Past Lives

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  But now his son had attacked him without even giving him the benefit of the doubt, and he would certainly leave as he had threatened, leaving his father and sister to the tender mercies of the other gods and Hermes' enemies.

  All was lost, and Hermes didn't want to face any of the consequences anymore, he just wanted to be at peace for a while. He rolled himself into a ball and broke contact with everything.

  A voice pleaded: 'Father, I acted in sudden anger, I'm sorry. I guess I still resented you using me all my life, I was afraid you were still planning to use the people I love most. Please come back to me, I will help you, on my own if needed. I love you father, please come back.'

  There was no reaction, ordinary healing was not going to solve this, his father suffered from a severe mental trauma, and Lukas was going to have to use his Gift on him, the kind of healing that usually ended in lovemaking. He hoped this wouldn't drain him to death, he couldn't make love to his father after all to pay the price.

  Releasing his Gift, he found out that when a god broke down, he had his reasons, and he broke down good. Centuries of old hurt, feelings of insecurity

  and guilt had to be faced again and again, until they stopped being so incredibly painful.

  Then the more recent traumatic memories had to be faced and treated.

  Hermes' mind was so vast, he remembered everything in the tiniest detail, and if Lukas had not grown so much, he would have been eaten alive by the need and the fear in that mind. Even with his new powers he was glad he felt that unshakable link to Paul all the time he was roaming that huge place, encountering more stress and more doubt, attending it and moving on, ever further from his own being, in danger of being lost.

  A small part of his own mind realized that Paul's single-minded love was holding him linked to his own consciousness as nothing else could. With the help of Paul's unwavering devotion to him he managed to find every traumatic memory, and put it to rest.

  He wanted Hermes to remember every second of his hubris and resulting downfall, but he did not want his father to suffer for it this much. After what seemed an eternity, he was done, and he could feel his father responding again. He followed Paul back into the now.

  Paul was relieved when Lukas was done. He had concentrated on keeping Lukas anchored, he no longer needed feeding, the love of his worshippers came rushing in as his Gift drained the power out of him. He had been right though, not to let Lukas enter this mind without anchor, it was huge and very chaotic. Centuries of knowledge, memories and feelings were stored, but none in a preconceived place, there was no storage system.

  Hermes was clearly a very intuitive person, ruled by his feelings, lacking structure. That would make his vast responsibilities seem even larger, he was probably not good in delegating at all because he wouldn't know how to communicate what he expected.

  This was something that Paul might help him with, if Hermes would be open to the suggestions of a mere mortal. Keeping one's tools and materials in a designated place, always returning them there so they could be found quickly, planning one's tasks ahead, defining the job before accepting it, it all helped to keep the mind clear and available for matters that required serious thinking, no matter what the scale.

  Sorting the memories they encountered and putting them away with the others of the same kind, in chronological order, was the work of moments.

  Feelings could be classed as well, and put away in another section of the vast mind.

  As Lukas handled the feelings they encountered, Paul filed them away neatly, available for contemplation but no longer jumbling Hermes' mind.

  And then Lukas encountered a feeling he didn't know what to do with.

  Paul joined him to look at it, and understood Lukas' hesitation. It was Hermes' love for Melissa, still strong, and lying about between the traumatic memories and the need for George.

  Lukas communicated a question: 'I can destroy this, he need never know.

  Do you want me to?'

  Paul sent a reply: 'Do you want to?'

  'It would make things easier, but we'd be just as bad as he was. And who knows, maybe it is meant to be, then tampering with it would insult the Fates.'

  He handed it to Paul, who stored it away neatly, with the other loves. He didn't order them chronologically though, let Hermes sort that out by himself, keep his love for Melissa caught up between the love he had felt for thousands of other women and men, intensely, but never very deeply.

  Task accomplished, he preceded Lukas back to the now.

  As Paul came back to her in an excellent mood, Melissa found Lukas out cold, as in the old days, and Hermes wide awake and much, much better. He looked Paul straight in the eye, and said: Thank you very much, Paul, I hope we can be friends from now on. You did something too, didn't you? I hope we will find the time for you to show me how you do that, I want some of it in my life as well as in my memories.'

  Then he bent over his son, stroking him with love, kissing his stubbled cheeks, getting an unconscious little smile of the cute, dented lip as reward.

  Melissa was flabbergasted, what had happened in there? She felt a hand on her cheek, Paul wanted to kiss her and she kissed him back with intense love, and pretty soon, passion. Oh well, somehow it had all turned out well, and maybe she would hear something of it in the future, or not.

  She asked Hermes: 'Feel better?'

  He looked up at her and found his voice: 'Much better. He is good, very good. I have not felt such peace since, well, since George. Maybe I'll visit George some day, take a few weeks holiday every year. Paul taught me a new concept: delegating. I'm going to ask him to explain it to me at length, after our mission is done.'

  How people ever found it in themselves to worship Hermes was a

  complete mystery to Melissa, he was so unbelievably human she'd sooner worship Paul, or her father. They at least had something elusive. She did wonder a little why he hadn't wanted her in his mind, she had been there before after all.

