When You Are Near

by Tracie Peterson

  For weeks now, Lizzy had been planning out a series of tricks she could do at a full gallop, and she wanted to add one additional element that would allow her to vault from the ground into a squat on the saddle. From there she would stand up, then go head first to the left side of Longfellow, somersaulting to hit the ground with her feet and vault backward and back up. It needed to be fluid or it wouldn’t look right. She hadn’t quite worked out all the problems, but she was close.

  She put Longfellow into a gallop and went into the pattern of vaults and spins, but when she tried the new elements, she lost her grip while vaulting backward, slammed her shoulder hard against the saddle, and lost control.

  She hit the ground face first, knocking the wind from her chest. She stayed completely still, trying to force her lungs to take in air.

  “Lizzy!”

  She would have moaned in frustration at the sound of Wes calling her name, but she couldn’t draw enough air. Of all the people to catch her in this situation, it had to be him.

  He rushed to her side and rolled her over, drawing her into his arms. “Lizzy, are you all right?”

  Thankfully she was starting to get control of her breathing. “I’m . . . fine.”

  His worried expression made her think back to what he’d told her about Clarissa.

  She struggled to speak without gasping. “Really. I’m fine.”

  “You scared the life out me when I saw you lying here. What are you doing, practicing without someone here with you?”

  He was still holding her, and Lizzy wasn’t in any real hurry to get away, but his accusing tone was more than she wanted to deal with at the moment. “I had work to do.” She drew a deep breath and ignored the ache in her side. “As you can see, I haven’t quite perfected my new trick. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get up.”

  Wesley helped her to her feet. “You need to quit this. You’re too old to do these dangerous tricks.”

  She put her hands on her hips. “Too old?”

  “You know what I mean. The older you get, the more you risk hurting yourself in a bad way.”

  “Is there a good way?”

  “Lizzy.” His voice was full of irritation. “I don’t think you should go with the show this year.”

  “Well, I don’t think you should either.”

  He stared at her as if trying to figure out what to say next, but Lizzy saved him the trouble.

  She reached down and picked up her hat. “I don’t need you telling me what to do. If you want to be useful, then be supportive and encouraging. If you only want to find fault, you can find it with someone else.”

  She dusted off her backside and whistled for Longfellow. He came immediately, but Wesley took hold of his bridle. “You need to listen to reason.”

  “What seems to be the problem?” Lizzy’s mother asked, coming to join them. Prince stuck close to her heels.

  Lizzy rolled her eyes. “He’s the problem. I fell off my horse, and he acts like it’s the end of the world.”

  “I found her on the ground, not even moving.”

  Lizzy stretched to her full height on tiptoes and pressed her face closer to his. “I was trying to breathe. That’s why I wasn’t moving.”

  His lips bore the tiniest hint of a smile. “Breathing wouldn’t have been a problem if you hadn’t been thrown to the ground.”

  “I wasn’t thrown, I lost my grip. Now give me my horse.”

  “No. You need to rest and make sure you aren’t hurt. Go sit down.”

  Lizzy heard her mother chuckle and stepped back to glare at her. “This isn’t the slightest bit funny. I have a routine to perform in just a few weeks, and if I can’t get the trick right, then I will have an even bigger problem.” She looked at Wes and shook her finger in his face. “Stop bossing me around. You are not my father or my brother.” Seeing he wouldn’t yield, she let out a growl and headed for the door. “Fine. You take care of his grooming and make sure that saddle is put away properly.”

  She slammed the door on the way out—just for good measure.

  Wes could see the amusement on Rebecca Brookstone’s face. He shook his head. What could he say?

  “Now that Lizzy has clearly established what you aren’t,” the older woman said, “maybe you should figure out what you are.”

  “She’s impossible. I thought she was dead.”

  Lizzy’s mother put her hand on his arm. “Wes, you can’t keep her from harm. She loves what she does and daily scares the life right out of me. But I can’t tell her she can’t do what she loves. She’d only hate me for it. She’d hate you too.”

  “But she could have been killed.”

  “Like Clarissa.”

  He swallowed hard and frowned. “Yes. Like Clarissa.”

  “Wes, Clarissa is gone. Lizzy is her own woman, and if you want a future with her, you’ll have to accept her for who she is. To do less would be to change her. Love and marriage are all about give and take. Lizzy’s ready to stop riding in the show, but if you tell her she can’t do it . . . she’s only going to keep doing it out of defiance just to prove she can.”

  “I don’t know how to win her heart.” Longfellow was getting bored with the conversation and began to shift around. Wes gave him a pat on the neck.

  Rebecca Brookstone smiled. “You’ve already won her heart, Wes. Now you just need to show her that you don’t see her as a child or someone to boss around, but as a partner—someone to share your life with, to grow old with.”

  “But she won’t grow old at this rate.”

  Rebecca grew thoughtful. “Mark didn’t grow old either, but he wasn’t doing anything more dangerous than sitting in a chair when he had his heart attack. None of us know when our time will come. Mark and I had some wonderful years together and a beautiful daughter. The dangers and risks were worth it. You might not have felt that way with Clarissa, but you two didn’t marry for love.”

