by Karina Bliss
“No,” he retorted, “you’re doing that.” But she was right, he realized even as he denied it. His childhood had influenced his views.
“You helped break it, Ross, and you have to help fix it,” she insisted. “All you need is a little resolve. Anyway, isn’t that what the SAS are meant to do? Serve and protect?”
Ross lost the urge to argue. Who am I if I’m not a soldier? “I’m leaving.”
She stepped in front of him. “What did I say that hurt you?”
He was heartily tired of this woman evoking feelings he didn’t want to deal with. “Get out of my way, Viv.”
“Not until we’ve sorted this out.”
“Yeah? How are you going to stop me? Steal my keys again?”
She pulled his head down to hers and kissed him.
It was an angry, frustrated, circuit breaker of a kiss. Ross threaded his hands through her hair and pushed her against the wall so their bodies fused from breastbone to thigh.
Her mouth was soft, dangerously addictive. Screw accountability. And screw Dan. Ross owed him nothing.
When they broke apart for air, they were both breathing hard. “Well, that lived up to my expectations.” She impaled him with one of her frank looks. “How about yours?”
Hell yes. Ross came to his senses. “What was that about?” he demanded.
“Kissing it better.”
Mortified, he recoiled. This was pity. “That’s right. You’re drawn to rescuing the weak and feeble.”
“If only they all looked like you do.”
Ross felt a strong temptation to kiss her again. Instead he took another step back and clasped his hands behind him. “The last thing we need right now is anyone seeing me making out with my brother’s wife. Besides, didn’t Dan tell you? I need fixing.”
Standing on tiptoe, Viv kissed him again. “Once you’re fixed I’ll have no use for you. Our family tomcat Boo Boo was never the same after.”
Something knotted and painful released in him. “Yeah, well, unlike Boo Boo I know how to protect my assets.” He felt a strange sense of loss as he looked at her. “We can’t do this, Viv. We’re on different sides.” Though he knew she’d do her utmost to ensure he wasn’t implicated, this whole situation still had the potential to blow up in his face. He couldn’t lose Charlie. His little brother was all he had left.
She turned away to pick up their drinks. “Are you really going to turn us in?”
Shit. Ross gulped his whiskey. He couldn’t dispute that in his personal life Charlie let stronger people take charge. Guess that was a side effect of being brought up by a control freak like Linda.
“I guess I can keep my mouth shut for another couple of days,” he said grudgingly. “Give your brother time to talk Meredith round—what?”
Skepticism flitted across Viv’s face. “He might do it,” she said neutrally. Placating him.
“With no help from you?”
“No,” she admitted, then took a swig of her own drink. “I have to stand with Merry on this.”
Ross drained his glass. “And to be clear…I’m only doing this because, unlike the Jansen twins, I accept responsibility for a mistake as soon as I realize I’ve made one. I shouldn’t have broadcast my feelings about marriage to Charlie.” Viv cleared her throat. He hated it when she did that because it always heralded more bad news. “Now what?”
“Merry phoned. The hospital won’t authorize a transfer until her blood infection clears up. You might have to keep your mouth shut for another week.”
Ross took a full minute to respond. Possibly because he had trouble unlocking his jaw. “In the morning I’m returning to my beach house as planned,” he said coldly. The funeral was over, Charlie none the wiser. Dan could run interference from here; maybe that was Ross’s best revenge. “And I don’t want to see or hear from you unless there’s such a monumental crisis that you can’t handle it alone. Am I clear?”
She swallowed. “Crystal.”
He caught sight of the schnoodle, glaring at Viv from under the coffee table. “And I’m taking Salsa with me. That dog is the only creature in this house whose integrity you haven’t corrupted and I’m not abandoning him to a coronary because you’re trying to bribe your way into his affections.”
Viv lifted the decanter. “Another Scotch?”
“Not funny.” Ross whistled for the dog.
“Don’t call me, I’ll call you?”
Her tone stung. “What did you expect me to say, Viv?” he challenged. “Let’s forgive and forget…all pull together? One kiss and I’m supposed to fall into line?”
