The Color of Summer

by Anna Martin

  “Okay. Consent is good. Understood.”

  Tyler looked very, very serious. “What if… what if you don’t move back to your apartment once I’m healed up? What if you just… stay here.”

  “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

  “I guess I am.”

  Max’s heart was beating far harder than normal. He pressed his lips together, not wanting to say no, not wanting to upset Tyler either.

  “I….”

  “That’s a no, then,” Tyler said with a sad sort of smile.

  “That wasn’t a no, asshole. Let me finish.”

  “Anything other than an enthusiastic yes is not consent.”

  Max leaned up to kiss him, just gently at first, then sinking more into Tyler’s warm body.

  “Humor me for a moment?” Max asked.

  “Okay.”

  Max wrapped his arms around Tyler’s neck, careful of his bandages.

  “Devil’s advocate. We’ve only been dating for a few months.”

  “Right.”

  “And we’re only sort of out to your family. You’re not out at work.”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  “This is fast.”

  “I agree. But… but Max, you’re already here. And it feels great. I love having you around all the time. It doesn’t feel like you’re carving out your place in our family; it’s like you’ve always been here. I don’t want you to go.”

  Max considered that. “I was just thinking this morning how much I like it here.”

  “So stay. We don’t need to make an announcement or anything. Just stay.”

  Max kissed him again. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Yeah. I’m not promising forever. But let’s just see how it works out.”

  THEY MANAGED to stop making out long enough to get out to the car and over to the movie theater, where they just picked up making out again in the back row while some crazy crash-bang action movie played out on the screen.

  One of the things Max had been most worried about was how Tyler would recover mentally from the ordeal in the convenience store. He was a strong man, not just physically, but emotionally too. He had to be, raising a kid on his own.

  Max had taken Tyler to the first appointment with the counselor the sheriff’s department had assigned him, and waited in the car while Tyler had the appointment. He came out much the same as he went in—weary, but okay.

  Doing stupid stuff like going to the movies and spending ninety minutes making out was good for them both. It felt painfully normal.

  They skipped lunch, too full of popcorn and candy to want to eat more, and headed over to the elementary school in time to be early to collect June. In the back of his head, Max knew he had work to do, clients who he needed to be prepared for later in the week. He wasn’t prepared right now, and that was bugging him. However much he wanted to keep an eye on Tyler twenty-four seven, that just wasn’t practical if he was going to keep his business alive at the same time.

  After dropping Tyler and June at home, Max swung by his mom’s house. Mostly because he hadn’t seen her in a few days and because he wanted to update her on, well, everything.

  “Mom,” Max yelled when he let himself into the house.

  “In the kitchen,” she called back.

  Max wandered through, following his nose and the familiar smell of her apple cake.

  “It just came out of the oven. If you eat it now, you’ll get a stomachache,” she warned him.

  “That’s okay. Now I have an excuse to hang out.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek, then nudged her out of the way and took over washing the dishes she’d used to make the cake.

  “Do you want coffee or anything?”

  “Nah, I’m good. Thanks.”

  “Okay.”

  She leaned against one of the counters and looked at Max fondly. “Not that I mind you dropping by totally unannounced….”

  “Can I not come and see how my mom is?”

  “Of course you can. I actually love it that you stop by whenever you like.”

  “Me too. How was your meeting with Dr. Langford? Sorry I missed it.”

  “Don’t be,” she said, taking the clean dishes and wiping them before setting them in the right cupboards. “It went really well. Dr. Langford is pleased with everything. She says I’m making great progress.”

  “You are.”

  “I have one more month left of physical therapy. Then they’ll set me free. I’ll have regular checkups with Dr. Langford for another year or two, though, just so they can make sure I don’t relapse. How are things with you?”

  “Good. I actually have news.” Max finished the dishes and pulled the plug.

  She laughed. “I knew it. Go on.”

  “So now I think about it, this seems like a lot.” Max set the last pan on the draining board to dry and wiped his hands on a dish towel. “I’m dating Tyler.”

  “Tyler Reed?”

  “Do we know any other Tylers?” Max said with a laugh. “Yeah. Tyler Reed. And, uh, I’m going to move in with him.”

  His mom dropped her arms to her sides, her expression slowly turning shocked. Or upset. Max wasn’t sure which.

  “You’re going to do what?”

  “Well, I’ve been staying with him the past few days, since he got out of the hospital. You knew I was helping with June.”

  “Angela mentioned that you had picked her up from school a few times. But, Max, I didn’t know….”

  “You don’t seem very happy.” Max tried not to sound accusing.

  “Oh, Max,” she sighed. “You never do anything by halves, do you?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’m just worried about you. This is a lot. You only got back a few months ago. Then suddenly you’re dating Shaun’s older brother and wanting to move in with him and his daughter?”

  “I know it seems all of a sudden to you, but it’s been building between us for a while. I like him a lot, Mom. He’s a good person.”

  “I like Tyler too. That’s not the issue here. I’m worried that you’re trying to rush into something in order to… I don’t know… validate your decision to move back to Sweetwater? I know it’s not as exciting as Pittsburgh and you don’t know as many people here.”

