An Indecent Longing

by Stephanie Julian

  Her lips softened until, finally, she grinned. “Do women throw their underwear at you when you smile at them like that?”

  “No, but feel free to start.”

  She shook her head, but continued to smile. “You don’t have to wait for me.”

  “I want to. Let me.”

  After a few seconds, she nodded and it was his turn to smile. “Okay.”

  He didn’t say anything else, didn’t want to chance her changing her mind.

  The building security guard, different than the night before, gave him the once-over before greeting Dorrie with a quiet, “Night, Ms. Haverstick.”

  She acknowledged his greeting with a nod, but her hand clenched on his for a split second. And when they got to the elevator, Ben took a second look at the guard.

  Nothing stood out about the guy and maybe he was reading too much into something that meant nothing. But he got paid to notice everything so he’d stick this guy’s face in a mental file and go back to focusing on Dorrie.

  “So how is Blank? I thought you said he was doing well.”

  Waving a keycard in front of the reader then punching the floor button, she ran her hands over her hair, smoothing the strands as if she thought they were out of place.

  “He’s doing fine but…I still need to check on him.”

  Because that’s the kind of person she was. Unwilling to simply let someone tell her everything was okay. No, she had to check for herself.

  She and Ian had a hell of a lot in common.

  “He going stir-crazy?”

  “Of course.”

  “Guys like him don’t handle forced confinement well. Or at all”

  “Guys who were in the service with you?”

  “Yeah. But Blank’s never been in the service, has he?”

  “No. He’s actually a former cop.” She looked over at him. “Does that surprise you?”

  It did, considering who she worked for. “A little, yeah. So you want to tell me why you don’t like the front desk guard?”

  Now she looked at him with wide eyes. “Why do you say that?”

  “Just a hunch.”

  The elevator dinged and the door opened on her floor, but she didn’t move right away. “He just makes me uncomfortable. I’m probably seeing something that’s not there—”

  “Never doubt your gut with this kind of stuff.” Stepping out of the elevator, he couldn’t help but case the dark hallway. “Better safe than sorry.”

  When he turned back, he saw her shaking her head, a bemused grin on her face.

  “What?”

  “Are you always on the lookout for danger?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  With a shake of her head, she followed him out into the hall and headed for the door to her office suite, only a few steps away.

  “Are you ever afraid of anything?”

  “Fear is what keeps you alive. You just can’t let it rule you.”

  “Sounds exhausting. I don’t want to be scared all the time. I just want to live.”

  “And are you? Scared all the time, I mean.”

  Unlocking the door, she pushed through and held it open for him then locked it again.

  “Sometimes.” She waved at the chairs in the lobby. “It shouldn’t take me long. I just want to make sure he’s comfortable.”

  Ben stopped, knowing she wanted him to wait for her out here. He wondered if that was because she didn’t want Blank to know he was here. Which didn’t make much sense because she’d told him there was nothing going on between her and her bodyguard.

  Or maybe she didn’t want it getting back to her secret benefactor.

  Taking a seat, he took another look around her office, taking note of things he hadn’t the other night. Like the quality of the chairs and couches, the richness of the wood trim and hardwood floors, and the overall understated elegance of the room. Even the curtains at the windows looked like real silk.

  Antonoff had spared no expense when he’d set her up here.

  Not for the first time Ben wondered what the hell Antonoff had on her that made her willingly work for him. Was it just the money? If it was, how the hell did Antonoff get his claws into her in the first place?

  Tomorrow, he needed to do a little more investigating on Dorrie’s background. Tonight, he wanted to be in her bed. Actually, he wished she’d stayed at his and Ian’s house tonight but they’d work on that.

  Christ, Ian was going to need a hell of a lot of work to make that happen

  Which reminded him he should check in with Ian. He pulled out his phone.

  Hey. Stopped at her office to check on Blank. Will take her home after that.

  It only took Ian a few seconds to respond.

  K.

  Ben rolled his eyes. No one had ever accused Ian of being talkative.

  I’m gonna ask her out again for tomorrow night. You in?

  This time it took longer for him to respond.

  Probably not a good idea. She’ll be more comfortable if it’s just you.

  Sighing, Ben shook his head and decided to fight that battle tomorrow.

  And if Ian proved to be a dick, well, Ben would just have to knock some sense into him.

  *

  “Dorrie, what the hell are you doing here this late? Something happen?”

  Blank was sitting up in bed, TV remote in his hand, some old-fashioned western on the screen.

  For some reason, that didn’t fit her image of Blank. Then again, it probably explained a lot.

  “Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to check and make sure you’d had no setbacks.”

  Eyes narrowing, he switched off the TV. “Where were you tonight?”

  “I had a date.”

  Now his eyes flew wide and she wanted to throw something at his head. She hadn’t realized until just this second why she was here but now that she had, she wondered if she had the courage to ask what she needed to know.

  “With who?”

  “Ben Shaw.”

  Blank grunted. “Figures.”

  “Is that good or bad?”

  “It’s not a thing at all. From everything I’ve heard, Ben’s a decent guy. But that doesn’t mean you let your guard down, Dorrie. Got me? Guys can be real dicks.”

