Forbidden

by Rachel Van Dyken

  "I knew we'd come to an understanding." He offered her a tight smile. "I'll expect your father to make the necessary arrangements for the broken betrothal contract?" He asked, even though his gaze strayed to the door as if impatiently waiting to leave.

  As if he couldn't stand to be in her presence a moment longer than necessary.

  "I'll speak with him directly," she said through clenched teeth. She fisted her palms tightly, already dreading the upcoming conversation with her parents. He nodded once and turned to leave.

  "And please, do remind your family that you will no longer be adding my dowry to your coffers," She called to him, knowing it was a bit low to mention money, but wanting that final reminder to at least wound him. Hurt was like that, wanting to infect others with its poison, needing a companion to wallow in misery. If she couldn't affect his heart, then by Jove, she would at least make his wallet pinch.

  He stiffened and his breath caught. Then, without a backward glance, he simply left.

  Which left her utterly and completely alone in more ways than one.

  Because rejection from someone unknown was far easier to accept than from someone who was familiar. Because if they didn't know you, there were always a million excuses for why so-and-so didn't ask for a dance, or whatever the situation might be.

  But when someone knows you, sees you often and who was accepted as friend and even a potential lover, rejects you…

  That changes everything.

  Because you no longer have the excuses.

  Because you begin to wonder, what is wrong with me?

  Essie sat back down on the lonely bench, listening to the summer crickets sing their familiar song. And while the temptation to wallow in self-pity was indeed strong, Essie refused.

  The slap of rejection still stinging, she turned to energies toward planning. Because the season had not ended yet.

  She had six weeks.

  And anything could happen in six weeks, couldn't it?

  CHAPTER ONE

  "Cross! I cannot believe you! How unfeeling can you be?" His sister's strident voice was enough to make his ears bleed. It wasn't as if he was trying to be insensitive; he was simply being honest!

  Blast it all!

  "She is surely brokenhearted, and all you can do is shrug and offer a few trite words?" His sister's blue eyes flashed at him as she placed her hands on her hips.

  He was tempted to tell her that she looked just like their mother.

  But thought better of it.

  Devon White, Viscount Crossby was irritated, but not that irritated.

  "Anna, I simply was trying to communicate that she's better off without the blackguard! How is that trite or unfeeling?" He threw up his hands and glared at his sister.

  She sighed, as if annoyed that she had to explain such a simple concept.

  Cross glanced heavenward, praying for patience in dealing with his hoyden of a sister.

  "You… never mind. Just when she comes over, keep your opinions to yourself, agreed?" She asked impatiently.

  "What gave you the impression that I'd be in the same room with you two? I certainly have better things to do than to sit around—"

  "You're her friend too! She needs us! How could you walk away—"

  "Easily! She's your friend!" Cross glanced to the door. He needed to make an exit.

  Now.

  Because the emotions he felt towards Essie were anything but friendly.

  Quite frankly, they were ferocious in a way he carefully controlled, tamed till they weren't detectable.

  But as always, he felt as if he were only barely concealing his borderline obsession, and one false move would expose the truth.

  And the truth was anything but safe, because Essie had never seen him as anything more than her best friend's brother.

  A friend.

  How he hated that word. Detested it.

  But it was better to be her friend than nothing at all. The fact that he hadn't ever pursued her was based on that very relationship. Because if she rejected him, he'd lose her completely.

  It wasn't worth the risk. And besides, she was still quite young.

  He hadn't expected her to become betrothed so quickly.

  So pardon him if the news of that very betrothal being broken didn't have him up in arms.

  He was doing his best not to cheer!

  "You've known her since you were in short pants!"

  "Indeed, poor girl hopefully forgot those memories," he teased, though his own voice sounded strangely hollow to his own ears.

  He didn't trust himself to be in the room with her broken heart, over another man, let alone witness her tears. He didn't trust himself to not react brashly.

  Like try to kiss away the pain from her heart.

  Replacing it with adoration from his own.

  "Please, Cross?" His sister changed tactics.

  Damn it all.

  "Anna…" He drew out her name as only an older brother can.

  "Cross," she mimicked, a small smile teasing her lips.

  "No. You will not attempt to manipulate me with those blue eyes. I'm immune to your charm, sister." He turned to leave. Determined in his mission of escape, but as fate—cruel beast that it was—would have it, Reginald, their family's butler, stepped into the room, effectively blocking the exit.

  "Miss Esther Flanguard to see you." His expression was unreadable, his tone dry.

  And like a summer breeze after a scorching day, Essie entered the room. Her blond hair gently twisted at the nape of her neck, a few tendrils loose and tempting him to test their softness.

  Cross swallowed and glanced away from the siren call of temptation. But, unable to resist the opportunity to watch her, memorize her further, he turned his attention to her once more.

  "Anna! I'm so happy to see you!" Essie cried as she approached her friend in a flurry of pale blue. Immediately grasping his sister's hand, he watched as her shoulders slumped ever so slightly, as if bearing a heavy burden. She tilted her head to the side, offering him a tantalizing view of her neck's graceful arch. Not for the first time, he wondered just how her butter-colored locks would appear when unbound, flowing through his fingers.