  Still, Hermes was very much improved, and she shooed Paul and him off Lukas to go and have breakfast, apparently something quite profound had happened between them, and maybe Paul cared to start explaining modern management terms to Hermes straight away, it certainly seemed as if Hermes could use that, since his empire appeared to crumbling at the edges.

  And to be sure, they were soon tucking away bread and honey and tea happily, chatting all the time,

  laughing, Hermes gesturing broadly and touching Paul negligently, as Lukas had warned them his people were wont to do.

  Comforted that those men were finally getting to know one another, Melissa turned her attention to Lukas, who was still out cold, breathing strongly but not even twitching or smiling in his sleep. She felt her heart reaching out to him, he had attacked his father to protect her, he must love her so much to instantly overcome his general mildness for her.

  Carefully lifting him on her lap, she had a strong feeling of having lived this moment before, holding him tightly, stroking his hair, his cheeks, his chest, smelling his musk. The day was warming up fast, and he had probably been running, not swimming, for she did not smell the tang of the sea on him.

  He was as naked as when she had first seen him, his soft skin mottled as ever, but the rest of his body changed beyond recognition from the emaciated creature hiding behind her hearth, though still skinny he was now in the prime of health, covered in a tiny layer of fat over solid muscle.

  Nearly overcome with feelings she vented them in a kiss on those dented lips, licking that dent as she had seen Paul do, then kissing him again. His eyes opened, his arms gripped her tightly, and he answered that kiss with incredible passion. 'Let's go to the bay,' he whispered, 'there is a price to pay after all.'

  She nibbled his ear and said: 'Let me tell Paul, will you wait for me on top of the cliff?'

  As he got up, and saw Melissa walk towards the two men talking and eating in excellent spirits, Lukas ruthlessly suppressed the feeling of guilt trying to get hold of him.
He had lost control, he had attacked his own father

  when he was in dire straits already, but guilt wouldn't undo any of that. He walked towards the cliff-face instead.

  Sooner than he expected Melissa joined him, practically running after him, grabbing his arm. 'You're not afraid of the descent anymore, are you?' he asked her in mild surprise at her fearful demeanour. She smiled, in relief?, and replied: 'No, I'm not. I think I could fly down by myself, actually.'

  The throbbing heat in his entire body distracted him from everything else, and he asked: 'Can I hold on to you, love? I'm not that steady yet, I'd rather not test if you can let me fly as well.' She held out her hand to him, and led him down the steep path carefully and slowly. Once on the beach they followed it to the end, where the cliff bent inwards a little, forming a tiny bay, out of sight of the terrace.

  As Melissa untied her dress and let it slip down her divine white body, Lukas had to swallow hard to keep his emotions in check. All his life he had shared his love freely, never feeling the slightest need to claim anyone for himself. But today, he had offered his own father harm for touching this woman.

  He could sense her conviction that he had done it to protect her from harm, but he was much harder on himself. Had he really been concerned for the freedom of her mind, or had he wanted to stake his claim towards his father? Lukas didn't know, but he did know that he would search his soul to find out. But first, there was a price to pay.

  As Melissa had neatly folded her beautiful dress, Lukas took her in his arms, his passion clearly visible, hard against her thighs. After a breathtaking kiss Lukas navigated the rocky waterline easily on his hoofs, unafraid of sharp rock ridges or sea-urchins, and he helped Melissa over the rocks to where the water was deep enough to float. The water was shallow here so he didn't have to fear her drowning.

  Once in the water he wrapped her in his arms again, fire in his eyes, his need throbbing in his veins. She gazed at him steadily, then freed one arm from his embrace and scratched one of his horns firmly.

  His fervour exploded, and he grabbed hold of her and plunged right into her, water offering no resistance to his superbly strong legs. She floated on her back, and he held her hips and thrust furiously, all his doubts vanishing in her glorious welcome.

  Being the master of love, he was an expert in timing his release to his partner, but this time, his body took over and came to a shuddering high

  before Melissa had even started to warm up a little. Lukas knew she'd forgive him the lapse of manners, and felt himself quieting down significantly with the release of his tension.

  And thus he was able to take all the time she needed to heat up under his caressing tongue, his kneeling shape covered to the neck in crystal clear water, hers still floating. She shivered first, then groaned with pleasure as her feelings rose, and after some time she uttered a small cry of release, her body shuddering.

  Of course that was just the start, there were more highs to be given before his lust was up again, and he unleashed every trick in his ever thickening book of love on her pale, luscious body, until he could no longer control his own ardour and took her once more, sitting in the water now, making waves together that spread outwards until they touched the shore.

  He brushed her mind with his, and was invited in, sharing feelings once more, it had been a long time since they had made love as one. The intimacy was more comforting than stimulating to Lukas, though Melissa still had quite some heat in her.

  He felt his own exertions from inside her, adjusting a little to reach the best parts, slowing down actually to experience the feeling clearer, until it reached its height quickly, then ebbed away slowly. Then he speeded up, lost to the world in total abandonment, giving his all, and that was a lot. He felt the effect of his superhuman muscles from both sides, rising and rising, then arched in release, and took her in his arms, totally out of breath, panting but feeling very, very relaxed.

