When You Are Near

by Tracie Peterson

  Jason’s expression sobered, nearly making Wes laugh out loud. Good for Mrs. B.

  “I’d be glad to help,” Mary declared. “And once we figure out what we want each person to know, we can put together a training schedule.”

  “It’s sure good to have you back with us, Mary.” Oliver handed his bowl to his sister-in-law. “Since Teresa up and got married just before the last show, I was starting to fret about who our main shooter was going to be next year.” He looked at Mary. “She was never as good as you, and the audiences were less than impressed. I had so many people asking me where you were and if you were ever returning.”

  “I’m glad to be back.” Mary stretched. “But I have to admit that, at the moment, I’m completely done in. I hope you won’t mind if I go on up to my room for the night. After I help with the cleanup.”

  “Nonsense,” Mrs. Brookstone said. “I don’t need your help tonight. You go ahead and rest.”

  Wes noticed that Adler was whispering something in Lizzy’s ear. Didn’t he realize how rude he was being? Unfortunately, Lizzy didn’t seem to mind.

  “I’ll help you with the dishes.” This came from Ella Fleming. Wesley wasn’t sure what to make of the tiny girl. She was genteel and pretty—like one of those fancy china dolls. He knew from Rupert that she was on the run from her family, but he didn’t really understand why the Brookstones would put themselves in the position of facing an angry Mr. Fleming. Especially when they had done so much business with him.

  Ella and Mrs. Brookstone headed off toward the kitchen, and Mary made her way upstairs.

  “Jason, I want to show you a few things in my office before you retire,” Oliver said, getting to his feet.

  Adler frowned. He didn’t look at all happy about this but said nothing. He stood and looked back at Lizzy, giving her a slight bow. “Shall we try for that ride in the morning?”

  Lizzy shook her head. “I’m afraid not. Mother has several things she wants me to tend to. Maybe later in the day. We’ll have to see how things go.”

  Wesley gripped the arms of his rocker. He didn’t like that man. Didn’t like him at all. Adler was all smoothness and refinement, and while he might be generally trustworthy, Wes didn’t think it wise to turn his back on him.

  “Well, that just leaves us,” Lizzy said, looking at Wes. “Unless you intend to run off and avoid me like usual.”

  He looked at her and saw an expression that dared him to contradict the truth of her statement. “I wasn’t planning on going anywhere. At least not yet.”

  Lizzy got up and went to the fireplace. She put another log on the fire, then turned to face him. Wes couldn’t help but admire her. She had her long brown hair loosely tied back and wore a skirt and blouse. It was simple but perfect. She was beautiful. Of course, he couldn’t tell her that. Their relationship was too strained right now. Then there was all that stuff her mother had talked about. It was best to go slow.

  “I heard you got hurt in Kansas City.” It was the first thing he could think of to say that wasn’t overly personal. He looked for a bruise.

  “I got banged up a bit, but not really hurt. I have a bruise on this side.” She touched her cheek, then walked over to take one of the chairs near him. “How have things been here at the ranch?”

  “Good. We’ve got quite a few animals to take to market yet. Then we’re expecting most of the cows to start dropping calves in January. We have a few older cows we’ll butcher next month. It’ll keep us in meat all winter, along with a couple of hogs your mother arranged for.”

  Lizzy nodded but kept her tone aloof. “Did you see the new mares?”

  “I did. They look good. It’s no wonder they were all your dad could talk about last winter.”

  “Yes.” She looked back at the fire and said nothing more.

  Wes went to stand beside her. She didn’t seem to notice, so he touched her arm. She startled and looked up at him. He felt bad that he’d surprised her. “Sorry.” He paused. “I’m sorry too about your dad. It was the hardest news I’ve had to hear since I lost my ma.”

  Lizzy nodded and got up. She moved closer to the fire and held out her hands. “And Clarissa?”

  He looked down toward the flames, embarrassed that he hadn’t thought to mention her. “Of course. But your pa was special.”

  “Yes, we all miss him.” She turned her back to the heat and shrugged. “But everyone dies sooner or later. My concern is Mother. She’s taken it very hard. Father was her whole world.”

