Hell, that just made his shaft sit up and take notice.
Wishing he could smack it with a rolled up newspaper to make it behave, Tim focussed on the ice cream.
“Want to talk about it?” She broke the silence.
Oh, brother. “I’m done talking.”
“Okay.”
So easily dismissed. Call him a contrary old fart, but that annoyed him. He glanced up.
She met his gaze calmly, licking her lips from remnants of ice cream.
“What makes you think I want to talk about anything?” He just had to ask.
He gave himself a mental head slap. He really needed to stop hanging around with the heart-to-heart guys, aka Mike and Rick.
“You invited me to stay.”
“Doesn’t mean I want to talk.”
“Okay.”
That niggled, too. So it didn’t matter? “Maybe I just wanted some company.”
“Okay.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “Maybe I wanted your company.”
“That’s nice.”
He shoved a bigger than usual mouthful of ice cream into his mouth and swallowed.
Jesus, the ice cream headache he got from that dumb stunt had both his eyes and his teeth clenched shut.
By the time the hellish ice bomb had vanished and he was able to open his eyes, it was to find Cindy nodding sympathetically. However, she didn’t say a word.
Good. Fine. He didn’t want to talk.
They ate in silence for a bit longer.
“So, I heard you’re going into a bit of fostering,” he said. It was okay, he was her vet. It was work talk. Doctor and client stuff, nothing more.
“Yeah.” She licked her spoon. “I’m looking forward to it.”
“You do know there’s a chance a kitten or cat now and again may get ill and die, depending on what has happened to them? We don’t always know until a few days later if they’re sick, there’s an incubation time. And you realise that you’ll get attached to the little critters, don’t you?” That concerned him. The thought of her crying - steer clear! Steer clear!
“I know, but I figure a few tears is worth it if I can save some lives and get them a forever home.”
A forever home. Oh God, how sweet was that?
“I guess you have some contacts,” he continued calmly, without giving away his thoughts.
“A lot, in fact. I’m already putting feelers out.” Scraping up chocolate topping on the spoon, she popped it into her mouth. “Spreading the word.”
“Good plan.” Tim nodded. “Got everything you need?”
“Lara has been a lot of help. She says that you’ll…” Hesitating, Cindy dropped her gaze.
Interest sparked, Tim eyed her. “I what?”
“That you’ll provide, free of charge, the health checks and worming and stuff for the strays I get from your clinic.” She met his gaze. “If it’s okay with you.”
Hell, yes. “My Aunt is the boss,” he stated. “She’s a softie for animals. It’s something she offers for people willing to foster animals from our clinic.”
“I’m perfectly happy to pay for it, though,” Cindy continued. “I have the money and don’t mind paying, whatever the cost.”
He was already shaking his head. “Veterinary clinics are a business, not a charity, true, but we help where we can. We try to re-home cats and kittens, even puppies and dogs, and we’ve all taken animals home to care for at times until homes can be found. You offering to foster as well takes a bit of the strain off us.”
At that minute a whining sound came from the room off the laundry and excusing himself, Tim got up and went to check on the dog. A pat, a bit of reassurance, and he returned to the counter.
“That one of your strays?” Cindy asked interestedly.
“Nope. A patient.”
“I remember you mentioning bringing them home when needed.”
“Part of the job.”
They finished their ice cream in companionable silence.
It felt so natural, so homey. Dangerous territory. Tim slid a glance at Cindy. Very dangerous territory.
Pushing the bowl aside, she regarded him. “I’ve told my brother to butt out.”
“No worries.” Tim also pushed his bowl away. “He’s just concerned about you. I understand.”
Leaning an elbow on the table, she asked softly, “Are we still friends?”
Friends? He stared at her. He’d never been friends with any woman he’d had sex with - ever. And considering what had happened between him and Cindy, he was surprised that she’d want anything to do with him again - ever.
“I guess not.” She slid down off the stool.
Like lightening, he reached across and grabbed her wrist. “Wait.”
“Tim, it’s okay.” Gently she tried to prise his fingers from around her wrist.
“No, it’s not.” He stopped when she looked at him out of big, serious, blue eyes surrounded by thick eyelashes. “I mean, I want to be your friend, but…”
“It’s the sex, isn’t it?”
She said it so plainly that he blinked in surprise.
“Sex spoiled it.”
“No.”
“Then what? The fact that I got mad at you?” She tapped his hand and he released her.
“No.” Cursing, he tried to explain. “Look, I don’t usually make friends with women I’ve had sex with. I’ve always walked away.”
“And I walked right back.” Her smile was tentative, a little - oh God, sad.
That made him feel like a real prick. It also made him a little angry and impatient with himself. Goddamn it, he just had to say it.
Still seated, he growled, “Look, I’m used to being in control, all right? I’m always in control. I control who I sleep with and where.” He swung a hand out. “I don’t bring any woman here to sleep, this is my place, my sanctuary. I love them and leave them, not the other way around. That’s just the way it is.”
