by Chris Mullin
* In the summer of 1997 Clare Short became embroiled in a row with leaders of the Caribbean island of Montserrat who were demanding more British aid following a devastating series of volcanic eruptions which rendered much of the island uninhabitable; she memorably remarked, ‘They will be wanting golden elephants next.’
* In 1991 Tory ministers were said to have authorised the use of overseas aid funds to help build a dam in Malaysia on the understanding that the Malaysian government would purchase arms from the UK.
* Staff at reception in DFID have a buzzer to alert officials on the ministerial floor that one of the ministers or the Permanent Secretary is on the way up. One buzz denotes the Secretary of State, two the Permanent Secretary and three for the humble Under-Secretary.
CHAPTER FOUR
2002
Monday, 7 January 2002
Sarah and Gordon Brown’s baby has died. The Man was visibly moved when the news reached him. He was pictured on the evening bulletins at Bagram airport, Afghanistan, apparently close to tears, making a lengthy statement of condolence. The new Afghan leader, Hamid Karzai, was hovering alongside looking bemused. Meanwhile US bombing is becoming increasingly casual. Another huge disaster is reported from Qalaye Niazi in eastern Afghanistan in which up to 100 people, mainly women and children, have been blown to pieces. Such mistakes are becoming so commonplace that they are barely reported.
I wonder if The Man, so moved by the death of one small child, has even raised the subject in his many talks with his friend George Bush. He sent me a letter the other day after I broached the subject at the parliamentary committee, full of the usual platitudes – ‘every care taken’ etc. It’s all crap. The only casualties that interest the Americans are their own.
Wednesday, 9 January
To the meeting of the parliamentary party to hear Derry Irvine bravely attempt to sell his master plan for House of Lords reform. It was, he said, a compromise for today not a solution for all time. There is, he asserted, no scope for electing more than 120 peers. ‘It would be an historic mistake if we allowed a largely elected Lords to take preeminence over the Commons.’ To begin with he was heard respectfully, but it rapidly became clear that there was scarcely a person present who agreed with the official line – including Robin Cook, whose job it is to sell it in the Commons. (I noticed Robin screwing up his face as Derry listed him as one of those on his Cabinet subcommittee who were signed up to the official line.) There then followed a good-natured debate in which just about every one of the 20 or so contributors favoured a different solution.
By the time Derry rose to reply, the natives were restless. He attempted to curry favour with a little joke, ‘Well, I certainly enjoyed that – the best morning I’ve had for a long time …’ ‘You should come more often,’ someone called.
‘The alternative to doing something is to do nothing,’ blurted Derry.
‘No it isn’t.’
‘Be serious,’ heckled someone else. By now there was general merriment at Derry’s obvious discomfort.
In the end Gareth Williams saved the day. Without conceding anything he treated us all to a calm, reasoned, brilliant little homily which was heard in respectful silence, save for laughter at his dry asides. ‘This is,’ he concluded, ‘a necessary compromise. The great prize which we are trying to deliver is that the remaining 92 hereditaries will go and 120 elected members will take their place.’
He sat down to prolonged applause, even though his message was essentially the same as Derry’s. The contrast between their performances couldn’t have been more marked. No prizes for guessing the identity of the next Lord Chancellor.
Thursday, 10 January
Geoff Hoon made a statement about our contribution to the Afghan task force. He was at pains to emphasise that our soldiers would be confined to Kabul and its environs and that after three months another country (probably Turkey) would take the lead, which is not very reassuring. Where are the Germans, the French, the Australians? Let alone the Americans, who seem to be losing interest by the day except that they are still randomly bombing anyone who looks like a Taliban. In the north and east of the country mayhem reigns and in the interior people are said to be eating grass. I asked if our troops would be lending a hand with the distribution of aid, but Geoff said blandly that they wouldn’t. Meanwhile all the second-rate army officers on the Tory benches were bobbing up and down complaining about overstretch and demanding assurances that we will abandon the Afghans to their fate at the earliest opportunity.
