Illegal Motion: Boys of Fall

by Erin Nicholas

  Because, while he hadn’t had sexual feelings for Garrett, Carter had loved him. It had been more than a friendship. That’s why he’d always called it a brotherly love. But he could admit that wasn’t the perfect label either. He hadn’t wanted to fuck Garrett, but he’d loved every second of having Garrett there when he’d been with Lacey, and he’d felt something he couldn’t imagine would have been there with any other guy.

  He’d had threesomes. Once had been with two girls, twice with another guy—one of which had been with Garrett—but the girl had always been in between.

  And it still hadn’t felt like it had with Lacey.

  Where the girl had been between them before, with Lacey it had felt as if she was connecting them.

  Carter also knew that he would have never been able to share Lacey with anyone else.

  So, yeah, he was messed up over a guy. A man who had been so much more than a friend and who was now gone. Forever.

  “Garrett would want us together, Carter,” she said. “He would want us to both laugh and love again, live our lives, find happiness—and he would have loved it to be with each other.”

  She was right. Carter felt it like a punch to the gut. She was absolutely right. Garrett would have chosen this if he’d known he’d be gone. If he’d had cancer or some other damned thing where he’d known he didn’t have all the time in the world, he would have been on the phone nagging and begging Carter to take care of Lacey.

  But that was the problem. The only way for Carter to really take care of Lacey was with Garrett. Garrett been the husband-and-father guy. He’d been the romantic, fun-loving, pamper-her-and-whisk-her-off-her-feet guy. He’d been the things Carter wasn’t.

  Carter could love her.

  He just wasn’t sure he could—or should even try to—give her everything she needed and wanted. Not without Garrett. They’d been a good team. Garrett would have made her laugh, Carter would have held her when she cried. Garrett would have brought the roses and candles to the bedroom, Carter would have brought the blindfolds and silk ties. Garrett would have planned spontaneous surprises and written love notes, Carter would have taken her face in his hands, stared directly into her eyes and told her that he needed her. Garrett had been the light, fun, goofy one. Carter was the darker, serious, intense one. Lacey deserved both. But if she had to have only one, he’d figured the sweet do-gooder would have been best with Garrett.

  Carter had felt okay about that part of disappearing from their lives.

  What he’d been missing had kept him awake at night, but he’d never felt it was wrong to leave Lacey with Garrett.

  And now…she couldn’t have only the dark intensity he brought. She needed the light, the fun too. Besides, Garrett had been the one who would have picked up the pieces Carter dropped, would have fixed the things Carter messed up.

  What the fuck did he know about strong, positive relationships? He didn’t even bother getting close to his father’s wives anymore because they were gone so quickly and when they were gone, they were gone, completely out of their lives. Carter himself had fucked up the most positive relationship he’d ever been in.

  So, he couldn’t make Lacey any promises. He couldn’t commit to anything. But he also wasn’t strong enough to send her away. When she left, he’d let her. He’d remind himself it was a good thing. And until then he just had to be honest with her.

  “You don’t know how much I want to be what you need,” he finally said.

  There was a long pause and Carter knew that wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear. But Lacey was the most forgiving, loving person he’d ever met. Thank God she extended that to him.

  “Well, how about we take one thing at a time?” she asked, running her hand up his arm to his shoulder. She pulled herself forward, sliding into his lap, letting the sheet fall away from her as she moved. “And right now I would really love a good, hard orgasm. If you don’t mind.”

  Carter’s body hadn’t fully cooled, even with the talk about his dead best friend—something he’d maybe feel guilty about later. He was immediately ready to go.

  “Orgasms I can do.” He put his lips against hers. “Multiple.”

  He felt the little shiver of pleasure go through her and couldn’t keep from kissing her. He put his hands flat on her back, pressing her close, letting her feel how hard he was for her. He opened his mouth on hers and felt her sigh. Their tongues stroked as he ran his hands up and down her back. Her hands cupped the back of his head, her fingers in his hair again. She was holding him tight and that was what sent the shiver of desire through him.

  Well, that and her hot pussy against his cock.

  The night he’d had her, the one night that felt like a lifetime and a dream at the same time, Carter had given her two orgasms and then Garrett had given her one. Her coming apart, again and again, had been the hottest, most satisfying thing he’d ever seen, heard and felt.

  Now he had her to himself.

  Sharing her with Garrett had felt right, but having her here, with him, just the two of them…he wanted every inch, every sigh, every moan, all of her…to be all his. Maybe it was because Garrett was gone and that was not an option. Maybe it was what Carter would have always wanted, even if Garrett had been there. Maybe it would have eventually come between them. He didn’t know, and these were only a few of the things that had been in his head, bugging him, for a fucking year.

  But now, she was all Carter’s. For better or worse, he couldn’t not possess her in every way he knew how.

  “I want to taste you,” he said against her mouth.

  He’d been between her legs, on his knees, her on the end of the bed last time. Now he wanted her riding his mouth.

  “Yes, God, Carter,” she gasped.

  She started to slide out of his lap, but he gripped her hips. “Like this, Lace.” He lay back, urging her up his body.