Rather than scream that he was a vile, insensitive pig, Cindy just regarded him thoughtfully. Right before she surprised the living hell out of him.
Leaning forward over the counter, she touched his jaw with one perfectly manicured nail. “That’s the whole point, isn’t it? You’re always in control. You never trust anyone enough to allow them control. If you think you’re going to lose control, you panic and run.”
“Panic?” His mouth dropped open in outrage. “Run? Me?”
“Yeah, you.” She tapped him once on the chin. “You’re scared to give up control, Tim Clarke, playboy vet. You don’t have what you desire because you’re scared it’ll mean giving up some of that control you have.”
Indignantly, he stood up. “I don’t know what the hell you’re on about, Lawson, but that’s-”
“Control issues, Tim.” Rolling her shoulders as though she’d just had a weight lifted off her, she smiled at him. “It’s not having had sex with me that bothers you so much, it’s the fact that you lost control.” Before he could get a word in edgewise, she added, “And you know, if you do it enough times with someone you can trust, you might find that you’ll like it.” She walked briskly over to the door, stopping briefly at it to smile back at him.
Warmly.
Sultrily.
“Call me.”
And then she was gone, her high heels first muffled by the carpet in his lounge before clicking decisively along his hallway. He didn’t hear the door open and close, but he somehow knew exactly when she’d left.
The house was emptier.
Sort of like his mind, really. Standing there in his kitchen, mouth agape, his mind completely empty of any thought.
When thought did start to return, he realised that Cindy Lawson had just offered to take him under her control.
All he had to do was call her.
~*~
Climbing into the car, Cindy shut the door and buckled up her seatbelt. A twist of the key brought the engine to life, but all she did was sit there and stare ahead.
Had she really offered to take control of Tim? And in what context, exactly? Only now did the thought occur to her.
He took women to their home.
He chose the women.
He had to have control.
For her to offer to control him, she had to be the one to initiate - what? Sex? Oh boy.
Shifting in her seat, she bit her lip. Yes, that was exactly what she’d meant when she’d made that statement. There was no doubt in her mind. However, there was some doubt now because even though she wasn’t a virgin, nor was she an experienced courtesan of old, trained to please men in all ways. Okay, she knew several ways, but enough to take control of Tim? Whoo boy.
Mind you, the thought of having Tim under her control, spread out on the bed to do with as she pleased - Cindy fanned herself with her hand. Whoo boy again.
Of course, there was the little matter of…um…her slight body issues. Sure, she was confident, she knew her body wasn’t perfect but heck, there were other things that could be worse. And really, she was just a voluptuous babe, right?
Sure as heck, Tim had admitted that he liked her body, that her curves turned him on. However, she wasn’t so confident that she didn’t have a few doubts now and again, she was only human, but with a sudden shrug, she pushed the doubts away.
In all likelihood, Tim wouldn’t be coming around knocking on her door to be taken control of, and she seriously doubted that he’d phone her. Turned on by her curves he might be, but he wasn’t besotted with her.
That particular thought made a niggling little pain come to life in the vicinity of her heart.
Oh hell, she was a soppy sap.
Tossing her head, Cindy checked the side mirrors before pulling out into the evening traffic.
But her mind kept working overtime.
Okay, she liked Tim. That was part of the reason why she’d come to apologise to him for her idiot brother. The other part was, well, to be truthful, she missed seeing him. Two weeks and not a sighting of him at the pub she’d been to the previous Saturday. In fact, Tim hadn’t been seen in his usual haunts for more than two weeks. Unheard of for the playboy vet.
She missed his eyes that twinkled mischievously, his shirts with their ridiculous sayings, his quirky smile, and his thoughtful expression that she was sure he had no idea he wore when he contemplated things.
Anyone who mixed in similar circles as the Clarke family had heard whispers, the older generation witnessing the way his mother had tried to control Tim from the moment he was born. He had mummy issues, and it had affected him big time. It affected the way he regarded women and was the reason he maintained such tight control over his relationships.
It was why he didn’t let any woman get close to him.
So how close did she want to go?
Pulling over into the parking area of a service station, she picked up her mobile phone and was about to dial Maddy’s number when a patrol car pulled up directly behind her. In the evening gloom she couldn’t make out the exact features of the cops that got out of the car, but she recognised the tall, powerful figure that came striding up to her door. The other cop went into the service station.
Mike bent down to peer at her through the window. “Cindy.”
“Hey, Mike.” She waggled the phone. “It’s all right, I wasn’t driving and phoning.”
“I know, I saw you.” He glanced around and then back at Cindy, his pale-eyed gaze steadily regrading her. “Everything all right?”
“Well, sure.” Puzzled, she also glanced around before meeting his gaze once more. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Maybe.” That unnerving gaze just stayed right on her.
Damn, Maddy had nerves made of steel to be able to meet this gaze head-on and still argue with him. Then again, Mike worshipped the ground Maddy walked on.
Tim certainly didn’t worship the ground that Cindy walked on.
Her little sigh didn’t escape him and he raised one brow in silent query.
