All That's Left

by Doherty, Emma

  I shake my head and push thoughts of him away.

  No. No way.

  No way am I thinking about Finn Sullivan. Not at all. No way am I letting myself develop a stupid crush on him just because he seems to see past the girl everyone else sees and has eyes you can get lost in.

  No. I’m just not going to do it.

  I pull myself together and head back to my table, purposely going a longer way so I’m absolutely nowhere near Finn’s table. Pippa smiles as I return to my seat.

  “Would you maybe want to come over to my house to study one night this week?”

  I takes me a second to realise Pippa’s words are directed at me, and I push away thoughts of Finn.

  “Sorry, what did you say?”

  She frowns, looking concerned. “Just wondered if you wanted to come study sometime this week? We have calculus together and we both have chemistry with Potts, just at a different time. Paul is coming too, and I’ll get snacks.”

  “Uh, sure,” I say, and she beams at my response. I think she really wants us to be friends. She shouldn’t, and she wouldn’t if she knew the way I treated my old friends, especially Kristen. I’m not worth having as a friend. I can’t even think about the friends I had back home and the way I treated them after I found out about my mother’s diagnosis. I’m too ashamed.

  I look over at Paul, whose eyes dart away from me. Despite him giving me a lift to and from school on most days, he still can’t look me in the eye. He’s so, so shy, but I’ve decided he’s really sweet. He sometimes brings me a coffee in the morning, and it’s not one he’s bought on the way to me but one he’s packed in a thermos flask and has made the effort to keep warm for me. “I can drive you,” he tells me, and I smile at him gratefully.

  Marcus has started teaching me how to drive, and whilst I’m certainly not a natural, I’m getting there. It helps that I don’t have to learn on a manual like I would in the UK. At first I insisted on that, figuring I’d need it for when I got back home, but as soon as I learnt how hard it was, I happily switched to automatic. I’m hoping another month of lessons will mean I can take my test and then I won’t be the only seventeen-year-old in Texas who can’t drive.

  A silence falls over the table, Pippa’s eyes immediately fall to her lap along with those of half the girls around her, and I look up to see Evie and her friend Lila stood behind me. I don’t miss the way everyone else at the table is avoiding eye contact with them.

  I’m not sure I’m going to have much patience with this considering how I’m feeling today. “Yes?”

  Lila shifts on her feet, not quite able to cover her scowl at my opening, but Evie paints a bright smile on her face. “Hey, Izzy.”

  I look back at her, waiting to see what she wants.

  “So, um, I just wanted to let you know about the annual fundraiser we’re putting on with the football team in a few weeks. We’re having a carwash and a barbecue.”

  I wait for her to get to her point.

  “We wanted to see if you want to join us,” Evie explains. “I know it’s still a few weeks away, but we know how busy you are and just wanted to lock you down.”

  “What were you just talking to Finn about?” Lila blurts out, like she can’t keep the question in any longer. “I saw you talking by the water dispenser.”

  She does not look impressed, and my mind flashes back to my tour of the school and Pippa telling me she and Finn used to date.

  “Nothing. Just getting water.”

  “It looked intense,” Lila bites out.

  It felt intense. I had no idea anyone was watching, but then it involves Finn, and he’s a big deal in this place. I guess I should have thought of that.

  “Ask him.” Her jaw tenses, and I know she won’t. I don’t have a clue about what’s going on between them, but I get the distinct impression it’s one-sided, especially after that conversation I just had with him. He certainly didn’t seem to be pining after Lila.

  “Anyway, back to the fundraiser,” Evie says, flashing a pointed look at Lila. Clearly she’s trying to use this as a way to bond with her boyfriend’s sister rather than start an argument. “You have to come, and of course you have to come to the party I’m having at my place after,” she adds. “It would be awesome to have you.” She pauses, expecting a response from me. When I don’t say anything after a couple of minutes, she continues with, “So what do you think?”

  “What’s the fundraiser for?”

  That stumps them. Clearly they haven’t thought that far ahead.

