The Mocking Program

by Alan Dean Foster

  "What are you teeny guys, anyway? What do you want from us? What do you want from me?"

  From beneath her bed, from the bathroom, from under the closet door, more wugs appeared. Dozens more. The range of shapes and sizes was breathtaking. No two were alike. It was almost as if they were experimenting with themselves, searching for an ideal structure, trying to find the best way to be whatever it was they were. She could understand that. In many ways, she had embarked on the same kind of journey. Whirring and buzzing and humming softly to themselves, they climbed up onto the window seat, and onto her.

  Evolving together they might be, she reflected, but there was no disputing who was the more ticklish. Covered in curious wugs, she began to giggle, then to laugh.

  She wondered what that nice federale Angel Cardenas would have thought of it.

  El Fin

  GLOSSARY OF SPANG

  (Spanish-English slang)

  Expressions

  "Hoh"—Strip exclamation. Variant of "Whoa!"

  "Como se happening?"—combination of Sp. "What is" & English "

  To the opto"—to take something to the max(imum)

  "What's skewed?"—what's wrong?

  "Verdad"—truth; it's for sure. From Sp. for "truth"

  "Faz"—fabulous, great, wonderful

  "Andale!"—go! Get going! From the Sp.

  Verbs

  Note: In the slang of the Strip, many Spanish verbs are "spanged" by having their original suffixes anglicized. To wit, solicitar (to solicit or request) adds the Eng. -ed and -ing, instead of the usual Sp. endings. As in "he solicitared (something)" or "he was solicitaring."

  abla—to talk or say something. From Sp. hablar, to talk

  ambulate—to go, move

  arribed—arrived; to arrive. From Sp. arribar, to arrive

  boney—to scavenge someone's bones and marrow

  bungo—used like "nez"

  canyon—to cut deeply

  carny—to assail a citizen with advertisements

  coge—to fuck. From Mex. Slang coger, to fuck

  cogit—to create, make, invent. From Eng. Cogitate

  cojone—to make something tougher. From Sp. cojones, balls

  coz—to make use of. As in "to cozy up to something"

  dock—to get somebody (as in archaic "put them in the dock"—only worse)

  drac—to scavenge someone's blood

  expiate—to kill

  eyedee—to identify someone, something

  facilit—to take it easy, relax. From Eng. facile & Sp. facil, easy

  facture—to make or manufacture something

  flash—to show advertisements

  mess—to send a message; communicate

  mickey—to customize something; esp. by the Disony entertainment multinat

  nez—to screw up or mess up

  pop—to open

  portage—to carry

  rainbow—to change color

  respirate—to extort, usually money

  romp—to ruin. From Eng. to romp & Sp. romper, to destroy

  roto—to steal; to mug someone

  sabe—to know. From the Sp.

  shrewd—to speak or perceive shrewdly

  shunt—synonym of ambulate

  skip—to take or drag

  skrag—to beat someone up bad

  slag—to lead someone on; to tease. Also, to melt something

  snak—to catch, intercept something

  solicitar—to solicit, request. From the Sp.

  somber—to say or speak somberly

  vape—to kill

  vete—to hang out with someone

  vitalize—to make or create or bring something into existence

  volubate—to talk, speak. From Eng. Voluble

  waft—to go away; tell someone to get lost

  whirligig—to pass something along

  Other

  agro—aggression. An aggressive person. From N. Zealand slang

  antisoc—an antisocial person, criminal element

  baggerag—a low-class mugger

  Big Box, the—contemporary equivalent of the old, historic Internet

  biosurge—a surgeon with advanced mechanical handling skills

  Bonezone—a dangerous, lawless area

  boxes—linked computers. Intranets to infranets to the Big Box itself

  buitrees—from Sp. buitre, vulture

  burley—especially messy or nasty garbage; junk. From Aust. Slang

  cerebro—brains; brainy

  chameleon—a highly sensitive, sensor-equipped device that fits over the face and is capable of mimicking another person's facial features.

  chica—a chick, a girl. From Sp. Slang

  chieflado—the head of a ninloco gang. From Eng. chief & Sp. chiflado, crazy

  chingaroon—a real tough fucker. From Sp. chingaron (a tough fucker) and the vinegaroon, an especially ugly desert arachnid

  diopter—a modern helicopter

  chopwire—a pocket-sized weapon for delivering a paralyzing electrical charge

  cleanie—a solid, upstanding, middle-class citizen

  codo—a condominium

  comm—a telephone or other communications device

  colorcrawl—a glowing, neonlike, kinetic wall décor

  comercio—a shop or business. From the Sp. crunch—computing power

  culo—asshole. From Sp. Slang

  desal—desalinated seawater

  dinkum—the truth; for real. From Aust. slang fair dinkum

  Disony—the giant Disney-Sony entertainment multinat

  disruptor—a device for discharging a powerful electromagnetic pulse

  drool—a snitch

  drongo—a bum, loser, bad guy. From Aust. Slang

  durable—tough guy; from Eng. durable and Sp. duro, tough

  eeLancer—a freelance technology expert

  federale—from Sp. for cop, policeman

  fedoco—a disparaging term for a federale

  fejoada—a spicy Brazilian dish

  feleon—a real nasty bad guy. From Eng. felon & Mex. slang feon, an ugly sucker

  feral (a)—an unregistered resident of the nether regions of the Strip

  flashman—a PR specialist. May be either sex

  flicker—a gun that fires hypodermic shells; invisible to most weapons detectors

  frac—an anti-personnel grenade

  gazehaze—rumors

  gengineering—genetic engineering, often for cosmetic reasons

  giggilo—comb, of giggle and gigolo

  gloomer—a sextel featuring hard sex

  goofac—(juvie slang) a doofus

  gordo—Sp. Fat

  gram—a computer program

  hangle—a detailed discussion. From Eng. haggle and hang

  hardzine—a printed newspaper, magazine, brochure, etc.

