by Karina Bliss
There was a tug on her dress. “Iv,” said Harry, who had chocolate icing smeared across his chin.
Aunt Agatha paused in her reminisces. “What did the baby say?”
“Give,” she replied. “He wants more cake.” This was his third visit. A fast learner, was Harry. Handing Agatha the platter, she picked him up. “Excuse us while I find another distraction.”
Threading through the mourners she carried the toddler to the laundry where Charlie had banished Salsa after the schnoodle inhaled a plate of sausage rolls.
“Dog?” said Harry.
“I think Salsa’s done enough penance, don’t you?” During Charlie’s reprimand, Salsa had gazed up at his former master with big doleful eyes that spoke of heartbreak, betrayal, remorse and undying love. His expression had haunted Viv ever since. Of course when she opened the door, those same doggie eyes held mistrust, dislike and suspicion. “No, really,” she said, “don’t thank me.”
Salsa’s claws skittered on the checkered linoleum as he made his break for freedom.
“Dog!” Viv put Harry down and the baby followed.
She stayed to empty the dryer, not because she was superwoman, but because she’d take any excuse for a respite. The fluffy towels were warm and fragrant with fabric softener and she laid one across the nape of her neck and felt some of the tension ease. Okay, now she was ready to deal with Dan and Ross.
“Meredith.”
“Charlie!” She yanked off the towel. “I was just… What do you need? Another round of tea?”
“No, I came to let Salsa out.” He looked tired and drawn.
“That’s okay, I just did.”
“I overreacted, didn’t I?”
“I’m sure he’ll forgive you. Well—” she returned the towel to the heap of laundry “—we should check on the guests.”
Charlie cleared his throat. “Thanks for that photo display of Mum that you put together…. You’ve been terrific.”
And a liar and a cheat and a fraud. “Anyone would have done the same.”
“I’ll have to make sure I keep bringing out Mum’s photos for the kids…so they don’t forget her.” His eyes shining with unshed tears, Charlie picked up a towel and started folding it badly. “Losing Mum like that has made me think about what matters in life, about the things you should hold on to…and the things you should let go of, like anger and bitterness and—”
“Charlie.” He wasn’t telling her this, he was telling Merry. “We should check on Harry.” She looked past him to the door, but he didn’t take the hint. Instead he kept folding towels, piling them up in a misshapen heap.
“Susan told me you said you still loved me,” he blurted. “Do you?”
Lord. Why did Susan have to be so nice. Penance, this was penance.
“You don’t want to answer that,” said Charlie when she remained silent. “And who can blame you for protecting yourself. You were right to challenge me at Tilly’s soccer practice. I was the one who walked out on the family. I need to take responsibility for that.” He took a deep breath.
“I turned down your attempts at reconciliation because I wasn’t ready to forgive you…and I know that makes me immature. But I was so hurt, Mere.” His gaze flicked to hers, then away. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he tried to articulate his feelings. He’d probably prefer to be buried alive in one of his concrete slabs than do this.
So would Viv.
“Charlie, I really think we—”
“I couldn’t stand the thought that you might be looking at that doctor the way you used to look at me. Like I could walk on water if I wanted to.” He bowed his head, his big hands fisting in the fluffy pink cotton. “How did it happen, Mere?” he asked quietly. “How did I shrink from a person you could look up to and respect into another kid that needed looking after?”
Momentarily Viv forgot her role. “That’s exactly how Mum treated Dad.”
“I guess she did.” Charlie wiped his forehead with one of the towels. “Mere, I have to say this now while I’ve got the courage. I want to come home…if you’ll still have me.”
“What?” Viv said faintly.
“I want us to try again.” His eyes met hers. “I love you, Mere and—”
“Charlie, we can’t rush into this,” she said desperately. “With Linda’s death and everything we should take a couple of days to think this through.”
“You don’t trust me after the way I’ve acted. I expected it—”
Viv squirmed. “It’s not that, I—”
“—which is why I’ve asked Pastor Fred to counsel us. To prove I’m serious and to stop falling into the old patterns. You loosening up about schedules and chores, and me, not taking you for granted.”
