In the Wake of Wanting

by Lori L. Otto

  “I did talk to Asher about formal today, and he said he called a car to take Pree home after the dance. He didn’t mention leaving with her, or going by The Wit.”

  “Did you confront him?”

  “No. I was afraid he had seen me. I didn’t want to know if he’d seen me waiting outside of Coley’s dorm.” If that doesn’t reek of guilt, I don’t know what does. “I’m sorry.”

  “This isn’t about that,” Mom says. “So, he lied?”

  “He could have had a million reasons for lying. It doesn’t mean he raped her. I mean, no one should be at The Wit that late. There’s no reason to be there. What could they have been doing, right?”

  “Exactly,” she says. “Was any work done? Any breaking news over the weekend?”

  “No,” I say. “Coley says Pryana doesn’t remember even leaving the hotel. But she was walking on her own accord when I saw her.”

  “Sounds like maybe she was drugged,” Dad says.

  “Nobody would have drugged her. This was a Sig Rho formal event.” I shake my head. “You know we’re not like that.”

  “I know you’re not capable of that,” my mother says. “I love your naivety, Trey, but some individuals are capable of awful things, no matter how many positive people they surround themselves with.”

  “Asher wouldn’t do that. I would know. I’m a better judge of character than that.”

  “I’m not saying it was him.” She shakes her head. “All you know right now is it wasn’t you. Help Pryana connect the dots, Trey. Put your investigative skills to use. Already you know a little more than she does.”

  “Coley won’t let me talk to her. Coley won’t talk to me.”

  “I’ll get the footage,” Dad says. “If Pryana doesn’t want you near her, fine. Ask questions of your brothers. Who was around? Who gave her drinks? You know the questions to ask.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’m guessing the police are already involved?” Mom asks.

  “I… I don’t even know. I would think so. If they are, they’re probably going to bring me in for questioning,” I say, starting to panic again.

  “You’re innocent, honey.” I nod my head. “We have lawyers. We’ll have evidence. Just tell the truth.”

  “Okay.”

  “Should I take you back to your apartment?” Dad asks.

  “If you don’t mind, that would be great.”

  “Anything, buddy.”

  After getting in the car with him, I rub my stubble again, finding comfort in it. “Why, Dad?”

  “Why did this happen to her? I don’t know. It’s horrible for her, and we’ll pray for her and if she needs anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask. Why are you involved? Well… you’re gonna do the right thing, and you’ll get through this. Just help find out who did it. That’s where you’re needed. That’s why you’re involved. Right?”

  “Sure,” I say.

  “You’re made for this.”

  I sigh as I look out the side window.

  “Jackson?”

  “Hm?”

  “What are your feelings for this girl? Coley?”

  “Nothing’s happening between us, Dad. I swear.”

  “That’s not what I asked, son.”

  I nod my head, my eyes glazed over as I focus on the road ahead of us. “All I can say is nothing’s happening between us. Judging by what she thinks of me now, it’s safe to say nothing will in the future, either.”

  He doesn’t press me any further, but I feel the need to say more.

  “I can’t figure out what I’ve done to make her think I’d do something like this. I’ve been nothing but a gentleman around her. Always.”

  “She knows you have a girlfriend?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Have you led her on? It may seem like a harmless thing, Jackson, but manipulating a woman’s emotions is a crime unto itself.”

  There’s no simple answer to his question, so I stay silent. When we pull up to my building, I look him in the eye to thank him for driving me home.

  “Jackson, don’t forget about Zaina, okay?”

  “I won’t,” I tell him. “I could never.”

  chapter ten

  Immediately when I get inside my building, a guy runs toward me and tries to ram me up against the side wall. Even though he catches me off guard, I’ve got at least six inches and thirty pounds of muscle on him.

  “What the hell?” I yell, grabbing onto his shirt. The concierge and doorman are quick to come to my aid, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him off of me. “Who the hell are you?”

