Past Lives

by Kirsten Bij't Vuur

  She leaned into the kiss, not feeling anger flare up anymore, just lust, and they took a few seconds to catch their breath and kissed again, and everything was fine.

  Lukas took it one step further and stroked her softly, touching her hair and her face, as well as kissing her, and she wanted to touch him, too. They took off their clothing and stroked each other with heat, until he felt a sudden fear flare up in her, noting where it came from by himself this time, and addressing it without taking his hands off her body.

  He felt genuine pleasure in her as well, not all was lost, it was just the unpredictability of her adverse reactions that made it superbly dangerous, not

  something a seventeen-year old could manage, no matter how talented.

  Still stroking, she felt his muscle with pleasure, and showed an interest in his special features, never having really seen them before. This time, rage struck so suddenly she managed a hit on him, and as he reeled back she was already in tears with shame, but Melissa had caught this one and his solid muscle had caught the blow, and he soon found the error and attended to it.

  He soothed her back into passion, a tiny bit more alert, but just as determined to fight this subversion and win. She became pliant again in his arms, truly harmless for that moment, the rage came over her in flashes that she had no control over whatsoever.

  His skill in addressing the rage was growing, he only needed one attempt to get rid of such a connection, but who knew how many of them were left?

  They were back to stroking with heat, and though his private parts felt very exposed, Lukas was willing to take a hit there too if that could save this girl's love from destroying her life.

  He caught the next one in time and saved his balls from a mauling, removing the connection to her anger in one smooth action.

  Making love was hard work this way, and not very rewarding for his body. But his mind was feeling a triumph, it did work, though it was a lot more painful than he had expected.

  It took him close to half an hour to go from stroking to sucking her nipples, and he averted several attempts on very sensitive parts of himself, taking away the connection to her rage each time.

  But then it seemed to give up, he could stroke her breasts without feeling any emotion but pure lust, so he moved between her legs and carefully licked her a few times, not getting any negative feelings again.

  So he got to it seriously, making her moan and shiver in delight, her love-starved body reacting eagerly to his every move, starting to lose himself a little in rising ardour.

  That cost him a black eye when she next lashed out, fortunately Melissa had miraculously kept her cool and showed him where the trouble was.

  He managed to go on, detaching himself from his body a little, or he'd be black and blue for days, allowing himself to feel just enough lust to be able to proceed. Each time she lashed out at him, he had to soothe her back into passion, and they were both getting quite tired, despite the excitement.

  When another half hour had passed, she had had several highs, and she

  wanted to please him with her mouth, a scary prospect but one he would have to face. Melissa let him know it was too dangerous, and it was, but what could he do?

  He let Rhoda have his proud member, and hoped for the best, staying alert despite her expert ministrations, hoping to fool the angry part of her into action by playing his heat stronger than it actually was.

  And he caught that flash of rage before an attack resulted, taking the connection away in one decided action, forever, he hoped. He loved Jonathan far too much! When she had sucked him with relish for some time without feeling anything that didn't belong, Lukas thought it was time for the final stage. And that is when she broke down in total fear instead of rage.

  He felt like a rapist, a word he had learned only on this world, but he forced himself to not discard the very idea of intercourse, this needed to be addressed as well as the rage. Though the fear seemed a matter of trauma instead of rewiring, Lukas knew he had removed the trauma, and this fear could not be that of a victim of rape.

  This was subversion by an evil mind, pretending to be trauma so it would be left intact.

  Melissa confirmed his opinion, and pointed out the place where the wrong connection was, he had missed it in his shock at her sudden fear.

  That out of the way, she wanted to go on, not just from determination to see it through, when the wrong feeling was gone it was gone without recall, and she truly felt lust and a need to have him inside her.

  So he tried once more, and got no reaction that he shouldn't. He kept himself detached and concentrated on pleasing her, and was rewarded with another bout of extreme fear, and an effort to get away from him.

  That hurt more than blows, but Melissa was there to keep him on track and address it.

  They tried again, and this time, she enjoyed his art without feeling any more fear. Lukas feared one last all-out assault, so he kept going, but with part of him still on the alert. That was the right decision, for just before she climaxed, there was one huge wave of fear and rage combined, an all out attempt on his feelings and on his body, and there even seemed to be a feeble effort at magic in it.

  Having expected it, he managed to trace it and remove it, but that bit of intense concentration on her mind did cost him, he got thrown off her with extreme violence, his face taking another hit, his testicles kneed full-force,

  and he literally flew through the air and landed in a totally wrong way, striking his head on a boulder and feeling a crack in his wrist.

  When he got up he was barely conscious, and he felt Rhoda wrap him in her arms and lead him back to the bed. She was in tears, but they did not feel like guilt, they felt relieved.

  She held him tenderly, stroked his hair and his face, and whispered:

  'Thank you so much Lukas, master of love, you've freed me, I'm certain, something has lifted, the taint is gone. I'm sorry it cost you so much.'

  He felt a little better already, his head bled where it had hit the stone, but though his wrist hurt, it didn't feel broken, and besides, he had healed worse in himself.