How could she have been so arrogant? Charging in and blithely casting Charlie in the role of villain. She knew nothing. Nothing. “I’m not necessarily saying no but I feel a couple of days—”
“Hey, I’ll agree to anything,” he said, “but give me some hope.” His crooked grin faded and he held out a hand. “Please.”
The door opened. “Oh, I’m sorry.” One of the mourners stood there. Linda’s friend Bettina. “I was looking for the bathroom.”
Viv had never been so glad to see anyone in her life. “Let me show you.” She ducked under her brother-in-law’s arm. “Charlie, I’ll let you know about that proposal.”
“Today, Mere, even if it’s an agreement in principle.”
“Today.” In the hall, she pointed Bettina in the right direction, then darting a glance over her shoulder, hurried through the house to the toolshed in the backyard. Among the cobwebs and the bags of compost, she pulled out Ross’s cell. Her twin answered on the first ring.
“Viv, at last I’ve been on tenterhooks—”
“No time. Charlie’s asked for a reconciliation. What excuse can I give him?”
“What! This isn’t one of your jokes is it, Viv? I mean—” her voice rose to an excited shriek “—really?”
Viv held the phone away from her ear. “Really.”
“You don’t need an excuse, the answer’s yes. Yes, triple times, yes! I can hardly believe it.” She started to laugh. “And you’re the most wonderful sister ever, talking me into this swap. I had my doubts but—”
“Merry, quit fizzing and think. I can’t say yes. Charlie will expect to jump straight into the marital bed. At the very least, he’ll try and kiss me.”
“Don’t you dare kiss my husband.”
“Of course I’m not kissing him, you idiot. Listen, Dan thinks you’re going to have to come clean to Charlie.”
“How does our brother come into this?”
“He showed up at the funeral and recognized me.” Glancing out the shed window, she saw Dan standing by his 4WD talking to an increasingly unhappy Ross and felt a surge of fierce protectiveness. Unfortunately it wasn’t for her brother. “Don’t worry. I swore Dan to secrecy. He’s calling in to see you on his way home to Beacon Bay.”
“There’s no way I’ll get Charlie back if I tell him the truth now. My family reunited…it’s the best possible outcome.” Her twin’s voice radiated a passionate intensity. “Promise me you’ll keep Charlie in a holding pattern until I get there.”
Viv paused. Charlie wasn’t some actor in a Broadway play to be manipulated into happiness. He was a real man with complicated feelings. But Merry was relying on her. Approving of her for the first time in their lives.
Ruthlessly, Viv quashed her doubts. “Okay, I’ll make this work somehow. Anyway, I’ve got to go. I’ll phone when everyone’s gone.”
Frowning, she returned to the house. She was reasonably confident she could hold Charlie at arm’s length for a couple more days. Heaven knows she’d had enough experience discouraging earnest lovers. What worried her was Ross’s reaction when he found out about Viv’s new role as proxy wife.
She suspected he wasn’t going to like it.
* * *
“What do you want me to say, Dan?” Ross demanded.
“That it’s okay for you to screw me over? Tell the CO behind my back I’m mentally unfit?” The noon sun glinted off the white hood of his former friend’s new Ute, forcing him to shield his eyes.
“So what, we’re done?” Dan challenged him. “More than a decade of friendship and it’s over because I’m calling it as I see it?”
Ross set his jaw. “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”
“For God’s sake, don’t you get it yet? It doesn’t matter jack shit how many of the enemy you annihilate or how many platitudes you hide behind. Nothing will bring Lee and Steve to life.”
“I know that but I refuse to become the third victim.” Shutting down the pain came automatically now. “I can be the man I was.”
Dan looked at him with an expression that made Ross feel like a child. “None of us will ever be the same. Nate, me, you. Steve’s wife and son. Lee’s fiancee. The ambush blew every one of our lives sky-high and dropped us places none of us wanted to go. Chart a new course and move forward.”
