by Sarra Cannon
“I’ll have you know that Knox is already at the bar working on the inventory.”
My shoulders tense. He’s also not supposed to take away my excuses.
“Who told him he needed to do that, huh?” I put a hand on my hip.
Colton is completely unfazed by my anger. The right side of his mouth curls into a smile. “I was trying to do something nice for you, but if you honestly would rather sit in this house and let life pass you by without ever experiencing anything, I guess I’ll leave you to it, then.”
He turns and walks toward the truck, and I can’t believe he’s just going to leave.
I go after him, stomping every step of the way. I grab his arm and spin him around. “I experience things, thank you very much.”
“Like what?” he asks. He motions toward the bar. “You go into work nearly every night and then you go home. You cook in your kitchen and you stay wrapped up so tight in your little comfort zone that you refuse to acknowledge what you’re really doing.”
“Oh? And what’s that?”
“You’re hiding,” he says. “You’re hiding from life, Jo, letting every day pass without ever taking any risks or stepping into the unknown. You have to have every little thing exactly as it was the day before, and I’ll tell you what I think.”
I clench my teeth, my breath coming faster. “What?”
He takes my arms in his hands and pulls me closer, the memory of last night’s kiss rubbing up against my consciousness and spinning my world upside down.
He leans closer. “I think you’re missing it,” he says softly. “You’re missing life, because you’re too scared of what might happen if you actually lived it.”
His words knock the breath right out of me.
“Haven’t you wanted to know what it would feel like to just jump into the deep end for a while?” he asks. “Forget the past for a while and just enjoy this moment. This time in your life. This person standing right here in front of you.”
I can’t look away from his eyes. They have a hold on me that’s too strong to release. And he’s right. There’s a part of me that wants those things so badly, I’m almost willing to risk my heart just to get them.
And there’s no way he can know just how much that scares me.
I relax my shoulders, my mind made up.
“Well, if we’re going to have some fun, don’t just stand there staring at me like a lost puppy,” I say, pulling away. “You’re killing the mood.”
His face breaks out in a huge smile, and as I run back to the house to grab my things, I feel more alive than I have in a very long time.
Chapter Fifteen
I feel like the champion of the world when Jo finally gets into my truck. I walk around to the other side and see that her father is standing in the kitchen watching us from the window. He lifts his mug and smiles, and I nod and wave.
I got up early this morning, because I couldn’t get my mind off this woman. I wanted to do something fun that would give us a chance to step away from the bar for a while and really let loose outside of work. When I saw those old fishing poles leaning against the side of the garage, I got the idea of taking her out on the river for the day.
Coming up with a plan was the easy part. Getting her to agree to go instead of working all day? That was the only hang-up. But somehow, I managed to convince her to get in the truck and for the entire day, she’s all mine.
I climb in and give her a smile.
“Alright, Boss, you ready for one of the best adventures of your life?” I ask.
She makes a face. “That’s a pretty bold statement for a guy who’s just taking me fishing,” she says. “Are you sure you’re up to the challenge?”
I start the truck and pull onto the road, heading for Knox’s place on the lake. “Baby, I was born for this,” I say.
I reach over and turn up the radio. WKTX Fairhope, and they’re playing one of my favorite country songs. I start singing at the top of my lungs.
Jo laughs and relaxes into the seat. It’s a cloudy day, but her laughter is like the sun coming out from behind the clouds and finally showing its face.
Kissing her last night has lit me up from the inside, and I feel like a brand new person. She’s a challenge in the best way, and I cannot wait to see her relax for a little while. I got my first glimpse of a more relaxed Jo out at Knox’s lake house last weekend, and even more of it last night when she got a little tipsy, but now I’m addicted. I want more.
I want to see her shed whatever fears she’s got strapped to her shoulders. I want to see her truly be herself without always second guessing the consequences of every move.
When we finally pull down the bumpy dirt road toward Knox’s house, she’s singing along to the radio, her feet pulled under her on the bench seat of my truck. She looks happy, and it sends a zing of warmth through my body.
All I care about today is making her smile. As big and as often as possible. If there’s anyone in the world who deserves a break, it’s Jo.
I park behind Knox’s house and we grab the gear from the back and make our way down to the dock. Knox is at the bar and Leigh Anne is hanging out with Jenna for the day, so we have the place all to ourselves.
It takes two trips to get everything settled into the boat, but when I reach for Jo’s hand, she frowns.
“Uh oh, what is that about?” I ask.
She pulls back. “I don’t know. I’m just worried about the inventory,” she says. “Knox hasn’t done it in a long—”
I place a finger over her lips and shake my head.
“No way,” I say. “You are not going to ruin your own day by worrying about what’s going on at the bar. It’s your day off, Jo. Let the bar handle itself for a while.”
“Colton, you don’t understand.”
“Oh, I understand completely,” I say. “But you’re the one who said you knew how to have a good time outside of the bar, am I right?”
She shifts her weight from one foot to the other and nods.