  “Um, well I think the team might need some—”

  “The team don’t need anything,” I interrupt her. “They have a stadium that is ridiculously big as it is, and if they do need new uniforms or equipment, my dad will foot the bill.”

  “Well, it hasn’t been decided yet what the money will be spent on.”

  Lila shifts on her feet. “The cheerleading squad has a yearly retreat to relax, which we sometime—”

  “Who decides?”

  I can see Evie’s jaw getting tense; clearly she wasn’t expecting me to take quite such an interest in this. “Who decides what?”

  “Where the money goes?”

  “Usually it’s me and the captain of the football team, and then it gets signed off on by Principal Robertson.”

  “And who’s the captain of the football team?”

  “Ethan,” Evie bites out. She knows perfectly well I know it’s Ethan.

  My eyes dart around the table and they land on Rachel. She’s been pointedly ignoring me all lunch since I rejected her offer to join the math club, but she has been arranging with everyone else about how they’re going to get to their next competition and how they need to pool resources to pay for their petrol. “Hey, Rachel, weren’t you telling me about your maths competition coming up in a couple of weeks?”

  Her eyes widen as I drag her into it, and she bites down on her lip. She might be ballsy as hell with me and everyone else around the table, but I have the feeling that doesn’t extend to Evie and Lila.

  “Weren’t you trying to figure out who could drive because the school doesn’t provide transport?”

  She swallows. I bet she thought I wasn’t paying attention to that conversation.

  “So maybe the fundraiser could go towards transport for the clubs in this school who don’t get any help just because they’re not throwing a ball around a field?’”

  I swear I hear someone suck in a breath next to me.

  “Oh for God’s sake,” Lila snaps. “We only came over here to invite you to hang out with us.”

  “Well that’s a hard no.” If they think I don’t notice the way they treat the girls in this school then they’re delusional.

  Lila sends me a dirty look and grabs Evie’s arm to turn her away.

  “What do you think, Evie?” I ask her. “Give the money raised to some of the smaller clubs and help them out rather than giving yourselves a little holiday?”

  Her entire face tenses, despite her best efforts to keep it neutral. “Of course we’ll consider it. I’ll have to make sure I discuss it with Ethan.”

  “Oh, I can tell Ethan,” I say nonchalantly, fiddling with my nails. “I don’t know if you heard, but we live together. I can ask him when I get home tonight.” I raise my head. “Or we can go ask him right now if you want?”

  Evie just glares back at me, her hands tightening into fists. She’s pissed. She’s so pissed that in her mind she’s being nice by trying to offer me a spot as her friend in the social elite and I’m throwing it back in her face, but what she doesn’t know is that I’ve been watching her a lot more closely than she thinks. I’ve seen the way everyone but her friends shies away from her, moving out of her way and avoiding her at all costs. I’ve even seen the way she makes some of her friends off the cheerleading squad feel small with her little jibes and comments, which look light-hearted but have a deeper, nastier meaning. I know the only time she’s truly nice (or as nice as she can pretend to be) is whe
n Ethan or any of his friends are around, because she’s obviously managed to fool him into thinking she’s a decent person.

  “Shall I go ask him, Evie?” My eyes fall behind her, towards her usual table where Ethan’s sat looking over at us, obviously wondering what his girlfriend and I have to talk about. I know he’s still pissed off with me due to our argument after being at our grandparents’ house, but if it’ll shut Evie up, I’ll still approach him.

  “Fine,” she snaps. “They can have the money that’s raised, but they better show up to help wash those cars.”

  I shrug and look over at Rachel, who nods her head manically. I turn back to Evie and plaster on my fakest smile, mimicking the one I’ve seen her use on countless people over the last couple of weeks. “I guess you’ll see them there.”

  “Yoohoo.”

  I stop abruptly as someone steps right into my path on my way down the main hall at school. I look up, and the first thing I see is boobs—massive boobs. My eyes move up, and I come face to face with a woman with peroxide blonde hair, blue eye shadow, fake eyelashes, and bright red lipstick. She smiles at me, flashing beaming white teeth, and I have to take a step back. She’s kind of blinding.

