Dying For Space (Sunblinded Trilogy Book 2)

by S. J. Higbee

  His aunt scooped him up. “Hallo sweeting. Oh, don’t you look like her?” She hugged him to her as if she never wanted to let him go, while Lester put his arms around her neck, and relaxed, clearly boneless with relief that he’d finally found safety.

  I scrubbed at my leaking eyes, while Jessica howled her disgust at my wet behaviour.

  “Thank you. Thank you so much. It was the bravest thing…” Lester’s uncle was sobbing and shaking my hand, along with the three mercs who’d saved us from getting fried.

  The audience were on their feet, clapping. And then questions were coming at us out of the darkness from the journos in attendance.

  “How does it feel to be finally holding your sister’s son, Mrs Holdaway?”

  “How do your own children feel about Lester coming to live with you, Mr Holdaway?”

  “Can you describe how you’re feeling at this moment?”

  It was a relief when the Holdaways left the stage, taking Lester with them. For a nanosec. Then the questions were coming my way.

  “What made you run into enemy fire like that?”

  Thank Mother Earth, I’ve got an answer ready for this one. I cleared my throat. “I didn’t really think about it. One minute I was behind a rock, the next I was running towards the boy.”

  “Is it true that was your first experience of fighting?”

  And that’s another easy one. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all. “Yes.”

  “Did your experience that day influence your decision to go into admin?”

  “No. Once the General got the report and vids of what happened, he decided his nerves couldn’t cope with a similar situation.” I paused a beat, as rehearsed. “And I agreed.”

  It got the laugh that Norman’s speechwriter promised. Though I still didn’t think it all that funny.

  “You called Lester by another name, why was that?”

  I licked my lips. “I have a brother much the same age as Lester.”

  “Is it true that you shot one of the pirates in cold blood?”

  “He ambushed me and Lester. Threatened both of us and when I got the chance, I went for my weapon and killed him.” No more. Forcing my face into a smile, I raised my amped voice to drown out the questions still coming out of the darkness. “I’d like to take this chance to thank the brave soldiers who literally threw themselves into the line of fire and were injured while saving me and Lester. If they hadn’t done this, we’d have both died that day.” I hugged the three mercs in turn. “Thank you so much. Thank you.” And left the stage before I said or did something embarrassing.

  *

  The following morning, Norman was sitting at the breakfast table surrounded by advisors, his face black with temper while some lacklucked staffer was busy talking himself into a hole. “Yes General, I know all the journo reports are full of praise, but…”

  Standing in the doorway, I was reluctant to enter. After all the emotion of the previous night, I wasn’t up to dealing with Norman’s moodiness. Not today. Not any day, if I can help it…

  Get used to it. It’s what you signed up for when you decided to become his daughter.

  I didn’t feel like coping with Jessica, either.

  “She managed just fine when looking after the little boy. But, just look at her expression during the questions,” said the staffer.

  I stared at the wallscreen as my face filled it, wishing they hadn’t frozen that particular shot. I look like I’m sucking on hard vacuum.

  My voice was strained. “…brother much as the same age as Lester—”

  I leaned against the doorjamb feeling winded. Thought I’d answered those fuse-brained questions just fine.

  Norman huffed. “She can be coached. It’s all a question of technique. As you boys know.”

  The staffer squared his shoulders. “But she was, General. We went over all the possible questions for upwards of an hour.”

  Norman’s voice was an ominous rumble, “You saying she is stupid? Because if that’s what—”

  “No, no.” He was now freely sweating. “She’s sharp enough to slice dark matter, General. But that doesn’t make her a natural performer.”

  Norman gestured at a pile of parch-prints scattered across his desk, “Look at the coverage. Not a single bad word about her!”

  “This time. But I don’t think she could do this on a daily basis.”

  What!

  “Thing is, she doesn’t want to be up there with everyone looking at her…” his voice trailed away.

  “Unlike Elsbeth, who loved being in the spotlight, William. Whereas little Elizabeth just doesn’t,” George added quietly. I hadn’t noticed him, earlier. But when he mentioned my half-sister, the atmosphere tightened a couple more notches.

  Life’s too short for this. I edged away from the doorway, deciding to snag some brekkie in my room.