“Why not? You thought one kiss was enough to end a marriage.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Turn right in four hundred yards,” said the tinny, electronic voice of Viv’s GPS.
“But is it a turn, Shel?” she queried. “Or are you—once again—confused by a side road on a sharp bend?”
Sheldon voiced no reply. So far their relationship had proved fractious, chiefly because Sheldon’s favorite advice was, “Perform a U-turn where possible.”
The plug-in GPS had been couriered to Merry’s home yesterday. No return address, no note, but Viv knew who’d sent it and felt a relief disproportionate to the gift. Ross wasn’t abandoning her entirely.
Now at 12:30 p.m. on Friday she was following Sheldon as if he were a trail of sonic breadcrumbs from the airport—where she’d just dropped Charlie—to Harry’s day care.
Charlie was flying to Christchurch for his Master Builders’ conference and wouldn’t be back until Monday night. All going well Merry would be home to greet him.
Viv should be kicking up her heels. For the past two days she’d been torn between relief that she no longer had to deal with her unsettling attraction to Ross and an urge to phone and find out if he was okay.
Who was she kidding? She missed him.
“Turn right in one hundred yards,” said Sheldon.
Viv flicked on her indicators and pulled into the turning lane.
While it was a huge relief to have Charlie gone for a few days, it couldn’t have come at a worse time for Tilly with her end-of-season match pending. She needed a parent around. Of course, as far as Charlie was concerned, she had one.
“If we don’t win, I’m gonna tell,” she’d threatened over breakfast.
“That would be breaking your word.”
“You broke your word. You said you’d take me to Laserforce with some friends.”
“And I will, honey, as soon as I can find a sitter for Harry, and learn all your friends’ and their families’ histories.”
“You’re not the fun one,” Tilly muttered. The kids were really missing their mother now, despite the daily Skype calls.
Merry fretted over being apart from them but wouldn’t let Viv change their routine for fear of triggering questions from Charlie. With reconciliation on the table, she was paranoid, absolutely paranoid about him finding out.
She’d had a new cell delivered to her hospital bed and now handled all calls with her husband, volunteering only the sketchiest information Viv needed for her brief encounters with Charlie around the kids’ schedules.
“I told him we had to start over, lots of talking without the distraction of the physical,” she’d said vaguely. “So he won’t be bothering you that way.”
Except there had been heat in her brother-in-law’s eyes when he’d said goodbye at the airport drop-off, and he’d murmured that he found the new rules a turn-on. Viv had a horrible suspicion they’d graduated to phone sex.
“Turn left in three hundred yards.”
“Thanks, Shel, I can take it from here.” Viv switched off the GPS, then frowned as she caught sight of the ambulance parked on the street outside the day care, its flashing light sweeping the building’s fence like a searchlight. There was an office block next door to the center, it was probably attending someone there.
Parking the car, Viv grabbed the flowers she’d bought for Susan from the passenger seat. The
bright verbenas of burnt orange and yellow rustled in their cellophane wrapper as she hurried to the gate, arriving at the same time as another mother—a pretty redhead wearing a business suit. They exchanged anxious smiles.
“I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“But we worry anyway.”
Viv unlatched the gate and pushed it open. Mothers stood in small groups, clutching their kids, and talking in low tones. They glanced over when the two women arrived and Viv’s blood froze. The message couldn’t have been plainer. It’s one of ours. Beside her, the redhead moaned. Blindly, Viv scanned the playground for Harry.
All the kids had been taken outside the main building and were cheerful enough, playing, oblivious to the muted distress of the grown-ups. They were under the supervision of one teacher, a middle-aged woman, who stood when she spotted the new arrivals and began threading her way toward them. In her panic, Viv couldn’t remember her name.
“Iv.”
At her feet, Harry crawled out of one of the playground’s big concrete pipes. With a whimper, Viv fell to her knees, dropping the flowers and grabbing the baby in such a tight hug he squawked a protest and squirmed for freedom. She loosened her hold but didn’t release him, kissing his little cheek again and again.