“Then prove it,” I say, smiling. “First rule of the day. No talking or worrying about work.”
“Well, if those are the rules, you better take me home right now,” she says with a nervous laugh. “Besides, without work, I have nothing to talk about.”
“And you don’t see the problem with that?” I ask. “Josephine Warner, I’m going to make it my personal mission to see that you start living a little outside of that bar.”
Her cheeks flush. “I like my life just the way it is.”
I step back onto the dock and pull her into my arms. I allow a lazy smile to play across my lips. “Then darlin’, you have no idea what you’ve been missing.”
As I pull her into the boat with me and we shove off into the deeper part of the lake, I sincerely hope with all my heart that she lets me show her just how fun it can be to change things up every now and then.
Chapter Sixteen
I cannot believe he actually talked me into coming fishing. How exactly did he even do that? One second I was determined not to go, and the next I was in his truck headed for the lake.
I watch him as he steers the boat out into the middle of the lake. The wind whips his dark blond hair back, and there’s a hint of a smile on his face. He’s one of the most comfortable guys I’ve ever known. He’s just easy and happy and free, like nothing’s ever weighing him down.
I wish I could be like that. I wish I could just take these regrets off my shoulders and toss them out into the water, letting my hair hang wild and free. I wish I could shed the mistakes of my past and start over, but those mistakes are a part of me. I don’t even know how to be me without them.
I honestly don’t even understand how a guy like Colton could be interested in someone like me. I’m not at all the type of girl he usually dates, and if he knew the baggage I bring with me into any relationship, he might want to turn this boat around and take me home.
But we’re here, and I’m determined to make the most of it.
&n
bsp; What if he’s right? What if all this time I’ve been pushing everyone away, I’ve been missing out on something important?
“Where are we going?” I have to shout over the sound of the motor and the wind.
“There’s a little place about a mile from here where I’ve gotten lucky quite a few times, so I thought we’d start there,” he says.
Gotten lucky? God, I really hope he’s talking about fishing, and not about all the other girls he’s brought out on his little river adventure. I don’t even want to think about how many girls he’s probably surprised with a fun date like this. Colton Tucker, always up for a good time.
I hate that twist in my gut when I think about what this all must mean for him. Why can’t I just relax and have a good time?
But I already know the answer. I don’t want to be just another notch in his bedpost. And I’m not sure he’s looking for anything more.
I wish I could talk to him about all this, and tell him how worried I am. But you don’t do that at the beginning of a… whatever this is. Do you? I always imagined it was supposed to be something natural that you just sort of fell into. But I’m not fond of the falling part. Or at least I’m not fond of the hitting the ground part of it. I just want to know where it’s all going so that I can protect my heart from whatever’s coming next.
“What in the world are you thinking about?” he says. “From the look on your face, I’d think your favorite kitten just died.”
I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I was getting wrapped up in my head for a while there.”
I don’t dare tell him what I was thinking about.
He cuts off the motor and stands, the boat teetering back and forth. He laughs and holds his arms out for balance. He slowly makes his way over to where I’m sitting at the very front of the boat. He kneels down in front of me.
“Close your eyes,” he says softly. With the motor turned off and the boat stopped, it’s suddenly very calm and still out here.
I search his eyes, trying to figure out what he’s going to do, but he reaches up and covers my eyes with his hand.
“Okay, okay,” I say. “They’re closed.”
He doesn’t move his hand. Instead, he moves onto the seat right next to me, his warm body pressed against my side.
“Just breathe,” he whispers in my ear. “Listen. Don’t think. Hear the water moving against the bottom of the boat. The wind rustling through the trees. The animals moving out there in the woods just off the bank. For just a minute, don’t worry about work or responsibility. Just be, Jo. Just be a part of this.”
I take a deep breath, filling my lungs with cold autumn air. I hear the slap of water against the side of the boat. Something moves, its feet crunching through the leaves in the woods to our left. I breathe again, my shoulders relaxing.
Colton’s hand drops to mine, and my eyes flutter open. I turn my head to look at him, and his deep green eyes stare right into mine.
He’s right. I never do this. I never let loose and just have a good time anymore. I never just enjoy anything.
What’s happened to me?
“I don’t know how to do this,” I say. “Not just listen or breathe. I don’t know how to date someone, or even if this is dating. I don’t know what you want or how to—”
“Shhh,” he says, placing a fingertip over my lips. “You don’t have to know. Life isn’t about knowing where every single step is going to take you before you make it.”
“That’s easy for you to say, you haven’t…” I stop before I say anything more. I’m afraid I’m turning this whole thing into a huge bummer for him. I want to tell him that I’m simply not the right person for him, and that he needs to go find a girl who knows how to just have fun.
“I haven’t what?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Nevermind,” I say. “Do you want to go home?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m not going home until you’ve caught at least one fish,” he says.
I laugh. “We could be here for weeks.”
“Then we better get started,” he says. He stands and moves to a seat closer to the center of the small boat.
“Here’s your pole,” he says. “Do you remember how to bait a hook?”
