Finding Love

by Natalie Ann

  She didn’t have time to dispute his claim. Not when he was kissing her like that. When her body felt like it was a pot simmering on the stove just waiting to boil over.

  It seemed now she had no thoughts in her head at all. Nothing wrong with that either.

  ***

  Erik was pushing the envelope. He knew it and surprisingly he was enjoying it.

  He’d told himself he was going to go slow. Didn’t they just agree a short time ago to leave options on the table? To let things play out. And here he was laying it all out there and telling her that he was going to do everything within his power to change her mind.

  In the short amount of time they’d spent together, he saw himself wanting more. Needing more. And when he felt like he’d never felt before—and was dying for it to continue—then he was going to work harder than ever to make sure she felt the same way.

  When she wound her arms around his neck, he lifted her up off the stairs and carried her to the couch, pulling her down on his lap. She was still covered, but barely.

  It was fine for now. His mouth was working hers over, tasting her and sucking her in. More like she was sucking him in.

  The only problem was, there was very little barrier between her heat and his. His shorts and boxers, her bare behind on his lap. Not much. Not when it was like putting his face in front of a fire, the flames shooting up higher and higher threatening to leave third-degree burns.

  She didn’t seem to mind though, adjusting herself on his hips and deepening the kiss some more, her hands now roaming down his arms and back up again.

  He took a chance and did the same. As much as he wanted to put his hand under the shirt she was wearing, he knew he couldn’t. He’d be touching more than either of them bargained for yet.

  She wasn’t a tease; he knew that. But he wouldn’t push either. No use putting either of them in a position that could turn south in a heartbeat.

  There was nothing wrong with kissing though. If he felt like he was in college necking with someone in his dorm room before his roommate came back, he didn’t care. Sometimes it was good to lose yourself in your past. Other times not so much.

  “Erik,” she mumbled.

  “Yeah,” he said, his lips going down her neck.

  “What’s that buzzing sound?”

  He had to focus and listen because he was in a fog of desire right now and the only sounds he heard were his heart thumping and his blood rushing. “Shit. The dryer.”

  “My clothes are all done,” she said, a little bit of disappointment in her voice...or wishful thinking on his part.

  “It sounds it.”

  “I guess I should get up and go get them.”

  “I guess we should,” he said, leaning back.

  “But once I’m dressed we could come right back here and continue what we’re doing.”

  He smiled. “We could.”

  “What time do you have to leave for work?” she asked, wiggling to get off his lap. He was missing her warmth already, but pushed it aside knowing they were going to end up right back here.

  He looked at his watch. “I need to start getting ready in about two hours or so.”

  “Plenty enough time to come back to the couch. Maybe with more clothes on, your hands might end up in other places than on my arms,” Sheldon said.

  They were standing in his laundry room now. He pulled out her tiny pink bikinis and watched as she took ahold of them, then slipped them on under his shirt. Somehow that was sexier than her standing there with nothing on. Then she grabbed her shorts and slid them on.

  “We could do that, if you’d like,” Erik said.

  “I’d like it. I guess the question is, would you?” Sheldon asked.

  She grabbed her bra and turned her back, then took his shirt off and he felt himself get even harder than he was while she put her bra on and reached her hand out for her tank top, just looking over her shoulder. Who would have thought putting clothes on would be sexier than taking them off?

  “I brought it up, so I think it’s obvious,” she said, laughing.

  “You’ve brought up quite a bit today.”

  She turned around and smirked. “Talk about obvious and cheesy.”

  But she was grinning so he took it in stride. “Sorry. I couldn’t resist.”

  “Well then, now that I’m all warmed up, let’s go back on the couch and continue necking and see where our hands end up.”

  Two hours later he walked her to the door, kissed her one last time and said he’d try to call her tonight, if not tomorrow.

  They did indeed let their hands wander more than he figured they would and it was enough. Because though he wasn’t completely satisfied physically, he was satisfied on an emotional level.

  They got back to even playing fields on the couch, then stayed there. And that was what he wanted. Level. No one ahead of the other. No one trying to beat the other. No competition to be the best or the most popular. Even the most successful.

  Just two people who wanted each other and wanted to enjoy their time together.

  Too Good

  “How many dates is this now?” Melissa asked. “Five, six?”

  “It will be the sixth,” Sheldon said.

  “Almost a month, right?”

  “I thought I was the only one writing a book.” Sheldon wrinkled her nose. She had a feeling she knew where Melissa was going with this. They were sitting on Melissa’s dock in their swimsuits getting a little bit of sun between Melissa’s appointments.

  “Someone has to keep tabs on you. Someone has to remind you to not listen to your mother.”

  Sheldon picked up her bottle of water and took a long sip, trying to figure out how to respond. She didn’t normally think before she spoke, but lately it seemed she was doing a lot of things differently.

  “What’s wrong with my mother?”

