Island (Portentous Destiny Series Book 1)

by S. E. Rose

  “Laura?” he whispers.

  “Jack,” is all I say.

  “Oh thank God!” he cries out and pulls me tight against him. I feel a little déjà vu in the moment. I feel tears fall down his cheeks and run over mine. I pull back away.

  “How long have we been here?”

  “About an hour.”

  “Is it over?” I whisper. I’m afraid of what he might say, but I have to know whether this nightmare has ended.

  “Yes, baby. Yes, it’s over. No one is going to hurt you, ever.”

  I’m silent for a moment. I nod. “I remembered.”

  “Remembered?” He looks at me not understanding.

  “I remember the accident.”

  “Love, there was no accident. You saved my life. You—”

  “No, not tonight. I remember the accident with Sean. They said I would never remember it, but I remembered something.”

  His eyes well with more tears. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

  “No, don’t be. I tried so hard to remember for so long. I didn’t think I could, but tonight…I don’t know where I went or why I…I remembered the lights and a voice. I think it was the paramedic.”

  “You were in shock. I was so worried that you wouldn’t come back to me. You just shut down,” he whispers, his eyes wide.

  “I guess I was in shock, but I remember everything.” I pause. “If I hadn’t found that gun…Jack, why do you have a handgun? Why do you have two? They aren’t legal here.”

  He takes a deep breath. “I need to tell you something, something no one else knows, not Oliver, Mal, no one. Oliver thinks I was recruited to be an informant and maybe did some glorified work beyond that as does everyone else now, but I had cleaned myself up when I met those agents. They found me and recruited me. I went deep undercover for them. I pretended to be an informant. They made me ‘disappear’ for a few months. I was supposed to be in a rehab clinic. Everyone, even my parents and Oliver, thought I was in rehab. But instead, they trained me. They issued me those handguns. After Alexei began to suspect something, they pulled me out of there. They wanted me to lie low for a while. So I came back here and settled into a new life, knowing that they could call me up at any moment. I never thought for one minute that you would do what you did. I’ve known Agent Banks for a very long time, Laura. And that is why I had the handgun.” He raises an eyebrow. “How did you find it?”

  “The other night, when I wanted a book.” I shrug.

  “I see. I should have kept it somewhere else.”

  “But if you had, then…,” I trail off, not wanting to say those words. “What now?”

  “Well, I’ll let the doctor know that you are OK. And then they should discharge us.”

  “No, I mean, the case, everything.”

  “I…I don’t know,” he admits. “We’ll be debriefed at some point.”

  He presses a button by the bed and a doctor comes in and examines me. He tells me that I was in shock. After some arguing, he agrees to release me. I have to laugh at the number of times I’ve been to this hospital in only a few weeks. Perhaps I should have a wing named after me. Jack leads me out to the waiting room where Oliver and Mal sit.

  “Laura?” Mal asks and runs up and hugs me. “We were so worried.”

  We all drive home in silence. Oliver drops us off at the cottage and then comes back with some things for us. Jack fills the tub and carefully undresses me. I climb over the side of the tub and sit down. He gets in behind me and pulls me back against him. It’s late, maybe 1:00 a.m., but I’m not tired yet. He gently cleans me and washes my hair, taking extra caution with the water as he pours it over my head. He finishes with me and then cleans himself. Then, I just lie back and close my eyes. He rubs small circles against my abdomen. I breathe in his scent, and for the first time in a long time, I feel content and safe.

  After a while, he helps me to my feet and dries me off before pulling one of his t-shirts over my head. I follow him to the bed and he tucks me in before climbing in next to me and pulling me against him. He wraps his arms around me and I snuggle against his chest. He runs his fingers up and down my back. My eyelids start to get heavy. I don’t even fight the sleep that overtakes me.

  Chapter 36

  Laura’s Playlist: “How Loud Your Heart Gets” by Lucius

  The next few days are a flurry of activity. Agents question us for hours separately and then together. We learn that they knew Alexei might come back here, though they didn’t know he had arrived until after I killed him. The agents discuss that I may need to come back for the trials of Ben, Leo, and Simon. It’s a relief to hear that they are all now in custody and will stand trial for their crimes. I have several tearful conversations with my kids and then my mom and brother and even Sean’s sister who I haven’t spoken to for months. Jack stays with me and he becomes my rock in the storm.