  “I know people,” Max protested, but it sounded weak even to his own ears.

  She sighed. “Wouldn’t it be better to make more friends, get a bigger social circle? Open yourself up a bit more. I understand that it’s tempting to throw yourself into a relationship with someone when you don’t have other options.”

  Max chewed his lip as he considered her words.

  “Max,” his mom said, forcing him to look at her again. “Do you love him?”

  “I… I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “Then please be careful. Oh, sweetheart, be careful. I made the mistake of getting involved with the wrong person when I was just a little younger than you and regretted it for a long time after.”

  “This isn’t like you and my dad,” Max said angrily. They didn’t talk about him often, if at all. “If anything, this is like you and John.”

  “Max, I was friends with John for almost five years before he even asked me out. We dated for another two years before he proposed, and waited another year until we got married. Eight years, Max, between meeting him and him moving in. You’re doing the same thing in a matter of weeks.”

  Max sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “You’re probably right. Jesus. I don’t know what to do, Mom.”

  He felt, rather than watched, her walk over and pull him into a hug.

  “I would never tell you what to do, or what not to do with your life.”

  “I know. You’re just giving me some perspective.”

  “Trying to,” she said with a laugh, ruffling his hair. “There’s a little girl to think about in all of this too. I think Juniper’s just wonderful. But what if it doesn’t work out, Max? You wouldn’t just be walking away from a boyf
riend; you’d be leaving her behind too.”

  “I adore her, Mom.”

  “I don’t blame you. So be careful. With your heart, with Tyler’s, and with hers too.”

  “It’s going to hurt him if I change my mind now.”

  She shook her head. “It’s better to deal with a little hurt now than a big hurt later. No one’s saying you can’t still date him. I actually think it’s wonderful that you’re dating.”

  “I really want some cake now.”

  “You can have some cake, darlin’.” She kissed his head.

  MAX TOOK a couple of slices back for Tyler and June, stopping in at an Italian restaurant to pick up dinner for them all. He wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to bring up the subject with Tyler again, not since he’d only just agreed to move in. His mom was right. The timing was terrible. Tyler was too vulnerable, and Max valued his independence too much to throw himself into their relationship like this. The whole situation had “disaster” written all over it.

  He got the impression Tyler knew something was up. They made it through the evening doing all the normal things in a normal order, but Max couldn’t quite escape his own head and the thoughts that were swirling through it.

  Max helped June get ready for bed, then helped Tyler get upstairs so he could read her a bedtime story. Max hadn’t brought a lot of his own things over yet, and he didn’t want to be so dramatic as to pack a bag, so he just picked up his Kindle and set it near his car keys by the door.

  At least he could make an easy exit.

  “What’s wrong?” Tyler asked when he got back downstairs.

  Max had noticed that he was moving a little easier already, not wincing with every movement. He was pleased. Tyler had an appointment with a physical therapist for a few weeks’ time so he could start building up the muscle strength in his shoulder again.

  “I’m sorry,” Max said immediately. Then regretted it. Now it sounded like he had something to be sorry for.

  “Max, are you okay?”

  Tyler sat down next to him and took Max’s hand in his good hand.

  “No,” he admitted. “Not really.”

  “You can talk to me,” Tyler said softly. “I know I’m not much company right now, but you can still talk to me.”

  Great. Now Max felt even worse. “I don’t think I should move in,” he said in a rush. “I think it’s too soon.”

  “What did your mom say to you?”

  Well, Tyler was perceptive. It probably came with his job.

  “She just reminded me of a few things. Not in a bad way. I don’t want us to break up, Tyler. I really like what we have going on. But it’s a lot.”

  Tyler nodded. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push you into something you weren’t ready for.”

  Max’s stomach clenched with guilt. “You didn’t push me. Honestly. I have my own issues to deal with. I think we can still make this work, just doing things one step at a time. Rather than all at once.”

  “Okay.”

  Tyler brought their joined hands up to his lips to kiss Max’s thumb.

  “I’ll help you get to bed tonight, but I’m going to go back to the apartment and sleep there. Hopefully get some perspective. And I’ll be back in time to help you in the morning.”

  “There’s plenty of people around who can help, Max. If you need to get away for a couple of days, then I don’t mind. We can do that.”

  Max chewed on his bottom lip. “Let me think about it?”

  Tyler nodded. “Sure.”

  “I really feel awful.”

  “Max, this is your life too. Your relationship too. You get a say in what happens.”

  “I don’t feel like I deserve you being so understanding.”

  “Why don’t you go now? I can get to bed tonight.”

  Max recognized that he was being dismissed. It hurt, but he was okay with it.

  “Okay,” he said in a small voice.

  Driving away felt heartbreaking in a way Max didn’t like one bit. Dusk had fallen, but true darkness was still an hour or so away. He took the long route back to the apartment, wondering if he was just making one mistake after another.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  TYLER WOKE the next morning with everything aching—his arm, his stomach, his heart. He hadn’t slept well, and the painkillers were giving him stomach cramps. The nurse had warned him about the potential side effects, so he wasn’t worried too much.

