Past Lives

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  But it was also the exact villa and terrace that Melissa remembered from her lively dreams.

  It took her a few minutes to recover from that realization, until her logical mind had deduced that those elves could have picked Hermes' mind for the memory of this place as easily as they had rifled through everyone else's private thoughts.

  Then she managed to give her attention to the house again, as they walked the gallery to its one end, a dead end with another view of the bluest of seas. Then they changed direction and found that this side of the gallery

  led back to the main part of the villa. There was a door ending up in a hall, and in that hall were several doors, one of which went down to the cellar where they had come from.

  And one to a separate privy and communal bathing chamber, with a large pool, standing empty, and several smaller tubs, also empty. The design was beautiful, mosaic everywhere, even the tubs were tiled depressions rather than metal affairs. There was no boiler in sight, but of course it might be hidden. Lukas answered their unspoken thoughts: 'It all works with magic. I'll show you after lunch, or maybe tomorrow.'

  Back in the hall, there was yet another door, which led into the kitchen, but that was the domain of Ophius, for he took his job seriously and told them their every wish was his command. The dishes he was preparing looked heavenly.

  Retiring to the terrace they sat in the comfortable chairs, enjoying the view over the sea, as Lukas explained that this was not Hermes' main home, but merely the place where he had kept his one wife, Lukas' mother, and where Lukas had grown up, always in the company of his mother, and regularly in that of his father, who had lived with them a lot of his time, often out to do his duty to the gods, but coming home to his favourite wife almost every night.

  After she had died unexpectedly when Lukas was twenty, Hermes had instantly stopped coming, had dropped all contact with his son, who had lived there for one more year, alone with the staff, totally dependent on them at first because the mosaic was the only easy entrance and it needed a Gift to operate, however slight.

  Telling his friends about the time just after his mother's decease, Lukas remembered his grief at having lost not only his mother, but also his father, who had been very much a part of his life until then.

  He told them: 'Of course the staff, especially Ophius, did their very best to help me cope, they took me where I wanted to go, but I resented my dependence upon them.

  I had always shared my love freely, but now I became positively promiscuous, making love to someone else every night, taking them home with me if they had the Gift to activate the spell, staying with them if they hadn't.

  After a month or so I decided to become less dependent, so I started to

  explore the surroundings of the villa. It was quite dangerous, you can see the drop if you stand on the edge of the terrace, but I didn't care. Maybe I hoped to fall down one day. Anyway, I soon found a route down the cliff that I could use to get to a path, and from there of course I could roam the coastal area easily on hoof, I was already very quick on my feet.

  My territory expanded, and I loved every woman and a lot of men who were willing to give me a night's release from my loneliness, staying away from home for weeks at a time, seeking love and often finding it for a few days, or weeks, until I wandered away again.

  Then about a year after my mother had passed away, one of my father's other wives heard of my plight and invited me to live with her. My father never spent much time with her, not even to give her a child of her own, and still she loved him and was faithful to him, preferring to spend her time alone rather than be untrue to her own feelings.

  I visited to meet her, and we liked one another instantly, so I moved in with Ophelie and we talked a lot, about my mother, and my father, and loads of other things. She was very faithful to my father, so I never even thought of loving her, instead I went out regularly to seek lovers, and found plenty. But I never took them home with me anymore, and I never stayed over more than one night, usually I left in time to spend the night at home, so I could have breakfast with Ophelie and talk familiarly with her before finding another lover.

  But after half a year I found myself thinking of her more and more, losing sleep over her, neglecting other lovers, feeling my loneliness even when spending time with the object of my love. And we had one glorious night together, in a moment of weakness, when Hermes had forgotten her birthday and had left her waiting all day, and broken-hearted at night.

  I comforted her and was comforted myself, I thought I had finally found the love of my life, even though she was ten years my senior and married to my father.

  But the next morning she felt no love for me, only regret at what had happened, and when Hermes visited that very day with a lovely present and a very good excuse why he had not been able to come the day before, her regret deepened and though she never blamed me, she never touched me again either, not even in normal social interaction.

  I was devastated and became more promiscuous than ever, staying away for days and even weeks again, becoming ever more fey in my conquests,

  never without consent of my lover, but often against the will of family and friends, narrowly escaping attempts on my life and challenges from fathers and brothers.

  Ophelie was still always there for me, and when she turned out to be expectant I behaved myself for a while, no longer tempting fate with forbidden love. But the loneliness was always there, and I still sought to fill it up with lover after lover, never succeeding.

  Until Katarina was born and we became parents of a sort, for Hermes never gave up any time to her, and still only rarely to her mother. I was very happy with our little family for years, sharing my love with willing ladies whenever I felt like loving, raising Katarina with her mother, being her partner in every respect but the physical, until my father needed someone to place in Dionysus' court and he thought of me.

  I could no longer live with Ophelie or Katarina, and though Dionysus did all he could to make me feel at home, turned out a good master and even a good friend, I missed my family, spending my nights sharing love, over and over again, until I went to my father's main house on Dionysus' business one day, went to sleep in a guest chamber, and woke up in the world where the portal is. The rest, you know.'