  She laughed, couldn’t help herself. “Coming from a guy, that sounds pretty funny.”

  “Yeah.” Blank grimaced. “But that doesn’t mean it’s any less true.”

  “But weren’t you the one telling me this morning not to get too comfortable on the couch?”

  “Yeah, yeah. All my fault. Be careful anyway. And I’m assigning someone else to you until I’m up and around.”

  She bit back her immediate refusal, knowing she wouldn’t win, knowing it was part of the deal with her dad. But right now, it chafed.

  “So how long do I need to schedule someone? And I gotta tell you, if it’s longer than a day or two, it ain’t happening.”

  “You need to be off your feet for at least a week.” She held up a hand when he would’ve fought her. “No arguments. I’m sending you home but I’m not clearing you for work. Blank, if that bullet had hit you centimeters south, you might not be here right now. And then who would bust my ass about dating?”

  “A week? Jesus, Dorrie, that’s torture.”

  “No, it’s not. It’s sensible. Don’t make me admit you.”

  His lips flattened but the next words that came out of his mouth were not what she was expecting. “You gonna see Ben again?”

  “I…” She stopped, sighed. “Yes. Tonight.”

  “Does he know about your working relationship? Know why you have a bodyguard?”

  She caught back a grimace. “I told him my family has money.”

  Surprisingly, Blank nodded. “Good. A little advice? Don’t spill your guts. Ian’s got some history with Antonoff. Probably not a good thing for Ben to know you work for the guy.”

  She tried to hide her shock but Blank knew her too well.

  “Wait, what’s that lo
ok for?”

  “I didn’t know Ian knew m…Mr. Antonoff.”

  There were days when that name rolled off her tongue like it was the most natural thing in the world. And there were days when the fact that she couldn’t say “my dad” made her crazy. This was one of the latter.

  “Yeah, there’s some bad blood there, going back years. Something to do with Ian’s dad’s death.”

  A sick little pit opened in her stomach. “His dad? What happened?”

  Blank watched her even more closely now, and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t hide the fact that she was dying to hear his answer.

  “The rumor that went around at the time was Antonoff’s men beat the guy to death in prison.”

  She had to swallow hard and try not to gasp. “Why?”

  Blank shrugged. “Don’t know. Could’ve been anything. Maybe business. Maybe he looked at ’em wrong in the yard. No idea.”

  “How old was Ian?”

  “Still a kid. Don’t think he was fifteen.”

  Any time was an awful time to lose your dad, but that must have been horrific for Ian. Is that why he’d cut her off six months ago? Had he found out who paid her bills?

  No, it couldn’t have been. Because if he knew, he never would’ve had sex with her tonight. Unless it was all some sort of elaborate way to make her pay for something she hadn’t done.

  But that didn’t make sense either.

  Did Ben know about the connection between her father and Ian’s? The answer to that had to be yes, considering they were cousins.

  What the hell was going on? And did she even want to open that can of worms?

  “Dorrie? What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just sad.”

  Blank wasn’t buying it now. “Something happened between you and Ian. Do I need to crack some heads? Did he say something to you?”

  She wasn’t about to share that much of her personal life with Blank. She cared for the guy, thought of him as the brother she’d never had. But there was no way she could tell Blank about what she’d done tonight. Hell, she wasn’t sure she could tell Risa, although her sister would take one look at her and hound her until she spilled everything.

  Come on, girl. You’ve been lying to people all your life. This shouldn’t be so hard.

  She looked Blank straight in the eyes. “He didn’t say anything. Honestly. I’ve got to go now. I’ll be back around nine to release you.”

  For a second, she wasn’t sure he was going to drop it. But then he nodded.

  “All right. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  She turned and headed for the door but turned when he said, “Hey, Dorrie.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for what works for you. Got it?”

  She managed a smile for Blank before she made her getaway.

  Her head filled with too much information and not enough explanation, she made her way back to Ben, whose sharp gaze latched on to her as soon as she opened the door from the back.

  His smile didn’t falter though she couldn’t seem to force one.

  She had too much on her mind. And, of course, he realized that right away.

  “Everything okay? Blank have a setback?”

  “No, Blank’s fine.” She sighed and let her true tiredness show. “I’m just wiped out.”

  The fact that part of the reason why stood in front of her made her shake her head when he smiled even wider. “Then let’s get you home to bed, hon.”

  She hated how much she liked it when he called her pet names. Hated that it made her feel like he cared about her. But how could he?

  Instead of saying something inane and making a fool of herself, she nodded and headed for the door.

  The trip back to the lobby was quiet, but he kept his hand somewhere on her body. At her elbow, on her lower back, on her upper arm.

  It flustered her enough that she barely noticed the lobby guard on the way out. Actually, she barely noticed anything; she was too caught up in her own thoughts.

  So when she heard Ben grunt in pain seconds after walking out the door, she had no idea what was going on.

  Then a rough hand grabbed her arm and started dragging her away.

  *

  Ian wasn’t asleep when his phone rang. Nowhere close.