He was safe. Her panic subsided and she felt guilty for her joy, ashamed.
Glancing up, she saw the ashen redhead being shepherded into the building. What could she do to help? Still clutching Harry, she staggered to her feet on legs that felt like they’d run a marathon.
The flowers lay on the ground. When she’d steadied herself Viv picked them up with her free hand and hurried to the nearest cluster of moms.
“What happened, can someone tell me?”
Jiggling her fretful child on one ample hip, a blonde nodded. “Johnny Campbell had an allergic reaction. Fortunately Susan recognized the symptoms quickly and ran for the epinephrine shot. His allergy’s so severe they keep it on hand.”
“Will he be okay?”
But the other woman was looking past her. Viv turned and they all stepped back as the ambulance officers came down the path with the stretcher. The redhead walked beside it. Johnny Campbell turned out to be the bombastic little guy who’d driven into Viv’s shins the first day she’d dropped Harry off. His small face was waxen, he whimpered, clinging tightly to his mother’s hand. Viv’s throat constricted.
The small convoy passed by, oblivious, gripped in their private drama. The gate clicked shut behind them.
“I don’t understand,” murmured the blonde. “We all know not to send anything containing nuts to day care. They remind us every week in the newsletter. How the hell could this have happened?”
“He’ll be fine.” Susan came out of the center, dispensing reassuring smiles. For the first time, she looked plain. “A day or two and he’ll be right as rain.” Her gaze lit on Viv and her smile lost its soothing quality. “Meredith, can I have a private word?” Taking Harry, she handed him to another teacher and steered Viv into the tiny office near the kids’ locker room and closed the door.
It felt like being called to the headmaster’s classroom at the tiny elementary school at Beacon Bay, only this time Viv hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d put Vegemite—the vegetable extract beloved of Kiwi kids—on Harry’s sandwiches this morning, same as always. “Are you okay?” she said to Susan, remembering her own shock and bewilderment after Linda’s accident. “Can I get you anything…a glass of water, a sweater?” The younger woman’s hands trembled as she pulled out a chair.
“No, thank you. Meredith—”
“Here.” Viv remembered the flowers. “I brought them as a thank you for promoting M—my cause with Charlie.” Susan didn’t take them, so she laid them on her cluttered desk. “You’ve certainly earned them.”
“I need to talk to you about what you put on Harry’s sandwich,” Susan said gently.
Viv relaxed. “Vegemite,” she said. “Same as every morning.” She could see herself putting the knife in the jar, spreading it on the bread, not too much…. “Harry only likes a little. Tilly on the other hand, can eat it by the spoonful. Personally I find the whole idea of yeast extract disgusting, never have got the taste for it.” She stopped. “Wait,” she said slowly. “We were out this morning. I went to the pantry…the jar was empty. I told Tilly off for putting it away empty.” Her hand crept to her mouth. “I put peanut butter on instead.”
“Johnny took a bite before he realized. Normally he’s very aware of avoiding any food but his own, but they started playing food monsters. And you’ve always been so careful with Harry’s lunch, the supervisor didn’t think to check.”
Over her hand, Viv stared at Susan, a dozen excuses springing to her lips. It’s not my fault. I’m only pretending to be Meredith. I had no idea we weren’t allowed to send peanut products to day care.
Except…she’d initiated the swap, she’d swept Merry’s protests aside, she’d been confident of bluffing her way through every situation that might arise.
“It’s my fault,” she rasped. “No one else’s…I’m so sorry.”
Numbly she remembered what she’d said to Dan at the funeral when she’d argued against Meredith telling the truth. This way no one gets hurt.
A child could have died.
Viv grabbed a shoe box of crayon drawings from the desk and upended it. The drawings fluttered to the floor in a spread of vivid color.
Then she vomited.
* * *
“Three kilometers to Muriwai,” said Sheldon, and Viv’s hands tightened nervously on the steering wheel.
The first drops of an incoming squall spat against the windscreen as Liberty navigated the narrow winding road that led down to the tiny beachside community where Ross lived.
