clung to Charles when he sat up, and they kissed as though they were starving for each other. In a way, she supposed they were.

  When it was over, all she could do was hold him and weep. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, buried her face in his neck, and simply cried.

  “Did I hurt you?” he asked, holding her as close as she was him. “Please tell me I didn’t hurt you.”

  She shook her head and kissed his shoulder, but she didn’t look at him. She couldn’t. She was too raw, too open and exposed. “I feel so much…”

  Charles ran his hands over her back, her shoulders, and her hair, his movements slow and soothing as she rode out the storm of emotions that had wrecked her. She didn’t even move when he used the discarded pajama top to take care of practicalities. A few minutes later, a sigh shuddered out of her, and she relaxed against him.

  “Sorry about that,” she rasped.

  He shook his head and kissed her temple, turning her face toward him. �
�Don’t apologize.” He studied her closely, his eyes searching hers. “Are you okay now?”

  Kathy bit her lip. “Yes.” Moving carefully, she lifted off his lap and rolled onto her knees, then she got shakily to her feet.

  Charles stood alongside her, his hand steadying her. His expression was worried, and she realized he probably felt as if he’d done something wrong.

  “I wasn’t expecting to feel so much,” she said as she slid her arms around his waist and kissed his jaw.

  He laid his cheek beside hers. “Is that good or bad?”

  She gave a soft laugh. “Good. It’s scary though. Um, what about you?” She had a pretty good idea that he’d enjoyed himself, but uncertainty washed through her.

  In answer, he smiled at her and held her tighter. “Oh, yeah. What do you say we get cleaned up and get some food started? I’m starving.” Her stomach grumbled before she could speak, and he laughed. “Guess that’s a yes. Let’s get a shower. I’ll wash your back.”

  Kathy tilted her head. “Together?”

  “Sure.” He narrowed his eyes for a second with speculation. “You’ve never done that?”

  She shook her head. “I’m starting to think there’s a lot I’ve never done.”

  This time, his smile was fully wicked as he held out his hand. “No time like the present to get started then, is there?”

  “I think now is the perfect time,” she said softly.

  As she followed him to the bathroom, she realized that just this morning, they’d shattered so many of her beliefs about intimacy. She would never be able to look at sex the same way again, and she didn’t quite know what to make of that.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Choices. Life was full of them. What to have for breakfast, what to wear, what kind of car to drive. What career to pursue, where to live… who to fall in love with. Though maybe that last one wasn’t a choice so much as an amalgamation of fate and whimsy.

  Charles felt very much as though he was at the mercy of a bunch—a coven? A congress?—of mischievous Cupids on Saturday afternoon as he drove Kathy home. They’d lazed away the morning and a good portion of the afternoon, playing with each other. Playing house in a way. Setting up a glimpse into a potential future that he longed for so much he was devastated to think it would never exist.

  Still, he couldn’t force himself to walk away. With a somewhat fatalistic attitude, he admitted to himself that he was in this conundrum of love for better or worse, as if he’d already spoken his vows before man and God. He had no doubts, not anymore, that he was in love with Kathy. He had been for a long time, probably since well before that day on the beach back in June. That was why saving her had been such a personal mission.

  Oh, he didn’t mean the permanent kind of love that a couple builds a relationship on, the kind that takes time and work to grow into a solid foundation. But he’d most definitely felt for a while the kind of love that consisted of yearning and need and hope. That affection was growing deeper. He was thinking about white picket fences and puppies and kittens. God help him.

  When they got to her house, Eliza and the gang were still gone. Kathy invited him in.

  “I promise not to curl up in the corner this time,” she told him with a wink as she unlocked the door.

  He touched her hair, her shoulder. “I won’t run away if you do.”

  She left the front door open and locked the storm door behind them. “I’m going to get changed into some comfortable clothes. Make yourself at home.”

  Since he was as curious about her as she had been him, he set out to explore. His first destination was the small wire shelf covered with framed pictures in a corner of the living room. He was able to piece together who most everyone was as he’d met a good number of her family. He guessed that the tall, dark-haired man who resembled Kathy and Sarah and the cute blonde on his arm, dressed in wedding finery, were Jack and Gilly. Propped up beside that portrait was the image of a tiny newborn, eyes screwed shut, a wisp of hair tied with a little bow.

  “That’s Michelle,” Kathy said, returning to the living room. She was clad in a loose blouse and faded denim jeans. “Jack’s over-the-moon proud of her.”

  He held out his arm so she could slip under it. “Who are the rest of these reprobates?”

  She laughed and told him. When she came to a picture of a toddler with two babies, she sighed and touched the photo. “These sweethearts are Sarah’s three. I’m so happy for her. And Owen… they couldn’t be better parents, and they enjoy their family so much. I’m glad. Maybe you’ll get to meet the babies while they’re here.”

