In Service of the Pharaoh (League of Losers Book #2)

by Michael Atamanov

  A flash, and I was standing by the ruined city wall alongside the Philosopher, Avir Tan-Hoshi and the kitten. Right by the spot where we began our journey into Hundred Skull City. The veyer instantly fell to his knees and started saying “vallar!” over and over again, whatever it meant. The Philosopher, whose name ‘Diogenes’ now showed in his character description, shivered.

  “It’s a miracle we survived, Sergeant! Both of us annoyed a very influential power with our actions. I’ve been given a clear warning that my days are numbered. Immortal creatures don’t give out warnings like that lightly. Well, perhaps I don’t have long to live, but I will complete my mission! I will hand down to the next generation the Clapeyron—Mendeleev equation, the Heine—Borel theorem, Avogadro’s law, Kirchhoff’s circuit laws and many more discoveries of physics, chemistry and mathematics! Even several generations hence, humanity will not fall into primitive ignorance. It will preserve the knowledge it has gained over thousands of years!”

  I stood and watched my over-excited companion as he continued to name scientists and the discoveries they had made. Awful, losing so many lives like that all at once. In the Philosopher’s shoes, I’d be beating my fists on the ground in hysterics, decrying the injustice, but my companion was holding up pretty well, even burning with enthusiasm. I clapped Diogenes on the shoulder and leaned down to my cat.

  “Nothing to tell me, dumbass? What did you ask our almighty friend for?”

  “Meow!” was the only answer I got, after which the long-whiskered ginger cat began licking his furry balls enthusiastically.

  I must have overestimated my pet’s intelligence. Maybe he was clever for a cat, but he didn’t quite make it to the status of a sentient creature. Shame. Hey, what was all that about my stats? I opened my character sheet.

  Casanova * learned ability

  +10 to reactions from women of all sentient species.

  +50 to reactions from married women of all sentient species.

  -20 to reactions from married men.

  Uhm… I wasn’t even sure if I should bother appearing in populated areas with stats like these. This really was going to be more curse than blessing.

  Chapter 16 [Kitten]

  The Pharaoh’s People

  HEY, THAT WASN’T fair! There I was, sweating my guts out to level up Translator, greedily grabbing at every unfamiliar word or letter in a foreign language so as to better understand people of other races. Now the veyer had it all for nothing! And my reward of a healed paw was, to put it mildly, not exactly impressive given that the damaged back leg would have healed on its own after a week and a half. I had been given basically nothing. On the other hand, what else could I expect from a member of that team in the Great Game? He had his own interests that didn’t match mine at all. I was lucky I got off lighter than the Philosopher, lucky to be alive!

  ATTENTION! Change in game rules! The Transformation Magic skill now affects transformation spells, increasing the time spent in the transformed state by 1% for each skill level. In addition, the duration of magical creatures and their combat abilities can be enhanced by taking the Shapeshifter ability (added to the list of optional player abilities).

  Woah! Seems I was a little too hasty in my assessment. I opened the data sheet on the newly added Shapeshifter ability and read it. Hmm… +1% Health Points and damage dealt for every skill level, increases the duration of magical forms. Works not only on creatures of Transformation Magic, but also druidic beast forms, all possible temporary mutations of fighters of various classes and a whole range of other cases. Wow, useful ability. A must-have for all kinds of characters of the most varied classes. That was my real reward! I’d take it!

  Level one Shapeshifter skill learned!

  12 of 13 possible character skills at level 28 chosen.

  Hmm, I’d wanted to keep some free skill points for the Translator skill to start talking to those big oafs sooner, but now was one of those times when investing in another skill was very useful and gave a return right away. So I put nineteen of the twenty-nine points I’d saved up into it, leveling up the Shapeshifter skill to twenty — that meant plus 20% to my physical damage dealt as an arachnoscorp or snake, and more survivability, and extra seconds as a transformed creature.