  Somehow, during the madness, I manage to send my editor my final version of the book I was working on this whole time. So much for my quiet island. Normally, I am satisfied and proud of my work, but I am numb to this book. I know it needs to be finished and I feel like finishing it closes the chapter on this crazy summer and everything that happened. I have a thousand new story ideas in my head and they are all a departure from everything I’ve ever written.

  I jot notes feverishly and I know that I will start writing when I go home in a few days. My plane tickets are booked and I am packed. Jack is the only thing that I don’t have resolved and I don’t know how to resolve it. Jack lives here and I live, well, not here. I’ve thought about a million scenarios, but they all come down to crazy immigration paperwork and several years of waiting. I try to build a brick wall around my heart. I’ve fallen for him and hard. With everything we’ve been through, I know we are linked forever, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.

  We spend every second together as the final two days approach. We spend time with Mal, Oliver, and Rose. My last dinner in Stonehaven is at the manor house. Rose gives me a picture she painted and Mal and Oliver talk about visiting me and the kids during Rose’s next break from school. Jack and I head back to his house. It is no longer a crime scene and it’s been cleaned, but I don’t think I can stay there. Jack doesn’t even ask. We get my last few items from the house and then he takes us over to the cottage. I pack and then we drink my last bottle of wine and eat my last block of cheese from Mal’s shop. We sit out on the back patio and watch the sky fall into a twilight blue.

  “I wish I could live in this moment forever,” I say with a sigh.

  “Me too,” he whispers, pulling me closer.

  “I don’t want to leave you tomorrow.”

  “I know, my love. I’m working on it,” he answers and kisses my head.

  “Maybe we’ll see each other, if I have to come back to testify in a few months.”

  “Perhaps.”

  “I love you,” I say, pulling my head up to look into his eyes.

  “I love you, too,” he says and he kisses me softly.

  We make love slowly after we finish our wine, taking our time as we know this may be our last time together. I memorize everything about Jack and commit it to memory. We fall asleep in each other’s arms and I feel content and loved.

  The sun is shining in my window when I wake. Jack is gone. I look at the time and see he’s out for his run. I pack up my last few things and look around. I don’t want to say goodbye to him and staying any longer will mean exactly that. I grab a pen and paper and write him a note.

  Jack,

  There are so many things I still have to tell you. So many words I still want to say to you. But I know my time is up and I have to go. I fell for you the first time I saw you, that day I was lost. And I don’t regret loving you for a single minute. I’m not sure what is between us after all of this is over, but I do know you have my heart and always will. I’m leaving a piece of me here with you. Thank you for loving me, for teaching me that I can still love and be loved.

  Thank you for ev
erything. I love you, always and forever.

  XOXO, Laura

  I wipe a stray tear and get in the car and slowly drive away. I cry all the way to the airport and then some more as I wait. The flight home seems to take eons. But my sullenness eases slightly when I’m greeted with a giant “welcome home” sign and my two goofy kiddos. They chat the whole way to my home.

  “Lunch tomorrow?” Lily asks.

  “Sure, sweetie, that sounds good. I can’t believe you’re both back to school on Monday.” I shake my head as Nick pulls my suitcases out from the trunk.

  “Night, Mom,” Nick says and they both give me a hug.

  Hagrid greets me at the door and rubs his head against my leg.

  “Hey there, fluffy monster.” I pick him up and hug him and his motor goes from low to high. I decide that I’m way too tired to unpack, so I shower and put on some yoga pants and an old college t-shirt. I curl up with Hagrid and we fall asleep.

