Royally Wild (Crazy Royal Love Romantic Comedy Book 2)

by Melanie Summers

  Tessa sits back in her chair and tilts her head. “Hmmm… I don’t know. I’m worried you may be underestimating Dylan’s ability to be evil.”

  Stopping myself just short of rolling my eyes, I say, “And if you’ll remember, I do know how to handle her.” I suck back as much of my margarita as I can without risking brain freeze, then set the glass down. “Besides, Will and I know what really went on out there. No amount of editing can change reality—or our feelings for each other.”

  “Are you sure?” Tessa asks. “Arthur and I went through hell with the whole ‘Brooke is better’ thing. It really got in my head and it almost ended us.”

  Tessa comes from a ‘normal family,’ so there were some people in our upper crust crowd who weren’t exactly thrilled when Arthur announced their engagement. They started a whole campaign to have him dump her and marry Lady Brooke Beddingfield, an awful snatch who had the ‘right’ upbringing. Thank God it didn’t work because there is no way in hell Brooke and I would be sitting around in our jammies getting tipsy together.

  “That’s true. She was a total mess, Arabella. Trust me,” Nikki adds. “And you’ve got those ‘Will’s Wild Girls’ who would love to see your head on a spike.”

  “Thanks for that image,” I say, wrinkling up my nose. “They’re not going to be a problem. Honestly. I’m sure they’re a bunch of tweens sitting in bedrooms that have been freshly decorated with unicorn everything. Besides, not only have I learned a lot from watching what you and Arthur went through, but Will and I have already made it through some crazy shit together. Literal life and death stuff. And when push came to shove, we chose each other.” I pick up a spring roll with one hand, dip it in the plum sauce, and take an enormous bite. When I’m done chewing, I say, “The truth is, though, I need some advice from you, Tess. But not about the show. I need to help him ease into royal life.”

  Tessa tilts her head and stares at me for a second. “I thought you and Will were going Megxit.”

  “Not full Megxit,” I say, my stomach tightening at the idea of giving up my entire life for the unknown. “I mean, I considered it briefly, but it’s all so much more complicated than it seemed at first, what with the need for a security detail and letting all my charities down and—”

  “Having to pay for everything yourself…” Nikki adds.

  “That too,” I answer. “Also, I’ve got the UN gig now, which is something I’ve always dreamed of. I can’t really abandon ship now, can I?”

  Tessa sips her vodka. “I suppose not. How does Will feel about joining the royal ranks?”

  I push my chicken ball around on my plate with my fork so as to avoid eye contact with her. “Um, I’m sure he’ll be fine with it. I mean, once he gets to know everyone and gets a glimpse at all the perks.”

  “Have you two not talked about this?” Tessa asks.

  Clearing my throat, I say, “Not as such. The truth is, we’ve only gotten as far as knowing with absolute certainty that we do want a life together. I mean, that bit alone takes a while. But, now that we’re here, we’ll sort it out. Right?” I ask, glancing back and forth between them.

  Tessa makes a clicking sound and sucks some air in through her teeth. “I don’t know, this would be a complete lifestyle overhaul for a man like Will. It’s not exactly footloose and fancy-free.”

  “You could build him a gigantic jungle gym in the meadow,” Nikki offers.

  “He’s not a monkey,” I say. “Surely, Will and I can find a way for him to meet his need for adventure whilst allowing me to continue on with my family and charitable obligations. It can’t be that hard, can it?”

  “Maybe.” Nikki rips open a packet of plum sauce and squeezes some onto her plate. “Especially if you two keep filming survival shows even after you’re married.”

  “Well, I’ll be quite busy as a UN ambassador, but he can certainly continue on doing a show or two a year,” I say. “The whole thing will fit in quite nicely with whatever charities he wants to take on actually.”

  “Why do I get the feeling you’re trying to come up with a way to sell this to him?” Tessa asks.

  “Because I am,” I admit, feeling a pang of guilt. “The thing is, as soon as I got back here, I realized how much I missed my life. Well, aspects of it anyway, like you two, and Gran, and the twins and well, frankly, living in a palace isn’t all that bad either. And now that I’m finally doing something meaningful, I don’t want to give that up, and honestly, I don’t think Will would ever ask me to. He’s not that kind of man.”