Tuesday, 15 January
To the Wilson Room in Portcullis House to hear Jack Straw, who had just come from talking to Colin Powell about America’s treatment of the Taliban prisoners. ‘I told Powell, “This isn’t doing America any good.” He understands.’
Afterwards I remarked to Jack that, although political realities dictated that we had to be nice to him we should never lose sight of the fact that George Bush and the Republican Party represented – I was going to say, ‘some of the meanest, greediest, most selfish people on the planet,’ but Jack finished the sentence for me: ‘… a bunch of bastards.’ He added, ‘Colin Powell is a decent man. He could just as easily have been a Democrat.’
Wednesday, 16 January
To the meeting of the parliamentary party to hear The Man give his start of term address. Confident, lucid, not a note in sight and no sign that he is flagging. On the contrary, he appears to know exactly where he is going even if many of the rest of us have doubts. He ended with a reference to ‘an historic third term’. There can be no doubt that he intends to take us there.
Dennis Skinner brought us all back down to earth. ‘It would be wonderful, Tony, if a few words from you could resolve everything.
But out there in the party these fine words are not going down too well.’ Some crises, said Dennis, are too big to handle. The party had got lost along the way. One would have thought that with all these good things happening, we’d have no problem signing up new members, but in fact we were hardly recruiting at all. ‘The party needs revitalising. We need reassurance from the Secretary of State for Health as to which way we are travelling. You need to send out ministers, not to meet managers but to get out and meet the party.’
The Man was unapologetic. ‘I want to issue a warning, too. Believe me, the problem we face at the election will not be that we have reformed too much, but too little. If we don’t reform, then the dismantlers will take over. I promise you we are right. Reform is always opposed. Our changes on literacy and numeracy were opposed.’ (‘By the same people,’ murmured John Reid.) ‘The whole purpose of our NHS reforms is to push power down. Those who are doing well will have a less heavy hand from the centre.’ He concluded with three points: First, we are employing more people in the public sector than ever before. Second, we are the only government in recent years to have increased education and health spending. Third, public sector pay increases had recently exceeded those in the private sector.
He sat down to much clapping and desk thumping, but it can’t conceal the deep unease. There is a feeling that we are losing our way.
Outside I ran into Ken Purchase, who had steam coming out of his ears. ‘He’s wrong,’ said Ken. ‘He doesn’t believe in a National Health Service or a national anything else. He believes in atomised services … Look at the mess we’re in with the railways. There’s no magic about private sector management.’
Thursday, 17 January
To Eland House with Lynne Jones and Dale Campbell Savours, to bend the ear of Charlie Falconer about the High Hedges Bill, which has run aground. An odd feeling, to be issued with a visitors’ pass, escorted up to the ministerial floor and told to sit in the ministerial waiting room to await the ministerial pleasure, in a building where I once came and went as I pleased and where delegations awaited my pleasure. A handful of familiar faces – the tea ladies, the receptionists and Frank the cheerful Indian who so efficiently processes the ministerial mail. My old office, sans pictures and pot plants, i
s now just another meeting room. The private office where my industrious officials – Chris, Shayne, Nicky and Kerry – once laboured is now dark and empty. Desks once piled with orange case files are clear. Not a scrap of paper in sight. Not the slightest sign that I ever set foot there. As for Keith Hill, his office has been physically eliminated. That is to say the walls have been unbolted and taken away. The space he once occupied is now part of what is known as the Corporate Management Section.
Some things, though, never change. Here we are again, sitting around a table in what was once Hilary Armstrong’s office, discussing how to temper the remorseless advance into suburbia of the dreaded Cupressocyparis leylandii. Naively, when I came to the Department in July 1999, I believed that this was one of the few issues in which I might make a difference. Yet here we are, nearly three years on, and precisely nothing has changed. Charlie was affable and constructive, but pessimistic about persuading our lords and masters, whose minds are relentlessly focused on The Big Picture, to make room for a measure so trifling. Nevertheless, he promised to do what he could. I am not hopeful.