  “Lizbeth! Come on in.”

  Norman never misses anything. That’s how he got to be General in the first place. Which is why you need to tread mega-gently—

  “Good morning Father, gentlemen,” my voice was too loud, trying to drown out Jessica.

  “What about it?” Norman’s eyes shone as they locked onto me. “Your effort last night was a triumph for the P’s. Every single journo is full of what a brave, modest girl you are. It would be ideal if you became one of our main spokeswomen.”

  “Mother Earth, no! Though thank you for thinking of me,” I added as his eyebrows beetled together in a scowl.

  The General’s gaze swivelled across to the staffer who’d argued against my appointment – who had sufficient sense to be looking down at his feet.

  “Don’t know why you’re behaving like I’m about to flush you into hard vacuum.” Norman turned back to me, fumbling for a cigar. “There’s many young women who’d be revved at the prospect of such a job.”

  Including your dead daughter, apparently. “But I’m busy preparing for my job in Procurement.” I suddenly felt sick to my soul of the whole sorry business. Why am I arguing for the right to work in Procurement? The only thing I really want, is to serve in the P’s as a frontline officer. “Which I might add, wasn’t my first choice. Whatever I do is never good enough for you, is it?” Sudden fury made my vision shiver as I strode up to his desk, grabbed a stray stylus and thrust the end of it in the corner of my mouth, aping Norman’s gesture with his vile cigar. “You can’t serve in the front line and that’s my final word on the matter, girl,” I roared, jabbing my finger in the air at him.

  His wide-eyed expression would’ve been funny, if I’d been in the mood to laugh.

  Shedding my caricature of him, I flung the stylus onto the floor. “And now I’m pummelling my brain into porridge learning stock lists and the like – it’s ‘Need to you to be spokesman for the P’s, Lizbeth!’. Make up your sodding mind, why don’t you!” I spun round and stormed out of the breakfast room, with Jessica’s whoops of joy ringing round my skull.

  I was in my room, sweating over a second bunch of press-ups and desperately wishing I’d asked for a BalanceJoust pad before I’d angered Norman again, when the two-tone chimed. “Elizabeth?”

  Thank the stars it’s Fina! I opened the door, to be immediately enveloped into a scented embrace. For a long minute, I hugged her, breathing in her warmth and comfort. Wish Mum was like you. Guilty at such disloyalty when I’d probably never see her again, I pulled away.

  “You solid, sweeting?”

  Don’t be kind, please. Or I’ll be a soggy heap. “Mm,” I mumbled, blinking hard.

  She steered me towards the sitting area of my room. And while I twisted my fingers around a nosewipe, she ordered up a pot of tea and sighing, leaned back in a chair. She was wearing a pale green dress, with matching shoes. But her perfectly applied make-up and immaculate hairstyle couldn’t hide her strained expression.

  “You’re not, though,” I blurted.

  Fina raised her eyebrows in query.

  “Solid.” I leaned towards her, my anger re-ign
iting. “Does he do that to you? Corner you into doing one thing, only to decide a few days later he wants something else, instead?” I jumped up. “What’s the point? Whatever I do, he’s going to be angry with me.” And I’m so tired of trying to please impossible fathers!

  At last. You begin to see exactly what he’s like. Jessica wouldn’t slam it shut.

  As Fina drew breath to speak, I cut her off, “Oh yeah, he says he loves me. And gives me stuff. But he only wants me to do things that chime with his agenda, which is the same as the Cap, really.”

  She tilted her head in that way of hers. “I’ll grant that he’s overly controlling, with only the soggiest notion of what the women in his life want or need. But he really, truly does love you. More than you know.”

  “Oh really?” I shouldn’t be saying these things aloud.

  Why, Lizzy? What’s the point? You spend all your time hopping from foot to foot, just to keep Pigface content. I wished Jessica would stop long enough to let me think.

  “Is it me he loves – or whenever I remind him of Elsbeth?”

  Fina’s face blanched under her make-up. “Mother Earth! Whatever you do, don’t ever fling that one at him. When they died – you’ve no idea. He just fell apart.” She leaned forward. “He seems to have bounced right back. But underneath… you never get over that kind of loss, sweeting.”