  Melissa turned and lifted her wide shades off her face, then set them on her head, pushing her long hair back. “Nothing. Your mother is a very sweet lady. I like her a lot, even if she doesn’t care so much for me. But she has a very negative attitude about life in general. It tends to wear off on you. I’m here to counter that.”

  Sheldon snorted. “It’s not about life in general.”

  “Then about men,” Melissa corrected. “I get it. I really do. But she never even gave someone else a chance. Why?”

  “You’d have to ask her that.”

  “I’d rather not. You know she wishes I didn’t have much influence on you.”

  “It’s a good influence though.” Melissa had sold Sheldon her house. Then Sheldon spent months interviewing her on all sorts of real estate dealings and stories for a book. It’d only taken two interviews for Sheldon to know she and Melissa were going to be close friends.

  “Because we think a lot alike.”

  “Not as much alike as you wish.”

  Melissa laughed. “I understand why your mom is the way she is based on what you’ve said. I understand why you are too. But you’ve tried before.”

  “And have ended up proving my mother was right,” Sheldon interrupted.

  “But you’re trying again.”

  “Maybe,” Sheldon said, not wanting to admit much more. Not wanting to say that she was seeing something that she really wanted for once in her life and wasn’t sure how to approach it.

  “After a month, it’s more than dating, Sheldon. This is turning into a relationship.”

  Sheldon knew that. She’d seen the signs of it, so no use arguing with Melissa. “I’m nervous.”

  “Why? What’s there to be nervous about?”

  “He’s almost too good to be true.”

  “And that’s a bad thing?” Melissa asked.

  “You know why. It’s taken me a long time to get past things. This is the most I’ve put myself out there in years.”

  “And you’re afraid of getting burned again. I get it. But, really, Sheldon. That was college.”

  “It doesn’t matter. It was horrible.
It was life changing.” And she didn’t want to talk about it right now.

  “If I ever meet that prick I’m going to kick him in the balls.”

  “Get in line. I wish I’d been strong enough back then to do it.”

  “Anyway. Let’s not ruin this conversation. Back to Dr. Hotty Pants. Speaking of which, have you gotten in his yet?”

  Sheldon started to cough on the water she was drinking. “No.”

  “What’s wrong with him?”

  “I think we’ll be fixing that tomorrow night.”

  “Fixing it? Or making it right?” Melissa asked, laughing.

  “Both.”

  “What do you think he’s waiting for? Or is it you?”

  “It’s not me,” Sheldon said, thinking of their second date when she’d flirted with him while she put her clothes back on, then crawled into his lap for another hour of playful kissing. How the heck did he control himself, she wondered?

  And not just that time, but the next three dates they’d had. Each time they ended up doing some serious necking and massive groping, but nothing else. He always stopped. She never knew what real sexual frustration was like until she met Erik.

  It was like he was waiting for her to say something. Waiting for her to maybe...change her mind.

  She had no intention of changing her mind though. She wanted to do more. He was the one holding back. Not her.

  “So tell me more about why you think he’s too good to be true?”

  “He’s nice. He’s considerate. He knew I couldn’t drink coffee on the first date.”

  “And he brought you coffee truffles,” Melissa finished. “I thought that was worth a few points myself.”

  “He likes to be outdoors like me. We’re always doing something. It’s like he realizes I sit around all the time and when I’m not writing I just want to move.”

  “Have you said that to him before?” Melissa asked.

  “I may have indirectly.”

  “So then he listens to you.”

  “Yeah.

  “Again,” Melissa said, “what is wrong with that?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I think you’re looking for something that isn’t there. You should stop looking and just enjoy. End of story.”

  “Stories don’t end like that,” Sheldon said, grinning.

  “In your world, you can have them end any way you want. So do it.”

  ***

  “So you think my ulcer is healed enough for me to have pizza?” Sheldon asked.

  Erik pulled his car in front of an Italian restaurant. “You don’t have to get pizza. You can get anything you want here.”

  “That’s true. And I did have a little sauce a few weeks ago and it was fine.”

  They got out of his car and made their way inside. “Splurge a little,” he said.

  “Oh, I plan on splurging a lot tonight.”

  She’d been making comments like that for weeks now. He had a feeling his time was running out and he was just fine with it. He was shocked he’d lasted as long as he had.

  He supposed he had his job to thank for it. As busy as he was, he was lucky to carve out time to meet with her at least twice a week. But when they weren’t on a date, they were talking, so it didn’t feel like there was a big gap in time. Just enough to make their dates feel like torture, wondering when they would move onto the next step. She talked about anticipation before and getting it over with...

  He was the one holding back. It was all him. But he wasn’t doing anything until she realized this wasn’t dating. If she didn’t want to officially put a stamp on it calling it a relationship, fine, but it was more than dating and he wanted her to admit it. Maybe tonight.

  The waitress came over and took their orders. Since he had the night off and didn’t need to go in for almost twenty-four hours, he ordered a beer. She got one too. The first time she’d drunk anything other than water or tea when they were together.

  “Guess you’re feeling much better then?” he asked.