Jim Sensenbrenner – a big, pallid, jet-lagged US Congressman who looks as if he has spent too long on aeroplanes and in smoke-filled rooms – came in to discuss terrorism. He is chairman of the House Judiciary Committee that played a part in constructing the draconian American anti-terror laws which provide for secret military tribunals and firing squads. The purpose, he said, was to avoid a replay of the OJ Simpson trial, where proceedings were televised and dragged out endlessly by publicity-seeking lawyers. I asked whether the United States, having invested so much in destroying Afghanistan, would be playing a big part in the reconstruction. ‘It could be argued,’ he said, ‘that we’ve done our share.’ He said Bush would have to pull out all the stops to get a big aid package through Congress and, with midterm elections approaching, he might not want to do that. ‘It’s hard to justify to your constituents in Wisconsin the need to build a bridge in Kabul when they want one at home.’
Which only goes to show that one can never be too cynical.
Sunday, 20 January
Sunderland
With Sarah and two of her friends to see Lord of the Rings at the Boldon multiplex. A sign on the wall said, ‘Born to shop? Visit the store.’ Which they did, of course, immediately on arrival. How can I convince my children that spending money does not bring happiness when everything and everyone around them seems intent on proving the opposite?
Monday, 28 January
The Man is quoted in today’s papers as saying that if we haven’t sorted out the NHS by the election we must suffer the consequences. Unwise words that will come back to haunt us since, in the current climate, however great an effort we make, no one is ever going to acknowledge the slightest improvement. Steve Byers recently said something similar in relation to the railways and at various times in the past Prescott and Blunkett have made similar statements. Is it wise to create such hostages to fortune?
A brief chat with Steve Byers in the Tea Room. I remarked how calm he seems, however rough the going gets. ‘The trouble is,’ he smiled, ‘I don’t take it very seriously.’ Even as he spoke, however, a nerve in his cheek twitched and his hands fidgeted, which I haven’t noticed before.
Wednesday, 30 January
David Blunkett addressed the parliamentary party. Once again, he was very rude about the Home Office: ‘A nineteenth-century department with enormous status and self-importance, but not really engaged.’
Afterwards, there was a brief discussion on immigration, prompted by the Keighley MP, Ann Cryer, who said that arranged marriages were increasingly being used as a way around the immigration laws. She was backed up by Alice Mahon, who said she was having to deal with women fleeing forced marriages at the rate of about one a month.
Some imported spouses were walking out within days of arrival. She added, ‘People shouldn’t be allowed to hide behind religion or culture any more. This is about human rights.’ Gordon Prentice talked about the near invisibility of Asian women. Ashok Kumar said, ‘I support equal rights against cultural values.’ Interesting that people on the left are slowly waking up to the gross abuses perpetuated in the name of multiculturalism. Until now we’ve turned a blind eye, for fear of being labelled racists.
Mike O’Brien asked me up to his room. ‘I’m going to tell you the biggest secret in Whitehall,’ he said. ‘The Prime Minister has reopened the Hinduja inquiry. The press would have a field day if they found out.’ Mike is worried that some way will be found of getting Peter Mandelson off the hook and dumping on him. He wanted my advice.
My guess is that Peter has been badgering The Man to reinstate him on the basis of new ‘evidence’ and that, rather than say no straight out, The Man has agreed to sound out Sir Anthony Hammond, even though he knows it doesn’t amount to more than a row of beans.
My advice was do nothing and await events.
Thursday, 31 January
Bad news. Federal Mogul, which makes piston rings for petrol engines, is to close its Sunderland factory with a loss of 400 jobs. It is merely the latest episode in the progressive collapse of our manufacturing base which has continued unabated under Labour. The sad truth is that neither MPs, local authorities nor government have the slightest influence on decisions taken thousands of miles away. We are all at the mercy of forces beyond our control.
Ann Clwyd and several colleagues had a meeting with the new Afghan leader, Hamid Karzai, this afternoon. She said everyone was very polite and respectful until the end when she said to him, ‘I wouldn’t want you to leave here thinking that everyone agrees with you about the status of the prisoners. It’s not for you or George Bush to decide. It’s a matter for an independent tribunal.’ She says that in the corridor outside he gripped her arm hard and whispered, ‘You’re quite right. Keep it up.’ The poor man is totally a prisoner of the Americans. One word out of place and they will lose interest in him.