  He tried to hide his surprise, but Mrs. Brookstone shook her head. “You don’t have to say anything about it. I know when a man and woman love each other. That’s why I know you and Lizzy are in love—even if you’re both too bullheaded to admit it.

  “Come, Prince!” The pup snapped to attention and hugged her heel. Mrs. Brookstone took a few steps, then turned to glance over her shoulder. “If you’re smart, Wes, you won’t waste all your time trying to make Lizzy into someone she’s not. After all, the woman she is now is the woman you fell in love with. If you force her to change, you risk losing everything.”

  He watched Lizzy’s mother leave by the same door Lizzy had just slammed moments ago. Was she right?

  He sighed and looked Longfellow in the eye. “What am I supposed to do?”

  twenty-one

  Lizzy was still seething over Wesley’s attitude a week later. The last of the performers had arrived only the day before. They were full of excitement about the 1901 show calendar, and Uncle Oliver and Jason had called a meeting for that afternoon. Meanwhile, Jason had done everything in his power to get Lizzy alone. He hadn’t succeeded, thankfully. Lizzy had no desire to spend time in private discussions with him when she had Wes on her mind. The trouble was that Wes was always on her mind.

  As everyone gathered in the large living room, Lizzy sat in the corner, wondering why Wesley’s opinion mattered so much. She felt bad for the way she’d acted. He had good reason to hate trick riding, and she knew he only wanted her to be safe.

  Mary plopped down beside her. “You look like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

  “I’m still upset over what happened last week with Wes.”

  “He hasn’t even been around to pester you,” Mary reminded her. “Your mother said the men have been so busy with calving that she’s not seen much of them.”

  “Yes, but Wes will be back soon enough. I ran into Phillip, and he said Wes intends to take the wrangler position with the show.”

  “But that’s a good thing. You’ll have all year to work on your feelings fo
r each other.”

  “Thanks everybody for being here so promptly,” Uncle Oliver said as he brought the meeting to order. “We’ve got some exciting news. Next year’s show schedule is fully set, and I’m delighted to announce we will be going abroad in the fall to England.”

  There were gasps, and several people had questions that spilled out all at once. Uncle Oliver held up his hands. “If you’ll just quiet down, we’ll give you all the details.” He proceeded to explain how they would tour extensively throughout the Midwest and move toward the East Coast. They would perform almost every day but Sunday.

  “The schedule will be grueling, but we will have a nice rest when we sail to London in August. We will perform in England for much of August and September, then sail home to finish out at the Pan-American Expo in Buffalo, New York.”

  It was exhausting just listening to the details. It was worse still when Uncle Oliver explained they would do all of this with half the crew.

  “You expect us to keep a schedule like that and take on other duties?” Alice Hopkins asked.

  “Not many,” Uncle Oliver assured her. “We want our performers to be well rested. We realize a daily performance is going to be hard enough. We haven’t worked out all of the details, and some of them won’t be known until we’re actually in the throe of things.

  “Now, Agnes has agreed to do part of the year with us, and while she’s with us, she’ll continue to train her niece Brigette, who’s been her assistant the last two years, to handle costumes and laundry for the troupe. Meanwhile, Brigette’s good friend Sally has joined up and is training to cook and clean. By having these two on board with us, we’ve been able to eliminate two positions, and once Agnes retires, we’ll be down another. All of this will save money in the long run.” He looked to Lizzy’s mother. “I presume training has been going well?”

  Mother nodded. “We’ve only just started, but it’s going well. Sally had experience in cooking for large groups, so she’s quite capable.” Everyone looked at the shy young woman who sat beside Agnes and her niece. “She’ll be ready when it’s time to go.”

  “Brigette too,” Agnes assured everyone.

  “Wonderful.” Uncle Oliver flashed a big smile.

  The meeting went on for over an hour before Uncle Oliver finally brought it to a close.

  “I want you all to finalize the performances you plan to give so that Jason and I can review them with you one by one. We want to pack as much into the show as we can. The acts will be in twenty-minute increments as before. This year, however, two hours prior to the show, there will be a local shooting contest that each individual town will advertise. The top three winners will compete against Mary. We’ll offer a prize of five dollars for the man or woman who can beat Mary.”

  “But it isn’t likely Mary will lose.” This came from Gertie.

  “Exactly. No matter the outcome, Mary will pose for newspaper photographs with the three top shooters. It will all be quite celebratory, and as word gets around from town to town, more people will be driven to try their hand.”

  “What if I do lose?” Mary asked.

  Uncle Oliver chuckled. “Given the fees we’ll charge to participate in the contest, it won’t be that big of a loss. If a man beats you, we’ll play it up that you were distracted by his stunning good looks or something.”

  Lizzy put out her own thought. “What if another woman beats her?”

  “Then we’ll hire her on,” Uncle Oliver said with a shrug, making everyone laugh. “There’s more. We’ve also made arrangements with the towns to handle concessions. The one provision is that they must carry our banners and programs and be prepared to give back our inventory and money immediately at the close of the program. Jason will be responsible for managing this, as well as the ticket sales.”