  The blonde-haired guy shakes himself free and plants his feet into the floor in front of me to show me he’s not leaving. I wait for him to answer.

  “Well?”

  “What?” he asks loudly.

  “Who the hell are you?”

  He shakes his head, looking confused. “Stay away from her!”

  I cock my head to the side and lift my right hand. “J-O-E-L.” I speak the letters as I sign them, then nod my head and raise my brows so he knows I’m asking if that’s who he is.

  “No shit, Sherlock.”

  “I D-O-N-T S-I-G-N W-E-L-L.”

  “You don’t need to. You can just listen.” His speech is normal, with the exception of its volume. He has no idea how loud he is, but I don’t want to be rude and tell him to quiet down. “Did you rape that girl?”

  Everyone in my building’s lobby turns to look at me. “No!” I’m just as boisterous as he is, now angry.

  “How do we know?”

  “Because I’d never do something like that! Ever. And I’ve never done anything to your sister to give her any reason to believe I would, either, so I don’t know why she sent you here making incredibly libelous claims about me, but you better watch what you say. You’re walking a very thin line right now.”

  He shakes his head, letting me know he didn’t understand me.

  I raise my hands in frustration. “I C-A-N-T H-A-V-E A C-O-N-V-E-R-S-A-T-I-O-N W-I-T-H Y-O-U.”

  “You just did.”

  I set my backpack down and get out my Moleskine and pencil, writing down everything I just said and passing it to him.

  “Is that a threat?” he shouts.

  I take the notepad back. “Of a lawsuit? Yes. I will have proof for Coley that I was at home all night that night. I need to know what more she needs from me to prove to her that I had nothing to do with what happened to Pryana. I need to know what I can do to help them both.”

  “Stay away,” he says.

  “I. Don’t. Want. To,” I enunciate clearly when I know I have his full attention. “I am Coley’s friend. I am Pryana’s friend. I need to help them.”

  “Who is Asher?” Joel asks.

  “My. Best. Friend.”

  “Prove that he didn’t do it, either.”

  “Okay.” I start writing again. “Has Pryana been to the doctor? Has she gone to the police?” He shrugs his shoulders when I show him the note. I continue. “If she hasn’t gone to both, she needs to go. I’ll take her to either or both. I’ll go with her. Coley can come. You can come, too, if you don’t trust me. I have an SUV. We can all fit. I’d really like to talk to Pryana.”

  “I’ll go back to Coley’s dorm. She’s going to want your proof.”

  “I. Will. Have. It. Soon… Tonight.”

  He nods and starts to walk out. I tug on his coat to get his attention and write down one more thing.

  “I swear on my father’s good name–I would never take advantage of a woman that way. Ever. I really think your sister knows that.”

  “Prove it!” he shouts on his way out.

  “Trey, I am so sorry,” my building concierge says. “He insisted on waiting for you. I never thought he’d try to attack you.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “What was…” he speaks apprehensively. “What was he talking about?”

  “Nothing,” I say, taking off toward the elevators.

  The alarm on my p
hone goes off a few minutes after I get inside my apartment. Time to call Zaina. As much as I don’t feel like talking to her right now, it’s probably best that I do. Knowing she’ll be at home, I boot up my computer and surprise her with a video chat.

  “Tria!” she says as she sits in a darkened room in her apartment.

  “Hey, Zai. Wanna turn on a light?”

  “Sure, yeah. I wasn’t expecting this!” The warm light from the lamp to her left illuminates her cheerful face. “You’re home?”

  “Yeah,” I tell her with a sigh. “I am. I have some… personal stuff to deal with.”

  “Everything okay?”

  I glance up at the ceiling, trying to figure out the likelihood of news of what’s happened so far today reaching her. With many of our friends and her parents still living in Manhattan, chances are very high. “You’re probably going to hear this from Brinlee,” I say, referring to her best friend, “or your mom and dad–shit, maybe even Max, if he talks to Jon. You might as well hear it from me.”