“Accept that those who can’t, teach?” Ross sneered.
“Yeah, because a lot of second-raters teach in the SAS.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. They chose that path. You and the CO are trying to force it on me. Just because you’ve opted for a quiet life doesn’t mean I have to.”
Dan stiffened. “Is that what you think? That I’ve gone soft?”
“I think you’ll feel your choice is vindicated if we all link hands and start singing ‘Kumbaya,’ yeah.”
Dan shook his head. “Everything’s filtered through your own warped revenge fantasy. As your friend I’m telling you straight. However stubborn you are, you can’t bulldoze your way past the CO. And until you accept that you’re using anger to avoid grief, you’re jeopardizing any future you have with the SAS.”
“Thanks.” Ross kicked the heavy-duty tires. “Thanks for being on my side.”
“I am on your side, dickhead. That’s why I’m doing this.”
“Yeah? Then why did I catch you warning your sister off like I’m some kind of leper?”
Dan hesitated. “You need to get your shit together before you get involved with anyone and we both know Viv’s always had a soft spot for you.”
“And I might take advantage?”
“I think at the moment you might do anything,” retorted Dan. “Hell, I’ve pissed you off…you might consider it as payback against me.”
Ross wouldn’t have felt so outraged if the idea hadn’t already occurred to him. Dan must have read his guilt because he stopped playing with his car keys. Their eyes locked.
“You have thought about it,” he said slowly.
With an exclamation of disgust, Ross turned and walked away, every molecule of his being concentrating on not limping.
* * *
Ross was so intent on getting away from Dan before he hit him that he forgot the house was full of mourners. Thankfully the hum of conversation registered before he marched blindly into the sea of black.
He stopped abruptly on the doorstep, in no mood to be polite, emotions churning in his gut like rancid butter. Behind him, he heard the roar of an engine, then the squeal of tires as Dan released his frustration on a floored accelerator.
Unfortunately Ross couldn’t desert Charlie. Not during Linda’s funeral. Which left him stuck there.
Accept that your anger is really grief and you have a future with the SAS.
Realizing he was grinding his teeth, he struggled to bring his temper under control. He was The Iceman, goddamn it, and master of his fate. Yeah. Right.
He was at the funeral of a woman he loathed.
He was deceiving his brother, the only person loyal to him.
He faced being cast adrift by the unit he’d devoted his career to.
And he’d been betrayed by one of his best friends.
Screw the breathing. In fact, screw everything. He’d make some excuse to Charlie, head to Linda’s and get drunk on the bottle of whiskey Agatha had given them in lieu of flowers.
From a defensive position in the hall, he scanned the crowded living room for his brother. Feeling a nudge on his knee, Ross glanced down and saw Salsa holding a ball, doggie eyes begging him to throw it.
“Go find Tilly.” Looking up, he saw Viv heading his way, dressed like a nun in her little black mourning dress, lashes lowered demurely, but with that unconscious sway to her hips that she couldn’t get rid of. His temple started to throb. She was plotting something again, he could tell.
“We need to talk,” Viv murmured urgently.
“The funeral’s over.” Ross didn’t bother to keep his voice down. “There’s no longer a ‘we.’”
She propelled him into the hall. “We’ll talk when Charlie takes Agatha to the airport. The kids are going, too, so we’ll have privacy.”
“Didn’t you hear what I said?” he demanded. “I’m leaving.”
“If you’re not here when Charlie brings the kids home, how will I stop him kissing me?” she asked reasonably.
“What?”
But she’d already returned to the protection of the herd. The woman was as cunning as a weasel. Salsa dropped the ball and growled in the direction of Viv’s swiftly retreating back. “Stand in line,” Ross snarled.
By the time everyone had left and Charlie’s taillights disappeared around the corner, Ross was in serious danger of wringing Viv’s neck.
Returning inside, he found her in the lounge pouring two stiff Scotches. She offered him one. “That went well, I thought.”