  Pushing back a sudden image of Wynn, I stared back at her. “I know, Fina. He isn’t the only one who’s lost loved ones.”

  “Which is why he was able to help when you were grieving. But don’t ever bring Elsbeth up during one of your flare-ups. If you do, he’s liable to…” Her grip tightened. “Please. Cut him some free air. You’ll get no quarrel from me that he’s got a skewed way of showing his love for you, sometimes. But I watch the two of you together – and you’re so good for him.”

  The two-tone chimed. Our tea had arrived. Distracted by discussing with her how I could best apologise to Norman, it wasn’t till much later I realised what Fina hadn’t said. She hadn’t said that General Norman was good for me.

  But by the time I noticed her omission, it was too late.

  CHAPTER TEN

  “Bernal?” I called across the yawning space that was Procurement.

  “What, now?” Rick Kelbee’s assistant sounded tight-wound.

  “This model. I can’t find it on the stock control listings. Sorry…” I bit my lip as he stormed across to my workstation.

  Shouldering me out of the way, he leaned across my desk and scanned down the list. Air hissed through his teeth as he got to the bottom, without finding Medi Field Kit Mk 4{itecode642-190-7423}. I looked down at my lap. This was the sixth time I’d asked Bernal for help since my arrival.

  When I’d presented myself at Procurement ready to start work, he’d made it solidly obvious what he thought of me with his sneering hostility and rapid-fire explanation of the make-work task I’d been assigned.

  Then Rick Kelbee wafted out’ve his office. “Don’t worry about any mistakes you make while settling in. We all know the work here is mentally far more demanding than anything you’ve been used to, so far.” His fatherly smile could’ve melted Callisto as he patted my shoulder. “But Bernal will look after you.”

  Hell in a black hole! What does he think I was doing on the Shooting Star – sodding well rowing it?

  They want stupid, Lizzy. Why not give it to them? Jessica’s suggestion was irresistible. Despite my best intentions to make the best of the wretched job – Bernal’s contempt – on top of Rick’s assumption that I was a null-brain was too much to bear.

  “What’ve you gone and done, now?” Bernal’s glare could’ve scorched holes through Star’s reinforced hull. “Don’t know.”

  I widened my eyes.

  He quick-scanned the list twice more, proving he wasn’t as stinging as he liked to think. The screen squawked in protest as ten minutes and six pages later, he finally jabbed it with his finger. “There! That’s why you can’t find it. You transposed the digits. Mercury’s dust, how did you manage that?”

  “Don’t know,” I mumbled. In truth, it had taken a while to figure how to mess up the numbers. I was quite proud that I’d managed it.

  Bernal wasn’t. By the time he’d corrected them, he was red in the face and his coiffed hair was dishevelled where he’d clawed his fingers through it. “Prodding chimp brain!” His snarled aside as he stomped back to his workstation wasn’t as much under his breath as it should’ve been. Earning him several shocked looks. One woman even tutted and shook her head.

  “Sorry, Bernal.” His impatience had everyone suitably sympathetic. Even if they all reckon I make rocks look intelligent.

  Sending me another searing look, Bernal abruptly swung round to Kelbee’s office, rapped once on the door and went in without waiting for a reply. In his fury, he didn’t bother to close it. Or maybe he wanted me to hear his rant. “It’s pointless trying to work! She hasn’t the smallest idea of what to do…”

  All activity in the sprawling outer office ceased as everyone openly listened.

  Kelbee’s reply was a soothing drone.

  Except Bernal wasn’t the slightest bit soothed. “It’s all well and good telling me to be patient. I haven’t managed to do a single thing. I tell you, Rick, she’s even more ape-brained than her father—”

  As the door suddenly slid shut, there was a collective gasp from my new colleagues. Who all turned to me.

  I couldn’t do this anymore. “Sorry.” Racing off to the facilities, I was scaldingly conscious of the monitors. Fortunately, I managed to keep my hilarity holstered till I blundered into the nearest stall. Even then, I had to muffle my howls of laughter with a wad of steri-wipes, which tipped me into outright hysterics. Jessica was gurgling fit to bust, while nagging me to be quieter.

  The door opened.

  I couldn’t stop a muffled guffaw escaping, as I wiped my streaming eyes and tried to get some control.