  “Holy crap,” she said on a breath he almost couldn’t hear.

  “Knees by my ears, babe.”

  Chapter Four

  Lacey thought she was going to burn up.

  There had always been something about Carter that instantly made her panties wet. When she’d met him and Garrett, she remember looking up at Garrett and smiling and then looking at Carter and catching her breath. That was the perfect way to describe the difference between the two men. Garrett had given off a life-of-the-party vibe. Carter had given off a get-naked-right-now vibe. She would look back on an evening with them and she’d feel floaty and happy when she thought of Garrett. When she thought of Carter, she’d feel her body clench and she’d have to stifle a moan. Both feelings were strong. The memory of both men would stay with her. But the difference in how they made her feel was distinct.

  She’d known plenty of good-looking, flirty guys, but good-looking and sexy were not the same thing. And she’d never describe Carter with a fun word like flirty. He was…sexy. That was all there was to it. She supposed she could have described some of their interactions as flirting. Technically. They’d teased, they’d laughed, they’d said inappropriately naughty things to each other that they’d only kind of meant. Or that they’d completely meant but hadn’t expected to act on. But with Carter it didn’t feel light and silly. It always felt as if there was a serious, underlying…threat.

  It was liking poking a bear.

  A patient bear who was a good friend and had a long fuse maybe. But she’d always wondered what it would be like when she got to the end of that fuse. And she’d kept poking.

  Now they were there. Even the night with Garrett had felt like Carter was holding something back.

  Not so right now.

  His fingers dug into her hips as he moved her over his mouth. Thankfully. She wasn’t sure she could have moved on her own. Her bones felt like they were made of molten lava.

  Her panties were still on, but that didn’t stop Carter from pressing her against his mouth. Even that much pressure against her needy clit was enough to rip a moan from her throat. She let her
head fall back and put her hands on his, seeking a way of anchoring herself to him.

  Not that he gave any indication he was moving away anytime soon.

  He took a long, deep breath and even as her cheeks burned, she felt herself grow wetter with the intimacy of it.

  “Goddamn, you smell so fucking good,” he muttered. “I could stay here for a week.”

  She pressed her fingers into his hands. “Need your tongue, Carter.”

  He groaned against her, vibrating her clit and making her grip his hands even harder.

  Wow, she hadn’t meant to say that. Or she had, but not out loud.

  The night they’d been together, she’d been very much on the receiving end of all the pleasure from both men and, she supposed, had been kind of stunned throughout the whole thing that it was even happening. She’d been a little fuzzy from the margarita at dinner and the two shots at the club and she’d realized later that they had encouraged those so she’d be more relaxed. But they’d also cut her off at the club. She remembered that too. She’d wanted another shot and they’d both protested at the same time. Later she would understand it was about keeping her coherent enough to say no, if she’d been so inclined, and to enjoy if she didn’t say no.

  She most definitely hadn’t said no.

  But then she’d very much let them take the lead.

  Tonight she intended to participate.

  She loved sex. She talked dirty. She was fine with asking for what she wanted. She and Garrett had enjoyed a very fulfilling sex life.

  But she sensed with Carter it was going to go beyond all of that. She might feel guilty about that later, but in the moment, right now, with Carter’s mouth separated from her aching pussy by only thin silk, she was completely committed to this moment and this man.

  She also had a feeling she was going to—and totally could—say things to Carter she hadn’t to Garrett. Not because she would have shocked the other man, but because there were things she wanted from Carter that hadn’t occurred to her before.

  “I love these panties,” he said. “But they’re in my way right now. If you want them in one piece, you better move ’em over.”

  Lacey moved her hand right away.

  She didn’t really care if they stayed in one piece. She’d bought them for this night and they were getting exactly the reaction she’d hoped for, but it was hot to think about moving them out of the way for his mouth. Like she would be fully participating in the dirty act of him tonguing her to orgasm.

  She pulled the panties to the side, exposing herself to him.

  He groaned again and his grip didn’t just tighten on her, he pulled her down against his face firmly.

  His tongue met her clit in a long, hard lick that sent sparks of heat and want shooting through her body. Her nipples tightened almost painfully and she throbbed deep in her pelvis.

  He licked several times, his tongue rough against her, winding her tighter and tighter, the cluster of nerve endings growing more and more sensitive. But as she was approaching the summit, he moved her, dragging his tongue lower. He licked at her opening and she couldn’t gather one ounce of embarrassment over how wet she was.

  “Yes, God, Lace, I love how you want this,” he said gruffly against her.

  “Yes. More.” She simply couldn’t come up with any words beyond those.

  “Grind against me,” he commanded huskily.

  It was like her body was programmed to obey him and she immediately rocked against his mouth.

  His tongue dove inside her and she cried out.

  He kept at her like that for several strokes, then moved her again before she could get too close to the edge.

  He shifted to get a hand between them, sliding two fingers into her as he returned to her clit.

  She whimpered as need coursed through her. Falling forward slightly, she grasped his headboard, putting more pressure against her clit.

  “Suck on me,” she begged him. “Please.”