  Lukas' elation was a bit dampened by the memories that the villa had stirred in him, but somehow they weren't as strong as they used to be, not as painful anymore. Being finally happy in love he no longer felt lonely, and the newly gained detachment also worked on his older memories.

  Still, Melissa was affected by his tale, and she observed: 'You're not sleeping in your own room, are you? I don't know why you have your own bed, but I don't want you all alone in there with these memories.' Lukas replied: 'I guess my father meant well, but if Paul agrees I'd much rather stay with you.'

  Looking at his bossy friend for his reaction, he noticed that Paul looked different somehow, even more ravishing, wait a minute, younger, much younger actually.

  'What is it, Lukas?' Paul asked, 'you look as if you've seen a miracle. Are you so surprised I'd rather have you with us than alone in a lonely bed?'

  'No Paul,' Lukas replied, still amazed, 'you didn't even answer my question yet, well, actually you did just now, and thank you so much for that, but I looked at you in surprise because you look twenty again, awake and all.

  You're so gorgeous I could eat you.'

  Melissa nodded and observed: 'You are, and you do. Gorgeous enough to eat, and look twenty years old.'

  'All right, enough is enough,' Paul said, suddenly bashful, 'are you two trying to make me blush? I want to see for myself, you're just fooling me around.' Lukas ran inside and fetched a mirror, and held it up for Paul to see himself.

  Paul had always been of two minds about his looks. On the one hand, he rather liked the effect of seeming older than his age, it gave him an air of authority, and since he liked to have his way and be taken seriously, it served him well.

  But on the other h
and, he knew he was handsome, and he liked being handsome, and whilst looking nearly thirty didn't make him look old yet, there was bound to come a time that looking ten years older would. And besides, since he had found the love of his life, he wanted to be as good-looking as he could to keep Melissa interested in him.

  He had gotten used to his face as it showed up in the mirror, and he knew she had fallen in love with him as he looked when they met, but when she had told him he looked much younger asleep it he became afraid she would rather have him look his real age all the time.

  So when Lukas arrived with the mirror, he looked at his own reflection expectantly, and he was not disappointed. His features were the same, the same finely chiselled, noble features his father showed, Paul knew exactly what he would look like when he was fifty, but the lines in his face were much smoother, all the worries and doubts he carried with him were removed. He saw a young man looking out of the mirror at him, very young, almost a boy still.

  He was stunned. 'I do look younger, almost too young, I'm not a boy anymore, am I?'

  'No, you are a beautiful, caring, immensely strong husband,' Melissa said,

  'you only look like a boy about to run to his mother.' That last was said very cheekily, and she planted a kiss on his smooth forehead.

  'But,' Paul asked out loud, 'if my sense of responsibility made me look older, does that mean that I will do irresponsible things now?'

  Lukas nodded fervently, and Melissa said: 'You most definitely will, yes, very irresponsible. This is our holiday after all.'

  'And remember,' Lukas added, 'this is a totally different world to yours.

  Our customs will almost certainly tempt you to do things that will seem very irresponsible to you.' And when they found out exactly how irresponsible, Lukas would be there for them to set things right again, for they had made his loneliness a thing of the past, and he loved both of them to distraction.

  At that moment, Ophius came in with their lunch, and it was very clear that he was happy to see Lukas again, for it was opulent. Bread, cheeses, nuts, olives, salads, everything looked fresh and healthy and delicious.

  Despite living in an English city, Paul was used to eating light meals like this, and Melissa had adapted to his taste with pleasure, finding it easier to enjoy meals and still keep her weight acceptable if everything she ate was not laden with meat, cream and sugar, as it was in traditional English food. They both tried everything with relish.

  But Lukas, he was just a joy to behold, he had missed this food so much, the quality of the cheese and the olives, it just couldn't be matched. He ate very slowly, to make it last as long as he could, in ecstasy over every morsel he tasted, and he always ate a lot despite his slight frame, so his intense pleasure lasted quite some time.

  Ophius sat down next to him, watching Lukas eat with as much relish as they had been eating Ophius' cooking. He clearly loved Lukas very much, it showed in his whole demeanour, and Lukas thrived on it. Observing this, Melissa lost her fear of Lukas growing up past his innocence and his rakishness, Lukas had just been elevated from self-appointed loser to god, and he still felt even the smallest expressions of love intensely. The guileless man she had come to love so much, even though he had complicated her relationship with her true love often, was still the same innocent creature he had ever been.

  She had never had real, fresh olives, and she had to really get used to their unusual taste, but at that very moment, the taste of olives to her became forever linked to a solid conviction that Lukas would be a force for good no matter what happened.

  After watching Lukas eat for some time, Ophius said: 'Your father will get a mighty surprise when he returns home tonight. He told me you had developed a strong Gift, but I don't think he expected this.' Lukas asked, between two bites: 'Do you thing he will mind very much?'

  The older man shook his head with the heavy horns, and replied: 'I don't think so, he has always had a special place for you in his heart, though for a

  long time he couldn't find it in him to show you his love. Your mother's passing hit him very hard, she was his favourite, and you reminded him of her very much.

