Under the Northern Lights

by Tracie Peterson

  He walked back to Jayce and Leah’s, all the while wondering if he’d made a mistake. With Chase dead, there was no reason for Helaina to remain in Alaska—no reason for her to be in Last Chance. No reason at all.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Helaina thought she could be strong and cooperate with Jacob’s decision to take her to Nome, but with each mile they passed, she was less certain it was going to work. She’d completely surprised herself by falling in love with Jacob Barringer. What she thought at first was just infatuation with the tawny brown-haired man had turned into something different.

  As they traveled she thought of her late husband, Robert, and how he had been her heart and soul. Robert had made her feel protected and loved. She had been a delicate possession in his care. Jacob, on the other hand, expected her to have skill and endurance. While he offered her protection, he also expected her to be independently capable of fending for herself. She liked that. While she’d never thought it possible to fall in love again, that was exactly what had happened.

  To her surprise the sled slowed and Jacob leaned down. ‘‘There’s a storm moving in. See the heavy clouds to the west and south?’’

  She looked and nodded. The dark clouds and the sea had closed on the horizon and the wind had picked up, dropping the temperature. She recognized the signs. ‘‘What do you want to do?’’

  ‘‘We’ll need to make camp for the night—or as long as the storm lasts. I’ve seen them last for days up here,’’ he announced. ‘‘I’ll look for a good spot and we’ll stop.’’

  In another mile he made good on his word as he brought the sled to a halt. ‘‘This will give us as much cover as we can hope for.’’

  Helaina glanced around at the barren landscape. There wasn’t much in the way of protection. ‘‘I’ll help you set up the tent,’’ she offered.

  ‘‘That would be good. We’ll get it done much quicker, and then I can see to the dogs. I think we’ll have an hour or so before things get really bad. I’ll start a fire first and see about getting some snow melted and some food thawing. It’ll be much faster than just relying on the oil stove.’’

  Jacob was quite proficient in his tasks. At times Helaina could almost swear there were two of him. ‘‘I’ll need you to gather more driftwood once we have the tent up,’’ he told her. Helaina nodded her agreement, all the while checking the skies to see how close the storm might be.

  They worked well together. Jacob showed her how to scrape snow from the camp to make a little indention for their dwelling. He talked of using the snow for insulation. ‘‘I’ve been out before with John and we cut ice houses. He’s very good at it, and I can hold my own, but it isn’t easy. It’s not fast either. They are, however, surprisingly warm.’’

  ‘‘I was amazed to hear that so many people lived in tents during the gold rush in this area. You said you were a part of the Yukon gold rush. Did you live in a tent?’’

  ‘‘We did,’’ Jacob said. ‘‘The tents were pretty large, and we had bigger stoves than the little ones we use here. There were times when we lived with a lot of people in one tent. Other times there weren’t but a few. People lived in those tents even when it was forty below.’’

  ‘‘I can’t even imagine. Everything up here seems so extreme— so unusual.’’

  ‘‘It’s definitely a life of sacrifice. But I wouldn’t be anywhere else. I love Alaska.’’

  She said nothing, not sure that she could respond without giving away her feelings.

  ‘‘You’ve probably noted that most of our tents have floors,’’ Jacob said as he fought the frozen ground to secure the stakes. ‘‘That’s Leah’s doing. She felt more secure and definitely warmer. She bought duck canvas and put it together herself.’’

  ‘‘I do prefer it,’’ Helaina admitted. ‘‘I feel less exposed. It was ingenious. Leah really ought to patent the idea and sell it to Sears, Roebuck and Company.’’

  Jacob laughed. ‘‘I’ll tell her she can be a tentmaker like Paul.’’

  ‘‘Paul who?’’

  Jacob looked up. ‘‘He’s in the Bible. He wrote much of the New Testament.’’

  ‘‘Oh, the man who was called Saul. The one who persecuted the Christians?’’

  Jacob nodded. ‘‘I’m impressed. You’ve been reading.’’

  ‘‘I’ve been asking a lot of questions too.’’ She worked to get the tent poles positioned. ‘‘Did your sister tell you that I made my peace with God?’’

