The Case of the Brokenhearted Bulldog

by B R Snow

  “No offense taken,” I said, laughing. “So where are you from originally, Captain Bill?”

  He shrugged. “I was born in Florida. But I was in the Navy for a long time and was all over the place. Europe, the Mideast, Asia. You name the place, chances are I’ve been there. Especially if it’s warm. It’s getting downright cold around here at night. Especially on that boat.”

  I changed my mind and went back to my first guess. Captain Bill and Alice were definitely the couple on the boat.

  “Tell me about it,” Axel said. “And it’s still only September.”

  I glanced back and forth between the two men. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear they were trying to mess with my detective intuitions.

  “I don’t like being on that boat at night,” Alice said, breaking the silence. “After what happened there, it gives me the creeps.”

  “You’ll get used to it,” Captain Bill said.

  “Who knows who might be lurking around?” Alice said.

  “Nobody is lurking anywhere,” Captain Bill said, shaking his head. “Maybe a couple of nosy kids or some local yokels trying to sneak a peek at the boat, but that’s it.”

  I’ve been called nosy many times, and now it rolled off me like water off a duck’s back. And it had been a long time since I’d been called a kid. But local yokel was a first. I didn’t like the term. I glanced at Josie and could tell she wasn’t fond of the expression either.

  “Maybe you’re right,” Alice said. “But I still don’t like being there after dark.”

  “Just hang in there,” Captain Bill said. “We’ll be on the water before you know it.

  I nodded my head. The answer to the final Jeopardy question of The name of the couple on the boat with a shotgun is: Who are Captain Bill and Alice?”

  I glanced at Axel and Sheila and got even further confirmation that I was correct. The way they continued to hold hands and stare into each other’s eyes convinced me that, at night, they probably had a hard time ever getting out of the motel.

  And if we happened to leave them alone for too long tonight, they might have a hard time making it out of the living room.

  Chapter 12

  “Suzy, I’m not saying no,” Josie said, sliding open the door to Tiny’s condo and stepping inside to give the massive Great Dane a bear hug. “How’s my big boy today?”

  Seconds later, Josie was on her back laughing as she fought off Tiny’s answer to her question. He pinned her shoulders to the floor with his front paws and nestled his head against her neck. A long trail of slobber hung from her ear when she finally managed to climb to her feet. She wiped the drool away and played a quick game of tuggy using the towel as the toy. The game didn’t last long because Tiny snatched the towel out of her hand and stood waiting for her to try to grab it.

  We were making our usual morning rounds and stopping by each condo to say good morning to our guests and conduct a quick check to make sure they were all alert and in good spirits. Our progress was slow today since we were still discussing last night’s dinner with the boat crew and debating our next steps. I rubbed Tiny’s head and let him put his paws up on my shoulders and waited until he had finished licking my hands and face.

  “Yes,” I said, laughing as I finally managed to squirm away. “It’s nice to see you, Tiny.”

  We closed the door and headed to the adjacent condo where a two-year-old Beagle named Louie with a bad foot sat waiting thumping his tail on the tile floor. Josie knelt down to examine the bandage.

  “So, if you’re not saying no, that means yes, right?” I said.

  I thought my logic was irrefutable. Not bad for seven-thirty in the morning.

  Josie rose to her feet and made a note on the Beagle’s chart that hung outside the door.

  “No means not now,” Josie said. “I’m not going back on that boat at night until I’m positive there’s no one around.”

  “There’s risk in everything,” I said.

  “My point exactly. I think it’s important to minimize the degree of risk one takes whenever possible. And that’s a little hard to do when getting blasted by a shotgun is part of the equation.”

  Josie glanced over her shoulder as Jill and Sammy entered pushing carts that held large bags of dog food and various treats. They were giggling about something, and they returned Josie’s wave as they approached.

  “Morning, guys,” I said.

  “Hey, Suzy. Morning, Josie,” Jill said.

  They came to a stop in front of us, flashed a quick smile at each other, then waited for Josie to give them her notes on what’s she’d discovered on her morning rounds.

  “Sammy, we need to put a fresh bandage on Louie. I was hoping he’d leave it alone, but he’s chewed right through it.”

  “I’m sorry about that, Josie,” Sammy said, glancing at the Beagle.

  “No, it’s not your fault,” she said. “I forgot to put it in my notes. It’s my mistake. After you get the fresh one on, spray it with a healthy dose of the yuk juice. And this time, I suggest that you believe me when I tell you not to sample it.”

  Jill and I stifled a laugh. The yuk juice was a safe, yet incredibly bitter, concoction that Josie had created to keep dogs from chewing or licking bandages and hot spots. A few months ago despite Josie’s warning, Sammy had convinced himself that it couldn’t taste that bad and had sprayed some on his tongue. Two days later he was still complaining and worried that his sense of taste would never return.

  “It should work, but if it doesn’t we’ll need to consider putting a cone on Louie,” Josie said, checking her notes. “And make sure the cocker spaniel in seventeen eats this morning, okay? She’s been off her food since the surgery. Everyone else seems good so just follow the schedule we discussed at our wrap up yesterday.”