  So he sealed the wound and repaired the wrist, the pain in his testicles was already receding.

  Then he looked straight at Rhoda and asked: 'I'm still very horny, shall we finish what we started? See if it's safe for Jonathan?'

  She nodded, and he said with his broadest grin: 'If you scratch my horn-bases, you'll meet the true master of love.'

  No-one had ever resisted that smile, and neither could Rhoda. She just had to kiss him, and they started all over again, building it up slowly, but of course things went a bit faster now, Lukas was incredibly heated, and Rhoda not much less so.

  Melissa stayed with them, and stayed alert, she was not risking her beloved because she was aching for some rough loving herself.

  Besides, Lukas wasn't rough at all, this girl had been raped repeatedly and she needed respect.

  But ultimately he did get his cue from Rhoda that it was time for him to get to the serious business, for she scratched his horns firmly and got what she was ready for, and soon he had her gasping for breath in total ecstasy.

  It was over quickly, Lukas had had quite enough for one day, he wilted after one climax and crashed next to her. She thanked him, and asked: 'Do you think it's safe now for Jonathan? It'll be his first time, it needs to be free of risk.'

  Lukas nodded, confirming: 'I think it is, and you'll be taking it slow anyway, if you feel a hint of rage or fear, just stop and let me know. We'll work on it.

  Her eyes filled with tears and she whispered: 'You are so good, to take that risk for me, after what I did to your mate. And Melissa, she helped a lot,

  didn't she?'

  'She did,' he answered, 'she kept her head cool and told me where the wrong connections were, so I could correct them.

  Let's find Jonathan, he'll be in knots, and I bet little Edward will be happy to see his mother.'

  Chapter 35

  Jonathan saw straig
ht away that something had changed, he caught Rhoda in his arms and rested his head on hers. 'Was it very bad, my love?' he asked.

  'It was, I was totally out of control, the things I might have done to you, the very thought makes me sick.'

  Her voice became a whisper as she said: 'Now I did them to Lukas, it was horrible, I hurt him terribly. He predicted some of them and stopped them, but still he got hurt pretty bad. And still he went on, for me and you.

  It worked, they cured me. The memories are faded and I can bear to be touched. You can touch me now, Jonathan, and we can talk about our past.

  Will you start?'

  They thanked Lukas, Melissa and George once more, then excused themselves and went to Jonathan's room, where they sat on the bed in each other's arms and talked.

  Jonathan told the story of his life, starting with his first meeting with Frances, Melissa and Lukas, and then telling his story backwards first, as he had remembered it under Lukas's talent, and then forwards.

  Rhoda suspected that the young man she had come to love so much in just a few weeks had not had a perfect life, but hearing what he had really been through was a shock. To have been responsible for the lives of nine mentally and emotionally damaged children for two years, without resources or even an idea of who he was, it was unimaginable.

  She no longer wondered that he seemed a bit older than his true age, she was amazed he had managed to learn how to have fun again, to act like the teenager he was. She really hoped she would be able to learn that as well, be young together in their spare time.

  Even the knowledge that being with Jonathan would mean being around magic all the time didn't pain her. She would just cope, maybe try whether there was a tiny bit of magic left in her after all. That was a totally new thought, she hadn't thought of practising magic at all since Aphrodite had burned her out.

  She found Jonathan watching her contemplations, and the look in his eyes just took her breath away. He said: 'You look like you are having some profound thoughts, would you care to share them with me?'

  'I had no idea it had been so bad for you, and that you saved so many lives despite being so young and having no memory. You must be a very strong person. Even more so that you can let go and be young again. I hope I can be as strong, start a new life, accept being without magic.'

  'Not completely without magic,' Jonathan observed.

  Rhoda looked at him questioningly.

  'Well,' he replied, 'I don't know what Lukas did, but you seem to have a tiny bit of power in you again, I can see it.'

  Rhoda called fire, and a tiny flame sat in her hand. She quenched it, and looked at Jonathan in shock: 'How can that be? Hera said I'd never practice magic again.'

  'Well,' Jonathan drawled, 'you can choose: either she was wrong, or she lied. I can imagine both. Lukas is very good, and Melissa can see through anything. Together they are a formidable team, they gave John his power back, and they gave me my memory back. Lucy, the shy girl from the stables, had been abused even before her magic was taken, and Lukas healed her, though she's not totally free of fear yet.'

  'I can imagine Hera lying, she was nice to me but she doesn't really care about mortals. She wanted me to be an artist and marry me off. Can you imagine what I would have done to that poor chap? I preferred to lead my own life, so I ran away.

  But I didn't even try to use magic, I just accepted I couldn't. I might have tried, it works differently here, but I was certain I couldn't,' Rhoda observed,

  'you think they messed with my mind?'

  'Possibly,' was the answer. 'I can still imagine both, but I'm not going to spend any energy on finding out. Seeing how much magic you can still practice would be a better use of your time.'

  'You are right. And I want to meet the shy girl, too.

  I've seen her, but I never talked to her. I too, have been the victim of abuse, though my reaction to it was mostly violent. Can you handle my tale of woe? I feel able to share it with you now. I was not a hero, more the opposite. But nonetheless I suffered a lot, and I'm very glad to feel really safe now, in your arms.'