  I wake to a wonderful smell. It smells like Jack’s garden: snapdragons, roses, lavender, honeysuckle, and other flowers that I can’t identify. Funny how the memory works, I think to myself. I can tell it’s morning as the light is pouring in through my bedroom window and I can see it through my eyelids. I just want to lie here for one moment enjoying my memories. I slowly open my eyes. Flowers, there are flowers in my room. I shoot up and look around. My room is covered with flowers. Vases of flowers sit on every surface. I’m confused. Did the kids surprise me? Hagrid isn’t lying on the bed. I look around, slightly panicked and then I lock eyes with Jack. He sits on the chair in the corner of my room. Hagrid is on his lap, curled in a ball, sleeping. Jack is petting him and watching me. I rub my eyes, not believing what I am seeing.

  “Jack!?” I say.

  “Hello there, sleeping beauty,” he murmurs, slowly putting Hagrid down. Hagrid meows at him in protest before scampering off down the hall.

  “I…when…how did…”

  He places a finger on my lips as he sits down next to me.

  “I let one woman I loved leave when I knew she shouldn’t be going and I’ll be damned if I’m going to make that same mistake twice,” he says and looks at me.

  “But I don’t understand.” I look at him confused by everything.

  “I got back from my jog and found your note and no you. I hopped in my car and grabbed my passport and drove like hell to get to the airport, but your plane had just taken off. So I got the next one.”

  He brushes the hair out of my face and caresses my cheek. I lean against his big hand, my head feeling small in comparison.

  “Laura, I love you. I’m not letting you go. This isn’t some summer fling for me and I don’t think it is for you either. This,” he motions between us, “is real. And I’m not letting it go.”

  “But—” I start.

  “No buts,” he says, cutting me off. “I told you I was working on a way for us to be together and I did and we will be. The U.S. counterparts on our case have gotten me a special residency visa. They want me to teach at Quantico for a while. I’ll stay here with you and we can figure out the rest.”

  My head spins and I sit down. “Life isn’t that simple, Jack. There aren’t happy endings where everything is tied up in neat little bows.”

  “I know, love,” he answers as he moves closer to me on the bed. “I know that, but I’m not willing to throw this away. I’m willing to fight for us. I know it will be hard. Life isn’t simple. But me being here on this side of the pond sure is a start.”

  I don’t know why in that moment that my mind trails back to the day I followed Jack to the money drop off, but it does. Now that I know what the inscription on the grave means and how it really happened, I know I need to tell him. I don’t want secrets between us.

  “Jack.” I look into his eyes, those amazing green eyes. “I need to tell you something.” I pause searching for the right words. “I followed you.” He looks at me with confusion and shakes his head indicating he doesn’t understand. “After Aberdeen, I followed you. Agent Banks told me to follow you and find where the money went. I followed you to her grave and I saw the tin.”

  His eyes look down. He runs a hand through his hair. “When Alexei first came to see me, remember?” I nod. “He told me if I didn’t follow his orders, then he would take what mattered to me. He knew about my visits with Rose, about you and me, and about Oliver and me talking again. In building these relationships, I had given him my kryptonite and he knew it. He had me by the balls and I was too much of an arse to call his bluff because, deep down, I knew that it was not a bluff. Agent Banks didn’t want me to do it and I went against his orders.”

  “I didn’t understand the inscription on the grave until you said about the baby,” I whisper, looking back into his eyes. His eyes well for a moment and he sighs.

  “I didn’t mean for you to find out like that. I lost everything in that accident, everything. And everything I’ve done since I’ve met you has been to protect you. At first, I thought we’d just have some fun. I haven’t had fun in a long time. But you wove your spell around me and I got lost in it.” He stops and looks at me. He brings his hand to my face and caresses my cheek and my jaw and then kisses me. When he pulls back, he looks into my eyes again. “Life isn’t perfect, Laura, but this is.” He motions between us. “And I’ll be damned if I give up the one perfect thing in my life because of some challenges. I don’t deserve a second chance at being happy, but for some fucked-up reason the universe has given it to me and I won’t fuck it up again.”

  “Jack, there’s something else,” I start. I need to tell him what Alexei said in the cave. I had wanted to tell him all these things before I left, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to detract from the last few days I had with him. He looks at me.

  “In the cave, Alexei said something. It’s something you need to know, I just didn’t know how to tell you.” I sigh. I should have told him. “The accident, Abby’s accident, wasn’t an accident. He did something to the car. Well, he implied that he did something.” Jack frowns and shakes his head.

