by Chris Mullin
The Man’s schedule is awesome. After questions this afternoon he’s off to Washington on Concorde for dinner with Bush, returning overnight in time for the Cabinet at 10 a.m. tomorrow. Is all this rushing about strictly necessary?
Thursday, 8 November
Anji Hunter has resigned. She’s off to BP for an absurd sum of money.
It’s only four months since the party had to stump up an extra £60,000 in order to persuade her to stay. We’ve also lost Henry McLeish, our First Minister in Scotland, after a row about alleged misuse of the office costs allowance. The hacks have tasted blood. They will now increase pressure on Steve Byers.
Bev Hughes told me that Blunkett wanted to use the forthcoming anti-terrorist package (which includes an offence of inciting religious hatred) to abolish blasphemy, but the Archbishop of Canterbury produced a long list of conditions in return for his approval and so the idea had to be abandoned.
Monday, 12 November
Manchester
A city awash with drugs. Doomed youths begging in every other doorway, shootouts between dealers in Moss Side. The epidemic has also spawned a vast industry of publicly funded agencies full of well-meaning people who are trying to cope with it. The further they are from the coal face, the vaguer their prescriptions. They all seem to use phrases like ‘issues around’. We (members of the select committee) had a pleasant dinner with several of them. The most impressive was a man from Transform with plenty of front-line experience who argued for the legalisation of everything with the possible exception of crack cocaine (which produces violence, as opposed to most other drugs, which lead to indolence).
Tuesday, 13 November
Manchester
A morning visiting drugs projects. Everywhere we asked people what they would do and most, but by no means all, replied that they would move towards decriminalising, starting with heroin. One of the most vehement was a police superintendent, another a Methodist minister.
Decriminalisation, of course, would bring its own problems. One woman said, ‘I worry that we shall become as complacent towards drugs as we are towards alchohol.’ GPs will not be keen to have addicts shooting up in their surgeries. There would also be a problem with leakage – prescribed drugs finding their way into the black market. We talked to a couple of addicts, one of whom had just come back from Germany, where he said they have ‘shooting galleries’. Safe houses where heroin can be injected in private and needles properly disposed of, instead of being left around in streets.
Wednesday, 14 November
Kabul has fallen, along with Jalalabad and Herat. Our new friends in the Northern Alliance are rolling up the map with hardly a shot being fired. The Man made a statement. He did it very well. There was no triumphalism although he must be mightily relieved. No one expected this. A week ago there was talk on all sides that the war would last all winter and now it could be over in a matter of days. Victory, of course, brings a new set of problems. From Mazar there are reports that the Northern Alliance have massacred several hundred Arab volunteers.
Some of today’s papers carry gruesome pictures of a wounded prisoner being dragged around and summarily executed. Our new friends are not nice people. Television screens are full of pictures of wild Alliance gunmen swaggering around Kabul. Of the UN there is no sign. It was never meant to be like this.
The Man appeared only briefly at the parliamentary committee. Someone mentioned King Zahir. ‘The king will play a part in a transitional government,’ he said. Adding that Taliban members were ringing up the BBC’s Pashtun service saying they wanted to surrender to the king.
‘Nothing like 30 years’ exile in Rome for improving your poll ratings,’ I interjected.
‘I hope I never have to find out,’ he responded to general hilarity.
The Man said there must be three stages. First, the US, the UK, France and a few others would establish secure bases, Bagram airport for example. Second, there needed to be a UN force, involving Islamic countries. Third, the creation of a proper Afghan force. As regards al-Qaida he said, ‘There is a risk that these people have pre-cooked something before September 11. We can’t be sure there aren’t more out there.’
While all this was going on The Man was, as always, autographing photographs, cartoons and bottles of House of Commons whisky which he has been asked to sign. With Christmas approaching there were more than usual. I counted over 30 whiskies and a couple of champagnes lined up in three rows like a regiment of toy soldiers.