  “Yes, I know. We had supper together last night.”

  “I don’t know how it’s going to be for her, being back here. Father was such a presence. I can almost see him.” Lizzy’s voice softened. “He’s really just everywhere.”

  “I’m sure it’s really hard for you. I know you’ll miss him very much.” Wes studied her face. It was like finely chiseled marble, cold and void of emotion.

  Then Adler cleared his throat. Wes and Lizzy looked toward the sound at the same time.

  “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Adler smiled and fixed his gaze on Wes.

  Lizzy moved away from the fire. “If you’ll both excuse me, I’m going to see if Mother needs any more help, and if not, I’m going to bed.” She left the room, with both men watching her.

  When she was out of sight, Wes looked Adler over from top to bottom while Adler did the same. It was like assessing an obstacle and trying to figure out the best way to deal with it. Wesley didn’t like that Adler would be staying in the house but knew it wasn’t his place to speak against it.

  Wes gave a slight nod. “Evenin’, Mr. Adler.”

  The Englishman returned the gesture. “Good evening, Mr. DeShazer.”

  Wes headed out of the house, barely remembering to grab his hat on the way out the door. He didn’t like Adler’s smug attitude and familiar handling of Lizzy. He didn’t like his plans for remaking the show and figuring out ways to manage it.

  He just didn’t like the man.

  As he neared the bunkhouse and headed for his own cabin, Wes ran headlong into his brother.

  “Whoa there, big brother. You het up for a fight?” Phillip asked, laughing. “You look like someone stole your prized saddle.”

  Wes pushed Phillip aside. “It’s nothing. I’m tired and headin’ for bed.”

  “Hope nothing isn’t still bothering you in the morning.” He stressed the word nothing.

  Wes stopped and turned to face Phillip. He started to give him an earful, then released a heavy sigh. This wasn’t Phillip’s fault. “Good night.”

  fourteen

  For three days, Lizzy did very little. She offered to help around the house, but Cookie’s wife, Irma, took care of most of the household duties and wouldn’t hear of it. Lizzy read a little and went for a couple of rides but unfortunately had to take Jason Adler with her on most of them. Because she didn’t want to ride out alone with him, she asked Mary and Ella to accompany them. She knew that didn’t please Jason, but she’d made her feelings clear, and if he didn’t like it, that was entirely too bad. The rest of the time she spent trying to familiarize Ella with the ranch and house.

  Mother quickly lay claim to Mary and Ella. She taught Ella how to wash clothes and cook, and enticed Mary to bake some of her grandmother’s favorite German recipes. The three women worked well together, and Lizzy found herself unneeded in the kitchen.

  “You need to learn how to run the ranch,” Mother told her more than once. “For all these years you’ve paid it little mind. Now, with your father gone, I need you to help me in this.”

  Lizzy knew it was just an excuse to put her and Wes together, but at the same time, she hoped to make this place her home after retiring from the show. She imagined a good life, just her and Mother—and Uncle Oliver when he was home from the show. It would serve her well to know the details of how the ranch operated. She had a working knowledge of the various duties that were performed throughout the year, but no firsthand experience. What little time she h
ad been in residence, she was always training for the next show. And back then, Father had been alive and Uncle Oliver sober. There had been no need for her to know how the ranch operated.

  Walking around the yard, Lizzy paused to look at the massive log house. It was nothing fancy, but she loved it. She had made so many memories here, and even now, in the early morning, she could hear voices from the past.

  “I think we need a porch,” Mother had said, standing arm in arm with Father.

  “Whatever would we do with a porch?” he’d asked.

  “We could hang a swing from it and then snuggle up on chilly evenings and talk about the future,” Mother had replied.

  But the show had taken up so much time, and the porch was never built. Maybe it could be now. Of course, that would cost money, and Jason would probably think the idea unreasonable. But Lizzy didn’t, and while Jason might have something to say about the show, he didn’t have any authority over the ranch. Maybe she’d talk to Wes about it.

  That only served to remind her of her next duty.

  “So what’s planned for today?” Mary asked, coming to join her. “Another romantic ride?”