  Always in the past, a couple of the older men were responsible for these things. Lizzy thought it only right that if Jason was getting rid of the men, he should be responsible for taking on their jobs.

  When the meeting finally concluded, it was understood that the staff working with the horses had been cut by half and those taking care of household duties had been cut by three. Jason had also eliminated the need for two of the train cars and had re-outfitted the others. Gone was the family car, as Lizzy and Oliver both agreed they could bunk in with the others. Jason also explained how new, up-to-date arrangements for the horses allowed them to need fewer cars for the animals. She hoped—prayed—that he knew what he was doing. Transportation was hard enough on the animals.

  Glad to be out of the stuffiness of the house, Lizzy started for the arena, then changed her mind. There was plenty of time, and she wanted to work with Emerson. The colt was making great strides. Phillip and Lizzy had been working with him whenever time allowed. Soon, however, she’d be gone, and the responsibility would fall solely to Phillip. She didn’t want to miss an opportunity for the colt to become more familiar with her.

  At one end of the barn was the extended stall where Emerson was kept during the night. Temperatures had been brutal lately, and everyone felt it wise to afford the yearling extra protection. Lizzy grabbed a lead and went to the stall gate. Emerson was used to her now and came over in search of a treat.

  “Show me what you can do, and then I’ll give you a reward,” she told him, attaching the lead to his halter.

  She opened the gate and led the colt out of the barn. He was quite good on the rope. Wes had told her they’d worked through the summer with him, and it showed.

  The air was crisp, but the temperature had warmed to the mid-twenties, according to Cookie. With the sun out in full, the intensity of its heat was welcoming, and Lizzy lifted her face to let the rays wash over her. All the while, she walked with the colt beside her.

  She stopped several times, teaching him to respond to her commands. When he performed correctly, she praised him. “Emerson, you are quite the little stallion. I think you’ll be an amazing sire.”

  She continued down the main drive, stopping and doing turns with him from time to time. It was important to keep him working on these skills. While most ranchers would have put him in a field until he was three and then have someone break him in hard and fast, that wasn’t Lizzy’s style. She wanted to form a solid relationship with the colt. She’d trained Longfellow and Thoreau, and both now handled as if they were extensions of her own body. She didn’t plan to use Emerson in the shows, but she would still like to ride him.

  Lizzy had started the colt back to the barn when she saw Jason Adler making his way toward her. She sighed. “Well, we didn’t need his company, did we, Emerson?”

  “Goodness, Lizzy, you are hard to find at times,” Jason said as he reached her side.

  “I have work to do.” She reached up to stroke Emerson’s face. “A lot of work, actually.” She started walking toward the pens. “What can I do for you?”

  He chuckled. “I would be brash and say marry me, but I doubt that would get me any further than my previous proposal.”

  “No. It wouldn’t get you anywhere at all.” She glanced up to find him frowning. “Did you enjoy Chicago?”

  “Very much. I prefer city life in the winter.”

  “Only the winter? I figured you were sold on the city year-round.”

  Jason kept pace with her, and when they reached the pen, he opened the gate for Lizzy. She led Emerson inside, then took off the lead. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a few slices of dried apple. The colt was to receive them, then took off to join the other horses and see who he could push around.

  Lizzy laughed at his antics. “He’s such a fine animal. I’m more and more impressed with him.”

  Longfellow and Thoreau made their way over to her. Lizzy gave them each some apple, drawing the colt’s attention.

  “He’s definitely pushy,” she said, refusing to give him anything more.

  “A fella has to be around here to get any attention,” Jason replied.

  She ignored the comment and attached the lead
to Longfellow. “Don’t worry, Thoreau, I’ll send Ella to get you next.” She walked Longfellow from the pen, grateful that Jason was happy to manage the gate.

  “Thank you,” she told him as she moved off toward the arena.

  “Don’t you have even a few minutes to talk with me?” Jason called after her.

  He sounded so disappointed that Lizzy motioned for him to follow. “I can take a couple of minutes while I check over my saddle straps.”

  Jason nodded and caught up with her in two long strides. Inside the building, Lizzy tied off Longfellow, then went to the equipment stall.

  “So what’s on your mind?”

  “You are, of course. I missed you, Lizzy. If anything, the time away only proved to me how much you’ve become a part of me.”

  She had figured he’d take this line and decided to change the subject. “I see you managed to talk Uncle Oliver into England. I’m sure that pleases you.” She checked the saddle from top to bottom and back to front. She’d worked with Zeb to add a new strap for her latest trick.

  “It pleases me because it will allow me to show you London and our country estate. I know you’ll love it, Lizzy, and I know my parents will love you as well.”

  “Yes, well, I generally get along with everyone.” Pleased with the saddle, Lizzy grabbed a blanket. She was about to take it and the saddle to Longfellow, but Jason was at her side, pushing her hands away. He spun her around so quickly that she nearly lost her footing.

  “Please, Lizzy. Won’t you at least give me a chance? I’ve fallen quite madly in love with you.” He held fast to her arms. “You know that I want us to marry.”

  “But I don’t.” She decided against any attempt to sugarcoat her words. “I don’t ever intend to marry. Not you or anyone else.”