An Indecent Longing

by Stephanie Julian

  Grabbing a beer from the mini-fridge built into the sidewall unit with the TV and his Xbox, he considered playing a little Metroid to chill then decided against it in favor of some internet sleuthing.

  Cracking open his laptop and plugging in his earphones, he cranked Slipknot, brought up his search engine, and started to dig. He was no hacker but he’d picked up a few tricks from one of the guys in his unit who had been so at least he had a starting point.

  And he had a name. Karel Antonoff.

  The man Ian believed responsible for his dad’s death.

  Shit.

  An hour later, he didn’t have a whole lot more than he’d started with, and if he didn’t stop soon, he’d have a bitch of a headache to go along with that nothing.

  For all intents and purposes, Antonoff was legit. He owned several properties, mostly industrial, owned stock in a few legitimate businesses, and had never been convicted of a crime. Been arrested a few times but those charges had never stuck. The last time had been at least fifteen years ago.

  Digging a little deeper yielded names of known associates, employees, bodyguards, and the name of his only child, a daughter, Larisa. Pure pampered princess. Long, blonde hair, cool blue eyes, and classic Russian features. He found no picture of her where she wasn’t dressed in designer clothes. Interestingly, there weren’t a lot of pictures of her to be found, and she had no social media accounts.

  One photo in particular caught his eye. She’d been at a fund-raiser for the University of Pennsylvania and the photographer had caught her in a candid pose, laughing.

  Something about the shape of her eyes, the curve of her mouth…

  With a sigh, he rubbed his tired eyes and closed the laptop, rotating his stiff neck. He really needed to get some sleep. Maybe now—

  Movement at the top of the staircase made his head snap up.

  Ian stood there with a sleeping Dorrie in his arms.

  Without a word, Ian walked across the room, settled Dorrie in Ben’s bed, and drew the covers over her. Then he walked over to Ben.

  “What’d you find?”

  His cousin knew him well. “Not much. Why didn’t you put her in your bed? I’ll go down—”

  “No.” Ian shook his head. “You get some sleep. I won’t be able to sleep for a while anyway.”

  Because sex had keyed him up. Ben’s jaw locked against the urge to say something about that.

  Ian sighed, probably correctly reading his mind.

  “I don’t know how the fuck this is going to work. I only know I don’t want her to wake up alone, and if she’s in my bed, she probably will.”

  “She doesn’t have to. I can—”

  “You can be here for her. I can make sure she’s safe.”

  Ben knew nothing he said would make Ian change his mind about this. And it wasn’t like Ben didn’t want her in his bed.

  “We’re going to need to talk about this.”

  Ian nodded. “We will. But it’s not gonna be tonight.”

  “And if she doesn’t want to be in my bed?”

  Ian shook his head. “Do you think tonight would’ve happened if she didn’t want to be in bed with you?”

  “No, but…”

  “But what?”

  He and Ian turned to find Dorrie staring at them. She looked exhausted but alert, waiting for an answer to her question.

  Ben considered evading her question. He could lie to anyone’s face and get away with it. It’d made him a valuable asset to his team.

  He didn’t want to lie to her. But if he told what he’d been thinking…

  Sighing, he shook his head. “But now isn’t the time to talk about this. Not when we’re all exhausted.”

  She stared at him for another few seconds before she nodded. “You’re right. It’s late and I have to be up and ready to play tomorrow. So I’m going to sleep here and you two can fight downstairs or Ben can come to bed and Ian can do…whatever he thinks he needs to be doing.”

  Then she turned her head in the opposite direction and sprawled in the middle of his bed.

  Ben looked at Ian, who shook his head and sighed.

  “I’m going downstairs. I’ll keep an eye on things. Get some sleep. Apparently we’ve got a soccer game to attend in the morning.”

  Then Ian left and Ben sat on the chair staring at Dorrie for at least a full minute.