  “Got it,” Sammy said, turning to Jill. “Which side do you want to start from?”

  “I’ll take that end,” Jill said, pointing at the far wall.

  “Cool. I’ll meet you in the middle,” Sammy said, rolling his breakfast cart in the opposite direction.

  We watched as they grinned at each other, then headed for my office.

  “I think their romance is official,” Josie said, stretching out on the couch.

  “Yeah. Good for them,” I said, rummaging through my desk until I found what I was looking for. I held both of the objects up. “I’ve got Fig Newtons and Oreos. Which one do you want?”

  “The Fig Newtons are probably the healthier breakfast choice, right?”

  “Probably,” I said, laughing.

  She pondered the decision for about two seconds.

  “Ah, the heck with it,” she said. “I’ll take the Oreos.”

  I tossed her the pack of cookies and started opening my own.

  “So what’s your take on last night?” I said, popping a Fig Newton into my mouth.

  “It was incredible,” she said, dunking an Oreo into her coffee.

  “That’s disgusting,” I said, watching as she chewed the coffee-drenched cookie.

  “I think the beef stew was my favorite,” she said, reaching for another Oreo and repeating the dunk move.

  “Yes, we all noticed,” I said. “I wasn’t referring to the food.”

  “I know what you were referring to,” she said, wiping her mouth. “It’s just that it’s a little early in the morning to try solving a murder.”

  If Josie was trying to send me a not so subtle hint that she didn’t want to talk about a list of potential suspects, it didn’t work. I decided I needed to talk through some of the thoughts that had been rolling around my head since last night and continued.

  “I’m just not sure about Captain Bill. He plays the old salty seadog role to perfection, but I think there’s something going on with him.”

  “There is,” Josie said. “And it’s Alice.”

  “Oh, good. You caught that,” I said. “What tipped you off?”

  “At first it was the way they looked at each other. Then when she made
a comment about how sometimes heavy is good, and other times it isn’t, I caught her winking at him.”

  “Yeah, I noticed,” I said. “Well, Captain Bill is a big guy. Maybe she’s into heavy.”

  “But he’s very solid,” Josie said. “And obviously strong as an ox.”

  “He’s certainly strong enough to snap someone’s neck,” I said.

  “Yup.”

  “He’s cute in a weird way,” I said.

  “Yeah, I guess. He’s not my type, but I can see why Alice might go for him,” Josie said. “She told me one time during the summer that she’s into older guys.” She paused to look at me before continuing. “And I think she and Jackson might have had a little thing going on for a while.”

  “No way,” I said, stunned by the comment. “Jackson and Alice? Really?”

  “Yeah, you saw last night how devastated she still is about what happened to him. Every time Jackson’s name came up, tears started rolling down her cheeks. And think about it. All those long hours when they were working together. Plus all the time they spent together alone on the police boat. There are lots of places on the River you can go if you want to spend some time alone without anyone knowing about it, right?”

  “Yes, there certainly are,” I said, knowing where many of them were from growing up in the area. “Did Alice ever say anything about Jackson to you?”

  “No, of course not,” Josie said. “But the way they interacted changed as the summer went along. They were very chummy for a while and then it seemed to cool off. I just assumed it ended when Jackson realized that it wasn’t a good idea to be involved with his intern.”

  “Jackson wouldn’t do that,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Maybe not,” Josie said. “But she’s a very attractive young woman. And while Jackson is a lot older than she is, it’s not outside the boundaries. I’ve seen much bigger age differences.”

  “That’s because you’ve been hanging around my mother,” I said, making a mental note to give her a call.

  Josie laughed.

  “How old do you think Captain Bill is?” I said.

  Josie thought about it, then shrugged.

  “I’d guess forty something. Maybe a bit younger,” Josie said. “It’s hard to tell. The sun and wind have taken a toll on him.”

  “That’s probably what gives him that rugged look,” I said.

  “He’s on the suspect list, right?”

  “Oh, yeah,” I said. “He’s definitely on it. What’s your take on Axel and Sheila?”

  “Young love that’s still basking in the initial glow of lust,” Josie said.

  “But they said they’d been together for two years,” I said. “Shouldn’t some of that have worn off by now?”

  “Maybe it has,” Josie said.

  “Now that’s a scary thought,” I said, laughing.

  “Maybe they both just got lucky and found the perfect partner,” Josie said, laughing along. “It happens. Or so I hear.”

  “I can’t see either one of them as a killer,” I said.

  “Me neither,” Josie said. “For them, I think this boat trip to Florida is just an adventure with a paycheck.”

  “Good description,” I said. “An adventure with a paycheck. It must be nice to be young and carefree.”

  “I guess. I always thought it was a bit overrated, but they seem happy.”

  “So the couple is off the list?” I said.

  “Well, let’s not take them completely off it yet. Maybe the paycheck is a lot bigger than we realize at the moment. But I’d be shocked if either one of them was involved,” Josie said.

  “Yeah, so would I,” I said. “Okay, first things first. Let’s see if we can figure out a way to get back on that boat.”

  “You mean, figure out a safe way to get back on it, right?”

