A Maverick Under The Mistletoe

by Brenda Harlen

  * * *

  Sutter had always known that family was important to Paige. If he’d had any doubts, the lengths to which she’d gone to ensure his reconciliation with his mother obliterated them. But he still hadn’t fixed things with his brother, and he knew that was the necessary next step, because his breakup with Paige went back to his falling out with Forrest.

  He’d wanted Paige to stand by him, to support him, but she’d sided with his brother instead. Or so it had seemed when he’d been twenty-three years old and had desperately needed someone to be on his side. In retrospect, he could accept that there had been no right or wrong, and that nothing that had been said or done then could have fixed what had gone wrong between him and his brother. Only he could do that.

  And he needed to do it. Because fixing what was broken between him and Forrest was the only hope he had of fixing things with Paige for good. And he wanted to fix things with Paige, because she was the only woman he’d ever loved—and the woman he still loved.

  He knew that she still had strong feelings for him, too, but she was wary. He understood why. The frequent references she made to his life in Seattle were proof that she expected him to leave again—because he’d told her that he would. But that conversation had taken place before the election, and a lot had changed in the weeks that had passed since then.

  This wasn’t his first trip back to Rust Creek Falls since he’d left town five years earlier, but he could count the number of trips on one hand, and every one of his previous trips had been of short duration. In fact, prior to this most recent visit, he didn’t think he’d ever managed to stay longer than a weekend. Even when he’d planned to spend a week or two, old hurts and insecurities had reared up and driven him back to Seattle again.

  He was determined to finally put those old hurts and insecurities to rest so that he could look to the future instead of the past. He knew that Forrest and Angie were in Rust Creek Falls for Thanksgiving, and he knew he couldn’t delay any longer. Before Forrest had enlisted, when he’d thought he would stay in Rust Creek Falls and work on the Triple T with his father and his brothers, he’d built a small house on the property. Since Sutter didn’t want to cause a scene in front of the whole family, he decided to track his brother down there.

  Despite the chill in the air, Sutter felt perspiration bead on his brow as he approached the front door. Now that he was actually at the door of his brother’s house, his heart was pounding in his chest and his mind was assailed by doubts and fears, the foremost one being: What if Forrest turned him away?

  And he realized it was the fear of screwing up again that had held him back from making any overture prior to now. So long as he hadn’t reached out and been slapped back, there was always the possibility of fixing his relationship with Forrest. But if he tried and failed— No, he didn’t even want to consider the possibility.

  He was relieved when the door opened and he saw that it wasn’t Forrest standing on the other side but his beautiful young wife, Angie.

  “Sutter?”

  He couldn’t blame her for being uncertain—they’d only met once before, when she and Forrest had come to Rust Creek Falls the night of the election to support Collin in his bid for mayor.

  “Yeah,” he said. “I apologize for dropping by uninvited—”

  “You’re family,” she interjected, and a smile of genuine pleasure and welcome spread across her face. “Family doesn’t need an invitation. Please come in.”

  Sutter stepped inside, and removed his hat from his head.

  “Can I get you anything? A cup of coffee?” She glanced pointedly at the hands that clutched the brim of his hat. “A glass of whiskey?”

  So much for thinking he didn’t look as nervous as he felt. He cleared his throat. “Actually, coffee would be great, if it’s not too much trouble.”

  “It’s already on,” she said, leading him back to the kitchen.

  She gestured for him to sit, so he did, and she poured a fresh mug of coffee for him.

  “Is, uh, Forrest around?”

  “He just went out for a walk—part of his morning ritual. The exercise helps ease the stiffness in his leg and the fresh air helps clear his head. He still has nightmares sometimes,” she confided, “but not as often as he used to.”

  “Forrest and I— We’ve never really talked about what he went through in Iraq,” he admitted.

  “Probably because you’ve barely spoken at all since he got back.”

  “He told you that?”

  “He did,” she confirmed, and the look she sent him was almost apologetic. “And so has everyone else in town.”

  “I should have figured.”

  Angie reached across the table and touched his hand. “But you’re here now, and that’s what matters.”

  “I guess we’ll have to see if your husband shares that opinion.”

  As if on cue, the back door opened and Forrest came in.

  “Sutter.” Forrest looked from his brother to Angie, as if she might have the answers to the questions that were undoubtedly spinning through his mind.

  “I hope it’s okay that I stopped by.”

  “Sure. I’m just…surprised.” He looked at his wife again, silently—almost desperately—pleading.

  Angie poured another mug of coffee and pressed it into Forrest’s hands. “I’m going to head up to the main house, to see if your mom needs anything from town,” she said.

  Then she kissed her husband, and gently squeezed Sutter’s shoulder as she passed.

  Forrest didn’t move until the door closed behind her, then he took a couple of hesitant steps toward the table and finally lowered himself into a chair across from his brother.

  “It looks like the move to Thunder Canyon was a good one for you,” Sutter noted.

  The hint of a smile played around the corners of his brother’s mouth. “Better than good.”

  “Marriage definitely agrees with you.”