  Jacob seemed surprised. ‘‘No. No, she didn’t. I suppose I really didn’t give her a lot of time to tell me anything. I heard about the baby, though. That’s very exciting for her. Exciting, too, that you would give your heart to Jesus. What changed your mind?’’

  ‘‘You did. You and Leah both. I was amazed at how you handled difficulties and trials. You always seemed to have such peace. It was quite maddening, actually.’’ She grinned and got to her feet.

  ‘‘Come on, let’s get this thing up so that we can unload the sled. We can talk about this all night if need be.’’ Jacob manhandled the tent into shape and soon had it erected. ‘‘There. That ought to hold us.’’

  Helaina gathered driftwood while Jacob saw to the dogs. They were quite efficient, she thought. We would make a good team—a good husband and wife. She looked up suddenly at the thought— almost fearful that Jacob would have heard her.

  ‘‘I’ve got to stop thinking that way,’’ she murmured to herself. Refocusing on her task, Helaina felt her hands trembling. She tried to pretend it was simply the cold, but her fingers were plenty warm inside her sealskin mittens. She looked to where Jacob finished watering the dogs. The wind was starting to blow harder and it made her steps more uncertain. Jacob didn’t seem in the least bit bothered by the weather. He took it all in stride, as though it were nothing more troubling than an ocean breeze.

  I’ve never planned to remarry. I’ve never wanted to risk loving someone again. This is a dangerous land. It would be easy to lose him up here—see him killed by a bear. Just like Chase. But it had been simple enough for thugs to kill her parents and Robert in an affluent New York neighborhood. Perhaps life was fraught with dangers no matter where you were, and a person just had to endure.

  ‘‘That’s enough wood,’’ he called above the wind. ‘‘Go ahead and get in the tent. Get the oil stove lit. That will help to warm up the place.’’

  Helaina slipped inside the tent. It wasn’t much more than seven by seven and smelled of old seal oil. She thought of the close quarters and wondered how she would ever rest comfortably knowing that Jacob was just a few feet away. When they’d planned this trip he had figured to sleep in the sled, but with a storm approaching, she wondered if he would spend the night with her in the tent. He would at least take refuge here for a time, and that would put them in very close proximity to each other.

  By the time Jacob joined her she had the stove going and the chill off the air. It was still cold, but not so much that she couldn’t discard her mittens.

  ‘‘Feels a lot better in here. Oh, it’s starting to snow. I think we’ve had more snow this winter than most.’’ To her surprise he pulled off his parka and set it aside.

  ‘‘Won’t you get cold? I mean colder?’’ she asked, motioning to his coat.

  ‘‘Momentarily, but if I keep it on I’ll start to sweat, and that could be deadly. It’s important to layer yourself properly up here and pace your work so that you don’t sweat. Otherwise you risk freezing even if you’re amply dressed. It’s a mistake a lot of people make up here.’’

  ‘‘It is a completely different world.’’ She thought about her own parka and finally decided to take it off. ‘‘I feel foolish,’’ she said, carefully putting it aside.

  He laughed. ‘‘You won’t. You’ll warm up with both of us in here and the stove going. You’ll see.’’

  She rubbed her arms for a moment, more out of nervousness than cold. ‘‘Emma and Leah helped me dress, so I suppose I’ll be fine.’�
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  Jacob nodded and started to put together their supper. ‘‘I hope you don’t mind more caribou.’’

  ‘‘Actually no. I prefer it to the seal and whale meat. I suppose we all have our preferences. I can’t imagine what my friends in New York will say when I tell them of the things I’ve eaten. They might even think such things delicacies, but I doubt I’ll ever see muktuk on the menu at Delmonico’s.’’

  ‘‘What’s that—a restaurant?’’

  ‘‘Yes. A very popular place at one time. Although that poor establishment is having a fierce time of it. The war has changed everything.’’

  ‘‘Truly? Even though we’re not at war here in the United States?’’

  Helaina nodded. ‘‘It’s more felt on the East Coast, I’m sure. The businesses in New York and Boston that were dealing heavily with imports from the European countries are suffering. It affects our economy even if we aren’t involved. Although, sadly, I believe we will be involved before much longer. I’m not sure how we can avoid it.’’

