Bending the Rules

by Margaret Watson

  Ignoring the pain, he opened the letter and slid out the single sheet of paper. Unfolded it slowly.

  There was one small paragraph, in the same handwriting as the envelope.

  Dear Nathan,

  If you’re reading this letter, it’s because I’ve passed away and you’ve found out about Harley. Forgive me for not telling you about her, but I knew about your situation and decided it would be better for all of us if you didn’t know about Harley. You already had too much to deal with, and I knew you were overwhelmed.

  I never intended to disrupt your life, but I had no choice. Please take good care of her. I hope you can find it in your heart to love her.

  Sonya Michaels

  A fresh wave of anger made his head pound. “What kind of bullshit is this?” He tossed the piece of paper across the table toward Emma. “This doesn’t tell me anything.”

  She scanned the letter, then set it on the tablecloth. “This isn’t like Sonya. But then, neither was the letter she left for me.”

  “What did she say to you?”

  “Just asked me to adopt Harley if you—” she swallowed and glanced away “—weren’t able to take her. Told me how much our friendship had meant. Asked me to tell Harley that she loved her. Nothing about why she didn’t tell you.” She hesitated. “What was ‘your situation’? Why were you overwhelmed?”

  “It was irrelevant. She should have told me she was pregnant, but she chose not to.” He shoved his hand through his hair. “I know she was your friend, but she was wrong on so many levels.”

  “I know.” She slid her hand along the strap of her purse. “How are you going to explain to Harley why she didn’t tell you?”

  He’d passed beyond anger to numbness. “What am I supposed to say? ‘I had sex with your mom and don’t remember her? She didn’t respect me enough to tell me about you?’ I have no idea. Any suggestions?”

  “When the time comes, we’ll figure something out.” She reached into her purse and drew out a small framed certificate. “I found this in her stuff. Does it ring any bells?”

  He took the cheap brown frame and studied the yellowing paper. “Employee of the month.” The dean’s office of the college of Liberal Arts and Sciences at the University of Illinois. He glanced at the date.

  “I was at the University of Illinois then,” he said slowly. “In LAS. I might have met her in the dean’s office. I honestly can’t say.”

  “I think it’s a fair assumption that you did,” Emma said dryly.

  “I guess it is. Still doesn’t explain why I can’t remember anything about...”

  “About sleeping with her? Maybe you were drunk. High. Who knows? All we know is that you had sex with her.”

  “Fine.” She made it sound so sordid. So dishonorable. “I’ll do some digging and try to figure it out. But in the meantime, what about Harley?”

  She reached across the table, took the certificate and placed it carefully back in her bag. “I suppose you should meet her.”

  “I suppose I should. But don’t...don’t tell her I’m her father. Maybe we should get to know each other first.”

  She studied him for a long moment. “I swore I’d never lie to her. Meant it, too. But less than a month later, this will be the second big lie I’ve told her. There’ve been a few small ones, too.”

  “Being a parent isn’t black-and-white. There’s a lot of gray in there.”

  “Like you’d know.”

  Yeah, he would. “Doesn’t take a genius to see that,” he said, his voice even. “Not telling her right away would be easier for Harley. Less pressure.”

  “Easier for you,” Emma said.

  “For you, too,” he retorted. “Or are you that eager to explain to her why her mother lied?”

  Faint pink tinged her skin again. “Fine. You’re right. So what do you suggest we do?”

  “Why don’t you bring her here for dinner one night? I’ll sit with you for a while. We can tell her the truth about how we met—that should ease your conscience.”

  “Are you suggesting we pretend to be dating?”

  “You don’t have to sound so horrified by the idea.” When they’d met that night at FreeZone, he’d been all for dating her. He was pretty sure she had been, too. “And that’s not what I’m suggesting, anyway. You know Frankie. Frankie’s my sister. Frankie told you about the restaurant. You wanted to try it out. Okay? That’s all true.”

  Emma stood. “Fine. I’ll figure out a day that will work and give you a call. We’ll have dinner.”

  He stood, as well. “Good.” He hesitated for a moment, then reached across the table to shake her hand. “No matter what we think of each other, we need to work together. You want what’s best for Harley, and I do, too.” Her hand was warm and soft. Small. Almost fragile.

  It was the only fragile thing about Emma Sloan.

  “But who gets to decide what’s best for her?”

  “Maybe she does.”

  She held his gaze as she let go of his hand. “I’ll be in touch, Nathan.”

  The front door opened, but he knew Phyllis would seat the customers. “Thanks for coming by.”

  He heard the sound of feet approaching behind him. Emma paled, and he turned to see a redheaded girl standing behind them, a devastated expression on her face and tears streaming down her cheeks. She stared at Emma, her blue eyes miserable with betrayal. “You lied to me.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  OH, MY GOD. Emma reached for Harley, but the girl jerked away. “Harley. What are you doing here?”

  “I came to check out my so-called father. Is that him?” Harley’s gaze swept over Nathan. “Or is that another lie? He doesn’t look anything like me.”