  “What is it?”

  I go on to tell her first about the panic attack in the street, only I refer to it as an asthma attack. I already know that made the news since my parents were aware of it before I even made it to their house.

  “Strange that you would have one after all these years,” she says after making sure I’m okay.

  “Well, future doctor, maybe you can study up on it for me,” I suggest, trying to minimize the focus on what happened. The concierge buzzer interrupts us. “Hold on a sec, Zai.”

  She nods at me, and my whole body feels heavy as I drag it to the door. “Yes, Jerry?”

  “Um… sir, you may not want to come down for awhile.”

  “Why not?”

  “There are reporters and news crews all over the lobby and outside. We’re in the process of clearing them out.”

  “Why are they here?”

  “Someone apparently tipped them off to that… thing… that the guy said earlier. The question he asked you. You know the one?”

  “Please don’t repeat it,” I say, knowing Zaina can hear our conversation.

  “They want answers.”

  “Shit,” I whisper. “Thanks for the warning.” I return to my desk chair and look into the camera first, then down at the screen to see her expression.

  “What is going on?”

  I sigh and rub my eyes, hoping this is a nightmare I’ll wake up from. It’s still daylight. “Zaina, a girl I know was raped after formal.” She covers her mouth in absolute shock. “She apparently remembers saying goodbye to me, and then nothing until she woke up the next day.”

  “Oh, my God.”

  “She went to the dance with Asher.”

  “Where did she tell you goodbye? When?”

  “In the ballroom. I left before they did.”

  “You took a car home, though, right?”

  “Eventually, but first I went for a walk. Outside… back to campus.”

  “From the Carlyle?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “I told you I didn’t feel like staying at the hotel after all. I wanted a quiet night alone.”

  “Yes, but that doesn’t explain the incredibly odd, late-night meandering around the city. It certainly sounds suspect.”

  “Will you listen to me? This is going to sound… strange.” She blinks at me slowly, looking at me skeptically. “I went to see if Coley was studying at the coffee shop she normally goes to at night.” I maintain eye contact with her. “I thought it would be nice to let someone else stay in the room since it was paid for, and I wasn’t using it.”

  “It was Valentine’s Day, Trey.”

  “So?”

  “Who gives a girl a hotel room for Val– what happened?”

  “Nothing,” I maintain.

  “She didn’t take the room?” she asks.

  “She did.”

  “Where were your things?”

  “I had to go back and get them.”

  “You went together?”

  “Nothing happened, Zai.”

  “So you did.”

  “I had to show her where the place was… where the room was.”

  “You swear to God nothing happened?”

  “We’re friends, Zaina. That’s all.”

  She stares me down hard, trying to get me to admit something else to her. The thought crossed my mind; it did. I didn’t act on it. I’ve been faithful to you. In every action, Zai. In every word–up until one sentence that should never have been said today, I’ve been faithful to you in every word, too.

  But in my thoughts, I’ve cheated more times than I can count. It’s because of this that I know our break-up is imminent.

  Her harsh expression falters and breaks into worry. “Was she raped?”

  “Oh, no. No!”

  “Oh, thank God.”

  “It was Asher’s date, remember?”

  Zaina nods. “So you were with Coley for how long?”

  “Ten, maybe fifteen, minutes at the hotel. And then I went home.”

  “And no one can vouch for you?”

  “Dad says we have security footage that will prove I was here all night. But no one knows when it happened to her.”

  “Do you think it was Asher?”

  “I can’t imagine that he would ever do that.”

  “Tria,” she says, “remember what you told me that night after your back-to-school party at the beginning of the year?” I shake my head. “You said you were outside, and you caught him with a girl. Lucy, right? You thought you heard her saying no to him, but then she pretended everything was fine.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “That story never added up for me. If it was something she wanted, and he wanted, why didn’t they just go to his apartment in the first place if they wanted to hook up? After you caught them, why didn’t they just go inside and hang out together? Why did he leave alone? Why’d he kick over your water, like he was mad? Why did she so quickly go and find her girlfriends?”