  Look but don't touch.

  So was the story of his life in regards to Essie. It was enough to drive a man mad, yet he soldiered on, stuck in purgatory. Heaven a breath away yet never within his grasp.

  "Essie, my heart was broken for you when I heard the news!" His sister's voice was laced with concern. Gently she released her friend's hand and gestured for them to sit on the nearby settee.

  "I was heartbroken, but no longer," Essie replied, as she sat. Then straightening her posture, she appeared a woman determined.

  Cross grinned. How like Essie! It was endearing, that stubborn determination. Because while other women would feel defeated, Essie would simply rise to the challenge. While other women giggled flirtatiously, she'd laugh delightedly. When other women would shift their opinions to accommodate the latest trend, Essie held fast to her own convictions. She was refreshing, candid and charismatic. In the colorless world of the ton, she was a vibrant shade of crimson, one you couldn't help but notice.

  "And to think, he asked you to cry off!" Anna was speaking.

  Cross turned his attention back to the chattering women. They hadn't even noticed his presence. Rather, his sister had forgotten about him and Essie hadn't noticed, but wasn't that always the case? Anna was much like Essie, a splash of color that called attention.

  While he was more like… Actually he wasn't quite sure. But he didn't possess the charismatic qualities that drew the eye. Oh, he was charming and well liked; however, he wasn't vibrant.

  But he wanted to be.

  It wasn't as if he were an utter fop. Rather even he was aware of his desired position as bachelor on the Marriage Mart. Yet Essie didn't seem to notice him like all the other ladies her age seemed to. He attributed that to his sister's earlier observation. Essie had simply grown up with him and never shif
ted her perspective of him from boy to man.

  It was bloody devastating. Especially when he readily had made the shift from noticing her as his little sister's playmate to a potential companion of his own.

  Though for entirely different reasons.

  He turned his attention back to their conversation.

  "I was shocked myself, but as I've had a day or two to cool off, I understand that it really was for the best." She shrugged her delicate shoulders. "Better to find out now what a nodcock he is, than to deal with him for the rest of my life!"

  Cross chuckled, entirely enchanted and utterly agreeing with her assessment.

  Essie and Anna both turned slightly startled gazes towards him. "Oh, Cross! I had quite forgotten you were there!" Anna replied, shaking her head and then dismissing him, turning once again to Essie.

  "Cross! You should have let me know you were standing there!" Essie scolded in a teasing manner. "No doubt your sister has told you the whole sordid tale."

  "Indeed, though to hear it from your lips is far more entertaining," Cross replied, striding towards them and taking a seat across from the settee.

  "Indeed…" She rolled her bright blue eyes.

  "But I must say I'm pleased that you appear no worse for the wear. My sister here was sure your heart would be shattered into a thousand fragmented pieces." He winked at Anna. After all, just because his heart was all tied up in knots didn't mean he had to act that way.

  Rather, it demanded that he act utterly natural. Which, upon further reflection, was probably exactly why Essie had never noticed him.

  He had never changed.

  He had treated both Essie and his sister the same since he could remember.

  Essie sighed. "I was quite hurt at first, but upon further reflection, I discovered something." She leaned forward slightly, a wide grin bending her lips, drawing his attention. Unable to help himself he allowed himself the freedom to gaze upon her freely, soaking up the beautiful expression and committing it to memory.

  "I'm on pins and needles," he replied teasingly, hoping his light tone counteracted his expression.

  "Who wouldn't be?" She teased back. "I discovered that my pride was hurt more than my heart. And that was a wonderful breakthrough. Because I'd much rather have my pride wounded. Don't you agree?"

  "Utterly. And if I might be frank?" He asked, raising his eyebrows as he posed the question.

  "Always." She shrugged.

  "He wasn't worth even one tear. If he cannot see your merit he doesn't deserve it." He nodded once and stood, needing to distance himself before he gave away too much.

  "Cross, what a kind thing to say," Essie replied, her tone soft and thoughtful.

  He turned to face her.

  "Simply the truth."

  "And to think, you were about to leave before Essie even arrived! See! I told you that your presence was needed!" Anna cut in, a grin splitting her face.

  "You were heading out? But Cross, I need you here! I have a plan and it absolutely will not work if you leave!" Essie stood and walked towards him.

  "There are two phrases that women used which tended to provoke absolute trepidation and suspicion in the male heart." He narrowed his eyes as Essie made her way towards him.

  "Dramatic," Anna called out.

  "Honest!" He replied, glancing around Essie and narrowing his eyes at his sister.

  "And just what are those two phrases, pray tell?" Essie asked, twisting her lips wryly.

  He cleared his throat. "'I have plans for you' and 'can we talk'." He nodded emphatically.

  "Very well." Essie grinned mischievously. "Would you be so inclined to participate in a series of events that I'm sincerely hoping you'll agree to partake?"

  "That was impressive," Anna said.

  Essie turned slightly so that she could see Anna. "I must admit I was quite thrilled with myself."

  "If we're all done congratulating Essie on her fantastic use of the English language to manipulate those around her…." He glared at her teasingly.

  "Admit it, I was brilliant."