  “Of course. That goes without saying. I don’t want to get shot any more than you do,” I said, getting up to refill our coffees.

  “I’m so glad to hear that,” she said, laughing.

  “But how can we make sure we’re safe?” I said.

  Josie sat up on the couch and tucked her legs underneath her. She took a sip of coffee and stared at the collection of dog photos we had hung on one of the walls.

  “I guess one way to be sure would be to start with a list of all the people who have any reason to be on the boat,” she said.

  “Go on,” I said, nodding.

  “And then the next thing would be to make sure we knew exactly where they all were before we tried sneaking back on.”

  “I think I like where this is going,” I said, leaning forward and putting my elbows on the desk.

  “You do?” Josie said. “I’m just babbling. I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about.”

  “No, you’re on the right track,” I said. “If we can figure out a way to get everyone in the same place at the same time, we’d be able to get on the boat and take our time.”

  “And not have to worry about getting shot,” Josie said.

  “Yeah, that would be nice,” I said. “But how do we pull that off?”

  Josie thought for a moment and then slowly nodded her head.

  “It’s like they taught us in scouting. When you’re facing a challenge, do your best to understand the tools at your disposal, and then use them to your full advantage,” Josie said.

  “You were in the Girl Scouts?”

  “Actually, I never made it past the Brownies,” she said, frowning. “That group turned out to be something completely different from their name.”

  I roared with laughter.

  “No way,” I said.

  “Yeah,” she said, laughing. “I thought it was a food club. Boy, was I wrong. But the snacks were pretty good.”

  “Okay, Josie the Brownie, what tools do we have at our disposal?”

  “The way I see it, we have three. We have the ability to create interest in an event, we have the ability to maintain interest in that event, and we have the opportunity to create subterfuge.”

  “English please,” I said, taking a sip of coffee.

  “Jackson will be coming home soon, right?”

  “Yes. By the end of the week at the latest,” I said, nodding.

  “We’ve already talked about throwing him a welcome home party.”

  “And we’ll be inviting everyone, right?”

  “Correct. And everyone will love the chance to see Jackson,” Josie said. “Step one complete. Create interest.”

  “But the boat crew, apart from Alice, doesn’t know him,” I said.

  “No, but that takes us right into Step two. You saw how much they loved Chef Claire’s food last night.”

  “Well, it was a bit hard at times to see through the sparks your knife and fork were throwing off, but yeah.”

  “Funny. And this from the woman who polished off three bowls of chili and half a baking sheet of jalapeno cornbread,” Josie said, glaring at me. “All we need to do is get the word out that Chef Claire will be catering the party and they’ll be there. And if we work with Chef Claire to stagger her menu that will solve all our Step Two problems.”

  “Maintaining interest?”

  “Correct,” Josie said.

  “What do you mean by stagger?”

  “On the invitation, we can say something like Chef Claire will be serving her famous whatever at eight o’clock, then her next famous whatever at nine, and so on.”

  “That’s perfect. Nobody would leave the party early for fear of missing out.”

  “It’s highly unlikely,” Josie said. “That leaves us with Step Three, creating subterfuge.”

  “That’s an easy one,” I said. “All we’d need to do would be to create a fake dog emergency and leave the party to deal with it.”

  “Well done. You got it in one. We can just leave a car down at the Inn and drive into town from there. Nobody would be the least bit suspicious.”

  “No, they wouldn’t,” I said. “In fact, our leaving a party to take care
of a sick dog is exactly what everyone would expect us to do.”

  “Plus, they’ll all be thinking, more food for me,” Josie said, laughing.

  “How long do you think we’ll need to explore the boat?” I said, frowning.

  “I have no idea,” Josie said. “Why do you ask?”

  “I’d just hate to miss out on any of Chef Claire’s famous whatevers.”

  Chapter 13

  “Good morning, Jackson,” I said, beaming at him.

  “You’re looking good,” Josie said, following me to his bedside.

  “Hi, guys,” Jackson said, sitting up even further. “Thanks, Josie. How good would that be?”

  Jackson gave her a coy smile, folded his arms across his chest, and struck a pose.

  “Not that good,” Josie said, laughing. “You must be feeling better.”

  “Much better. And thanks for coming,” he said.

  His head was still bandaged but all the tubes and monitors he’d been hooked up to the last time we were here were gone. His eyes were clear and focused on the box I was holding.

  “Is that a Paterson’s box?” he said.

  “It is,” I said. “We have a dozen of their famous chocolate chip cookies for you.”

  “You shouldn’t have,” he said, accepting the box.

  “We didn’t,” I said. “Actually, we bought two dozen.” I glanced at Josie, who was doing her best to ignore me. “Somebody couldn’t control herself on the drive down.”

  “Hey,” Josie said, “You ate three. And I was the one who suggested we get two dozen just in case, remember?”

  Jackson laughed then winced and touched the bandage on his head.

  “Dang headaches,” he whispered. “The doctor said I should expect to have them for a while.”

  “Can we get you anything?” I said.

  “No, I’m due for my meds in a few minutes,” he said, shifting around to get more comfortable. “Man, this place is getting old. I can’t wait to get out of here on Friday.”