  When he saw Ben’s name pop up on the screen, he almost swiped it into his voicemail.

  Grow a set, asshole.

  “Ben, what’s up?”

  “Someone just tried to snatch Dorrie.”

  “What the fuck?”

  Already on his feet, Ian took the stairs two at a time for his bedroom. He needed to be dressed if he was going out. “What happened?”

  “We’re at Dorrie’s.” Ben’s voice dropped, as if he didn’t want Dorrie to hear him. “I’m not sure if someone tried to grab her deliberately or if she was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. But Ian…it didn’t seem random.”

  “I’ll be there in fifteen.”

  He threw on jeans and a t-shirt and shoved his feet into combat boots. An old habit but one that’d served him well. Whatever the situation, combat boots were necessary to kick ass.

  When he parked in front of her building twelve minutes later, he had to wait several teeth-grinding seconds for the guard to call up and verify his admittance with Dorrie.

  He couldn’t hear her voice through the phone line, but finally the doorman hung up and nodded to him. Ian was already on his way to the elevator.

  As he watched the numbers descend, he seriously considered just taking the stairs but some part of his brain realized that was stupid.

  He hadn’t let himself think too much about what had happened, didn’t want to let his imagination get away from him. But the knot in his stomach wouldn’t ease.

  When he finally got to her door, he barely had to knock. Ben had obviously been waiting for him.

  They exchanged a quick glance then Ian slipped through the door and searched for Dorrie.

  Huddled on one end of an overstuffed, deep purple velvet couch, she had her knees drawn up against her chest and one arm wrapped around them while her free hand held a glass perched on top of one knee.

  He reined himself in enough to calmly ask, “Are you hurt?”

  Her gaze had locked on to him the second he’d walked into the room but now she blinked as if coming out of a haze.

  “No. I’m not hurt.”

  “What happened?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. I guess…they were going to try to get me into their van. Until Ben kicked the shit out of them.”

  Her smile was fleeting but allowed him to take a deep breath for the first time since Ben had called.

  Now he turned back to his cousin and nodded toward the kitchen he could see toward the back of the apartment.

  But Ben shook his head. “I don’t think it was random. The guys looked professional and they fought like they were trained. If they’d had another guy, I might not have been able to fight them off.”

  Ian saw Dorrie suck in a deep breath then take a healthy swallow of whatever she was drinking. “Ben, let’s—”

  “No.” Dorrie’s head popped up and her voice held an edge. “You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to come in here and take over.”

  His jaw set and he had to tamp down his immediate response, which was to tell her she’d do what he told her and she’d be safe. Apparently Ben was smarter than he was.

  Ian caught Ben’s smirk and shook his head.

  Ian released a sigh and prepared to do damage control. “You’re right. So tell me what you saw and we’ll figure out where to go from here.”

  “There’s nowhere to go from here.” She shook her head but didn’t meet his eyes. “I’ll take care of it.”

  Yeah, no. He and Ben exchanged a look and he knew they were in agreement on this point. “You don’t need to do that.”

  “And I don’t need you—”

  “Dorrie,” Ben broke in. �
��Do you want to call the cops?”

  She immediately shook her head. “No. I told you. I’ll take care of it.”

  Ian crossed his arms over his chest, because if he didn’t do something with them, he’d grab her, throw her over his shoulder, and head for the nearest bedroom to fuck her into submission.

  And Jesus, when had he become a caveman? He took a deep breath.

  “And how do you plan to do that?”

  Ian had a feeling he knew exactly how she was going to take care of it. And that just pissed him off even more.

  Her eyes narrowed, probably taking offense to the growl in his voice.

  “However I damn well choose.” She didn’t look frightened now. She looked pissed. “Just because we shared bodily fluids doesn’t mean you get to make decisions for me.”

  His head dropped back. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. That’s not—”

  “Oh really?” Practically throwing her glass at the table, she shot to her feet, taking a few steps toward him before she seemed to get herself under control. “No, that’s exactly what you meant. And you have no damn right. Not after—”

  She stopped and her lips snapped shut. But he knew what she’d been going to say. And she was absolutely fucking right.

  What the fuck was he doing here?

  Well, that question was easy to answer. He’d had a taste of her and now he was fucking addicted. She wasn’t going to be able to get rid of him easily.

  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ben shake his head and close his eyes. But he knew he needed to lay himself out or he was going to find himself on the outside.

  And he’d realized on the way over here that that’s not where he wanted to be.

  As she glared at him, he took a few steps closer.

  “You’re right. But I’m here now.”

  Her gaze narrowed. “And that’s supposed to make everything okay? Just erase what you did? Without any explanation?”

  He refused to back down now. “No, it doesn’t. I treated you like crap and I’m sorry for that. You deserve an explanation. And you’ll get one. But right now we need to figure out if those men are going to try again.”

  Her expression didn’t change. “I don’t need your help.”

  “I’m not saying you do.” Even though he knew she did. “I’m saying I—we want to help.”

  “Why? Because of last night? Last night was just sex, right? We don’t know each other well enough for it to have been anything more.”