A Maverick Under The Mistletoe

by Brenda Harlen

  And yet she didn’t turn her car around; she didn’t drive away. Instead, she parked at the end of the long line of vehicles and tried to ignore the pounding of her heart.

  She could hear talking and laughing from inside even as she made her way to the door, and she wondered if anyone would be able to hear the ring of the bell over the cacophony of sounds. But her finger had barely lifted from the buzzer when the door was opened and she was face-to-face with Sutter.

  “You didn’t come to town hall.”

  She was taken aback by his greeting. Not the accusation of the words so much as the hurt beneath them. She hadn’t intended to hurt him. Truthfully, she wouldn’t have thought that she could. They were supposed to be beyond that.

  But somehow, only two days after vowing to put him out of her mind, she was at his door. And no matter how many times she told herself that she hadn’t come to see him, she knew it was a lie.

  “I figured I’d already made enough of a public statement at town hall on Monday night.”

  “Well, you’re here now, so you can join the party,” he said. Then he pulled her into his embrace and swung her around.

  Unable to do anything else, Paige held on as the world spun around her. Even when he released her and her feet were back on solid ground, her head continued to spin. And Paige knew it wasn’t a consequence of the physical motion as much as the euphoria of being in Sutter’s arms again.

  This was definitely a bad idea.

  “I’m glad you came.”

  His smile was so real, his joy so evident, she couldn’t help but want to share in the emotion of the moment with him. But that was a dangerous wish, so she said, “I can’t stay—I just wanted to congratulate Collin.”

  The brightness of his smile faded just a little. “Of course,” he agreed, and led her to the living room. “Look who decided to join the party.”

  In response to Sutter’s announcement, everyone turned. And Paige realized that every member of the Traub family was there, including the two brothers who now lived in Thunder Canyon, more than three hundred miles away.

  “I apologize for crashing the party,” she said, suddenly self-conscious.

  “It’s not crashing when you were invited,” Sutter pointed out to her.

  Ellie pressed a glass of champagne into her hand. “It’s wonderful to see you, Paige.”

  The greeting was so warm and sincere that Paige actually felt her throat start to tighten, but she somehow managed to smile. “It’s wonderful to see you, too.”

  Everyone greeted her warmly, if not quite as enthusiastically as Sutter had done. Of course, she’d always gotten on well with his parents and all of his brothers. And when she and Sutter had broken up, she’d missed his family almost as much as she’d missed him.

  “Congratulations, Mayor Traub,” she said when she’d finally managed to make her way through the crowd to Collin and Willa.

  “Thank you,” Collin said to her. “And thank you for speaking up at the town hall meeting—you really were the voice of reason in the midst of a lot of emotional chaos.”

  “I’m not sure that my opinion carried any weight, but I wanted people to focus on the relevant issues.”

  “It carried a lot of weight,” Willa told her. “And swayed a lot of on-the-fence voters.”

  “Well, now that those votes have been counted, your life is going to get even busier,” Paige pointed out.

  “We’re looking forward to it,” Collin said, drawing his new wife closer to his side. “We’ve got a lot of plans for this town.”

  “And we’re going to need a lot of help to implement those plans,” Willa said, her gaze shifting from Paige to the man standing behind her. “Which is why we’re hoping to convince Sutter to stay.”

  Paige looked up at him, surprised by Willa’s admission and wary about his response.

  “Plans are for tomorrow,” he said lightly. “Tonight is for celebrating.”

  His response suggested to Paige that his plans hadn’t changed. He’d told her that he would be going back to Seattle after the election, and she was counting on that promise. Because contrary to Alex Monroe’s parting advice, she didn’t want to resolve anything with Sutter—she just wanted him to be gone before he could do any more damage to her fragile heart.

  But as she visited with his family, she realized how much she’d missed all of them. She’d always enjoyed spending time with them, and she’d loved his parents as if they were her own. And if anyone was surprised that she’d shown up to take part in the celebration, no one said anything to her. They welcomed her into the fold as easily as they’d always done, almost making her feel as if the past five years had never happened. As if Sutter hadn’t broken her heart into a million jagged little pieces.

  He reached for her hand, linking their fingers as easily as he’d done a thousand times before. Those thousand times before had been more than five years earlier, but still her pulse skipped and her heart pounded. She wanted to tug her hand away, but she worried that doing so would draw too much attention to the fact that he was holding it.

  “I could use some air,” he said to her. “Will you take a walk with me?”

  She could use some air, too, but going outside with Sutter meant being alone with Sutter, and she wasn’t sure that was a good idea. In fact, she was sure it was another bad idea in a day that had already been full of them.

  He didn’t wait for her response but immediately started tugging her back toward the kitchen. She went with him because it seemed less awkward than refusing. But she was all too conscious of his mother’s eyes following as they left the room, and she knew that Ellie was probably speculating as to what it meant.

  But it didn’t mean anything. Paige wouldn’t let it mean anything.

  The night was chilly, and she was grateful for the sheepskin-lined denim jacket that she’d worn.

  As they walked, Sutter talked excitedly about his brother’s plans for the town. She could hear the pride in his voice, and she knew that he was sincerely pleased by Collin’s victory.