  homber—from original Sp. hombre, but pronounced as Eng. A guy, a male

  huevos—"balls." From Sp., literally "eggs"

  husher—a device that enhances silence by canceling out other sounds

  induction tube—a maglev mass transportation system common throughout North America

  infovoid—the usable three-dimensional area of an open, active box

  integral—intact, whole, undamaged, unharmed

  juice—any kind of drug

  keiretsu—a huge industrial-commercial combine. From the Japanese

  kims—kilometers

  kosh—as in "kosher cash." Legitimate money

  krilliabase—food made from krill

  lepero—From Mex. slang lepero, leper; a foul-mouthed, obscene creep

  Madison ejector—a device for foisting multiple, alterable ads on a helpless public

  macrolice—a large police file

  maquiladora—an old border (Strip) manufacturing plant

  masalsa—country-style north Mexican music. From Mex. salsa, a type of music, and masa, a corn flour used in the making of tortillas

  mataro(a)—assassin. From Sp. matar, to ki
ll

  medoggle—specialized hitech goggles for use by medical personnel meroin—a synthetic opiate

  mierde—shit. From the Sp.

  miragoo—a mirage tattoo

  molly—a mollysphere. A spherical hard drive suspended in a magnetic field that is read by a laser as it rotates. The integrated laser not only reads information stored on the surface, but can change focus, thus enabling it to read from many multiple layers within, as if reading information imprinted on the concentric layers of an onion.

  monger—someone with a complaint; a talker

  muerto—a dead person. From the Sp. Also used as a verb, to kill

  multinats—giant multinational corporations, companies

  muse lenses—wearable, eyeglasslike device for sensory playback

  muy malo—very bad. From the Sp.

  neg and pos—boy and girl. From Eng. negative and positive

  nacha—ass. From Mex. Slang

  Namerica—North American Union, consisting of old USA, Canada, & Mexico

  NFP—Namerican Federal Police; the federales nins;

  ninlocos—literally, "crazyboys." From Sp. nino & loco, child & crazy

  nodester—a dealer in muse wafers

  nonzafado—not with it, not "in"

  nypron—very strong but near-massless fiber based on aerogel technology

  OTS—Organization for Tropical Studies

  para-site—a Web site

  pend—penis. From Mex. slang pendejo

  pinche cabron—a fucking asshole. From Mex. Slang

  psychys—psychologists and psychiatrists

  qwilk shop—from "quick click." A store with high-tech componentry for sale

  Rara Aves—Rare Birds. From the Latin

  Sanjuana—the future arcomplex of greater San Diego and Tijuana

  scave—a scavenger

  seamyvits—porno

  sextel—a licensed brothel

  sheila—a woman. From Aust. Slang

  shocker—a small pistol-like device that fires electrically charged pellets

  soche—a school-like environment for teaching children life skills

  Schlage sesame—a device for decoding and unlocking an electronic lock

  siryore—a male honorific; combination of Eng. sir and Sp. senor.

  skim artist—a con man

  slywire—a wire-thin knife blade

  snaffler—someone who's too talkative. In Mex. slang, horicon

  snapper—a police sniper. From archaic 20th-century American slang

  soulpool—a poor part of a big city; not necessarily a slum area

  spacebase—an illegal narcotic

  sparkle—another illegal narcotic spizzed;

  spazzed out—wiped out, overwhelmed

  sponging—working the box (computer, Net, Web, etc.)

  stimstick—a legal smokable narcotic

  strewth—the truth, verdad. From Aust. Slang

  strine—Australian slang

  subcue—a personal identification chip installed under the skin; subcutaneously

  subgrub—a preteen

  sylph—a high-class whore

  tactile—a program that can be "felt." Uses enormous amounts of crunch

  tambaqui—a very large, very tasty fish from the Amazon basin

  tecant—a technological savant, i.e., a technical talent

  Tico/Tica—a nickname for male/female residents of Costa Rica

  todos—that's all

  tortuga—turtle. From the Sp.

  toyman—a kept man

  traba-job—a job, work. From Sp. trabajo, to work, and Eng. job.

  trochus—an edible mollusk from the South Pacific

  vacan—something that's cool, with it. From Peruvian slang

  vapor—talk, rumor

  vapowraith—an image formed out of "solid" smoke. More aerogel technology

  Verdes—ecological activists. From Sp. verde, green

  vertiprop—an aircraft that can fly like a plane but take off and land vertically

  vit—video pickup, camera, show . . . multiple usages referring to video

  vorec—voice recognition device, handheld, for controlling electronics

  wafers—small, flexible electronic storage media

  wanker—a goof-off, a no-good. From Aust. Slang

  wishwire—electronic ganglia

  Wugs—wireless underground gofer systems. The individual components of a communal AI lifeform that haunts the Strip

  WWF—World Wildlife Fund

  yakk—talk, chatter; talking ability

  yobbo—loser, bum. From Aust. slang

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Fourteen

  Fifteen

  Sixteen

  Seventeen

  Eighteen

  Glossary of Spang