  “Uh, Miss Norman?” I couldn’t place the voice. But then, Bernal hadn’t bothered with proper introductions to my new work mates. Just snapped a lot of names at me.

  “Y…yes,” I hiccupped, digging my nails into my palms.

  “Please, don’t cry. That mega-headed stream of snot is majorly not worth it.” Her kindness sobered me up.

  “Thank you.” Taking a breath, I opened the stall and came out, blotting my face on my sleeve. “I beg your pardon, but I didn’t catch your name.”

  “That’s hardly a s’prise, is it? Given that Banal didn’t wear out his sorry self on the rest of us worthless dross.” She looked about the same age as Jessica – which, given she was a dirtsider, put her at anything between fifteen and fifty.

  She stuck her hand out in greeting. “Riona Starstorm. Pleased to meet you, Elizabeth Norman.”

  “The honour is mine, Riona Starstorm.” I was touched this girl came to check if I was solid.

  Probably some flap-mouthed idler, panting for any shoddy detail you let drop.

  And maybe she’d like to be my friend. Ever think of that?

  Jessica snorted. With Norman’s daughter? Get real, Lizzy. Most people just want to sweetslime round you cos of who you are—

  I raised my voice to drown her out, “Let’s get out of here.”

  Riona blinked. “Don’t you want to fix your face? Rick likes everyone to look their best.”

  “Of course.” Staring at my reflection, I winced.

  That morning, it had seemed a good idea to apply this stuff on my face for my first day in the job. Most of the females working around the base – other than mercs – seemed to wear make-up. And Norman liked it. However, I’d forgotten all about it while stifling my hysterical giggles. Dabbing at it with a damp nosewipe wasn’t even starting to shift the smudgy mess around my eyes.

  You haven’t brought a make-up bag to work with you, have you Lizzy?

  I gritted my teeth. She’d been my friend and I’d grieved when she’d died. But right now, Jessica was driving me s
tar-crazed.

  Oh – and were you full of, ‘Don’t forget to take some spare make-up?’ No. You weren’t.

  Riona cleared her throat, “Er, got something in my bag in the office. I’ll go and get it. If you like.” She stared at me while edging out of the door.

  Which was when I realised I was muttering to Jessica under my breath. Recently, she was a constant presence even when she didn’t say anything. Like an itch in my head I couldn’t scratch.

  I paced the room, trying to avoid my reflection and wondering what was keeping Riona.

  She finally burst back into the facilities with a planet-sized grin on her face, clutching her bag. “Yeah! Himself is up to his neck in it. Rick is outright furious with the flooder.” Riona’s triumphant tone softened into adoration, as she continued, “Wants you to take as long as you need to compose yourself. And he said that he is profoundly sorry for any distress you may have suffered. Those were his very words. And he looked so… so…” Rick Kelbee in panic mode was evidently beyond Riona’s vocabulary.

  “Sorry?” I suggested.

  She upended her make-up bag on the counter. “Oh, don’t spatter Rick with Banal’s shoddy behaviour. That mossbunking suck-up has completely fooled Rick… Hold still a minute. Let’s get this stuff off.” Peering into my face, she started wiping it with swift deft strokes. She didn’t even make my eyes sting. “But I haven’t told you the best bit. Rick has sent Himself home on a disciplinary suspension for inappropriate behaviour. He’s to write you a formal apology.” Riona was bubbling with happiness. “I could hug you! We’ve been waiting for Rick to find out what Himself’s really like. And now things will go back to how they used to be…”

  Am I now really stupid, after acting the part? Because I’m missing something, here. “So, has Bernal been dismissed?”

  “No.” Riona paused in her efforts on my face while explaining the reason for her delight. “But don’t you see? Banal had poor Rick completely fused. And now Rick knows what he’s like, it’ll be different!”

  I wasn’t sure if Riona was simple, or very sheltered. Because she didn’t appear to realise exactly what kind of relationship Bernal and Rick had. Is everyone else ignorant of their love affair? Does Norman know? Never mind who did or didn’t know about it, in my experience lovers tended to forgive a lot. And I was willing to bet that Rick’s annoyance over Bernal’s angry words would fade into the furniture in no time flat.