  Risking a glance at Tessa, I can instantly tell I won’t like what she’s got to say. I quickly continue before she can impart her happily-married-woman wisdom. “I’m not about to make any major decisions without him, and if this life made him terribly miserable, we’d figure something else out. I was hoping you may have some ideas as to how I could help him find his own version of this life.”

  Tessa sighs. “I’m not sure how many versions of this life are possible. It’s kind of a full-on lifestyle, and once you’re in it, you get sucked in all the way.”

  “Which I would happily welcome,” Nikki adds. “No more scrubbing scalps for a living.”

  I pour myself another margarita, then top up Nikki’s. “So, you’d be happy to give up your career for this life?”

  “In a heartbeat,” Nikki says, taking a long pull of her drink. “But I’m not sure I have the same feelings about my career that your man does. I pretty much became a hair stylist for the gossip.”

  I chuckle, then my heart drops when I think of Will. “He really does adore his job.” I sigh and look at Tessa. “You had to leave the journalism world for Arthur. Do you ever regret it?”

  She sets her fork down. “Yes and no. I mean, when I realized I had to quit working as a reporter, it was a bit of a shock in a way, as stupid as that sounds. But I had to ask myself what I really wanted to get out of reporting the news. Clearly, it wasn’t the money because I never made much at it. It was respect, which is something I have now.”

  “Do you?” Nikki asks, wrinkling up her nose.

  We all laugh, then Tessa says, “For the most part, I’d say so. Well, among my family anyway.” Holding up one finger, she says, “Now that I’m doing so much charity work and I’m momming, they see me as slightly less of a failure than they used to. It’s nice, really.”

  “Okay, good. That’s good,” I say. “I’m sure Will wants respect, too, and we can make that happen, no?”

  “Maybe, but men are different.” Tessa stands and drops some ice into her glass, then free-pours more vodka, apparently deciding to stretch her ‘two-drinks’ as far as possible. “Arthur would never agree to live off of me, if I were the one with the cash.”

  “Well, that’s Arthur,” I say, my hackles going up slightly. “Will and Arthur are about as different as two people can get.”

  “Tessa might be right,” Nikki says. “It’s harder for a man to join a royal family than a woman. Think of Prince Phillip. He did not adjust well at all to being the consort to the queen.”

  Urgh. “So say the writers of The Crown. Whatever. The truth is, I’m not going to be the reigning monarch, ever—thanks for that, by the way, Tessa.” I wink at her. “And I’ve already begun to forge the path for us to have a much more… liberated existence than most royals. I’m sure we can find a way for him to go do all his wild man stuff while I’m busy with my causes.” I nod confidently, even though there’s a niggling feeling in my stomach. “Besides, Will is the most confident man I’ve ever met. There’s no way he’d let a little thing like money bother him.”

  “Then you two should be just fine,” Tessa says, even though I can see uncertainty written all over her face.

  “Absolutely,” I say, tipping back my drink to wash away my worry. “I’m sure with a little finesse, we can have it all.”

  Lifting her margarita, Nikki says, “Here’s to having it all.”

  We click glasses together and toast, “To having it all.” Then, we ea
ch down our drinks.

  “And, if for some reason, it doesn’t work out and Will can’t handle being married to a princess,” Nikki says, “I could totally go gay for you. You’re gorgeous, and I promise I’d have no problem whatsoever living off your family’s money.” She raises and lowers her eyebrows at me. “Oh! We could get married and get ourselves some hot guy—or guys—to share.”

  Chuckling, I say, “Thanks for the offer, Nikki. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “But in the meantime, please continue looking for a hot, rich guy just for me.”

  “Obviously,” I answer with a quick nod.

  Three hours later, Tessa and Nikki weave their way to the door of my apartment. We exchange tipsy goodbye hugs and promises to text each other tomorrow. Tessa gives me a concerned look. “You may want to tell Will you’re not going full Megxit sooner than later.”

  “Righto. Probably a good idea.”