  “I don’t know,” I say, having never given that moment another thought. “I honestly don’t know.”

  “She was your lab partner last year, wasn’t she?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You have her number?”

  “Sure.”

  “Do you think you could find a way to ask her what really happened that night?”

  “If he did something illegal, Zai, don’t you think she would have reported it?”

  “No, Tria. You and I have seen the statistics of rape on college campuses… how often they’re not reported, how often they’re reported and no one does a damn thing about them. Has your friend reported her rape?”

  “I… I don’t know, but I don’t think so.”

  “Don’t ever assume that a victim has. But you need to encourage your friend to, Trey, and you need to find out about Lucy.”

  “Asher’s my best friend, Zaina.”

  “That doesn’t mean he’s a good person.”

  “I’m a good judge of character, though.”

  “You didn’t pick him to be your friend. He singled you out. You even told me when you met him that he wasn’t like any other friend you’d ever had,” she says. “This isn’t about you or how well you can or can’t identify a person with good character. It’s about your friend first. The one who was raped.”

  “I know.”

  “So why are reporters there?”

  “Coley’s brother came by and essentially accused me of raping Pryana, our friend.”

  My girlfriend’s jaw drops. “That bitch and her brother need to stay the hell away from you.”

  “It’s not like that, Zai. Things are really messed up right–”

  “You stay away from her.”

  “You know I can’t do that. I’m her editor, and I have to be professional about this. Coley didn’t say it.” I leave out the part where she did actually insinuate it. I know her brother didn’t concoct that idea from thin air. “Everyon
e’s rightfully scared. There’s a rapist on campus and until someone has some clues, everyone is a suspect.”

  “You’re a fool if you keep her around. She sounds like trouble to me.” I wonder if she sees it in my eyes that I agree one-hundred percent with that second statement. Our eyes are locked for eight seconds. I count them.

  She’s trouble to my relationship to Zaina. She’s been a handful today, but I know in my heart this is temporary. I know in my heart she’s comfort and peace and happiness and liveliness. She’s been that every other day that I’ve known her as a friend.

  “I love you, Tria. Good luck.”

  “I love you, too, Zai. Bye.”

  My next call is to Coley. I expect to leave a message and am surprised when she actually answers.

  “Trey, I didn’t know he was going to go over there, and I had no idea he would say such a thing out loud.”

  “Very loudly,” I add.

  “He can’t hear himself,” she explains.

  “I understand, but I have a lobby overflowing with reporters and news crews who want to know who I raped.”

  “Trey? It’s Pryana.”

  “How are you?” I ask her. “I mean… I know… I don’t know, but… you don’t have to answer that. I just hate that this happened to you, Pree.”

  “I know you didn’t do it, Trey,” she says.

  “I’ll have proof of where I was all night, after I left Coley at the hotel.”

  “But I know. I know deep down. I’ve worked with you for a year and a half. You’re the perfect gentleman. Always. Coley’s just being protective. She knows you better than that, too.”

  “God, I hope she does.”

  “She told me you saw me and Asher going into The Wit offices. I didn’t remember being there, but after she said that, I do… I do remember a few things. Just flashes of things.”

  “Pryana, did you report this?” She’s silent. “You need to.”

  “And say what? I was so drunk that I passed out and don’t even know who I was with? What can be done?”

  “There’s no way you were just drunk unless you kept drinking after I left. You were okay when I left you. Happy, but fine. And you were walking into the offices on your own. You were leading the way, in fact. This has to be… more than alcohol. You need to go to the hospital. There are tests for these things, but I don’t know how long something like that stays in your system.” I hop on my computer and do a quick search for Rohypnol. “Sixty hours, it says. It’s possible a test could detect Rohypnol for up to sixty hours after ingestion.” I do another search for another drug I’ve heard of people using to put in drinks. “If it was GHB, it wouldn’t show.”