  “Are you Izzy Kavanagh?” Her Texas twang is one of the strongest I’ve heard.

  I glance around, but she’s staring directly at me. “Um, yeah.”

  I get another flash of her pearly whites and she steps closer. “Well, I feel like I should ask for an autograph or something. You’re a hard woman to track down!”

  I gaze back at her and don’t move as she steps to my side, wraps one arm around my shoulders, and turns me away from the exit.

  “Now, honey, I know you weren’t just about to leave school for the day.”

  I turn my head to look at her, completely confused. I’ve never seen this woman in my life—I’d definitely remember if I had. She’s not the kind of person you forget.

  “Sorry,” I say, trying to get her attention as she walks me down the hall. “Who are you?”

  She lets out a high-pitched giggle and her boobs jiggle in front of me as she stop and turns to face me in the hall. “Aw, sweetie, I’m sorry. Where are my manners? I’m Ms. Joot. I’m the school guidance counsellor.”

  My brows furrow in confusion. The name does ring a bell, but I have no idea what she’d want with me. She smirks at my expression, puts her arm around me again, and leads me farther down the corridor. “You don’t recognise my name? Honey, I’ve been sending you messages for weeks to try to arrange a meeting.”

  “Oh.” Right, yeah. I remember her now.

  “Oh is exactly right, sugar.” She stops and looks at me. “Now why would I possibly want to arrange a meeting with you?”

  I shrug my shoulders, feigning innocence. I have a pretty good idea of why she’d want to meet with me.

  She grins. She knows I know. “Maybe it’s because you ain’t been going to all your classes?”

  “I go to class.”

  “Oh sweetie, I know you go to some of your classes.”

  “Is there anything wrong with the grades I get?” My grades are stellar and we both know it.

  “Of course not. You’re top of the class in calculus, English, and all the sciences, just about every class you go to. I hear you don’t ever participate in class, but your written work more than makes up for that. When the geek squad finds out you’ve waltzed in and shown them up when the rankings come out, there are going to be fireworks.”

  My jaw hangs open. Did she just call them the geek squad?

  She winks at me and I pull myself together.

  “So what’s the problem then? My grades are good.”

  “The problem is that you haven’t been to art, gym, French, or debate since you got here.”

  My jaw tenses. “There’s no point. As soon as this year is over, I’m going back to the UK to study maths at uni. I don’t need those subjects.”

  Her face sets. “While you’re in this school, you have to attend your full schedule.”

  “Look, I’m British,” I tell her, like she couldn’t tell from my accent. “Right now I should be doing my A levels. That’s when you just focus on four subjects you need to get into uni. There’s no point in me doing art or history or any of the others. I won’t use it, and I already did it at GCSE.”

  She stares at me blankly.

  “GCSEs are the end-of-school exams you do when you’re sixteen and finish school in the UK,” I explain.

  “Sweetie, you’re not in the UK now.”

  Yeah, like I hadn’t noticed that.

  “I’ve already finished those subjects back home.”

  “That’s not the point.”

  “I’m going back to the UK as soon as I turn 18.”

  “And when will that be?”

  She’s got me. I don’t turn 18 until after graduation. “July 17th,” I mutter.

  “Sweetie, while you’re at this school, you’re gonna attend all of your classes, and I’m gonna make sure of it.”

  She sounds like she’s serious. I try to think how I can change this. “My father—”

  “Your father is one of the richest men in Texas, as I am well aware, and I know your grandfather is a big contributor to this school. I know you have money on your side, babe, but it doesn’t change anything, not with me. You are gonna start going to all your classes.”

  Despite me actually believing her and appreciating that, unlike some of the other teachers in this place, money won’t sway her, I can’t help glaring back at her with what she’s telling me to do. I am mortified to feel tears well in my eyes, and I quickly blink them away. I hate that I don’t have control over anything, absolutely nothing, not even which classes I go to.