  “No, the car was fine. The police had it examined,” he states. “Mal had been drinking. Abby drove and lost control.”

  “Have them look through the evidence again. He knew about the baby.”

  Jack’s eyes widen at that comment. “That’s not possible. We didn’t find out until Abby was at the hospital.” Jack pauses. “He probably found out from the hospital records. Although, I think she knew, or at least suspected. That would explain why she wasn’t drinking that night.”

  “Well, he did know, and he knew about it back then.”

  “Laura, I have to let that go. All of us have to let that go,” he says after a long pause. “Abby and the baby were my future, but the universe had different plans.” He pauses again and wipes a tear from my cheek. “Now you are my future.”

  My eyes tear up again at his words because they ring true for him, but also for me. I don’t deserve him and maybe that does make this perfect, a second chance for both of us. A second chance to be happy and I know in that moment that I can’t let it slip through my fingers. I vow to myself to see this through, even if it ends in misery and heartache. I owe it to myself, and to Sean. I owe it to Jack. I lean in and kiss him. And as I taste him, I know that this is perfect.

  Epilogue

  Laura’s Playlist: “Life is Beautiful” by Vega4

  Six months later…

  Jack holds my hand and gives it a squeeze. If he hadn’t been here with me, I don’t know if I could have relived all of it. But I did and now it’s over. We did get called back to testify and I just finished my testimony today. As we walk out of the court building, I know I will be fine for the first time in a long time.

  Jack opens the car door before getting in next to me. Our driver pulls away and takes us back to the estate house. Rose greets us at the door when we arrive.

  “How was it? Were you scared? Were the bad guys there?” she grills us as Mal
comes up behind her and lays a hand on her shoulder.

  “Rose, let them come in and no more questions. Off you go, Lily is down at the stables waiting for you,” Mal says in her best authoritative voice before turning to us and rolling her eyes. Rose gives a pouty face to her mom and then skips off toward the kitchen to grab a cookie on the way no doubt.

  Mal embraces us. “How was it? Everything alright?”

  I nod. Jack tightens his grip on my hand. “Fine,” he replies.

  Oliver walks in from the study and puts his arms around Mal’s waist. He kisses her cheek and looks to us. “Everything went OK? We are scheduled to testify in two days. They called this morning. They said Rose and Lily can testify via closed-circuit camera so they don’t have to be in the room with them.”

  “Good,” I breathe. I’d been worried about Lily testifying although she’s such a spitfire that she keeps ensuring me that she wants to “get those fuckers.” We’ve been back here for three days.

  Last summer seems like a million years ago. Lily and Nick are nearly done with school. They took a few days off before spring break to come here and will return when their break is over. Nick got a job offer with the company he’s been interning with for over a year now. He accepted and starts two weeks after graduation. Lily is considering a trip to South America before job searching. She wants to work on her Spanish and do family research. Jack still is teaching at the FBI Academy and now the CIA has asked for him to do some training with their agents as well. For now, he’s living with me in the condo and we are just enjoying a normal life. Mal and Oliver finally got back together and even renewed their vows over the holidays. They had a small ceremony and then came to the U.S. and spent some time with all of us. Rose is now determined to study at Georgetown ever since I took her on a visit to M Street for some shopping.

  What happened still haunts all of us in different ways. Jack and I both have nightmares from time to time. The publicity of the case eventually got to us and I was forced to relive it after some asshole at my agent’s office let it slip that I was involved. Since then things have died down. The press can only latch onto a story for so long. Although, I no doubt believe we’ll be asked more questions for the next few weeks until the trial news is tossed aside for some juicier story. Lily is still in therapy. She made Nick go a few times, although he’s largely unscathed by it all. Rose is still in therapy too and Mal and Oliver seem to be taking comfort in one another. Oliver finally decided to go back into law. He and Jack are trying to figure out what to do with their property. Neither wants to stay here any longer. I suggested a nature preserve and so far that idea seems to be at the top of their list. Oliver says they are moving back to town after Rose finishes school this year. They want a new start in a new house. I don’t know how things will turn out, but I do know that we all have a bond that will last us the rest of our lives.