  ‘‘I guess the war doesn’t seem very real here in Alaska. I read up on it in Seattle, but even there it seemed almost the stuff of fables.’’

  ‘‘I assure you it’s not. I was in England and France at the outbreak and then later when fighting was well under way. It’s a horrible situation—one that will require clear heads to prevail. I don’t know if that will include American heads or not, but it seems that we must do something.’’

  Jacob warmed the stew Leah had prepared for them, then took out two tin plates. He’d managed to unthaw some sourdough bread by the fire and placed a big piece on each plate before pouring the thick stew alongside. ‘‘This should definitely warm us up.’’

  They ate in relative silence while the wind gathered strength and the storm moved ashore. Helaina worried about their safety and about whether the dogs would be able to endure, but Jacob assured her those animals had survived much worse.

  ‘‘I remember a time when a blizzard held us captive for two weeks. It was something else. I’d tie a rope onto myself and then to the house, and every day go out like that to feed and water the dogs.’’

  ‘‘Why didn’t you just bring the dogs inside?’’

  ‘‘There were over sixty of them, for one thing,’’ Jacob mused. ‘‘But they would also lose their conditioning if I let them live inside. They were fine outside. They all have little houses, as you know, but usually they just sleep outside. They have thick coats and they sleep with their noses tucked against their bodies and their tails wrapped around them. I’m sure you’ve seen it. They’re a hardy bunch to be sure.’’

  ‘‘The people are hardy too,’’ Helaina replied. ‘‘They are incredible. I wasn’t sure how to take them at first. They seemed very quiet and not at all interested in me.’’

  ‘‘You were a snob at first,’’ Jacob countered. ‘‘You acted rather poorly toward them.’’

  Helaina thought back on it and nodded. ‘‘I suppose I did at that. I don’t feel that way now.’’

  ‘‘God has a way of softening our hearts. You’ll find that things are different, and they’ll keep changing as you grow closer to the

  Lord. That’s where I see God making a difference in our everyday life. Having eternal salvation is one thing, but letting God make you a new heart for the day-to-day living is something else.’’

  ‘‘It’s like seeing life through someone else’s eyes,’’ Helaina said. ‘‘I don’t know how it will be once I’m home again.’’

  Jacob frowned, then looked away quickly. ‘‘I’m sorry you’ll have to wait so long. It will probably be June before the first ships make it up to Nome.’’

  Helaina regretted even mentioning returning to New York. She wanted to take the words back as soon as they were out of her mouth. ‘‘I’m in no hurry’’ was all she could say.

  The hour grew late, and once dinner was concluded and everything cleaned up and put away, Helaina felt rather awkward. ‘‘Will you . . . are you . . . staying here tonight?’’

  Jacob looked at her sheepishly. ‘‘I hope you don’t mind. I’m a very honorable man, however. I’ll sleep in the sled like I promised . . . if that makes you feel better.’’

  ‘‘No, it’s all right that you’re here. I couldn’t send you out there. It would be too cruel.’’

  ‘‘I’ve slept in the sled on many occasions,’’ Jacob replied. ‘‘In fact, I wouldn’t have even brought a tent had it not been for you. It just cuts down on my ability to bring back goods to Last Chance. Of course, I could store the tent in Nome since you won’t be coming back with me.’’

  Helaina felt heartsick and turned away. ‘‘I’m tired. I suppose I’ll try to sleep.’’

  ‘‘Probably a good idea. If the weather clears we can get an early start.’’

  She nodded. She started to say something about not wanting him to go back to Last Chance without her, but it seemed completely inappropriate, so she said nothing.

  Days later in Nome, Jacob was still thinking about how uncomfortable it had been staying with Helaina alone in the tent. He was awake for a long time that night just listening to her breathing and wondering if there could ever be a future for them. There was so much he didn’t know about her world—so many ways he didn’t fit in. And she certainly had trouble adapting to his world.

  To Jacob’s relief he found Nome still had a plentiful supply of goods. He left the furs and gave his list to one of his more trustworthy suppliers, then went in search of the Pinkerton agents they’d left behind. He went to the last place he’d left them and found them both still gainfully employed by the Nome police department.