Sheldon said something she couldn’t quite catch. Viv turned down the volume on The Wiggles and got a squeal of protest from Harry in the back. “Okay, okay.” She cranked “Nicky Nacky Nocky Noo” up again. “Tilly, can you stop kicking the driver’s seat, please?” The kicking continued. Glancing in the rearview mirror she saw her niece had her iPod on.
She could yell louder or she could put up with it. Exhausted, Viv put up with it.
Through a gap in the native bush, she caught her first glimpse of the rugged coastline and pulled into the lookout, where she idled the engine and gazed out over the sea.
Wind-honed land formations forged into the wild surf like the prows of battleships, extraordinarily beautiful. Even the sand had attitude, an uncompromising black. Long rolling dunes, lightly tufted with spinifex and rangy grasses, stretched away to the horizon.
“Why are we stopping?” Tilly complained. “I need to pee.”
“Okay,” said Viv, but delayed releasing the hand brake. If she got out, stood on the cliff’s edge and opened her arms, the wind might reshape her like the dunes into something new and clean.
She didn’t know how to make her peace with this.
Susan had been very kind.
Buoyed by his recovery, so were Johnny’s parents when Viv stopped by the hospital to make a personal apology.
It made her burden of guilt so much heavier.
Ross had to take over the kids until she could pull herself together. With Charlie in Christchurch there was no one else.
His house lay on a ridgeline above the beach, hidden from the road by a narrow unpaved driveway planted either side with a tangle of drought-hardy native shrubs. Elevated to catch the sun, the house was a modest split-level building with salt-silvered board and batten, and a triangulated roofline of blue corrugated iron.
Native bush fanned out from the hardwood decks, which had been built around mature nikau palms, some of which thrust through the deck itself like natural sun umbrellas—an unexpected touch of whimsy. And beyond, she saw jaw-dropping views of a rain-bleached sea.
The shower became a deluge as she unloaded the children. Lightning flashed across the sky.
The kids’ feet clattered on the decking as they bee-lined
for the door. Tilly pounded, Harry hammered. Viv wiped damp palms on Merry’s brown poplin skirt. No one answered the door. Peering through the adjacent window she saw a monastically furnished living room with a cozy wood burner in the corner. “He isn’t home.”
Stupidly it hadn’t occurred to her to phone first, which was precisely why she needed to off-load the kids. She wasn’t thinking straight. She could make another terrible mistake.
Frustrated, Harry rattled the handle, while Tilly jiggled from one foot to the other. “I need to pee now.”
“Give me a minute.” Standing under the overhang, staring out at the rain, Viv gathered her scattered thoughts. There must be a public restroom at the beach. “Everyone back in the Subaru.” It was still pelting down as they left the restroom ten minutes later. They took shelter in the car where Viv let Harry stand in the driver’s seat playing with the steering wheel while she sat in the front passenger seat and considered their options.
Ross could be anywhere and he wasn’t answering his cell. There seemed nothing for it but to turn around and drive the forty-five minutes home.
All she wanted to do was give up. It took her a minute to realize that; despair was such a new sensation for her.
Tilly drooped quietly against the rear passenger door. She shook her head when Viv offered her a chicken sandwich. Her niece’s unhappiness brought Viv to her senses. She was all the parent these two had right now and here she was indulging in a meltdown instead of giving them what they needed.
She straightened in her seat. “Okay, who’s ready to go to the beach?”
Harry forgot about the indicator lights and scrambled over. “Iv.”
“But it’s raining,” Tilly protested.
“So? We all have extra clothes.” She’d expected to drop them at Ross’s so she’d packed them an overnight bag. And there were sweats for her in Merry’s sports kit. “C’mon, it’ll be fun”
“No, it won’t, I’m gonna stay in the car.”
“Suit yourself.”
Harry was already tugging frantically at the door handle. Viv opened it for him and he turned to hang his small legs over the abyss before dropping to the ground, blinking owlishly in the rain. She smiled. “Go, baby.”