There was a sort of conveyor belt. JP and Robin Cook were passing them to The Man, JP indicating those that required particular dedications. It was, as someone remarked, a practical demonstration of joined-up government. By the end the Prime Minister and his deputy were visible only above a sea of whisky bottles. A great Private Eye cover.
Thursday, 15 November
A meeting of the select committee to finalise our report on the Anti-Terrorism Bill. It all has to be done in a great rush, because the Bill is due its second reading on Monday. In truth we have been rather timid and we are likely to be criticised. ‘Reluctantly’ we have accepted that there is a case for interning people who can’t be deported, and confined ourselves to calling for a sunset clause so that the government has to legislate again if it wants the measure to continue after five years.
We have an impressive new Tory on the committee – David Cameron, a young, bright libertarian who can be relied upon to follow his own instincts rather than the party line.
Tuesday, 20 November
We had the police to our drugs inquiry. Francis Wilkinson, a former Chief Constable of Gwent, argued for heroin legalisation and Brian Paddick, who commands the Lambeth Division, rocked the boat a bit saying that he wouldn’t regard chasing ‘weekend drugs-users’ as a sensible use of his officers’ time.
Steve Byers gave the go-ahead to Heathrow terminal five this afternoon. His only nod in the direction of banning the 16 night flights was a promise of more research. I’m afraid I got quite shirty with him. We’ve got research coming out of our ears. What’s needed is a decision. This was a golden opportunity to put some limits on the endless demands of the aviation industry and he’s funked it.
Wednesday, 21 November
Lunch with Ann Taylor in the Millbank Room. She is still smarting after losing her place in the Cabinet. It came as a total surprise and was contrary to assurances she claimed to have been given personally, by The Highest Level, shortly before the election. So, Ann is one of the growing band – Derek Foster is another – to whom promises were made and not kept. The Man’s word is not his bond. He says whatever is required to meet the needs of the hour, relying on his undoubted charm to get him through when rumbled.
According to Ann, I made a mistake opting out of government.
‘If you had hung on for another year, Jack might have taken you at the Foreign Office.’
She also revealed that The Man offered JP a chance to drop the air traffic privatisation just before the Transport Bill was tabled. JP had turned it down, unwilling to renege on his deal with Gordon. Now there’s a man whose word is his bond.
Later, we had the first day of the committee stage of the Anti-Terrorism Bill. The speed with which it is being rushed through is disgraceful and everyone was up in arms. One of the most controversial clauses, enabling the government to implement, on an affirmative order, anything – whether or not it has to do with terrorism – agreed by the Justice and Home Affairs council of the EC was voted through without debate.
Everything went according to plan with my amendments, although there was very nearly a disaster. I was at the parliamentary committee in the Prime Minister’s room when I saw Blunkett’s name come up on the screen. I rushed into the chamber and just made it in time to hear David announcing that he was accepting changes along the lines of the amendments. Nice to be relevant again.
Thursday, 22 November
Yesterday the Telegraph carried a report from a village in northern Afghanistan which has been bombed
three times since the Taliban fled, killing 11 people, mainly women and children. On the roof of the school, terrified villagers have written in English in letters ten feet high, ‘THIS IS A SCHOOL’. ‘Please tell the Americans they are bombing their allies,’ pleaded the local mullah.
Yet another example of Geoff Hoon’s ‘astonishingly well-targeted bombing’. I sent him the cutting with a handwritten note asking for an explanation. Pointless really. He has no more influence over the Americans than I do, but at least he could have the decency to stop boasting about the accuracy of the bombing.
Friday, 23 November
Brian Paddick is in trouble for his remarks about drugs in evidence to the select committee on Tuesday. His bosses at Scotland Yard have issued a rebuke which has been plastered all over the media. I rang to ask if I could be of any help. We agreed that I should send the Commissioner, John Stevens, a letter pointing out that Paddick had made clear that the views expressed were his own, that he had been responding to our questions and saying that we don’t expect our witnesses to be leaned upon.