  Besides, he needs your powers, he is in tremendous trouble, with your sister's cult, but also with his own father and siblings. They want him to put the revolt down with force, set an example. Your sister is in grave danger, and all her followers with her.

  Your father wants to save her, he has neglected her too, he has no influence over her, and neither has her mother. I would have loved to keep you here a little longer, but if you want to prevent a tragedy from happening, you will need to act fast.'

  Lukas nodded and asked straightforwardly: 'What about those rumours that were spread about me, will they undermine my position?'

  A short bark of a laugh was followed by a blunt remark: 'You have been away for too long, Lykos, or maybe you never knew because you didn't have any magic. But where do you think all that power within you comes from?'

  Lukas did not understand of course, he had never had any interest in power before.

  Spotting this, Ophius said: 'Let me explain. Have you ever noticed how everyone you have ever been in contact with loves you?'

  At Lukas' incredulous look, Ophius added: 'Well, maybe excepting half a dozen fathers and brothers, but yes, everyone who associates with you, loves you. People remember you fondly, whenever they hear your name they think of you with love. All that love translates into power, Lykos, you're a god now, people who think of you with love are your worshippers.'

  Lukas' mouth fell open.

  'Someone spreading a nasty rumour has no influence on your reputation, Lykos, no-one will believe it. But every time they hear of it, talk about it, deny it, they think of you with love, and the power of their feeling is yours.

  You are a force to be reckoned with, Lykos, you have worshippers everywhere, even in the courts of your father and Dionysus. You may be a new god, but you are not the least of them, thanks to whoever made up and spread that foolish rumour.'

  Ophius was not keeping their conversation to themselves, so Paul and Melissa could hear every word of it. Of course Melissa only understood half, and since she missed a lot of explanations,she didn't get the meaning of what she heard at all. As soon as he had his composure back, Lukas summarized

  what Ophius had told him, and this silenced all of them for some time.

  Then Paul broke the silence by asking: 'How does magic work here, then?

  Do you have ley-lines, nodes?'

  Ophius' face was a study in incomprehension: 'What's a node?'

  Paul explained, and Ophius shook his head, and replied: 'We don't have those, all that power you talk of is taken up by a god, large or small, and all the love of their worshippers too. Then when someone wants to practice magic, they use their own magic power, or they ask their god, and are granted the power, or not. If they are a favourite, they may get a permanent link to their god, getting all the power they need.

  Master Hermes told me he nearly died on your world because he had no worshippers there. Gods never wonder where their power comes from, they have plenty.

  But you know now, Lykos, so keep treating everyone well and you will always have plenty of power. You have my love.' This last was said almost shyly, and Lukas melted on the spot, sitting on Ophius' lap and hugging him lovingly.

  Paul had translated Ophius' Greek as he spoke it, and Melissa narrowed her eyes and tried her sight. So much had changed! Paul was full of blue power, but he also had a lot of pink power now, weirdly enough since he was clearly very human.

  Lukas had the blue he'd always had, and loads and loads of that clean red power. He was also gathering the green power, quite a lot of it actually, diffusing right into his body, as she had witnessed in Hermes. He was well and truly a god here, including a right load of worshippers.

  As soon as she had a grip on what she had seen, she asked Paul to translate for her, and asked Ophius through him: 'Do you know why Paul has the power love gives, when he d
idn't have that on our world, and why Lukas doesn't have that anymore, when he had loads of it on our world?' She noticed Paul said Lykos instead of Lukas.

  Ophius stared at her, and rattled off a lot of Greek, and Lukas answered proudly: 'She can see right through virtually anything.'

  Then Paul said: 'He wondered how you can see that, and he says what you probably see is the power a god gives to the worshippers he loves. The gods harvest all the power, and re-distribute it to their followers. Lukas made love to both of us, and that would bestow a lot of his power onto us.

  Do you realize what that means, you two?'

  Lukas and Melissa both stared at his stricken expression. 'It means that we have only a fraction of the power available that we're used to, Melissa.

  Everything else we'll have to beg Lukas for. Our roles are reversed in this world!'

  Lukas was stunned, and not pleased, and he quickly said: 'I'll give both of you a direct line, Paul, you'll have all the power you need.'

  But Paul had calmed down a lot already, and said: 'Actually, Lukas, this may be a good thing, remember I wanted to become more subtle? Having a limited supply of power is the best way to learn subtlety. Let me start out with my personal stash, and if I need more I'll pray for it.'

  This last statement had Lukas all shy again, and he moved from Ophius'

  lap to Paul's, clinging to his neck and nuzzling his bare skin, having his horns scratched just a tiny bit by his strong friend. He surrendered to the caress, until Paul said: 'But how will you know I really love you from now on?

  Maybe I just want a bit more power.'

  Lukas sat up instantly, then laughed hopelessly and leaned back against Paul: 'I just know you worship me, Paul, I just know.'

  And then Ophius spoke in Greek again, and Paul asked Melissa, not stopping his caressing of Lukas' horns: 'Ophius wants to know if you can see the power in him.'

  And Ophius asked Lukas something too, to which Lukas said: 'I broke them off, no-one has horns in my new world, so I had to, to be able to go outside.'