  He’d started this. How the hell did he not realize how messy this was going to be? Like, seriously fucked up. And this was the first night.

  How the fuck had Adam and Tristan handled setting up their relationship?

  Since he didn’t feel like he knew either of the men well enough ask, he’d have to figure out a way to bring up the subject. It wasn’t like he could just come out and say, “Hey, guys. When you decided to start sleeping with the same woman, how’d you decide who slept on which side and what happens when you both want to cuddle her?”

  Or, in their case, what happens when you’re both worried about who should be the cuddler?

  Christ, was he really trying to figure out who should be doing the cuddling in a relationship that wasn’t even a relationship yet?

  He sighed, not bothering to hide it. Then he got up, stripped down to his boxer briefs, and slid beneath the covers.

  Fuck it. If they were going to even try to make this work, he needed to be on board all the way. And since he’d been the one to push them into it, then he’d better start figuring out where he fit.

  He knew by her deep breathing that she’d already fallen asleep, which brought a smile to his face. She trusted them enough to keep her safe. Or she was just that exhausted. Still, she was relaxed enough with them to be that completely vulnerable.

  He could work with that.

  Now he just needed to figure out how to get Ian to relax his guard enough to let her in. To trust himself with her.

  Moving closer, he lay on his side and put his hand on her back. He felt the heat of her skin through the shirt she wore and wanted to slip his hand under her shirt to feel her bare skin.

  You know what? Fuck it. Just do it.

  Sliding his hand under the hem of the t-shirt she wore, he let it settle on the curve of her waist.

  When she sighed and started to shift around, he wondered if she’d move away. Instead, she rolled onto her side and scooted back, settling her ass against his thighs and her back against his chest.

  So he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her even closer. Then he released a deep breath and closed his eyes.

  Chapter Eight

  Dorrie woke, not in her bed but safe.

  The strong arm around her middle held her tight, and the warmth of the body at her back made her feel like she never wanted to leave.

  She knew it was Ben and not Ian who held her. Funny how she could already tell them apart just by the way they held her.

  Ben’s grip was looser than Ian’s and Ben actually felt relaxed. She didn’t think Ian ever relaxed. They had that in common, apparently. Maybe it was why she’d been drawn to Ian in the first place. But Ben’s laid-back attitude made her feel like she could breathe when he was around.

  Amazingly, those conflicting feelings made her want whatever the hell they were doing to work.

  So you think you’re going to live happily ever after?

  No one lived happily ever after. Some people got to live happily for a little while and she’d be okay with that.

  But she was enough of a realist to know nothing lasted forever so you had to take what you could get when you could get it and not worry about what other people thought. Or at least try not to make yourself sick worrying about what other people thought.

  Her mom did that. She worried, almost all the time. Of course, her mom had good reason to worry. Her child was the illegitimate daughter of a Russian crime boss.

  Probably not a good time to think about that.

  With a yawn, she began to ease away from Ben, not wanting to wake him. It was still pretty early, but she needed to eat s
omething before her game and she needed some time to wake up.

  But as soon as she got a few inches away, he pulled her back against him.

  She couldn’t tell if he was awake but when he nestled his stiff erection between the cheeks of her ass, she suddenly decided she didn’t really have to get up just yet.

  Longing hit her like a punch to the gut. Her stomach clenched and so did her thighs. And her lungs decided they didn’t know how to work anymore.

  How the hell did he manage to have this effect on her? As a doctor, she knew there were physiological responses at work here, but that didn’t account for the way her heart pounded like she’d just finished fifteen minutes of wind sprints. Or the way she wanted to turn and wrap her hand around that hard cock and stroke him until he couldn’t take it anymore and he pushed her onto her back and pounded into her like he was so hungry for her he couldn’t stand not having her.

  With Ian, it was all about breaking his control. With Ben, she wanted him to help her lose her control.

  Was there something wrong with her that she had this reaction to these two men?

  Did it matter?