Wednesday, 28 November
Gordon Brown addressed the parliamentary party in the wake of yesterday’s pre-Budget statement. It was Gordon at his best. Ringing all the right bells. Credible, radical, staking out a little piece of territory to the left of centre against the day when the throne is vacant. Beneath it all, however, lurks the same old Gordon who still bites his nails; the same mirthless smile, switching on and off like a neon sign.
Sunday, 2 December
Sunderland
A cold, damp, clear day. To Wallington, where we picnicked on a fallen beech tree by the China Pond. Walked along the path by the river Wansbeck and back through the woods to the west lakes. A world entirely free of litter, dog shit or junk architecture. Paradise.
Wednesday, 5 December
Robin Cook addressed the parliamentary party on his plans for reform or, as he put it, making Parliament look as though it belongs to the same century as the one in which our constituents live. Most of the neanderthals were either absent or keeping their heads below the parapet so he was received with enthusiasm. Later, at the parliamentary committee, as Robin had requested of me, I raised his plans for a shake-up, saying there had been a lot of support for it at this morning’s meeting. The Man merely smiled benignly, as if to say ‘Did Robin put you up to that?’
‘You take a lot of notes,’ Gordon Prentice remarked afterwards.
Tuesday, 11 December
Ran into Tony Benn who said, ‘I was looking for you earlier – I had Saffron Burrows to lunch and I wanted to introduce you.’ Damn.
Wednesday, 12 December
Parliamentary committee: Ann Clwyd kicked off calling for an inquiry into the treatment of prisoners captured at Kunduz by our friends in the Northern Alliance, at least 40 of whom are reported to have suffocated after being locked in containers for three days. I added that these were war crimes and we risked discrediting the whole enterprise. The Man replied that there was little chance of an inquiry, but that some very strong messages had been sent and we were ‘putting in people alongside the Northern Alliance’.
‘What’s our bottom line?’ I asked, apropos suggestions that the Americans were about to turn their attention to Iraq or Somalia. ‘What is it that we will not sign up to?’ The Man, calm as ever, replied that we wouldn’t sign up to anything with which we disagreed. ‘I can honestly say that there is not a single issue in Afghanistan that we have not been consulted about.’ As far as Iraq and Somalia are concerned, no decisions had yet been taken.
Thursday, 13 December
An amusing little cameo at Business Questions in the House when Eric Forth invited us to celebrate Margaret Thatcher’s golden wedding anniversary. At once the po-faced, pinstriped men on the Tory benches started hear-hearing and waving their order papers. Even now, ten years on, the very mention of her name drives them wild. They genuinely regard her reign as a golden age. As long as the illusion persists, we are safe. Kevin Hughes brought us all down to earth saying that his sympathies were with Denis on the grounds that ‘anyone married to Lady Thatcher for 50 years deserves a medal as big as a dustbin lid’. Whereupon the Tory benches again erupted, this time with howls of outrage. All save a handful of traitors, discreetly covering smiles with their hands.
Monday, 17 December
To Committee Room 8 to hear Home Secretary Blunkett outline his priorities for this Parliament. Lots of warm, New Labourish words – enabling, citizenship, cohesion, building communities. Quite what it all means remains to be seen. On the Home Office, he was outspoken: ‘It is one of the least efficient, least competent, least connected-to-the world-outside organisations that I’ve ever seen. What we have achieved so far has been in spite, rather than because of …’
Later, a chat with Jean Corston, who says she has been pressing The Man to deal with hunting once and for all. When she last raised the subject, he started going on about the problem in the Lords, to which Jean responded by asking why hunting was the only issue on which we were not able to take on the Lords. If that’s true, she said, we’d better get the Leader of the Lords and our Chief Whip to come and explain to the parliamentary party why nothing can be done. Whereupon The Man changed tack and said that a ban would be unenforceable. In which case, said Jean, he had better come and explain that. One way or another, the issue had to be confronted.