  “They’re cute as buttons.” He kissed her temple and pointed at a snapshot that showed her mother laughing at a tall, smiling man who had his arm around her shoulder. “Is this your dad?”

  Kathy nodded. “They loved each other so much. I don’t think I ever heard them exchange a cross word, though Mama swears their marriage wasn’t perfect. Maybe I’ve closed off any of those memories, but I don’t think so.”

  “A good marriage doesn’t have to be perfect, I don’t believe. It just has to be full of love and respect.”

  “That sounds like perfection to me.” She squeezed his waist. “How about some tea?”

  The phone rang while they were in the kitchen, and Kathy answered. “Hello? Oh, hey, Mama. I’m fine. Are you all having fun?” She smiled and rolled her eyes at Charles. “Good. What? Oh. Okay. No, that’s fine. Really, it is. You should absolutely stay the night so you can see the show tomorrow.”

  Charles grinned, his heart skipping a beat as he considered what that might mean for where Kathy spent the night.

  “Okay, I’ll—no, I’m not sure. Maybe. We’ll see. Okay. Love you. Bye!” She hung up with a sigh. “They’re staying the night. You probably guessed that.”

  “I figured, yes.” He studied her as he drank some tea. “Will this be your first time on your own for the night?”

  She nodded, wiping the counter with a damp cloth. “I’ll be okay.”

  “Too bad you don’t have a friend with a nice, comfy bed you could stay in. Someone with a beach house, maybe.”

  Kathy blushed and laughed. “You don’t have to say that just because I’ll be by myself.”

  He frowned. “I’m not. You’d be more than welcome. I thought you knew that.” He went around the counter to stand beside her. “Unless you don’t want to spend the night again. Which is fine if you don’t. I just… well.”

  “What I don’t want to do is wear out my welcome,” she told him quietly.

  “Ms. Browning, that isn’t even possible.” He caught her hand and kissed the back of it. “It’s entirely up to you. I don’t want to pressure you. But the door is open, and so is the bed. I could even cook for you.”

  The look Kathy sent him was indulgently amused. “Sir, I have seen your skills in the kitchen. I think you’d be safer taking me out to eat. I could cook for you though. Make a nice dinner as payback for last night and this morning. I promise I won’t even put peaches in it.”

  Charles wrapped her in a hug and lifted her off her feet, making her laugh. “I won’t say no to a home-cooked meal, but let’s get one thing straight right now—you don’t ever, ever have to pay me back for loving you.”

  He hadn’t meant to say that—oh, he hadn’t! But the words slipped out, and he couldn’t call them back.

  Kathy stared at him with an arrested expression. “I… um.”

  “Any chance we can just forget that last little portion of what I said?” he asked somewhat desperately.

  Her lips twitched, and she shrugged as she glanced away. “I guess we can.” But she smiled, and to his everlasting relief, she laid her head on his chest with a soft sigh. “What do you want for supper?”

  “Surprise me.” He laid his cheek on her hair and closed his eyes. “I’ll leave it up to you. We’ll have to stop by
the grocery store.”

  “Sounds like fun.” She pulled back, her hands trailing away from his. “I’ll, um, pack a bag, I guess?”

  Charles smiled. “Okay.” He leaned against the counter as she disappeared down the hall, and once she was gone, he blew out a hard breath, scrubbing his face with his hands. “That was close, you idiot. You’re just lucky you didn’t scare her off.”

  He’d have to make a concerted effort not to slip up again. Even though they’d been intimate, Kathy wasn’t nearly ready to declare their relationship as being such, much less anything more significant. Keeping his cards closer to his vest wouldn’t affect how he felt, but it might affect the outcome for them, and that was the future he wasn’t willing to risk. It meant too much.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  The following Saturday morning found Kathy on the beach. This time, she wasn’t alone—Eliza, Owen, Sarah, and the babies were with her. They were having a picnic, their blankets shaded from the bright sun by two huge umbrellas. Ben and Emma were napping, and John was playing with a bucket and shovel under Owen’s watchful eye. They’d invited Charles, but he’d thought he might have to work. He did promise to try though, especially since it was Kathy and Eliza’s last weekend with their family.

  “Let’s walk,” Sarah suggested, holding her hand out to Kathy. “We have a little time before we eat.”

  Kathy accepted her hand, and they set off down the sand. The beach was more crowded since it was the weekend, but it still wasn’t bad.

  Kathy crossed her arms as they walked. “This is so bittersweet. I don’t want you all to leave Monday.”

  Sarah’s smile was sad. “I don’t either, but it’s time. He hasn’t said anything, but Owen’s getting antsy. And I do miss home, I have to say. I’m rather fond of our mountain.”

  “Of course you are. It’s home. I don’t blame you one bit,” Kathy said before Sarah could ask. “I’ll just miss you.”