  "You are brilliant," he replied easily.

  "Oh!" Essie appeared surprised.

  "I never once said it wasn't brilliant, I simply said it was manipulative." He rocked on his heels and gave her a grin.

  "I wasn't… Oh, very well… I was… but will you do it?" Essie asked, almost bouncing on her toes.

  "Do what? You haven't exactly told me the plan, though I truly do hate to ask." He ran his fingers through his hair.

  "It's easy. I need you to court me."

  He almost swallowed his tongue. "Pardon?"

  Essie rolled her eyes. "It's quite easy and will be painless, I promise. Once I lay out the particulars, you'll see that my plan is fool proof."

  "Minus the fool." Anna pointed to him.

  "Thank you, sister dear," Cross replied, glaring at his sister while he tried to wrap his mind around what Essie just proposed.

  "If your brother was a fool, I wouldn't have dreamed of asking him to do this!" Essie turned to Anna, hands on hips.

  As if acting of their own accord, his gaze dropped to her waist. What would it be like to place his hands at her waist and allow them the pleasure of tracing her perfect shape?

  He had to distract himself, now.

  Before his train of thought became… apparent.

  Essie turned. "Please?"

  He was too lost in his own thoughts, and his gaze, which had been resting on her hips, slowly traveled up her form till it met her eyes. He knew his gaze wasn't shuttered and if she were to look closely, she'd see desire burning within.

  She blinked, as if questioning what she saw.

  He quickly glanced away and took a deep breath. Turning to her once more, she was the one to glance away! And was that a faint tinge of rose coloring her cheeks?

  "What is the plan?" He asked, his tone not quite as controlled as he'd like.

  Her gaze shifted to his and any blush that may have been present disappeared as her face lit up.

  "I have to get myself engaged." She began to pace, gesturing with her hands in an animated way. "And with only six weeks till the end of the season, I need to be quick about it. After all, what do men want?" She spun to face him.

  "Is this a rhetorical question?" He asked, dubious.

  "No. I'm asking you."

  "Men want…." He could think of several things, but most of them couldn't be spoken of in front of a lady.

  "What they can't have!" Anna shouted and stood, startling Cross.

  "Good heavens, Anna!" He scolded.

  "Yes!" Essie pointed to Anna.

  "I'm failing to see the point." Cross lifted his hands in surrender.

  Essie walked back towards him, her hips slightly swaying as a delighted, victorious grin overtook her beautiful features. "Men want what they can't have… so I'm going to be unavailable. Because you." She poked him gently in the arm. "Are going to be courting me."

  "I am?" Cross asked, knowing it was a dangerous game he was considering playing.

  "Please?" Essie asked, and gone was the victorious smile, gone was the bravado. Rather, in its place was a woman simply needing help. The damsel in distress.

  And Cross had always wanted to be her knight.

  Here was his golden opportunity.

  He'd rescue her by playing the part he all too well knew how to play… but he was going in and playing for keeps.

  And he'd win the final hand, or die trying.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Surely it would work, wouldn't it?

  At the time, the idea had seemed so… instinctive. As if there were no other option available. Yet as Essie found herself in the crowded Luxberg ballroom, the cold finger of doubt sent shivers up her spine.

  Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders. After all, what was the worst that could happen? She had already been jilted—in a way. What could possibly be worse? Trighton, scoundrel that he was, had given her the perfect escape that maintained her
dignity. Of course that she had cried off had the ton gossips spinning with wild tales, but it was far better than being jilted. Less scandalous, less of a danger to her reputation. And with her attending the rout with Cross she'd simply allow the gossips to draw their own conclusions. Yes, she'd appear to be a woman unable to make up her mind, but that was better than being a woman unwanted. And she did have Cross' agreement to play along. So she wouldn't be alone. They'd pretend for a week or so, just enough to get talk started, but part ways before anyone could think of their attachment as serious. By then, she was sure that several gentlemen would be interested in her, Viola! It would be perfect.

  Or so she hoped.

  Her brow pinched as she gazed at the swirling dancers. How she had loved the idea of being engaged—for the short time it lasted. The knowledge that she was wanted, that she was 'taken'; it was delicious, heady and delightful. She acutely missed that feeling. But oddly, she was thrilled to know that while she missed the feeling, she didn't feel the same loss for the person to whom she had been engaged.

  Yet as wonderful as that feeling was, she was sure it didn't compare with the sensation of being in love. And she was most certainly not in love with Trighton. However she was in love with the idea of being someone's wife.

  Well, now she got the chance to have both.

  Which came back to the point she was trying to make with herself; the plan was going to work.

  Shaking her head, she walked along the edge of the dance floor, needing to talk with someone other than herself.

  Anna was sure to arrive any moment, along with Cross. As if her thoughts had conjured them up, she caught a glance of the dark raven hair for which Anna was renowned. A beauty and fantastically wealthy, she had the luxury of turning down suitors, but Essie didn't begrudge her friend; she loved her far too much for there to be room for such a petty emotion.

  Anna glanced in her direction and grinned widely. Making her way towards her friend, Anna drew the attention of several young men, all watching her movements with rapt attention.