  Lizzy grimaced. “No. I’m hoping Jason will be otherwise occupied. Uncle Oliver has taken to bed with a bad cold, but Mother said he still planned to meet with Jason about the show’s schedule for next year. Meanwhile, I have to learn the business of running a ranch.”

  Mary looked at the house and nodded. “I suppose there’s a lot to do before winter, and I suppose too that winter comes much earlier here than in Kansas.”

  “It does,” Lizzy agreed. “I was just remembering how Mother always wanted a porch on the house. I thought maybe I could talk to Wesley about getting one put on. Of course, it might only make her sad.” Lizzy frowned. “She wanted it so she could sit with my father and talk.”

  “Maybe you should ask her.”

  Lizzy considered the long, rectangular home for another moment. There were chimneys at either end of the house, and in back was enough chopped firewood to keep them warm throughout the snowy months to come. It seemed silly to consider a porch when winter was nearly upon them. “Maybe I will,” she murmured.

  “So what else is on today’s agenda besides learning ranch business?” Mary asked.

  Lizzy turned from the house and started across the yard. “I promised Ella a lesson at ten. That’s why I’m wearing my performance skirt.” She ran her hand down the side of the bloused leg. Her split skirts were specially designed to be banded just below the knee where they met the boot. The looseness of the leg gave her a lot of freedom without being roomy enough to cause any entanglements. “But before then, I must speak with Wesley.”

  “So you’ll be thrown yet again into your father’s footsteps, whether you like it or not.”

  “It’s not a matter of not liking it. I just don’t know that I’m qualified. I suppose I already know a good deal about the ranch. At least as far as the cow calendar, as Father used to call it.” She smiled at the memory. “But as for the bookwork and other such details, I know nothing.”

  “And Wesley’s the one you have to work with.”

  Lizzy glanced at Mary, who kept in step with her. “Yes.”

  Ella came from the house and gave them a wave. “Where are you two headed?”

  Lizzy tried to sound less discouraged. “I’m off to see what I must learn to keep this ranch running smoothly.”

  “Who do you see for that?” Ella asked.

  “Wesley.” Lizzy frowned. “Wesley will have all the answers.”

  “Pity that,” Mary teased, then took hold of Lizzy’s arm. “Look, now that he’s a widower, why don’t you make him see how you feel about him?” Her expression was all innocence, yet she knew very well how Lizzy had loved Wes. Ella knew it too, given their conversations on the train.

  “Just so you both know, it doesn’t matter how I felt about Wesley before. Now it’s just business. I don’t plan to marry—ever.” Lizzy buttoned her heavy work jacket as a sharp wind cut across them. She didn’t know if her friends believed her. She wasn’t yet convinced that she believed herself. What she did know was that she never wanted to go through what her mother was going through. If that meant closing off her heart, then she’d just have to find a way.

  “But Clarissa died two years ago,” Mary declared. She looked at Ella. “That was Wes’s wife. She died after getting thrown from her horse. Just like my father . . . well, not exactly. She didn’t break her neck, did she, Lizzy?”

  Ella sucked in her lower lip. She looked like she might break into tears.

  Lizzy knew Ella’s emotions were delicate. No doubt leaving her family for the first time, and under such dire circumstances, weighed on her. “Let’s not talk about such sad things.”

  “We’re all dealing with our griefs,” Mary replied. “They won’t go away simply because we stop talking about them. I would think you’d have learned that by now.”

  “Yes,” Lizzy agreed. “But I must put that from my mind and go learn the affairs of the Brookstone ranch. Sorrow and grief won’t help me in this.” She sighed and pulled up the collar on the coat. “If either of you need me, I’ll be in the bunkhouse office. Mary, you might help Ella better understand about the show. Tell her about our routines and how we’ll all come together in February to train and get everything lined up. Or even teach her how to shoot.”

  “Sure, I’d be happy to.” Mary looked at Ella. “The more you learn, the more comfortable you’ll be. For me, it’s old hat.”