  “It’s not going to be an easy job, but I don’t doubt he’s up to it—especially with Willa by his side.”

  “They’re obviously both committed to the rebuilding of Rust Creek Falls,” she agreed.

  “And to each other,” Sutter noted. “It makes a world of difference to know that someone has your back, no matter what problems might arise.”

  “She loves him,” Paige said simply.

  “You used to have my back—I don’t think I really appreciated that at the time. I don’t think I ever realized how much I needed your support until you weren’t there anymore.”

  “I was still there,” she felt compelled to point out. “You were the one who left.”

  “You’re right,” he admitted. “But that didn’t stop me from missing you.”

  “I agreed to take a walk, not a stroll down memory lane.”

  “If the past is really the past, why are you so afraid to talk about it?”

  She was afraid because she knew how dangerous it could be to talk about the past, to remember how things used to be, how good she and Sutter had been together.

  “I just prefer to look forward rather than back,” she told him.

  “That’s too bad, because I have some really fond memories of the time I spent with you.”

  “It’s starting to snow.”

  “What?” He looked up, and seemed startled by the thick white flakes that were falling down around them.

  She’d been surprised by the change in the weather, too, focused so intently on Sutter that she hadn’t been aware of anything else. In fact, she hadn’t even noticed the snow until she saw the white flakes against his dark jacket and in his thick hair.

  “We should get back,” she said now and turned toward the house.

  Sutter caught her hand again. “You used to like walking in the snow, and I’m not ready to let go of you just yet.”

  He’d had no such qualms five years ago—not jus
t letting her go, but moving more than five hundred miles away. But she didn’t say any of that aloud. She didn’t want him to know how much his decision had hurt, how much it still hurt.

  “Do you remember the first night I kissed you?”

  Of course she remembered. She remembered every little detail of that night despite the eleven years that had passed since then.

  “It was a snowy night much like tonight,” he continued when she failed to respond to his question. “After the high school Christmas concert.

  “You were in the choir and I was in the audience, and when I looked up at you on stage—you took my breath away. I don’t know if it was the song you were singing or the white robe you were wearing, but you looked just like an angel.

  “And when you stepped forward to sing your solo in ‘Silent Night’… I’ve never heard anything more beautiful. Before or after. And when the concert was finally over and everyone was starting to file out of the auditorium, I asked if I could walk you home.”

  He’d stuttered a little over the words, as if he was nervous. She’d been just as nervous—maybe even more so. And though her parents had been in the audience and were waiting to give her a ride home, she’d opted to walk with Sutter. She’d been just sixteen years old, and totally infatuated with him.

  “I held your hand,” he reminded her, then smiled. “And I remember thinking it was a good thing we were both wearing gloves, because my palms were clammy. I think I fell a little bit in love with you that night, and I was as terrified as I was excited that you’d agreed to walk with me.

  “It was cold enough that we could see our breath in the air, and the snow crunched beneath our feet as we walked, but I didn’t feel cold. Because with every step of the five blocks from the high school to your parents’ house, all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss you, and whether or not you would let me.”

  He stopped now and tipped her face up, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Do you remember any of that?”

  “I remember that it was cold,” she told him. “And that my fingers and toes were numb even before we got to the church.”

  His brows drew together. “That’s what you remember?”

  She heard the disappointment in his tone and her heart softened. “And when we got to my house, we stood behind the stand of lodgepole pines,” she continued, “out of sight of anyone peering through the windows, and you kissed me.”

  He’d slipped his arms around her, drawing her close. Her heart had pounded; her knees had gone weak. His eyes had held hers as his head lowered slowly, until his lips brushed against hers.

  Her heart was pounding and the nerves in her belly were jangling as he drew her into his arms now. She couldn’t claim she didn’t know what he was planning to do any more than she could claim she didn’t want his kiss. When his mouth touched hers, the line between the past and present blurred. As the snowflakes swirled around them, Paige could almost believe she was sixteen again. Certainly her heart was pounding as hard and fast as it had then.

  His tongue stroked the seam of her lips, a silent entreaty that she couldn’t refuse. Her lips parted on a sigh, welcoming him. As the kiss deepened, she knew that this wasn’t a memory. Because Sutter’s kiss was that of a man, not a boy. And the innocent curiosity she’d felt as a teenage girl had been replaced by a woman’s yearning.

  His arms tightened around her so that they were pressed together from shoulder to thigh. Despite the thick coats they both wore, she could feel the heat emanating from his body and the answering fire that pumped through her veins. He was hot and hard—yeah, there was no mistaking the evidence of his arousal when he was pressed against her—and she wanted him just as much as he wanted her.

  Do we need to make an itemized list of all the reasons that this was a bad idea?

  The taunting voice of her subconscious made her pull away. But she kept her hands on his arms, holding on to him, because she wasn’t entirely sure that her legs would support her. She drew in a deep breath and willed her heart to settle back inside of her chest.

  She was undeniably shaken by the intensity of their kiss. Whatever she’d anticipated when she’d agreed to walk with Sutter, it wasn’t this. She couldn’t do this—she wouldn’t get wrapped up in Sutter Traub again, especially when she knew his return to Rust Creek Falls was only temporary.