  Not at the moment.

  It was still early enough that the sunlight barely made it past the cracks between the shades and the windowsills so she still had time. And she definitely wanted to spend it being pounded into the mattress by Ben.

  What about Ian?

  Her body demanded she think about that problem later. Right now, she needed sex.

  Rolling over until she faced Ben, she realized his eyes were still closed. Whether or not he was still asleep was the question.

  Reaching between them, she wrapped her fingers around his cock through his briefs. When his lips curved, she knew he hadn’t been asleep. And he wasn’t going to say no.

  Leaning forward, she licked his collarbone as she molded her hand around him and squeezed. He sucked in a breath and his cock jerked beneath her palm. But he continued to simply lie there, though both hands were now on her hips.

  Aching and horny, she tried to show him what she wanted with her hands, tugging and pulling. But the damn man refused to take a hint.

  So she bit him. Right in the curve of his neck. With a groan, he jerked against her.

  Now we’re getting somewhere.

  Tightening one hand around him, she used the other to tweak his nipples, pet his washboard stomach, and curl around his hip to slip her fingers beneath the waistband of his underwear to tease the crack between his cheeks.

  In the next second, she found herself flipped onto her back, staring up at a man who looked wide awake. And hungry. For her.

  Now her breath got caught in her throat and her hips rose to meet his, grinding her mound against his cock.

  His eyes narrowed, his gaze intense, he slowly let his body weight pin her to the bed. She didn’t know if he was watching to see if she panicked or if he simply wanted to drive her crazy. She only knew she couldn’t do more than wriggle beneath him.

  Which he apparently liked. So she shifted beneath him, rubbing against him as her hands began to push his boxers out of her way.

  “Is that how you want it? Hard and fast?”

  Swallowing, she nodded.

  “How about a little dirty, too?”

  Her eyes widened before she could stop her reaction, but he couldn’t mistake her almost-frantic nod. She wasn’t good with talking, especially not in this context, but she’d try if she had to.

  Luckily for her, Ben seemed to understand.

  “Good. Because I definitely don’t have the patience for slow and nice right now. Roll over.”

  Her brain didn’t comprehend his last statement. She was still stuck on the rough growl in his voice that made goosebumps appear all over her body. But then he leaned down until his lips almost touched hers.

  “Roll. Over.”

  Oh.

  His hands came down on either side of her head, his knees on the outside of her thighs, and he lifted his body just enough for her to be able to move. And she did, quickly rolling onto her stomach.

  “Hands up.”

  God, she could barely breathe. But she did what he asked, stretching her arms up until her fingertips hit the headboard.

  “Now lie still, honey.”

  She didn’t know if she’d be able to, but she’d give it a damn good try. Until he literally ripped her panties away. Her tiny bikini panties stood no chance. He tore one side apart and she shuddered. When he did the other, she pressed her face into the mattress, trying to suppress her moan.

  But when he smacked her ass, the sound she made would’ve been embarrassing if she’d actually had a functioning brain cell left. Now, it just made her hot enough to combust.

  “You like that, don’t you? Good to know.”

  He smacked the other cheek, not enough to hurt, just enough to sting. And she did like it. A lot. She hadn’t known she would. Had always wanted to know if she would but had never had the courage to ask.

  “Such a gorgeous ass, sweetheart. But we don’t have time for that this morning. We’re going hard and fast.”

  “Good.”

  She had enough breath for one word and smiled when she heard him chuckle.

  “I think I need you to keep quiet or this will be over way too soon. And I don’t want you to be left hanging. So let’s get on that, shall we?” He tapped her on the ass, not even enough to sting this time. “On your knees, face on the mattress.”

  She immediately did what he wanted, sticking her ass in the air, not caring a bit about how exposed she must be, what she must look like.

  She only wanted him to get her off. Her body trembled and burned, her pussy and her clit ached so badly she wanted use her fingers to get herself off, but he hadn’t told her to move.