  They were content with their jobs and lives in Nome. Maybe too content. Each man indicated he had no desire to leave for the States.

  ‘‘This is proving to be a good town for me,’’ Butch Bradford told Jacob. ‘‘I got me a wife and little place to live. I plan to stay.’’

  ‘‘I’m pretty sure I’m stayin’ as well,’’ Sam Wiseford added. ‘‘I like the isolation.’’

  ‘‘What about Mrs. Beecham?’’ Jacob questioned. ‘‘She’ll need an escort to the States come summer. Wouldn’t one of you be willing to accompany her?’’

  ‘‘Summer’s when they’ll need us most. I won’t be goin’ anywhere,’’ Bradford said. ‘‘Sorry.’’ The smaller man nodded in agreement. Jacob spent the rest of his time in Nome trying to figure out what should be done about it. He didn’t feel comfortable leaving Helaina to fend for herself until spring, but he also didn’t feel that he could take her back to Last Chance.

  He sat at dinner, wondering how in the world he could fit all the pieces together, when Helaina came in to join him. He hadn’t been sure she would come, but now that she was here he felt mesmerized by her beauty. She was dressed in her Inupiat clothes, which rather surprised but pleased him.

  ‘‘I figured you’d be anxious to dress in your old things,’’ he said, getting up to help her be seated.

  ‘‘It’s too cold for that.’’ She took her seat and added, ‘‘I’m not the same woman I was last summer.’’

  He nodded. ‘‘I know.’’ His voice was barely audible.

  ‘‘Did you order?’’

  ‘‘I did. They have a nice caribou roast, vegetables, and pie for dessert.’’

  She nodded and motioned to the waitress, who looked old enough to be her grandmother. ‘‘I’ll have what he’s having. As well as some hot coffee. I see you’ve already had some.’’

  Jacob’s cup was already empty. ‘‘It’s good. Pretty strong, though.’’

  Helaina waited until the old woman walked away before beginning the conversation. ‘‘Jacob, I came here to say something, and I hope you’ll hear me out.’’

  He leaned back in his chair. She had that look on her face, that same determined look she always got when she was up to something. This time, however, it made him smile. ‘‘I guess I don’t really have a choice, now do I?’’

  She shook her hea
d. ‘‘No, you don’t. If you won’t listen to me here, I’ll follow you all over Nome until you do.’’

  He laughed. ‘‘Then you’d best get to it.’’

  ‘‘Well,’’ she began, folding her hands and striking a serious pose, ‘‘I want you to take me back to Last Chance when you leave tomorrow.’’

  He met her blue eyes. She held his gaze and continued, though he barely heard her words. ‘‘I can’t stay here, especially when every place I’ve checked out is costly and hardly concerned with safety. I would be much better off in Last Chance. If I go back with you, I can help Leah and Emma through the winter and then head home in the spring. I could even accompany the Kjellmanns when they leave and be perfectly safe.’’

  ‘‘I hadn’t really thought of that,’’ Jacob admitted.

  ‘‘Emma said I was more than welcome to stay with them through the winter. The children are fond of me, and frankly, I’ve grown quite fond of them.’’

  Jacob knew that what she said made sense. ‘‘Are you sure you wouldn’t feel more comfortable here? You would have more access to supplies.’’

  ‘‘I would be very lonely. Please, Jacob, don’t leave me here.’’

  He dropped his gaze to the table. How can I take her there and stay too? He wondered for a moment how he might live in the same village—in the same close company—and not make himself completely miserable or act the fool. He was already in love with her, yet he knew she would never be able to adapt to life in Alaska and forsake all she was accustomed to. And he would never leave Alaska. There was no reason to continue the relationship—it would only cause them more pain in the long run.

  ‘‘Jacob, I need for you to do this for me.’’

  He looked up. ‘‘Why?’’ Something in her tone told him she had something completely different on her mind—something she wasn’t saying.

  Helaina was the one to look away this time. ‘‘I . . . well . . . I know I can stay strong there.’’

  ‘‘Strong?’’

  She nodded but still didn’t look at him. ‘‘Strong in the Lord.