  It took an hour for Rhoda to relate her horrific story to Jonathan, and at the end of it they were both in tears. They did not feel up to dinner downstairs, so Jonathan begged Frances to excuse them this once, and they got their fare in his room, after which they buried themselves under the blanket, totally undressed, and slept clutched in each other's arms for the first time, touching and kissing, but not at all ready for anything more.

  As Rhoda and Jonathan retreated, and with little Edward in her lap once more, Melissa remembered: 'We didn't tell her about the magic!'

  'What about her magic?' George asked, 'don't tell me you managed to restore hers as well? She couldn't even thínk of practising magic anymore.'

  Lukas observed, shaking his head sadly: 'Most of her power-pockets were totally destroyed, burned, actually. I managed to save one, and just two connections to fill them. Barely enough to light a candle.'

  Now it was George's turn to shake his head, and he said: 'Think of the black mage, Lukas, he didn't have any power of his own, and he managed to practice magic. Rhoda still has her sight, so it will be easier for her.

  If someone feeds her power she might still be able to practice, Jonathan has plenty, she can probably use his. It is not just power she lacks, it is the will to use it.'

  Sight, there it was, again, Melissa just knew it was important to gather power somehow. Of course! The ley-lines! Rhoda had no idea that they existed, if she could use them, she could practice magic without problem. But according to George she didn't even consider it.

  She decided to ask: 'George, if she can see ley-lines, she has all the power she needs, hasn't she?'

  George didn't know: 'But why hasn't she tried before now? She seems so convinced she can't do magic that she doesn't even try.'

  Paul suggested: 'Maybe someone put her will on Rhoda to stop her from trying? And maybe for the best, for if she happens upon a ley-line, that would be the end of her.'

  'I think you're right, Paul,' Lukas mused,' remember that barrier that we removed, Melissa? That may have not been self-inflicted to stop her memories, in fact, it didn't stop them, for she was suffering from nightmares.

  What if that was of Aphrodite's doing, or even Hera's?'

  'That would mean she might be eager to involve herself with magic again.

  Should she been warned of the ley-lines and especially the node?' Melissa had heard Rhoda used to be very ambitious, what if she went looking for

  power?

  'What do you think, George?' Paul asked, 'you know her best.'

  George didn't seem very worried, and replied: 'I will talk to her tomorrow, and let her try a ley-line safely. She's probably talking very seriously with Jonathan, and if she does dabble in magic immediately, he is sensible enough to warn her away from the node, if she can even touch it.'

  When her friends were missing at dinner, Hailee was a bit worried, but Frances soon told her they had had a rough day and were allowed their dinner in their room for once. She said they had had a rough day, but Frances seemed really happy, so Hailee supposed that Lukas' treatment had worked, and that they would find the intimacy Rhoda had craved.

  Hailee was happy for her friend, but it made her own situation more difficult. She had gotten used to the cold, and Ilsa had helped her find a job in the wool factory, in the development room where Ilsa experimented with magic to strengthen the strands so they could spin the threads thinner without the cloth ripping.

  It was a challenging job, and Hailee loved it, and she loved living at the manor. Marcus was great fun and a good lover, but he was not the man she dreamed of, and clearly his father's son: he liked to share his love around, openly, especially at the raves they often visited. Hailee didn't mind his sharing, how could she, when she would have stopped sleeping with him instantly if she could have that one other.

  But John was still out of reach, he was less beat, Hailee had to admit that Aphrodite
had not kept him down but built him up, he was much more self-assured, didn't blend into the background anymore, he asserted himself without being obnoxious.

  She realized he had often been obnoxious as Dionysus. And rather smelly. If she were totally frank to herself, which it was time she should be, she loved him even better as he was now. He was in great shape, doing work that he loved, he had raised real Greek olive trees out of the stones he had saved from the last of the olives Hermes had brought George as a present.

  That should not have been possible, those olives had been salted and prepared with vinegar, but still he had done it. He could grow things at several times the speed they would normally grow, and everything thrived.

  And best of all, he had made very good friends in another greenhouse, right in the city, where they kept tropical plants, that the owner let him have seeds from because John had saved several precious trees that were dying as

  a result of exposure to cold last winter. The winter in which John had been close to freezing to death himself.

  He had told her a lot about his ordeal in head-to-head talks at the dinner table or the coffee table, but he took great care not to meet her by himself, which hurt Hailee a lot, and had set her to do some serious thinking. She had been in London for four seven-days, and had managed to do very well for herself, but the thing she had come for seemed further out of reach each day.

  Did she want to face a winter here, alone?

  For she did not want to make other ties, Rhoda had found her match, was on her way to being settled really well, so it was time for Hailee to face reality and talk to John, ask him outright if her staying had any value to him, and if it had not, to go straight back through the portal, to make something out of her life in the country she knew and loved.

  The thought of leaving John behind upset her immensely, and she found herself fighting tears. But no matter how much she kept postponing this difficult moment, it would come, and Hailee decided it would be tonight.