  Actually, even better… I reread the description a few times just to make sure… it said absolutely nothing about increasing only physical damage! And that meant that in incorporeal form or beetle form, my magic would be 20% stronger than when I was a cat! This was a dream come true!

  I put the remaining ten free skill points into the Translator skill as planned, leveling it up to twenty-four. Wonderful! Another eight or nine character levels and my Whiskers would finally be able to talk!

  “What does that word mean, ‘vallar’?” the Philosopher asked in the meantime. Avir Tan-Hoshi answered right away that it meant ‘watcher’ in the language of his people, or more specifically, one of the eleven great immortal beings that created this world, settled it with sentient and non-sentient creatures, and have since then watched over their creation. The plans and aims of the vallars were not for mere mortals to understand. All they could do was live out their lives and be grateful for every day they got, never forgetting to praise the eleven creators. I expected the Philosopher to have some comments on the bird-man’s words, but Diogenes was silent, deciding for some reason to leave the subject alone.

  In the meantime, the big oafs returned to the Dreadnought, and my master started to ask the Thief, who could now understand human speech, how he had ended up in the Cartographer’s cage. The veyer seemed embarrassed at first and didn’t want to talk about it for some time, but in the end he relented. Yes, it was his own dumb fault. He knew perfectly well that the Cartographer was no simple man. But he couldn’t resist — the items in the bags fixed on the dragon’s saddle were just too tempting. And Tina Ur-Ravi, his older and more experienced rival in thievery, made fun of him and dared him to go and prove he was a worthy Thief, then they could talk of more serious matters. So, when the Cartographer went into his tent to ask the flock leaders some questions, Avir Tan-Hoshi decided to seize the day. He quietly glided down from a nearby tree onto the back of the huge fiery lizard, stretched an arm out toward the nearest bag and… a thunderclap, paralysis, and the next thing he knew, he was in the cage.

  He spent twenty days in confinement without a morsel of food or a single chance to spread his wings or stretch his legs. His cruel warden gave him a gulp of water only sometimes, once every three days or so, enough to keep the prisoner alive. In that time, the Cartographer himself visited around thirty large and small villages, met hundreds of players, passed through energy barriers into different sandboxes multiple times and even crossed an ocean. Then one day, when Avir Tan-Hoshi was so weak that he could barely tell reality from his fever dreams, the Cartographer suddenly opened the cage and released the Thief, considering his punishment done.

  The winged boy had no idea where his flock was, with everyone he knew. He suspected it was very far away, on another continent of this huge world. To Sergeant’s next question of what he planned to do next, Avir Tan-Hoshi just shrugged vaguely.

  “If I meet some other veyer tribes, I’ll try to see if I can live with them. In the meantime, I’ll stay with you, if you’ll have me.”

  “An experienced Thief is always nice to have in a team, and you’ve shown your skills,” the Philosopher said.

  Sergeant nodded his approval and started to add something, but fell silent as he saw the view that opened up to us from atop the hill. Half a dozen armed humans stood on the bank next to the raft. They had it surrounded, and they were talking to our friends about something. And, judging by Edward standing by the rotating ballista, the Engineer with his rifle in hand, Julie up on the Marsh Mistress, Varya on her Irosaurus Regina and the creeping crocodiles who had crawled out to help, the negotiations were not going well.

  The leader of the soldiers gestured actively, waving his arms and angrily demanding something fro
m our friends. It seemed a serious conflict was brewing.

  “Forward!” Sergeant commanded without a second thought, and we hurried to help our friends.

  I sat on my master’s shoulder and went invisible so that we had a trick up our sleeve if it came to a fight. But the appearance of three more people on the opposing side sharply lowered the soldiers’ eagerness for battle. They sheathed their swords and moved a few paces away. I didn’t see any firearms, just swords and crossbows, and all their levels were low too. The most experienced of our opponents was a level 35 Gunner with a strange nickname, Papa Dan — a kid with a shaved head and a broken nose, in a leather biker jacket and high army boots. Sweatpants rolled up at the knee completed his silly outfit. I identified him as the leader of all six right away.