  She pivoted back to face Emma. “And you lied to me.” Her voice caught on a sob, and Emma reached for her. Harley backed up, bumping into a table. “The whole adoption thing was crap, wasn’t it? You knew about him all along. You were planning to dump me on him.”

  Emma pushed past Nathan and put her arm around Harley’s shoulders. “Harley, I...”

  The girl shoved her arm away. “Don’t touch me. You never wanted me. You were just looking for someone to take me off your hands.”

  “Harley, stop it! That’s not true. I just found out myself.” She grabbed the teen’s shoulders and held on tightly as Harley tried to squirm away. “I came here tonight to tell Nathan he was your father. I got the results of the paternity test....” Her voice faded away. The paternity test she’d lied to Harley about.

  “What paternity test?”

  Emma swallowed. Held on more tightly. “That blood test you had a few days ago.”

  “You said that was for school. You lied about everything!”

  “Of course I did,” Emma shouted back. Every last one of her social worker skills vanished in the face of Harley’s pain and anger. “What if it had been negative? Why would I want you to get your hopes up?”

  Harley wrenched herself away. “Hopes? Hopes for what? That I’d go live with a stranger? You said you’d adopt me. You promised.”

  “Yeah, I did. That was before I knew about Nathan.”

  Nathan stepped between them, his face pale. “Harley, I’m Nathan.” He swallowed. “Your father. This isn’t the way Emma and I wanted you to find out about this. About me. She lied to protect you. You’ve had enough disruptions in your life already.” He extended his hand to Harley and she flinched. Nathan curled his fingers into his palm. “I’m sorry about your
mother.”

  “Don’t you talk about my mother.” Harley began to sob. “She always said you loved each other, but you didn’t care about her at all. If you had, you wouldn’t have left us.”

  Emma elbowed him aside and wrapped her arms around Harley. She knew how to deal with wounded children, but that was...clinical. Harley was a child she loved. She spoke without analyzing it first. “I love you, Harley. I wasn’t trying to hide this from you. We just wanted to figure out the best way to tell you.”

  Harley twisted her fingers in Emma’s sweater at the same time as she tried to shove her away. Her tears were hot on Emma’s shoulder, and she wept as though her heart was breaking all over again.

  Beyond those first couple of days after her mother died, Harley hadn’t cried at all.

  “Why don’t we take this into the office?” Nathan said in a low voice. “I don’t want to...disturb our customers.”

  He met Emma’s gaze over Harley’s head. He looked as lost as she felt. As desperate to regain some control of the situation. Emma nodded. There was no reason to broadcast their drama to the whole restaurant.

  Harley didn’t lift her head. Didn’t acknowledge Nathan. Her fisted hands still clutched Emma’s sweater. Emma held her more tightly, rubbed her hands down her back.

  “Harley, would you, ah, like something to drink?” Nathan asked.

  For a moment, Emma thought she’d continue to ignore him. But she lifted her head and stared at him for a moment. “A Coke.”

  Then she turned defiant eyes on Emma, as if daring her to say, “no caffeine.”

  “A Coke would be good,” Emma said, trying to sound calm. “Thank you, Nathan.”

  “This way,” he said, hurrying ahead of them. He stepped into a waitress’s station. Ice clinked into the glass, followed by the soda. He handed it to Harley, then asked, “How about you, Emma?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “What’s wrong with your leg?” the girl asked.

  “That was rude, Harley,” Emma said.

  “No, it’s all right,” Nathan said. He turned to Harley. “I was hit by a car. I broke my left leg and left arm.” He wiggled his arm back and forth.

  “Oh,” Harley muttered.

  Emma kept her arm around Harley as they walked into the kitchen. It was hot, and several men worked at the stoves on the left side. On the right side, a guy slid a pizza into one of two wood-burning ovens.

  And just to make the evening complete, Frankie was here, too. She stood in front of them, talking to a man who looked like a younger, leaner version of Nathan.

  Harley stopped moving and stared at Frankie. Emma wanted to turn and run. To drag Harley away from Mama’s Place, away from the Devereux family, away from the stew of emotions that swirled around them.

  She wanted a chance to talk to Harley, alone, to make the girl understand why Emma had lied.

  Too late. They’d tried to do the right thing. To be so careful. But all she and Nathan had done was hurt Harley.

  Frankie glanced over her shoulder. Smiled. “Harley. Emma. What are you doing here?”

  “Later, Frankie,” Nathan said, trying to hurry past them.

  Harley dug in her heels. “Did you know, too, Ms. Devereux?”

  Frankie’s smile faded. “Did I know what?” She glanced at Emma with a puzzled expression.

  “That he’s—” Harley gestured toward Nathan “—my father.” The girl’s gaze whipped from Frankie to Nathan and back again, and her voice took on an edge of hysteria. “My mom said I already knew my aunt.” Harley’s nose was red and she didn’t seem to notice the tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “What?” Frankie stared at Nathan, her eyes narrowed. “What the hell is going on?”

  “Really, Nate?” The other man, the one who must be another brother, scowled. “Are you frickin’ kidding me?”