“You just put a worm or a cricket on it and go, right? How hard can it be?”
“My kinda girl,” he says, handing me the fishing pole.
My stomach twists. I am so not his kind of girl. How can he not see that?
“Here.” He also hands me a styrofoam cup full of dirt.
I set my pole across my lap and dig around in the dark, moist dirt until a worm moves against my fingertips. I pull away and shiver. “Sorry, eww,” I say.
“Want me to do it?” he asks.
“No, I can do it,” I say. “I just need to work up to it.”
I take a deep breath and dig into the dirt again, this time grabbing hold of a fat, juicy worm. I pull it out with pride and fiddle with my hook, finally spearing the poor worm. I wipe my hands on my jeans.
“Alright, now we’re getting somewhere,” he says. He’s already got the bait on his own hook, and he casts out into the water.
It takes me several tries to get mine into a good spot, but once I’ve done it a few times, I start to remember what it was like fishing with my daddy all those years ago.
I keep my eye on the little red and white bobber floating on the surface of the lake. Colton passes something toward me, and I’m surprised to see he’s got a steaming cup of coffee in his hands.
“Wow, you thought of everything, didn’t you?”
“I aim to please,” he says, and for some reason, that phrase sends a warm rush through my insides.
I have no doubt he knows how to please, and in more ways than one.
I bite down hard on my lip and take the coffee, not meeting his eyes. I’d die if he had any idea what I’m thinking. “Thank you,” I say.
I’m trying to juggle the coffee in one hand and the fishing pole in the other when the bobber disappears.
“Oh!” I drop the coffee, spilling the hot liquid all over my leg, but I somehow manage to keep hold of the pole. I yank it toward me and feel the fish catch and begin to swim against me. “I think I got it.”
“Reel it in. You got it,” he says.
I spin the reel as fast as I can, pulling the fish toward the boat. Colton moves closer and grabs a small net from the bottom of the boat, waiting.
“I can’t believe I actually got one,” I say, smiling from ear to ear. I haven’t caught a fish since I was a little girl. I forgot how exciting something so simple could be.
“Here it comes,” he says. “I can see it.”
He leans down and dips the net into the water, coming up with a large silvery fish who is not at all happy about his current predicament.
“Woohoo,” I shout, my voice echoing off the trees that surround us.
Colton leans back. “Woooo.”
I laugh so hard my side hurts. “Poor little guy,” I say as he works to get the hook out of the fish’s mouth. “We have to throw him back in.”
“Are you kidding me? Some cook you are, wanting to throw a good fish like this back into the water?”
I stick my lower lip out and give him my best pleading eyes. “Please, let’s not keep any of them today,” I say. “I would feel bad.”
He shakes his head and looks at the fish. “You are one lucky son of a gun,” he says. He tosses the fish back into the water and it splashes and swims away.
“Sorry, but I just couldn’t stand to watch it die,” I say.
“But you have no problem cooking up a whole rack of ribs?” he asks. “You know those don’t grow on trees, right?”
I roll my eyes. “I know. There’s just something about catching it yourself and having to watch the whole process,” I say. “I’d rather just buy my food at the grocery store and try not to think about where it comes from.”
“Okay, then we’ll make a pact. Any fish we catch today we
can throw back, but next weekend maybe we’ll get some fish at the local market and you can cook something for me.”
Next weekend? He wants to make plans with me again? Just like that?
I avoid his gaze and swipe at the coffee stain on my jeans. “I can’t believe I spilled my coffee,” I say.
“That’s one way to warm up, I guess.” He’s smiling, and I wonder if there’s anything he can’t put a positive spin on.
“Do you always do that?” I ask.
“What?” He sits back down and checks his pole.
“Find the bright side?”
He shrugs as he reels his line in and casts again. “I guess growing up the way I did with six sisters all crammed into a small space, I realized I had two choices in life,” he says. “I could complain about everything I had no power to change, or I could figure out the things that made me happy and focus on those. It didn’t seem like a tough decision.”
I put another worm on my hook and cast my line out into the water.
“Tell me about your sisters,” I say. “What was it like growing up with six siblings?”
“It was like growing up with a pack of wolves,” he says, laughing. “Seriously, most of us are only about a year or a year and a half apart, so we all grew up really close to each other.”
“And where do you fit into the seven?”
“I’m the baby,” he says with a smile.
“Of course,” I say.
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”
“It explains your laidback attitude about everything,” I say. “I imagine once you’re the seventh kid to come along, you have to sort of learn to roll with the punches.”
“Literally,” he says, taking another sip of his coffee.
“What? Like your older sisters were into beating you up?”
“No, but they were into dressing me up,” he says and pretends to shudder at the memory. “Which is really much worse, trust me.”
I laugh. “I really hope there is photographic evidence of that.”
“Don’t even think about it,” he says.”
“And all your family lives on the land now?” I ask. I’m totally fascinated by his family. Growing up as an only child makes his life sound so exotic.