Ross folded his arms. “Spit it out. Why would Charlie kiss you?”
Holding his glass, Viv gulped a swig of her own. “He asked me for a reconciliation.”
For a moment he didn’t think he’d heard right. “Who…you! You’re not even his wife.”
“I knew you’d see the funny side.”
He stared at her. “Do you take nothing seriously?”
“Easier to laugh than cry.”
Ross grabbed his drink and took a slug. “And how did you answer Charlie? No, don’t tell me. I’ll just think what a sane person would do and then choose the opposite. You’re going to stall until Meredith gets home.”
She nodded.
Ross scowled. “Where’s the cell I lent you?”
“Charging. What are you going to do?”
“Enough’s enough, Viv.” He bent to the power socket and yanked the charger out of the wall.
“Charlie’s driving. With Agatha and the kids. You’ll cause an accident.”
“No more stall tactics.” He checked his cell for a signal. Damn it, the batteries were still too low. “Even if you were Merry, it’s not as if a reconciliation is a good idea.” Ross tried to make the call anyway. It didn’t work.
“How can it not be a good idea? For heaven’s sake they both want it and—” She broke off. “Wait a cotton-pickin’ minute,” she said slowly. “When Merry told Charlie about the kiss she said he came home from staying with you and asked for a separation.”
He didn’t like where she was going with this. “Charlie’s his own man.”
“That’s bullshit. He looks up to you.”
Surely Charlie hadn’t taken his drunken philosophizing that seriously? “The only thing I said was Charlie should ask himself if he could ever trust her again.”
“Oh, is that all you said.” Viv’s eyes kindled. “And all this time you’ve been pretending to be neutral bloody Switzerland and lecturing me about interfering.” Her chest expanded in an outraged breath. “And now it turns out that most of the blame lies at your door…it was just a kiss, Ross, one kiss!”
“One kiss, sure, but Meredith had been meeting this guy for weeks. If nothing else, she was unfaithful in her heart.”
“I didn’t know you were such a romantic.” Her sarcastic tone was really annoying him.
“No, I’m a realist. Better that Charlie man up to the truth now than face another disappointment further down th
e track. Cut his losses while he still had his self-respect.”
“Good God, it’s just like Pride and Prejudice,” she exclaimed. “You’ve gone and Darcy’d my sister’s marriage. Stuck your nose in where you have no expertise, no insight, no bloody clue.”
He scoffed. “And you have? You run to the other side of the world when someone mentions commitment.”
“Don’t try and deflect this onto me.” She jammed a finger into his chest, obviously needing this argument as much as he did. “One lousy kiss—not even initiated by Merry—and you wrote off eight years of marriage between two wonderful people.”
“You didn’t think my brother was so wonderful last week when you were encouraging your twin to run away with his children.”
“And I was wrong,” Viv shot back. “At least I’m big enough to admit my mistakes. Now admit yours. You shouldn’t have interfered in their marriage.”
“My interference doesn’t come close to yours, lady. I’m not the person impersonating my sibling.”
“Yes, but I’m only interfering out of absolute necessity. Cleaning up your mess, in fact.”
Unbelievable. Her knack of shifting blame was un-fucking-believable. “Fine.” Ross held up his hands in surrender. “I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll never interfere again. Starting now.”
“That’s not the lesson, chucklehead,” she said impatiently. “Do you really want our niece and nephew shuttled between an unhappy, pining mom and dad?”
“Emotional blackmail won’t work on me.”
“Oh, please! Any appeal to your feelings constitutes emotional blackmail.”
“You want to know what I really think? Okay. Your sister should have thought about her kids before she succumbed to flattery or a good listener or whatever the hell she thought she was getting when she kissed that doctor. And frankly, I have no patience for her throwing up her hands and whining, ‘But I’m a nice person and I didn’t mean for this to happen.’ The mess made by nice people is the worst kind of mess.”
“I hope you’re not drawing parallels between Merry’s one mistake and your father’s infidelity,” Viv said slowly.