  Lizzy left them as Mary started to explain that she hadn’t normally wintered at the ranch. Walking across the yard to the bunkhouse and barns, Lizzy did her best to stuff her feelings into all the proper places, where they couldn’t get loose and cause her problems. She wanted to talk things out with Wes—wanted to know why he’d made it his job to keep out of sight the last two years—but at the same time she didn’t want him to think she was trying to get too close.

  She glanced across the open pasture as the wind picked up again. There was a taste of snow in the air. The skies were gray, and the wind had turned cold. No doubt they’d soon be facing bad weather.

  “Bad weather and bad memories,” she murmured.

  She stopped about ten feet in front of the bunkhouse and prayed for strength. She had hoped when they returned to the ranch that she’d find she no longer had feelings for Wes. She’d played it all out in her mind. Wes would come into the house for their gathering, and she’d look at him and feel nothing more than brotherly love.

  But that wasn’t how it had been. In fact, when Mother had asked him in for dessert, Lizzy had thought she might be ill. Her stomach did all sorts of quivering maneuvers, and a sort of light-headedness overcame her. She’d carefully positioned herself between Mary and Ella and thought everything would be fine, but then Ella went to retrieve something, and Jason took her spot. From that point forward, Lizzy was keenly aware of both men. Jason, because he wouldn’t stop talking to her, and Wesley, because he looked so angry.

  Now she’d have to face him alone. Well, that was just the way it had to be. She squared her shoulders. She’d certainly faced bigger obstacles in her life.

  She marched to the bunkhouse door and walked in, knowing that the men would be out working—preparing for the storm and doing their routine jobs.

  “Wes?” she called. The bunkhouse was a long, rectangular building with a kitchen to the left and living quarters in the middle. To the back were the dorm-style sleeping quarters, and to her right was the bunkhouse office. The door was closed. She started to knock.

  Cookie called out, “He’ll be right back. Some unscheduled supplies came in from town, and he went to see them properly stowed.”

  Lizzy turned and wandered over to the kitchen. It was nice and toasty here by the large cookstove. The grizzled old cook smiled at her, revealing several holes where teeth had once been.

  “Best place to be on a day like today,” he said.

  Lizzy nodded a
nd held out her hands to warm them. “How are you doing, Cookie? I’m sorry I haven’t been out to see you before now. I hope Irma gave you that hot water bottle I picked up for you.”

  This only caused his grin to broaden. “She did. I used it last night. Helped my lumbago, and I’m fit as I can be this morning.”

  She chuckled. “So should I expect you and Irma to be kickin’ up your heels in town tonight?”

  “Grief, no. It’s comin’ up a storm. Don’t you feel it?”

  “I do.” Lizzy sighed. “I was hoping for a few more days of nice fall weather.”

  “Bah, you know how things are up here. It could snow a foot today and be gone tomorrow. Don’t be gettin’ all disappointed. Ain’t winter yet.”

  The door to the bunkhouse swung open and Wesley walked in. He seemed to fill the room, and Lizzy felt her breath catch. He caught sight of her and immediately stopped. A fierce wind blew in and froze Lizzy to the bone.

  “Close the door, you fool!” Cookie yelled.

  This seemed to shake Wes back into the moment. He did as Cookie ordered, then looked at Lizzy again. “I figured you’d come see me sooner or later. Your mother told me to expect you.” He sounded matter-of-fact.

  Lizzy had let her guard down talking to Cookie, and now just the sight of Wesley set her heart aflutter. Why did she have to love a man who clearly didn’t love her? Why did she have to love at all?

  “Yes,” she said, trying her best to sound businesslike. “Mother wants me to be aware of all that’s going on with the ranch. She said Uncle Oliver is bound to be much too busy, and since it was Father’s interest anyway, the duties fall to me.”

  “Are you trying to step into your father’s shoes?” Wes asked. His tone was even, and there wasn’t a hint of what he was thinking in his expression.

  Lizzy nodded. “As best I can. Someone has to.”

  Wes looked like he might say something, but then he just nodded. “Well, come on in.” He opened the office door and stepped inside.

  Lizzy hesitated. She glanced back at Cookie, who was coming toward her with a cloth-covered plate. “What’s that?” she asked.