  “I didn’t think it was what I wanted,” Forrest told him. “After Iraq, I was so messed up. I felt guilty for living when so many others had died. And I didn’t want to be happy. I didn’t think I deserved to be happy. Then I met Angie.”

  “And put a ring on her finger before she could change her mind?” he teased.

  “Angie was the one who was in a hurry. I just wanted to make her happy.” He took his time sipping his coffee, as if he was trying to figure out what else to say. “You could’ve come to the wedding.”

  “I did,” Sutter admitted.

  Forrest frowned. “You were there?”

  Sutter nodded. “But I didn’t want anyone to know I was there, so I snuck in the back of the church just as the bride was starting to walk down the aisle. By the way, interesting choice of ring bearer.”

  His brother inclined his head. “Apparently you were there.”

  “I’m guessing there’s a story behind the dog?”

  Forrest nodded. “Smiley’s a therapy dog—and the reason I met Angie.”

  “You looked happy,” Sutter said.

  “I’ve never been happier,” his brother said. “Angie wasn’t just what I wanted, but what I needed. She turned my life around.”

  “I’m glad.” He finished his coffee and decided he’d procrastinated long enough. “But I didn’t come here to talk about your wedding.”

  “I didn’t think you did.”

  “I wanted to talk to you… Well, I guess I just really needed to say that…I’m sorry.”

  “What exactly are you apologizing for?”

  “For not supporting you when you chose to go back to Iraq.”

  “You were expressing your opinion.” His gaze dropped to his leg. “And it turned out you were right to have some concerns.”

  “I didn’t want to be right,” Sutter told him. “I just wanted you to be safe. I was terrified that something would happen and I’d lose you forever.” He dropped his gaze to the now-empty mug he held cradled between his palms so that he could pretend his eyes weren’t b
lurred with tears.

  “And thank God you came home and we didn’t lose you forever,” he continued, when he was sure he could do so without blubbering. “But the past five years have felt like forever. And I hope you can forgive me, because I’d really like my brother back.”

  Forrest cleared his throat. “I’d like mine back, too.”

  “Really?” Sutter couldn’t believe his brother was letting him off the hook so easily. Except that if he considered that he’d been estranged from most of his family and Forrest had nearly been killed, none of it had been easy for either of them.

  “Really,” Forrest confirmed.

  “Now I wish I’d had the courage to initiate this conversation when you’d first returned from Iraq.”

  His brother shook his head. “I wasn’t ready then, and not for a long time after. Probably not until Angie pushed her way into my life.”

  “I’m looking forward to getting to know her and hearing her version of the story,” Sutter said.

  “She taught me not to live in the past,” Forrest confided. “And she gave me hope for the kind of future I long ago gave up thinking I could ever have.”

  “I guess when you have a woman like that, you’d be crazy to let her go.”

  “You’re thinking about Paige,” his brother guessed.

  Sutter nodded. “I made a lot of mistakes five years ago.”

  “Is she still making you pay for them?”

  “No. Yes.” He shook his head. “I don’t even know. She doesn’t seem to be holding a grudge, but she is holding back.”

  “You want more than she’s giving you?”

  “I want it all,” Sutter admitted.

  Forrest’s brows lifted in silent question.

  “Marriage, kids, forever,” he clarified.

  “Have you told her that?”

  “Not yet.”

  “What are you waiting for?”

  He wasn’t sure. Or maybe he was worried that Paige wasn’t sure. And he wasn’t ready to put his heart on the line without being certain that hers was involved, too.

  “If I learned nothing else in Iraq, I learned that there are no guaranteed tomorrows. If you want to be with Paige, don’t wait to tell her.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Sutter invited Paige to Thanksgiving dinner at his parents’ house, but she had to decline the invitation because her family was having their meal at the same time. When they’d dated in the past, they’d managed to get two meals out of the day because his family always had theirs at lunch and her family preferred to eat at dinnertime. But for some inexplicable reason that seemed to surprise Paige as much as it surprised him, Mary Dalton decided to have an early meal this year. Sutter half suspected that she’d deliberately scheduled her lunch to conflict with his family’s plans and ensure that Paige wouldn’t be able to spend the holiday with him.

  His mother was bustling around the kitchen, completely in her element as she choreographed the preparations. Willa was mixing the coleslaw; Angie was mashing potatoes. Even Dallas’s boys had been put to work: Ryder was putting pickles into trays, Jake was dumping dinner rolls into baskets and Robbie was helping his grandfather set the table.

  When everything was ready and bowls and platters covered almost every inch of the table, they all sat down and Bob said grace. As the food was passed around, Ellie decided that—in honor of Thanksgiving—everyone should share something for which he or she was thankful. There were some subtle groans and protests, but his mother wasn’t easily dissuaded.

  “I’ll start,” she said as she added a spoonful of candied yams to her plate. “I’m thankful to Hank Pritchard for making the extension for this dining room table, but I’m especially grateful that so many of our children and grandchildren are here to sit around it with us today.”