Tuesday, 18 December
A call from the Home Secretary to say that the first arrests under Part IV of the Anti-Terrorism Act will take place tomorrow. He says the security service offered him more than 20 names and he whittled it down to 14 (‘because the others didn’t stand up’). Of those one has already left the country and several others could be charged with other offences, so that left ten. David added that he didn’t expect many more. ‘Maybe four or five in the New Year. I’m so tired I can hardly stand up,’ he said.
To a Christmas party at DFID’s swish new offices opposite Buckingham Palace. Hilary Benn gave me a tour of the ministerial floor, including his office, which would have been mine had I stayed. I felt a twinge of regret, but it lasted no more than a second or two. Sir Two Buzzes is off to be Governor of Bermuda in February. We had a pleasant chat and he invited me to look him up should I ever find myself fact-finding in the Caribbean, which is not very likely.
Wednesday, 19 December
To Committee Room 14 for the meeting of the parliamentary party. The Leader of the Lords, Gareth Williams, was the only other person there when I arrived so I took the opportunity to put in a bad word for Derry Irvine’s proposed reforms: ‘Electing only 20 per cent is not saleable.’
‘Derry’s going to explain it all,’ replied Gareth cheerfully. Gareth is always cheerful. He went on, ‘An all-elected chamber would be a disaster. There are 700 of us. If they were all elected, they’d want increased power.’
‘Can’t we phase them out?’
‘The trouble is they don’t die fast enough – only 17 or 18 a year.’
‘How about a retirement age?’
‘I wanted 75, which some said was too young. The difficulty, which can’t be spoken aloud, is that many peers depend on the allowances to survive. They’ve given up jobs and pensions. The allowances are their only income.’
‘So it’s true then, the Lords is just sheltered accommodation for the elderly.’
At which the familiar twinkle appeared in Gareth’s eye: ‘I just put this to you neutrally – which House performed better over the Terrorism Bill?’
As ever, The Man was sitting surrounded by whisky bottles when we filed into his room. As fast as he was signing, staff were taking them away. Someone, probably Jean, has whispered to him that we prefer to have his full attention and so he was trying to get them out of the way before we started. (Helen said that one was auctioned for £200 in Sheffield last week, so all this signing obviously spreads happiness.) He was wearing specs and saying that it is only a question of time before he had to use them in the House. ‘I can�
��t see a thing,’ he said. ‘Did you see the struggle I had today reading that quote?’ Jean offered hers, he tried them on and looked around. ‘I see you all in an entirely different light,’ he said to much merriment.
We started with Afghanistan. Someone asked about our contribution to the peace-keeping force. The Man replied that it was nonsense to talk about overstretch. We would be sending about a thousand troops for a maximum of three or four months and then someone else would take over. ‘We were told by the so-called experts that only Muslim troops would do, but the truth is that most Afghans don’t care. We could never get the Pashtuns into government without a multinational force. They are terrified of the Northern Alliance.’
Gordon Prentice raised faith schools. ‘I haven’t met anyone who is signed up to our policy.’
‘We are between a rock and a hard place,’ said The Man. ‘Better to have Muslim schools which are properly inspected and regulated than leaving education to the imams and the mosques.’
Someone asked about the plan to sell an expensive, overly sophisticated air traffic control system to the Tanzanians to which The Man replied lamely that there were rules that must be followed. He added, ‘We must be careful about getting into a position where we are telling the Tanzanians what’s good for them.’
Someone mentioned by name one of our recently appointed peers. ‘How did he get into the Lords?’
The Man came over all innocent, as if to say, ‘Don’t look at me.’
Helen Jackson said, ‘Everyone knows he’s a crook.’
The Man affected shock, raising his eyes to the ceiling, making a little joke about concealed microphones and the subject was swiftly dropped.