  “Fuck yes. Open up for me.”

  She started to react, but realized that her hand on the headboard was holding her in the perfect position and her other hand was still holding her panties out of the way. “I can’t. I—”

  With a low growl, his hands went to the seam along the side of the panties, yanking hard and ripping them off. His fingers pressed back inside her immediately and she cried out with how good the rough thrust felt against her sensitive, swollen tissues. Reacting without true thought, she reached between her legs and with two fingers, spread herself open for him.

  “So good,” was all she heard as he brought her down against his mouth again. He licked once, long and firm, then fastened his lips on her clit. He gave her one quick second to take a breath, and then sucked.

  Her hips ground into him of their own accord and Lacey cried out his name as an orgasm slammed into her.

  She was just pulling in a huge lungful of needed oxygen when Carter flipped her to her back.

  “Condom?”

  Lacey knew he wasn’t asking if she had one, he was asking if he needed to use one. She’d been with only Garrett for over a year, except for the night with Carter, and she was on the pill for pregnancy.

  “Not for me,” she said. “You?”

  “Clean.”

  “Good.”

  He gave her a funny look that flipped her heart for a reason she didn’t understand. “I always use a condom, Lace.”

  “Oh, well, then—”

  “But I don’t want anything between us.”

  God, she didn’t either, and she wasn’t talking about a piece of latex. She didn’t want the past, the regrets, even Garrett’s ghost between them. Again, that might be something she needed to think more about, and feel bad about later, but right now all she wanted was Carter. All of him. Just him.

  She didn’t know what all was going through Carter’s mind and heart. She’d never met a man better at hiding his thoughts and feelings, and that was saying something—she’d grown up with a grandfather with clinical depression and now worked for a nonprofit mental health facility. Not that Carter had a mental illness. In fact, he had such a tight hold on his emotions that she imagined his heart had white knuckles.

  But she knew there was something about her being here for him, with him, with just him. She knew that Garrett’s proposal of a long-term threesome between then had thrown Carter. Maybe slightly less than Garrett’s declaration of love, but she knew Carter well enough to know that, while a committed ménage might not make sense to him, it was sharing her that he’d been most conflicted about.

  He’d loved Garrett. He’d believed Garrett was best for her. He’d been unable to resist the one night because she had wanted it. But that night had broken down the wall of denial, or whatever it was, that he’d built up around the situation. Of course he’d known that she and Garrett had sex, but he’d been able to push that away and ignore it. Until that night. That night when they’d all three been together. When Carter had seen it.

  Strangely, and as guilty as she’d felt even to this day, she’d felt like Garrett had been the third one there that night. She and Carter had connected so powerfully, so deeply, that sex had never been the same between her and Garrett again after that.

  She sensed that Carter had expected that to happen. She’d felt their connection from the beginning and she knew Carter had too. Which was why he’d been so quick to push her into Garrett’s arms. Because if things had gone anywhere with her and Carter, she wouldn’t have given Garrett a chance. And Carter truly felt as if Garrett was the better man.

  Which was crap. Garrett was a different man from Carter but not better. Still, Garrett had definitely captured her heart when she’d given him a chance after realizing Carter was taking himself out of the running.

  She would have married Garrett. She would have been happy with Garrett. But something—or someone—would have always been missing.

  But this wasn’t the time to tell Carter that.

  Now was the time to re
mind him of the most important part of this night.

  Lacey needed him to know that she was here because she needed him. She truly was his.

  If her heart had been torn in two, and the two halves separated a year ago, it had been completely obliterated when the one part she’d been able to keep had died six months ago. She was here to reclaim the other part. She was here to fight for the love that she needed…and deserved.

  She’d always been the good girl, the giver, the one to think of and do for others.

  She’d let Garrett and Carter decide how things would go when they’d both met her at the same time. She’d let Carter keep his distance. She’d let him pull away after their night together.

  But no more.

  He was all she had left and she was not going through the rest of her life without having what he could give her. Whether he believed he could give it to her or not. Life was short and she did not want to leave this earth with any further regrets.

  “I’m yours, Carter, however you want me,” she said, choosing the words carefully. “I’ll do anything for you.” She meant it. There was nothing he could ask her for or demand from her that she wouldn’t gladly give. She wrapped her arms around his neck and put her lips against his neck. “It’s just you and me.”

  The groan he gave seemed to come from deep in his gut and he covered her mouth with his. The kiss was hungry and all consuming. Lacey was quickly squirming under him, seeking more. She needed him to fill her up and ease the ache—in her body and her heart.

  “Take me,” she whispered, using words she knew would get through any guilt or hesitation, any sense he had of protecting her. “Make me yours.”

  Those seemed to do the trick. He ripped his mouth from hers and pushed back onto his knees. He yanked his fly open, shoving his pants down only as far as necessary to free his cock.

  “I don’t want to hurt you, Lace,” he said gruffly, reaching and turning her to her side.

  “You won’t. You can’t. I want you so much, Carter.” She tried to roll back, but he pinned her in position, spooning her with his big body and a strong arm around her waist.