  When she was sure that her legs would support her, she took a careful step back. “It’s late, and I need to get home.”

  As she turned, Sutter said, “Who’s running away now?”

  She didn’t respond. Because she couldn’t deny that she was running, but she had a valid reason: he’d already broken her heart once and she wasn’t going to let him do it again.

  Chapter Five

  Sutter held his ground as he watched her retreat, because he knew that if he chased after her, he might very well beg. And he’d never been the type to beg. So he watched her go as his own wants and needs continued to churn inside of him.

  Kissing Paige Dalton was not the smartest thing he’d ever done. On the other hand, he knew it had been inevitable, that they had been moving inexorably toward this moment since he’d walked her home from the town hall debate earlier in the week.

  He’d wanted one kiss—just to prove to himself that she didn’t have the same hold on him that she used to. Except that one kiss had proved him wrong. She tasted just like he remembered—right down to the cherry lip balm she’d favored when she was sixteen. Just one kiss and he knew that he wanted her as much now as he had then. Maybe even more, because he knew how good they were together.

  Except that Paige was with someone else now—a fact that he’d conveniently forgotten when he’d had her in his arms. He figured it was a safe bet that she’d forgotten about the mill foreman, too. There was no way she’d been thinking about another man while she’d been kissing him.

  But one kiss didn’t change the fact that she had a life without him. Or that her life was here in Rust Creek Falls and his was in Seattle.

  And he liked his life in Washington. He was proud of the business he’d built and the success it had become. He’d made new friends and he never lacked for female companionship if he wanted it. But he’d missed his family and his friends in Montana. And he’d missed Paige.

  He’d dated a lot of women in the past five years, trying to forget about her. Because he’d been certain that he would eventually meet someone who would make him forget the first woman he’d ever loved. The only woman he’d ever loved. Now, five years later, he was starting to wonder if she might be the only woman for him.

  When he’d left town, he’d been full of hurt and anger, determined to prove to himself and everyone else that he didn’t need anything or anyone he’d left behind. With time and distance, his indignation had eventually faded. He’d accepted that his own actions might have been a bit impulsive and not completely rational. But he still hadn’t been willing to admit he’d made a mistake, and he hadn’t been ready to go home. He’d left Rust Creek Falls with the intention of proving that he could make it on his own, and it had taken a while, but he’d done so. He’d built a successful business for himself in Seattle. He had a nice home and a comfortable life.

  And truthfully, for the first year after he’d opened the doors of his stables, he hadn’t had time for anything else. But lately he’d begun to feel that something was missing. When he went home to an empty house at the end of the day, he considered that it might be nice to have some company—and for more than just a few hours. In fact, it might be nice to share his life with someone.

  Except that he hadn’t met anyone in Seattle who inspired him to think of long-term plans. He’d met a lot of attractive, intelligent and fascinating women, but he couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life with any one of them. Because when he’d been barely twenty years old and head over heels in love with Paige Dalton, they’d made plans for their future together. Obviously things hadn’t turned out the way they’d planned, but he couldn’t forget the dreams
they’d shared—and he couldn’t imagine any other woman occupying the space she still held in his heart.

  When Paige’s taillights disappeared at the end of the long drive, he finally headed back toward the house and the party still going on inside.

  “Everything okay?” Collin asked when he returned.

  “Everything’s fine.”

  “Good, because I wanted to talk to you about some of the ideas Lissa Roarke had to generate national interest in the rebuild of Rust Creek Falls.”

  “I was your campaign manager. The campaign is over,” Sutter pointed out to him. “You don’t need my advice or opinion on anything anymore.”

  “I need your help.”

  He shook his head. “I’m sure Lissa has everything under control, and I have to get back to Seattle.”

  “You’re really going to leave?”

  “That was always the plan,” Sutter reminded him.

  “I know,” his brother admitted. “But I thought—I hoped—things had changed.”

  His mind drifted back to the kiss he’d shared with Paige. That all-too-brief moment had proved to Sutter that his feelings for her were as strong and steadfast as ever.

  “No,” he said. “Nothing has changed.”

  * * *

  Ellie Traub couldn’t sleep. And when she couldn’t sleep, she ended up tossing and turning, disturbing Bob’s sleep. The alternative was to slip out of bed and pace. When the boys were younger, Bob used to tease that she was going to wear out the floor by the window. She’d put an area rug on the floor—not really to protect the wood but to muffle her steps so that he wouldn’t hear her.

  She’d paced for each and every one of her boys on numerous occasions, some more than others. She’d done a lot of pacing when Forrest was in Iraq. It was the hardest thing in the world for a mother to know that her child was in danger and not be able to do anything to help. When he came home wounded, she only cared that he was home. Yes, he had scars—physical and emotional—but he was alive and the healing could begin.

  She’d hoped that Sutter might come home then, too. She hadn’t realized how deeply he’d been wounded by the falling-out with Forrest and, consequently, the rest of the family. But he’d come home when he’d heard about the floods because he’d known the family needed him, and that gave her hope that he might someday come home to stay for good. Seeing him with Paige Dalton tonight further bolstered that hope.