At lunch in the cafeteria I asked David Davis what the Tories are planning for the health service. ‘A mixed economy,’ he replied. The State would continue to fund medical treatment, but the customer would be given a choice of where to obtain it. He added that the present monolithic, bureaucratic health service was hopelessly inefficient – ‘Our hospitals are killing 60,000 people a year,’ he said cheerfully.
Where does he get that extraordinary figure? From the Public Accounts Committee, he says.
Monday, 4 February
A big row is brewing over The Man’s speech in Cardiff yesterday in which he appeared to accuse those of not supporting his public services reforms of being ‘wreckers’.
‘Does Our Great Leader’s use of the word “wreckers” help or hinder your argument with health service workers?’ I asked Alan Milburn in the Tea Room this evening. He replied, ‘The strategy is to isolate John Edmonds “who has been a complete bastard”. Unfortunately, this has pushed all the unions into the same camp. But,’ he added, ‘we’ll get them out.’ Let’s hope Alan is right.
Wednesday, 6 February
To the meeting of the parliamentary party to hear Jack Straw. ‘The end of the Cold War has enabled us to adopt a distinctive foreign policy,’ he asserted. By way of example, he mentioned Sierra Leone and Kosovo although, as several people pointed out, our long tradition of humiliating subservience to the United States remains undiminished.
Alice Mahon asked about Star Wars (an early test of our alleged distinctiveness) to which Jack replied, ‘I’m happy to have a debate, Alice, as long as your mind is not made up beforehand.’ It sounds, however, as though Jack’s is. On Afghanistan, Jack said we are ‘actively considering’ Hamid Karzai’s request to extend the peacekeeping force to other cities. Good news, if true. Until now we have been dead against mission creep.
Thursday, 7 February
An historic day: without help from anyone, I managed to e-mail my column to the Echo. Until now I have had to throw myself upon the mercy of one of the Commons Library staff.
Friday, 8 February
Sunderland
To Federal Mogul to discuss the impending closure. As if that wasn’t depressing enough I returned to the office to find a message from Ian Dewhirst to say that he is to close his ladies’ wear factory in Leechmere Road. Another 350 jobs down the swanny. At this rate there won’t be a single manufacturing job left in Sunderland by the time we leave office. I rang Mr Dewhirst. Needless to say he is as powerless as I am. Wages in Turkey and North Africa, he says, are a fifth of those in England. Marks & Spencer, his main customer, is increasingly sourcing from abroad. What else can he do? He adds, ‘The sad thing is that these skills, once lost, will never come back.’
I opened tonight’s Echo to find, emblazoned across an inside page, the headline: ‘MULLIN: PAY REJECT ASYLUM SEEKERS’. Oh Christ, that’s all I need. The Echo’s eager young Lobby correspondent has managed to make a huge mountain out of my modest suggestion to
David Blunkett yesterday that asylum seekers with children, who would otherwise be destitute, be given a small resettlement allowance to help them re-establish themselves in their country of origin.
The following letter appears in the same edition:
I wonder if, like myself, your readers are bemused as to why Chris Mullin ever chose to become an MP for Sunderland. His column never misses an opportunity to berate some section of our community. In June it was the voters of Pennywell for exercising their democratic right not to vote. In September he upset some members of the Jewish community for his wholly inaccurate analysis of the events that led to the September 11 tragedy. This week it is the parents and children of Sunderland for lacking educational ambition, compared to their Afghani counterparts. He seems blissfully unaware that the average debt of a medical student in the UK is £13,000 – wasn’t it his sanctimonious attitude in the last Parliament that voted to introduce tuition fees? If this rate of attrition against his traditional support continues, there won’t be a Labour voter left in Sunderland South at the next election. No doubt he will then carpet bag a seat somewhere else at the next election, preferably Kandahar Central.