  “Shut it, Marco,” Nathan yelled. “There’s a kid here.” He shoved his hands through his hair, leaving it sticking up. “God! Could this get any worse?”

  * * *

  HARLEY’S HEART SHRIVELED. He didn’t want her, either. Then the jerk guy yelled at Emma. “You had a fling with Nate, and now you’re trying to pass this kid off as his? What kind of scam are you pulling?”

  “What the hell’s the matter with you?” Nathan shoved jerk guy backward. He fell into a wire shelf, and pots and pans clattered to the floor.

  Harley began to shiver. She’d done this. They were yelling and hitting each other because of her. Emma glanced at Harley and frowned. She knew this was Harley’s fault, and now didn’t want her, either.

  Harley tore away from Emma and ran toward the door. Something on the floor made her slip and almost fall. She slid into the counter and grabbed the edge, steadying herself. Then she shoved at the door and it swung open.

  As she ran through the restaurant, everyone watched her as if she was some kind of freak. She ran faster and banged through the front door, hurtling onto the sidewalk.

  “Harley! Wait!”

  Emma. Behind her. Running. Needing to escape, Harley bolted into the street. A car flashed past her, just a few inches away. Its horn blared, and Emma screamed.

  More cars were coming from both directions, but she ran anyway. Emma would be sorry if she died. Harley didn’t care. She wanted to die. Then she could be with her mom.

  A car swerved, skidding, and Harley darted across the remaining two lanes of Devon Avenue. Horns honked behind her and tires squealed. Emma was chasing her. Maybe Emma wanted to die, too.

  Harley stopped on the sidewalk, panting, her lungs burning. She looked behind her, and Emma was almost across the street. Harley took off down the sidewalk. She didn’t know where she was going. She didn’t care. She just wanted to be away from Emma, who’d lied to her. Nathan, who was her father but didn’t want her. The jerk who said awful things. Frankie. Her aunt.

  Harley galloped down the sidewalk, crossing the side streets without even looking. The pavement was old and crumbling, and some of the pieces were uneven. She caught her shoe on one and stumbled. She almost fell, but she braced herself with her palm, which slid along the cement. It stung, but she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything.

  “Harley, stop.” Emma’s voice, breathless. Close behind her.

  Harley rounded a corner and headed down a street with big houses. Her chest burned and her side ached, but she couldn’t stop. Then arms closed around her from behind. “Stop, Harley,” Emma begged. She sounded out of breath, too.

  Harley tried to twist away, but Emma was too strong. She pulled Harley close and buried her face in her hair. “God, Harley! You could have been killed.”

  “I wish I was dead.” Snot mixed with the tears on her face, and she swiped the sleeve of her hoodie across her face. “Everyone lied to me. You lied. My mother. Frankie. I hate all of you.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Emma said. She held Harley tight, and Harley felt drops hit her hair. Was Emma crying? “I don’t blame you. I’d feel the same way.”

  * * *

  EMMA TIGHTENED SPAGHETTI-LIMP arms around Harley, and the girl eventually stopped struggling. She drooped against Emma’s chest, panting. Finally she lifted her head. “I hate you, Emma.” Her quiet voice was brokenhearted.

  “Yeah, I guess you would.” She tucked Harley’s head closer and dropped a kiss onto her hair. It smelled like the outdoors and shampoo. The same shampoo Emma used.

  I hate you. Those words were new to Emma. The
y hurt, but she tried to ignore that. This wasn’t about her. It was about Harley.

  “Your fa...Nathan and I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Emma said, stroking Harley’s damp red hair away from her face. “We couldn’t tell you he was your father until we knew for sure. What if...” What? What if her mom had made a mistake? Is that what she wanted to tell Harley? That her mom slept around? Wasn’t sure who Harley’s father was?

  “What if what?” Harley asked.

  “What if it wasn’t official?” Emma said, scrambling for the right words. “There’s all kinds of paperwork. The paternity test was one of the steps. What if we hadn’t done it? Then the paperwork would take even longer.”

  She was making this up as she went along, and it didn’t make sense. But what was the alternative? A young girl shouldn’t have to think about her mother having one-night stands with strangers.

  If Harley was a client, it would be so much simpler. Explain what they were doing. Do it with compassion and gentleness, but tell the truth.

  But Sonya’s truth would hurt Harley deeply. And Emma loved Harley too much to do that.

  “You lied to me about that blood test. You said it was for school.”

  Emma closed her eyes. “Yes, I lied to you. I didn’t know what else to say.”

  “You lied about everything.” Harley’s voice trembled. Her expression was closed off. Despairing. As if her mother’s death wasn’t enough of a blow. Now the rest of her world was falling apart, too.

  “Not about everything. I love you. I want to adopt you. Then I talked to your mom’s lawyer and found out that Nathan was your father. Found out that Frankie was your aunt.” She swallowed and took a trembling breath. “The things I lied about—it was only to give Nathan and me time to figure out how to tell you the truth. It was to protect you, Harley. That’s all.”