  “What the hell are you doing?” my master headed straight for Papa Dan, on the offensive right away. “What do you want with my allies?”

  “You’re all in the lands of the Pharaoh, so you have to pay us, ‘cos we’re in a higher caste,” the bald one answered, although I heard no particular confidence in his voice.

  However, after casting an appraising glance at Sergeant, holding his eyes on the character description for a moment, Papa Dan found his courage again. Level twenty-two and the non-combat Beast Catcher class clearly didn’t impress him.

  “They want to capture us and sell us into slavery, brother!” Julie complained loudly from the saddle of the cruel arachnoscorp.

  “Is that so?” Sergeant’s voice boded nothing well for the strangers.

  “You aren’t from the New Pharaohs guild, so the law gives us the right to arrest you and take you as property,” one of the soldiers spoke up, showing a silver token on a chain around his neck. “We’re from the first caste, and you must obey us! Allow us to tie you up and do not resist!”

  “Did someone hit you in the head, kid?” Sergeant switched his attention to the upstart. “I have four tamed monsters right here who can tear apart your squad in a second. We just defeated a level 80 fiery manticore without taking any losses. And all of us are free humans. We don’t obey your rules. So I don’t give a crap what caste you’re in, dumbass! All of you hand over your tokens and apologize and I’ll let you leave alive. If not, you’ll wake up in the graveyard!”

  Bluntly put, yes, but effective! I saw our opponents exchange nervous glances. They were clearly unprepared for such open rebellion and threatening responses. But Sergeant’s low level obviously confused them, and the commander of the six decided not to back down. A blink, and he was aiming a pistol at Sergeant! I heard Varya Tolmachyova gasp in fear.

  But my master seemed only amused by this show of force.

  “Someone definitely hit you in the head. Papa Dan, have you read my name? Yeah. Sergeant. That’s because I was in the army. And that means I can tell a gas pistol from a real gun. Go ahead, shoot! It won’t work on me — I have almost complete immunity to poisons. You, on the other hand, will die!”

  Papa Dan nervously glanced back at his allies in search of support, the pistol shaking in his hands. The air crackled with tension, so I decided to step in and help my master. Incorporeal form for stronger magic! Paralyze the enemy with the pistol! Time to test out my new skill.

  Shapeshifter skill increased to level twenty-one!

  Curse Magic skill increased to level seventy-five!

  Stealth skill increased to level twenty-seven!

  Wow, it worked great! Papa Dan froze with glazed-over eyes, then slowly fell onto his back like a plank of wood, his arms still outstretched before him. It was more like freezing or petrification than paralysis, in which the victim couldn’t control their weakened muscles. But that didn’t matter, the main thing was that it worked. And I got three skill level-ups at once! That must be my leveling bonus from Hundred Skull City working its magic.

  I suspected everyone there was surprised by the squad commander’s strange behavior. Including Sergeant. But my master played it off beautifully, making as if it was an everyday occurrence for his enemies to fall over for no apparent reason in front of him. He approached the Gunner with an impassive expression on his face, pulled the pistol from his unbending fingers and calmly put it into his bag, then took the token from around the paralyzed man’s neck and hung it around his own. Then he turned to the other five enemies and asked evenly:

  “Does anyone else want to try threatening me?”

  Nobody volunteered. All five looked at the Beast Catcher with open fear, threw their swords and crossbows to the ground, then meekly handed Sergeant the silver tokens that confirmed their membership in the first caste.

  “Pick up your weapons, I don’t need them!” my master generously allowed. “And take this idiot with you. Papa Dan will come round in a few hours, and I really hope he appreciates the lesson on not getting cocky with strangers. Tell your bosses you met some free humans — just like the ones the Pharaoh sent to conquer the eastern lands. We’re no enemies to you, but we won’t let you mistreat us. If your leaders want to know more, tell them to ask a noble of the Pharaoh by the name of Haze. He knows me well.”