  “I’d say so. The last thing you’d want is for him to feel like you’ve tried to trap him into a life he won’t want.”

  “Good point,” I say, my head spinning a little. “I’ll make sure to sit down with him and tell him the truth about how I feel and see where he’s at with all of it, just as soon as possible.”

  “I don’t know,” Nikki says. “You two are going to have enough to deal with when the show airs. Maybe focus on getting through the next couple of months, then sort out the long-term stuff after.”

  I nod. “She brings up an excellent point.”

  Tessa gives me another goodbye hug and says, “Just don’t wait too long.”

  “I won’t.”

  5

  The Part Where the Princess Has to Eat Crow (and a Bunch of Other Disgusting Things)

  Arabella

  Four Days Later

  “You clean up nicely, Mr. Banks,” I say, letting my eyes sweep over my smartly dressed, freshly shaved boyfriend. He’s in a dashing navy suit jacket, a crisp white shirt, and dark jeans for that ‘I have to dress up, but you can’t tame me’ look. See? He can totally fit in with my life without having to lose who he is.

  Will crosses the room and pulls me into his arms. “That’s funny, I like you best when you’re very dirty.”

  “Opposites attract,” I murmur while he nips at my earlobe.

  We’re in the green room at the ABN studios where, in a few minutes, we’ll be filming a live pre-show show. Did I mention it’s live? I’ve been increasingly nervous as this day has drawn nearer, but somehow, at the moment, I can’t even remember what I was so worried about because the man I love is looking at me like I’m the only woman who has ever walked the earth. And when he does that, the rest of the world melts away, and I forget everything I’m meant to be worrying about. Quite dangerous, really.

  “I missed you,” he says, lifting one hand to my cheek and smiling at me. “I can’t believe we’ve gone so long without seeing each other.”

  “It’s been awful,” I say, leaning in so our bodies are as close as possible while fully dressed. “I wish we could lock the door and just throw down right here.”

  “Don’t tempt me. There’s no way ten minutes will be enough to make up for so many hours apart,” he says, kissing me on the neck. “But maybe we can sneak back in here when the show’s over.”

  “You wickedly smart man,” I murmur.

  “I figured we could get reacquainted on that couch over there.”

  A knock at the door has us both quickly jumping back as we call “Come in!” to whoever it is.

  As it turns out, Dylan Sinclair, evil showrunner/PR witch/Red Bull addict is the one doing the knocking. She rushes across the room with an open-mouthed smile. “Princess Arabella!” she calls in her sing-songy way. “Gorgeous as always. Love your dress. Love it. Sophisticated yet simple. Flattering yet modest. Professional yet friendly. You must have gotten my e-mail with suggestions because this is spot-on.”

  I’m in a light moss sheath dress with three-quarter-length bell sleeves, my usual boring beige pumps, and delicate pearl drop earrings to finish the look. I nod and smile, surprised that she doesn’t seem to be holding a grudge about the whole me-using-her-face-to-push-her-to-the-ground thing. Huh. Remarkable, really. I’d still be super pissed. “How are you, Dylan?”

  “Never better,” she says, pulling a can of Red Bull out of her suit jacket pocket. She cracks it open. “This is going to be the single greatest week of all of our lives. The. Greatest!”

  Will puts his arm around my shoulder while she tips back the can. “We’re really excited to see the final product.”

  “It’s incredible, if I do say so myself,” she says. “It very well may be the most spectacular television show ever made, so I suppose one could say I nailed it first try.”

  “I’m sure you did,” I answer, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. “I want to apologize again about shoving—”

  Dylan holds up one hand. “Nope. Don’t even. That little move was the cherry on the top of the ‘transformation of a princess to a kickass warrior’ sundae.”

  “But still, it was most unbecoming of me and beyond rude.”

  “Which makes for superb ratings,” she answers, looking at her watch. “Okay, I have to run next door and make sure we’re all set up for you. You are going to absolutely die when you find out what the format is of tonight’s show. It’s going to be wildly fun. Think The Newlywed Game meets Fear Factor meets Entertainment Tonight. You’ll be answering questions while you complete challenges.”