  When he was all the way awake, Tyler sat up and rolled himself to the edge of the bed. He could feel his strength starting to return, little by little. Thank God.

  He could get to the bathroom on his own and take care of most of his morning routine. There was no avoiding his tired eyes in the mirror or the stubble on his chin that was flecked with gray.

  Very carefully, Tyler peeled back the wrapping on his shoulder to check the stitches. Most of the swelling had gone down, and the wound was clean. He needed to start leaving the bandages off now, leaving it open to the air to dry out. The actual scar was pretty small, and Tyler thought it crazy how such a little thing could cause him such a massive ache.

  He could hear Max and June downstairs, getting ready for school, and thought about hiding out up here until they left for the day. But that was the coward’s way out, and Tyler had never been a coward.

  He pulled on jeans and a button-down shirt and made his way downstairs.

  “Morning,” he said, trying to sound cheerful for June.

  She was eating cereal with blueberries and sliced strawberries on top. That was new. Max was eating the same from another bowl, and Tyler guessed there was some reciprocal arrangement going on.

  “That looks nice,” he said, taking a seat on the breakfast bar next to June.

  “It is,” she said.

  “There’s plenty more if you’d like some.”

  Tyler chanced a look over at Max. He looked tired too.

  “Thanks,” Tyler said softly.

  “Are you okay, Daddy?”

  Well, crap. He was hoping to hide his melancholy from June.

  “Just a bit tired, sweetheart,” he said. “I didn’t sleep so well.”

  “Oh. How is your shoulder?”

  “Much better,” he told her. “I get to go see the doctor later and see if the stitches are ready to come out.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  Max set a bowl of cereal topped with fruit in front of Tyler. After a moment, he leaned in and kissed Tyler on the cheek.

  “Mornin’,” he said softly.

  Maybe they were going to be okay.

  MAX HAD work to do that morning, and Tyler really needed to get out of the house, so he grabbed a book and went to the café to read and drink coffee in peace. That was the idea, anyway. He hadn’t realized quite how much his injury had impacted the community he served.

  “Deputy Reed,” Kendall said when he walked in. “It’s good to see you.”

  Bella looked up from the kitchen out back and squeaked, then rushed out to pull him into a hug. Kendall came around and embraced him from the other side.

  “Hey,” he said with a laugh.

  “How are you feeling?” Kendall asked.

  “Definitely better. I just got the stitches out yesterday. Apparently I’m healing well.”

  “That’s good.”

  Kendall brushed her hand down Bella’s arm before Bella headed back to the kitchen, and Tyler saw what he maybe should have seen a long time ago. They were together. Well, that made sense.

  Kendall made him a coffee and a plate of pastries and refused to take any money from him, so Tyler stuffed a few bills into their tip jar and took his preferred seat at the back of the café.

  He hadn’t really been out of the house much since the day at the convenience store, not enough time to catch up with any of the people he was used to seeing daily. So it was maybe unsurprising that he didn’t exactly have a quiet morning, with folks coming up to ask after him every
few minutes. Tyler didn’t mind. These were his people.

  The book was good, an old favorite, but Tyler couldn’t focus. There was too much running through his head. Max wasn’t the first person who’d accused him of wanting to move too quickly in a relationship. Victoria had too. But Tyler just wasn’t built for casual; he’d accepted that about himself a long time ago.

  The problem was, he seemed to be attracted to people who were beautiful and bright and liked to spread their wings and be free. And while Tyler saw security and monogamy as warm and solid and romantic, he knew that type of person might see the same things as a cage.

  Max was as worldly and independent as Tyler was homely and solid. Even though Max had come back to Sweetwater and built a business here, he had the sort of career that meant he could travel anywhere in the country—hell, anywhere in the world—and do a residency at another tattoo studio. It was the type of career that almost encouraged flightiness and curiosity.

  It was entirely possible Tyler was doing the wrong thing by trying to keep Max in Sweetwater. Small-town Southern living wasn’t for everyone, and Max had been pretty happy with his decision to escape. And while he was back now, would he always want to stay?

  After the past few weeks, Tyler was now sure he’d fallen for Max, and fallen hard. He wouldn’t be able to keep their relationship casual for much longer. It was in his nature to seek out the kind of commitment that seemed to send Max running for the hills, and they were going to have to figure out if there was any comfortable middle ground. Or if it was better for everyone if they just called it quits.

  Max came and found him just before lunchtime.

  “I just got a phone call,” he said, leaning on the table with his chin in his hand. “One of my old colleagues from back in Pittsburgh had to pull out of a tattoo convention and competition in Nashville this weekend. They asked if I could go instead.”

  “Are you going?”

  “I thought we could all go. The three of us.”

  “Oh.” Tyler sat back, surprised. He’d thought for sure Max would use the opportunity to take some time away from Tyler and June and Sweetwater. “I’ll be okay here, if you want to go on your own.”