  There were no questions. The soldiers picked up their commander’s senseless body and hurried to move away, heading somewhere to the northwest, toward hills overgrown with woods. As soon as they were a safe distance away, the Engineer voiced his concerns:

  “Are you sure that was wise, commander? Now the Pharaoh’s people will never leave us alone. A stronger unit will come, and we won’t be able to deal with them.”

  Sergeant just waved a hand vaguely.

  “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. This is the only way to deal with people like them. They only respect strength. Like in the army, where the vets always try to bring the rookies to heel. They’ll leave you alone if you don’t give in to their threats. But if you show weakness even once, they’ll hound you all your life.”

  “But what if…” the Philosopher didn’t finish his sentence before the Beast Catcher interrupted him.

  “If any really serious players take an interest in our group, not just those small fries, then we’ll find a way to pay for our freedom and prove our worth to the Pharaoh.”

  “But what was that anyway, brother? You have magic now?” Julie changed the subject, climbing down off the giant spider and walking over.

  Sergeant laughed and playfully mussed his sister’s hair.

  “I don’t even know what it was. Looked like a cruel arachnoscorp bite. The exact same symptoms.” Everyone looked at the Marsh Mistress, standing ten paces away from the scene of the event. “But maybe it was one of our Whiskers’ tricks. He’s a Shadow Hexxer after all, and this could be one of his hexes.”

  Wow! I just couldn’t believe my furry ears. After a mere three weeks, my master had finally realized that the kitten on his shoulders was more than just a fluffy scarf. No more questions arose about the paralysis; everyone was more interested in hearing about our group’s adventures in Hundred Skull City and how the veyer could speak to humans now, and soon they were all busy preparing to hunt the Chimeric Cougar in the snow.

  While the others were occupied, Varya approached Sergeant.

  “You’ve changed a lot now that you’ve been through Hundred Skull City, Sergeant,” the Scout said quietly. “You aren’t just higher level, you’re more… more assertive, I guess, more sure of yourself. I haven’t noticed that about you before. I have to admit, it really suits you. Why don’t you and I take a walk over to the hill and back while the others are talking amongst themselves? Without Whiskers. Take the cat off your shoulders. I’d like to talk to you in private, Andrei. We have a lot to talk about.”

  Chapter 17 [Sergeant]

  Mother’s Milk

  I EXPECTED all kinds of things from my conversation with Varya. I even worried that this was my new Casanova ability rearing its dashingly attractive head, making the humble and upstanding girl suddenly decide to shift our friendship up a gear or three. Don’t get me wrong, I found Varya attractive, but she wasn’t the kin
d of girl who would agree to be a side piece. A closer relationship with her meant I could forget about my girlfriend Shelly and all the other beautiful girls I might meet in this world. I wasn’t ready for such a life-changing decision, and abusing Varya’s trust would be mean. That’s why I got nervous well in advance, started thinking of ways to let her down easy, to tell her I wasn’t ready for anything serious.

  But I was wrong. The subject of our conversation was something completely different, although no less important. Whiskers was… me?! My own mind, stuck in a cat’s body?! It wasn’t easy to believe at first, but what the Scout told me really did explain a lot of the strange occurrences with my pet. His conversations with the Cartographer and the ‘vallar,’ a few incredibly timely actions. For example, when the kitten ran up and stepped on the tile in the inner courtyard of the mansion in Hundred Skull City. Back then, I’d thought it was just a coincidence, a dumb animal not understanding the risk of its actions. But Whiskers, as it turns out, had calculated everything and realized that there was no longer any danger, then decided to demonstrate to the group that we could move further. I could remember at least a dozen similar examples of acts that seemed strangely conscious for a kitten.

  “Curse Magic. Weaken and Slow. The ability to restore Stamina Points to allies. Stealth and the ability to turn transparent,” Varya continued to rattle off all she knew about my pet. “And actually, it was Whiskers who told me about the Chimeric Cougar at the mountain pass. The kitten met the cougar practically right after he got to the new world, while waiting for you to revive. The cougar thought he was a cub and took him away to her lair.”