  “Wow, that is… not what I was expecting,” I say.

  “Right? Sometimes I scare myself with my big ideas. I was out running a couple of weeks ago while I was brainstorming interview questions, and it popped into my head—‘Dylan, a plain old interview has been done to death. You need to make it harder, better, faster, stronger.’”

  Will nods, keeping a poker face. “Were you listening to Kanye West at the time?”

  “How did you know?” Dylan asks. She turns to me. “Scary that he knew that. Okay, so rules for today—try everything. Just really go for it, no matter what we throw at you. The more into this you are, the more excitement we can generate for the show.” She tips back her can and takes a few gulps. “And guess who the host is?”

  She’s going to say it’s her, isn’t she?

  “Me!” she announces.

  “I was racking my brain for the right host—someone exciting with that certain je ne sais quoi who we could quickly bring up to speed on what we’re trying to achieve here, and I thought, ‘Dylan! You’re all those things!’ Plus, I’m semi-famous as that woman Princess Arabella shoved into the mud, so it adds that whole ‘is she going to be nasty to the princess’ tension!” Dylan grins at me. “Spoiler alert—she’s not. Seriously, we’re fine.”

  “Brilliant,” I say, even though I cannot imagine that any of that is true.

  “Oh, and speaking of spoilers—we don’t want any! Not one. The world has already figured out you’re a couple, so we can’t go ‘will they or won’t they.’ No biggie because we pivot and highlight the mystery of how this happened. That is what will have butts in chairs every Thursday night for the next five weeks.”

  “Well, that and our ability to survive in the Congo whilst making our way to civilization under the most dire of circumstances,” Will says, sounding slightly put out.

  “That too,” Dylan agrees before sucking back the rest of her drink. “Okay, I better go make sure the lighting is going to flatter me. It gets harder to light women over a certain age. Remember you’re thrilled about the show, your relationship, and your future together. Give specific yet vague answers. Be friendly and open yet maintain an air of mystery.”

  “Sure, no problem,” Will says as Dylan hurries out the door.

  Once the door is closed, I look up at him, “Be honest yet deceitful.”

  He grins down at me. “Distant yet close.”

  “Stymied but also victorious,” I add.

  “Exactly.”

  “Welcome to
Princess in the Wild - The Pre-show!” Dylan shouts into the camera. “I’m your host, Dylan Sinclair, and tonight we begin the epic, sexy adventure that is Princess in the Wild! In just a moment, I’ll welcome Princess Arabella herself and wild man Will Banks to our stage where they will be subjected to various tests of faith, disgusting challenges, and daring feats. But that’s not all, folks, because we are going to have a little fun with the new couple as well in our segment called, ‘How Well Do You Know Each Other?’

  “Princess in the Wild which debuts this Thursday at 8 p.m. here on ABN, is already being touted as the most adventurous, sexiest series on the telly.”

  “By whom?” Will whispers in my ear.

  “Dylan, obviously,” I murmur back to him, and we both silently chuckle.

  We’re standing behind a curtain just off the stage, waiting for our cue, and to be honest, I’m perspiring a little due to the hot studio lights and an absolute fear of the unknown. Will seems positively giddy with anticipation while I pretty much feel like vomiting. Did I mention this is being filmed live? Oh, yes, I did. But, there’s also a live studio audience. Why do people say a live audience? As opposed to a dead one? When has that ever happened? “This show was filmed before a dead studio audience.”

  Dammit, Arabella, focus, already!

  Dylan walks across the stage while she says, “Now, if you haven’t been living under a rock for the past few months, you already know that ABN has a very special nature documentary series coming your way starring the gorgeous and talented Princess Arabella herself and, of course, Will Banks, one of the world’s greatest and hottest outdoor enthusiasts. We whisked them off to the Congo and dropped them into the jungle where they were forced to make their way out with nothing but their wits and each other.”

  Dramatic pause and hair flip. “And let me tell you folks, things got pretty steamy out there in the jungle, if you get my drift.” She aims an open-mouthed wink into the camera. “So, without further ado, let’s get them out here, shall we?”