  Her face softens. “I read your transcript, and I know how tough you’ve had it over the last year. I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through, and then to come here and have Ethan Carlington as your twin and Greyson Carlington as your daddy? That’s not the normal life of a seventeen-year-old and I know it must be difficult, but this is the way it’s gonna be.”

  I look away from her, trying to pull myself together.

  “Fine,” I eventually bite out. “Starting tomorrow, I’ll stick to my timetable.”

  I turn to walk away before she can say anything else, but she latches onto my arm and pulls me back. “Nice try, sugar. You’re supposed to be in gym.”

  “It’s already started.”

  She glances down at her watch. “It’s a double class, and they’re only 10 minutes in. They’ll have only done a warm-up.”

  “Well, I don’t have my gym kit,” I point out irritably. I’m not sure I even own a gym kit.

  “Can you believe I thought of that?” she asks. She looks so damn pleased with herself. “I have one for you.”

  “I’m not wearing anyone else’s clothes.”

  “They’re brand new, sweetie. I just emailed your dad’s assistant and she had them delivered this morning.”

  My jaw falls open. “You emailed Casey?”

  “Of course. Everyone knows if we need to speak to someone about Ethan, we contact Casey.”

  That is unbelievable. If anyone has a problem with me or my brother, they go to our dad’s assistant rather than our dad. That just about sums it up.

  She glances down at her watch. “Come on, let’s not waste any more time.” Before I have a chance to say anything else to her, she pulls me into the changing rooms—which I didn’t even realise we were standing next to—and leads me over to some benches, disappears for a minute, and returns with a pile of clothes: a gym t-shirt, shorts, and a pair of trainers. She even has socks for me to put on with the trainers. I glance at her in irritation, but she merely cocks an eyebrow and tells me to hurry up.

  I change quickly, aware that she’s not going to give in, and she’s soon marching me out of the changing rooms, out of the school, and over to some back fields I haven’t seen since my first day when Pippa gave me the grand tour. There’s a big group of
students stood around listening to a teacher at the front.

  “Hey, Mr. Michaels!” I cringe at how loud her voice is. “Yoohoo!”

  He turns to look at us, along with most of the students, and there’s got to be at least thirty kids here, boys and girls. I didn’t realise P.E. was mixed.

  The teacher positively beams at her, and I’m not surprised—she demands your attention, and she’s a smoking hot Southern dream. It’d be hard not to be bowled over.

  She stands just in front of him and pushes me forwards slightly, finally letting go of my arm.

  “I’m delivering Izzy Kavanagh to you,” she announces, much to my mortification, as she winks at him flirtatiously. He doesn’t even look at me, too intent on ogling her in all her glory. “You won’t recognise her because she’s never been to any of your classes, even though she moved here over a month ago.”

  I don’t look at her. I get it—she’s not happy that I’ve been skiving.

  She nudges me in the side. “Hey, honey, look! Your brother’s in this class too.” I look at where she’s indicating and see Ethan scowling over at me, Finn by his side. “I hear you two get along real well.” She chuckles, and this time I do send her a death glare. She doesn’t care one bit. “Well, I’ll leave you to it.” She looks back at me. “Oh, and Mr. Michaels and every other teacher is going to be reporting back to me on your attendance, so don’t think you can slip back into your old ways.”

  “What?”

  She grins. “You didn’t think I’d just trust that our little chat would work and you’d suddenly become a model student, did you?”

  I gape at her. She’s blatantly telling me and everyone who’s listening that she doesn’t trust me.

  “Every single one of your teachers is gonna report your attendance back to me, and if it falls below 95%, you ain’t gonna graduate.”

  My heart slams in my throat. “You cannot be serious,” I tell her, stepping towards her. I have to graduate. It’s one of the conditions of my trust fund.

  “As a heart attack.” She turns to leave. “Now enjoy your gym class—I got other things to do.” Then she turns and walks away, leaving me and I’m sure everyone else gaping after her.