  Suddenly, the mattress tilted to the side and she had the sudden fear he was leaving. But before she could say anything, she heard a drawer open and close and the sound of foil tearing.

  She hadn’t thought she could get any hornier. She was wrong.

  Slipping his cock between her tight thighs, he thrust forward, barely brushing against her clit. She tried to spread her legs, tilt her hips, do something to get him where she needed him. But Ben had his own agenda.

  A condom wasn’t the only thing he’d grabbed from the drawer. She heard the sound of liquid being squeezed from a bottle then felt him spread her ass with one hand.

  She immediately tensed, which got her another tap.

  “Easy, hon. We’ll take this part slow.”

  Then his lubricated thumb pressed against the puckered entrance to her ass. The sensation in a sexual context was like nothing she’d ever experienced before.

  Burning pressure. An uncomfortable fullness that slowly became another kind of ache. She froze as he worked his thumb inside her, practically panting when he stopped. That burn spread through her lower body until she wanted to squirm away. And yet she didn’t want to get away. She wanted him to make her take even more.

  “I’m going to take your ass. Ian’s going to fuck your pussy and I’m going to have your ass and you’re going to scream because it’s going to feel so damn good.”

  Every word he spoke pushed her that much closer to an orgasm she wanted so desperately.

  Biting her lip against the need to beg, she pushed back, just enough to let him know she liked what he was promising her.

  When he pulled his thumb out, she moaned.

  “But not today. Today…”

  Gripping her ass, he spread her thighs as wide as he could with her legs trapped between his and this time he sank his cock into her pussy with one push.

  She sighed in relief that was fleeting when he began to ride her hard and fast, just like he’d promised. His thighs slapped against her ass, his grip on her hips almost punishing. The bed shook with each thrust. She braced her hands against the headboard and tried to steady herself.

  The only thing keeping her upright were Ben’s hands on her hips. But it felt like the world was shi
fting around her. Her sex tightened around his cock, gripping him tighter and tighter until she knew something had to give.

  When he slid his hand around to her front to squeeze her clit, she came with a sharp cry only seconds before Ben groaned and thrust once more until he was as deep as he could get. Then he held himself there and she felt the pulse of his release.

  Long seconds later, he slipped out and let her collapse onto the bed, where he wound up next to her seconds later.

  When she finally caught her breath and opened her eyes, she found him smiling at her. She couldn’t help but return the smile.

  “Good morning to you, too.”

  Now she laughed. Okay, more like giggled, which didn’t sound at all like her.

  “I’m not sure I’m going to be able to run now. I think you wore me out.”

  “Good. Then we’ll stay in bed all morning.” He yawned. “I could use a few more hours of sleep anyway.”

  She actually gave it some thought but knew she wouldn’t leave her team hanging. “Can’t. I need to be there. And I need to be there in about an hour so…”

  Ben’s lopsided grin made her want to kiss him, but even after what they’d just done, she still had doubts about how to act with him. Which was stupid and something she needed to deal with.

  She needed to talk to her sister. Was dying to talk to Risa about last night and this morning. Actual girl-talk where they giggled like teenagers and talked about things she’d never talk about with anyone else. She wanted a sisters’ sleepover where they could eat ice cream until they were sick and watch romantic comedies, even stupid ones she didn’t understand, where women went out of their way to attract guys who didn’t seem worthy of them.

  Not men like Ben and Ian. She knew if she asked them for anything right now, they’d give it to her.

  Unless they find out exactly who you are.

  Ben’s gaze narrowed. “Hey, what put that look on your face?”

  Shit. She needed to work on her poker face. Risa never gave anything away that she didn’t want you to see.

  “I don’t want to leave.” She shrugged. “I feel guilty.”

  His immediate smile made her feel slightly better because she’d told him the truth. She really didn’t want to leave him. She wanted Ian to join them. And she did feel guilty.