  “Yes, I am. I’ve been dying for a beer. Like I said, splurging.”

  Maybe he was reading the whole thing wrong. Wouldn’t that be a kick in the balls.

  “Would you like any appetizers?” the waitress asked when she brought them back their beers.

  “How about an order of jalapeno poppers,” Erik said, watching her laugh.

  “And a chef salad. We’ll split them both,” Sheldon said. The waitress turned and left. “You remembered.”

  “Oh, you liked them too?” he asked, acting surprised.

  She reached over and slapped his hand playfully. “Do you ever forget anything?”

  “I’ve been known to a time or two.” At least Marjorie accused him of that. Though he never forgot anniversaries or birthdays. Not like she did. He might have been as busy and tired as her, but he put the important things first. He thought she would have too. But he pushed his ex from his mind because she didn’t belong there anymore.

  “So did you have any plans after dinner tonight? Or are we just going to relax?” she asked.

  Perfect time to get into this conversation. “I thought we could relax. Where do you want to go?”

  “Back to my place,” she said, staring at him hard, heat hitting him below the belt. “I thought maybe we could detour by yours and you could get a change of clothing.”

  “I could do that.” That heat was turning into a five-alarm fire now. “On one condition, though.”

  “What’s that?” she asked, looking a little unsure. He hadn’t seen her look unsure once yet. The last thing he wanted to do was cool her off.

  “That you tell me where this is going. Us. Are we still just dating, or is it at least another step up on the ladder?”

  She squinted her eye at him. “You’re good.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning you didn’t use the R word. Sneaky. I like that. And because I like the way you said it, then I’ll tell you—yes, it’s moved up another rung on the ladder.”

  “How many rungs?” He didn’t know it was possible for his heart to race this fast just sitting still.

  “Don’t push your luck.”

  She laughed, but he knew a gentle scold when he saw one. He was smart enough to change the subject. It wasn’t the place to continue. Not when they hadn’t even ordered and he was already more sexually frustrated than he’d been in his life. Thankfully the frustration would be ending shortly.

  More Realistic

  Another point for him, Sheldon thought when they were driving back to her place. They’d already stopped and gotten an overnight bag for Erik.

  Now she knew what was holding him back. Seemed he and Melissa were more alike than she wanted to admit. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to actually admit it was more than dating, but felt he was being so honest and open with her, he deserved the same from her.

  There was a part of her still pulling the throttle back though. She probably always would. It was hard to change a lifetime of worries and fears. Somehow Erik was helping.

  “Are you going to cook me breakfast tomorrow?” Erik asked, drawing her out of her thoughts.

  “I could do that. I just realized I haven’t cooked for you once yet. We always go out. Or do you like to go out?”

  “I don’t mind home-cooked meals. Do you like to cook?”

  “I do. I don’t do it often because it’s not fun cooking for one person. But in the past month, I’ve been cooking more. Making things that I can eat leftover easily enough. Trying to make healthier choices. But I’d like to cook dinner for you next.”

  “I’d like that too,” he said, reaching his hand over and placing it on hers between them in the car. Little things like that, things he did all the time, always melted her heart. She never realized she was such a sucker.

  The rest of the ride was taken in relative silence, which surprised her. They never had any silence between them. “Are you nervous?”

  He started to laugh at her. “Not really. Are
you?”

  “Nope,” she said. “You just aren’t normally this quiet. Are you afraid I might be too much for you?”

  “I’m hoping you will be,” he said, grinning.

  “I think we’ll be just enough for each other.” Then she stopped and asked, “Have you read any of my books?”

  He looked startled for a moment. “Why?”

  “By the look on your face, I’m going to think you have. You can tell me. It’s not a big deal.”

  “I’ve read a few.”

  “Okay. Then you know I have sex scenes in my books.”

  “I do,” he said. “I’m painfully aware of that.”

  “Painfully?” Oh boy, maybe they should have had this conversation long before they were driving to her house to do the horizontal mambo for the first time.

  “Well, I haven’t had any type of sexual activity in quite some time. Then factor in those scenes and well...painfully aware.”

  She grinned now. “Ah. Got it. So, anyway, you see I don’t write anything completely out there.”

  “Nope. All normal stuff that I’ve read.”

  “I’m trying not to be insulted over the ‘normal’ comment.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Because every writer wants to be unique. But I know there are only so many ways and positions I could write without breaking out whips and chains, other partners and so on.”

  The car swerved a bit and she burst out laughing. “Are those in the other books?”

  “What other books?”

  “The books with the half-dressed guys on the covers?”

  She’d forgotten she’d told him about that. It wasn’t like her to forget something like that. “No. Those are more of the same. Just branded differently. The guys are more aggressive. I guess bad boys would be the best way to describe them.”

  “Why do you have to brand them differently?”

  “Because there are some readers out there who only want to read about bad boys and they like looking at that on the cover. Then there are readers who want to read about men that they might actually have a chance with in life. Someone that is more realistic. Like a doctor that might care for them one day in the ER.”