  And hungry.

  And amused. No, that was Melissa, still connected to his mind, and diverted by his seamless transition from lust to hunger. The price of using magic, even on this world.

  Then, pain, hers again, a burning sensation all over her skin. He cursed himself for having forgotten to think of a solution to the sunburn, floating on the glittering surface of the Mediterranean even that short time had been enough to burn her skin again, it was so incredibly sensitive. Delicious though.

  Well, it wasn't hard to soothe, so he quickly let his Gift take care of it.

  The cost wasn't worth mentioning, but he was convinced it wasn't good for her, being burned all the time. They'd have to find a solution now.

  'Sorry love, I forgot. Let's discuss this all together, maybe my father knows something that might help. Now I owe him an apology, and myself a square meal. I wish we could have chocolate cake with lots of cream.'

  Melissa was surprised: 'You're not beating yourself up over losing control.'

  'Naw, that would be useless. And I made up for it many times over, didn't I?' the cheeky Lukas had returned, and the ardent kiss Melissa gave him and the feelings of love that accompanied it, nearly distracted both of them to make love all over again.

  But that might worry Paul, he would be waiting for them by now.

  Chapter 5

  In fact, that wasn't true at all.

  As Melissa sprinted towards Lukas, to stop him from walking off the cliff, Paul was afraid too, though he couldn't believe Lukas would do such a thing. Still he was glad to see him taking Melissa's hand and letting her lead him down. He was clearly in great need.

  After a short time, Hermes asked: 'Isn't that very hard for you to accept, the two of them going off like that?'

  Paul replied dryly: 'That is the price Lukas pays to his Gift, it has always been that way. I love him too, you know, very much so. It is not just about Melissa. We would be lovers if I could do it. He very much wishes us to be so.

  Hermes nodded, as Ophius stepped outside to clear the table. 'Better leave that a little longer, Ophius,' Hermes said, 'I suspect that two very hungry people will be coming up that cliff within half an hour.'

  Ophius looked at his master intently, and observed: 'You look much better, master. Better than in months, actually.'

  'I feel much better, Ophius, our son has a great Gift,' was Hermes'

  comment.

  'He has been like son to me for years, Hermes, but his early years were yours.' Ophius clearly didn't like being the centre of attention.

  'You were there for him when he needed someone most,' Hermes said, 'Is that package I sent for arrived already?'

  'Actually, that was what I came for, it has indeed arrived, do you want it outside or in your study?' Ophius asked. 'Better bring it to us here, it is not too hot as yet, and I wouldn't want Lykos to think I had abducted his friend.'

  When Hermes was cheeky, he really looked like his son!

  The package consisted of a roll of strong fabric with a string holding it closed. Hermes laid it on the table and loosened the string, unrolling the fabric. It consisted of two layers sewn together in pockets, and Hermes started to unload each pocket.

  There was a roll of vellum that revealed detailed sketches of dolphins, a kind of fish with a cute face. One pocket contained a flat cake of gold, rather heavy of course. There were pliers, files and clamps, and a stick of beeswax, shaped to fit a pocket and wrapped in vellum. And a cloth and a glass bottle of sand.

  'Now I just need my workshop, and about a week,' Paul remarked, 'how did you know so exactly what I would need?'

  'Melissa told me, I guess my people didn't manage to fit the forge in.'

  'Well, I can start studying the sketches, then make a design,' Paul started to feel his usual excitement when a creation was taking shape in his mind.

  'Have you ever seen one of these dolphins for real?'

  Hermes nodded, and said: 'I have, and if it wouldn't be giving the game away I could show you one too. But it would involve asking my sister for a favour, and if she
saw you, you'd be the return. She has a thing with smiths, she married one, and he's not half as handsome as you.'

  The casual way in which he spoke about his family using up people as if they were food, or another commodity, was unnerving.

  'I'll make do with the drawings and your suggestions. I don't have anything to give a goddess in that respect, I have often felt inadequate in comparison to Lykos, even with the woman I love to distraction.'

  This confession seemed to amuse Hermes to no end: 'Comparing oneself to my son in the art of making love is an act of foolishness or utter hubris.

  I've heard stories of his prowess that have made even me unsure of my capabilities to please a woman, and I'm centuries old with experience of thousands of lovers. To each his own speciality, they really call him the master of love here, you know.

  Reputedly he is no mean lover of men either, better enjoy the fruits of his experience than try to match them.'

  Since this came pretty close to the actual situation between them, Paul having decided to give up the competition and rather enjoy the touch of the master himself, he actually blushed and said demurely: 'At his advice, I have.

  He ís indeed the master of love.'

  Paul tried to hide his feelings by studying the sketches of the dolphins, and softening the wax in his fingers for the first step: to shape a three dimensional image of what he thought they would look like. There were three kinds of dolphins, one stretching, and two leaping. The sketches showed these kinds from the front, sides and back.

  Hermes, studying the sketches too, offered: 'This straight one, it is swimming with speed. That leaping one is also going fast, leaping out of the water as it goes. They often do that, they seem to enjoy swimming as much as horses enjoy running or he-goats enjoy, well, you know what.