“Nothing.” Cindy shook her head. “You said there might be a problem?” A sudden thought occurred to her. “It’s not Maddy, is it?”
“No.”
“Of course not.” Cindy relaxed back in the seat. “Otherwise you’d be with her.”
He just nodded.
“So, what’s wrong?”
“I’m wondering the same thing.”
“You’re speaking in riddles, Mike. Just tell me or ask me or something.”
Without speaking, he squatted down beside her window and studied her with those stoic cop eyes. “You’re Maddy’s best friend.”
“Yes.” Where was he going with this?
“Tim’s my best friend.”
“Yes.” Uh-oh.
“I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”
“I’m not following you.”
“Yeah, you are.”
“Mike, I don’t-”
“Really, Cindy, do you want to go there? With me?”
No, she didn’t, because Mike was all-bloody seeing. “It’s not your business.” She attempted a small smile. “No offence.”
He didn’t bat an eyelid. “Tim went on a bender. He never goes on benders anymore.”
Actually, in all the pubs and clubs Cindy had seen Tim frequent, not once had he ever gotten drunk. “Why’d he go on a bender?”
“You.”
She blinked. “Pardon?”
“You.” His gaze remained steady. “Since he met you, he’s on uncertain ground.”
“Uncertain ground?” Dismay filled her. “You mean I’m driving him to drink?”
“Only the once, and I think that was a combination of you, his mother, and a few other issues.”
“Oh, my God.” She fell back against the seat and stared out the window. She’d just left his house. “He’s probably as drunk as a skunk right now!”
“Nope.” Mike shook his head. “I know Tim. He won’t get drunk again.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I just know.”
He sounded so positive that she relaxed a little.
“You came from his house,” Mike stated.
“How do you know that?”
“Passed your car there a little while ago while on patrol.”
“Oh.” Considering what he was saying, she wondered what he thought about that little event.
No, there was no guessing, for as usual his stoic cop face was firmly in place.
“Okay,” she finally said. “Are you warning me off Tim? That I’m no good for him?”
“No. I’m telling you that loss of control is a huge thing for him. He didn’t have control of his life when he was little, and it’s taken him that control to cope with what life has thrown at him. Losing it-”
“Would scare him.” She nodded slowly. “I know.”
“You do?” Mike was genuinely surprised.
“Yes. So if you’re not warning me off him, what are you doing?” She met his gaze directly.
“I’m telling you that Tim isn’t a man to blithely hand control over to anyone. His trust needs to be earned, and that will only be by a special person.”
“You don’t think I’m that person?”
“I don’t know. Are you?”
Chapter Seven
She stared at him.
His cop partner came out of the service station and walked back towards the patrol car.
Mike straightened, bending to peer once more through the open window at Cindy. “I’m only telling you this because I care.”
“You do?” Numbly, she looked at him.
“You’re Maddy’s best friend and Tim is my best friend. Friends look out for friends.”
She didn’t quite know what to say, especially as thoughts were starting to tumble haphazardly through her brain and a sinking feeling was spiralling down through her gut.
Reaching in, Mike patted her shoulder. “You need to talk to me or Maddy, we’re there for you.” Straightening, he strode away.
Cind
y was still staring out through the front windshield when the patrol car pulled out from behind her and drove past her car. Unseeingly, she stared at the red tail lights as they disappeared into the traffic.
Oh God, what had she done? Mike knew Tim so well. Only a special person could win Tim’s trust, and she didn’t have a clue if she was that special person. Sure, she liked Tim, she missed seeing him, but was there anymore to it?
Was she a special person to Tim?
Did she want to be?
Would he see her as that special person?
Well, hell, she’d told him to call her if he decided to give his control up - oh hell! Oh hell, she’d done exactly what his mother had tried to do to him all his life - take his control.
She’d blatantly told him to call her when he was ready to give up his control. The control he’d used to survive his cold-hearted mother’s machinations, the control he prided himself on, the control that was a part of him.
And she’d told him to give it up. To call her when he was ready to give it up.
“Oh, bloody hell,” she groaned. Now she felt like the worst woman in the world. How could she have been egotistical enough to tell him that? She didn’t know him, his secret thoughts, she only knew what she’d seen recently. “Oh, bloody, bloody hell. Cindy, what a right royal cock-up you’ve made of this!”
Wanting the security of her home, she put the car into gear and drove home, cringing inwardly.
Having confidence was one thing, but knowing that she’d boldly told him to do the same thing his loathed mother had tried to do all his young life - oh, that was low.
So very, wrongly, disgustingly low.
Pulling into the garage, she entered the house to relieve her brother of baby-sitting duties. It diverted her troublesome thoughts to find Alex slouched back on the sofa with his feet up on the coffee table, Al comfortably curled up in the crook of his neck.
“Awww.” Raising her mobile phone, Cindy snapped a photo.
“Post that somewhere to embarrass me and remember I know where you live,” Alex warned her. “And I’m trained to cause grievous bodily harm.”
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