  The only one of Sutter’s siblings who hadn’t come home for the holiday was Clayton. Sutter knew that his brother would have liked to have been there, but now he and Antonia were married and living on her family’s ranch, where she managed the Wright Way boarding house with her widowed father and three brothers. And while Ellie was undoubtedly disappointed, she understood that Antonia had a family of her own and other responsibilities. That fact—along with Antonia’s promise that they would come to Rust Creek Falls for Christmas—lessened her disappointment, at least a little.

  Ellie looked at Robbie, who was seated to her left. “What are you thankful for?” she asked her grandson.

  “That Uncle Collin married my teacher, ‘cuz she smells really good.”

  Willa’s cheeks flushed in response to the boy’s exuberant comment while the other adults chuckled.

  “I’m glad it’s a long weekend, so there’s no school until Monday,” Jake declared.

  “Braden?” Ellie prompted.

  “This one’s easy,” he said. “I’m thankful that Sutter’s home to help me muck out stalls.”

  Bob was up next, and he smiled at his wife at the opposite end of the long table. “I’m grateful that, forty years ago, I had the good sense to marry my Ellie.”

  Ellie’s eyes sparkled with moisture as her own lips curved.

  Angie was beside her father-in-law. “I’m thankful for my new husband and his wonderful family.”

  “I’m thankful for the support of my whole family—” Forrest looked at Sutter, then shifted his attention to his wife “—and especially for my beautiful wife.”

  The only one who faltered was Dallas, and Sutter could understand why he might not be feeling particularly thankful after the events of the past year. But when he finally spoke, he said, “I’m thankful for my sons—Ryder, Jake and Robbie—who are the very best part of my life.”

  Ellie’s eyes filled with tears again. They all knew it had been a rough year for Dallas, and Sutter was glad his brother was able to appreciate how fortunate he was to have the three boys who looked at him as if he was the center of their world—and he was.

  When it was finally Sutter’s turn, he looked around the table, at the family he’d stayed away from for far too long, his gaze pausing on Forrest beside his new wife. “I’m thankful for the second chances that I’ve been given since returning to Rust Creek Falls.”

  Of course, thinking of second chances made him think of Paige, and the advice that his brother had given to him the day before. There are no guaranteed tomorrows. If you want to be with Paige, don’t wait to tell her.

  He’d barely touched the plate he’d heaped with the food his mother had spent hours preparing, but he pushed his chair away from the table and stood up.

  Ellie looked at him, obviously startled—and not at all pleased—by his abrupt action. “What are you doing?”

  “I have to see Paige.”

  She frowned. “Now?”

  “Right now,” Sutter confirmed. “Because she gave me a second chance, too, and I’m not going to blow it.”

  “I hardly think staying to finish your meal would blow anything,” she chided.

  Sutter looked at Forrest again. “I’m not willing to wait another minute to tell her how I feel about her.”

  * * *

  Paige had always loved Thanksgiving, but as she sat at the dining room table with her family, she couldn’t help feeling as if something—or someone—was missing. She wished Sutter was there, or that she was at the Triple T with his family. But with each of their families deciding to have the meal at similar times, there was no way for them to be together without choosing one over the other.

  But maybe it was better this way. Maybe they needed to spend the holiday apart so that she would remember they had separate lives now. Lately she’d started to fall into the trap of thinking they were a couple again, because they’d been acting like a couple. Spending almost all of their free time together, talking every day when they couldn’t see each other.

  Every time her phone buzzed to indicate a text message, her heart started to beat just a little bit faster because it might be a message from Sutter. And if it was, she’d inevitably feel
a smile steal across her face. She was acting like a lovesick teenager, further proof that she’d fallen for him all over again.

  Paige and her sisters had just started clearing away the empty plates when there was a knock at the door. Visitors on Thanksgiving were unusual, as most everyone in town was celebrating the occasion with their own families. Since Paige was closest to the door, she responded to the knock—and her heart knocked hard against her ribs when she found Sutter on the porch.

  He smiled. “Happy Thanksgiving.”

  “It is now,” she said.

  “Am I interrupting?”

  “We just finished eating. Did you want to come in for dessert?”

  He shook his head. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

  “Sounds ominous,” she teased.

  “It’s not,” he promised. “At least, I don’t think it is.”

  “Then it can wait until after we have pie,” she said, and took his hand to drag him into the dining room.

  “We’ve got one more for dessert,” she said brightly, dragging Sutter into the dining room.

  There had been several conversations taking place around the table, and they all faded away.

  “Happy Thanksgiving,” Sutter said.

  The chorus of halfhearted and mumbled responses immediately put Paige’s back up. She understood that her family disapproved of certain things Sutter had said and done five years earlier, but if she’d gotten over them, she expected they should be able to do the same.

  “I hope I’m not intruding,” he said.

  If he’d been anyone else—or if the same scene had played out more than five years earlier—her mother would have assured him that he wasn’t and her father would have jumped up to find him a chair. Today, her mother only said, “I’m surprised to see you, Sutter. Doesn’t Ellie usually host a big lunchtime meal on Thanksgiving?”

  “Yes, she does. And she is,” he told her. “But I slipped out early to see Paige.”

  “I imagine it was probably a little awkward around the table,” Mary said, with false sympathy, “since your brother’s home from Thunder Canyon for the holiday.”