by Sarra Cannon
There are a lot of tears that afternoon. A lot of frustrations. But there is also laughter and love.
Together, we search for a plan and a way to make it through the storm ahead.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
I wake up to pain. I open my eyes to tiny slits and close them again, the light too bright and painful to face.
What the hell happened last night?
I try to sit up, but my whole body aches.
“He lives,” Willow says with a laugh.
I raise my head and look around. The entire band is gathered in the kitchen of the beach house and the entire room smells like pancakes and bacon.
I groan. “What time is it?”
“After four,” Willow says. She comes over to where I’m sitting on the couch and ruffles my hair. “You were out, man. Haven’t seen you like that in years.”
I shake my head. “Shit, four?”
I’m supposed to work tonight, and man is Jo going to be pissed. I go to check my phone, but the battery is dead.
“What exactly did we do last night?” I ask.
Greg brings over his special hangover concoction, and I down it, holding my nose against the stench. The taste brings back memories of high school hangovers and drunken nights. What the heck was I thinking, coming over here?
I instantly regret it.
I vaguely remember doing shots out on the back porch, dancing and listening to music so loud it made my teeth rattle.
“You feeling okay?” Greg asks, patting my arm.
“I feel like I’ve been hit by a damn truck,” I say. “I can’t keep up with you guys. How are y’all even up and smiling right now? Or was I the only one who got wasted last night?”
“Shit, we’ve been professional party hosts for years now,” Greg says with a laugh. “You’re just out of practice.”
I try to stand, but my head is pounding.
“Whoa there, cowboy,” Willow says, helping me sit back down. “Take it easy. What’s the rush?”
“I’m supposed to work tonight,” I say. “My shift started twenty minutes ago.”
“Uh oh, someone’s going to be in trouble with the boss’s daughter,” Greg says with a laugh.
But it’s not funny at all. I think about the argument I had with Jo last night and groan. I was so stupid, getting upset with her about the guitar and the radio show. It wasn’t her fault. It was just my dad’s words getting all mixed up in my head. I need to get myself right so I can go and apologize. If she isn’t so angry she won’t talk to me.
If she is, I deserve it.
I really messed up this time, and it sucks.
“You want some breakfast?” Willow says. “We made bacon and eggs and waffles.”
“I need to get in the shower and head out,” I say. “I’m late.”
“Aww, don’t rush away like that,” she says, grabbing my hand as I start up the stairs. “And don’t forget to think about what we discussed last night.”
I squint at her. “I have no earthly idea what you’re talking about,” I say. “Refresh my memory, please.”
“Coming along on this leg of the tour with us,” she says. “Don’t tell me you forgot our entire conversation about that? You said it sounded fun.”
“I did?” My brain is a fog, all of last night’s memories jumbled together.
“Six weeks on the road,” she says. “That’s all I’m asking. I’m begging you, Colton. Help us write some good songs. We need you.”
“It really would be fun,” Greg says. “Just like old times, man. Playing good music. Seeing the country. Touring with some of the big names in country. It’s the chance of a lifetime.”
I shake my head. I can’t even believe I told them I’d think about it. I can’t leave Jo and the bar. Not now.
“I’ll let you know,” I say, not wanting to get into it right now. Right now I just want to shower and get home before Jo kills me.
“We’ll swing by your place when you get off work tonight,” Willow says. “We have to head out of town around two this morning, so you need to make a decision.”
“Two?”
“Yeah, we have to be in Birmingham by noon,” Greg says. “But we’ll stop at your place to say goodbye either way.”
I nod. “Okay, I’ll see you guys then.”
Upstairs, I strip down and step into a scalding hot shower, trying to wake myself up and get my bearings.
It was stupid to come here last night, but for some reason, I just needed to let loose. I needed to let go of responsibility and figure out what I really want. But now I know. Being in a relationship is scary, but it’s worth it. I need to let Jo know how I’m feeling.
I just pray I haven’t already messed things up beyond repair.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
At four I head over to the bar to get things ready for the night. Knox is working with me so that I can go back to check on Daddy whenever I want, but it was Colton who was supposed to be on tonight.
I’ve tried to call him several times, but he isn’t picking up and I’m starting to get worried about him. I really needed him this afternoon, and it isn’t like him to just disappear like this. Is he still upset about last night?
His truck is still missing from the drive, and I wonder if something happened with his family. But he would have called me, right?
I don’t get it, but I’ve got so much on my mind right now, I can’t even think about it. Hopefully he’s okay, but then again, if he is, why isn’t he here?
“How is he holding up?” Knox asks when I walk in the door. He pulls me into a hug, and I have to fight back fresh tears.
“He’s doing well, all things considered,” I say. “You know Daddy, he’s always trying to find the bright side, even in this. He’s determined to fight as hard as he can for as long as he can. He’s found a lot of stories online and already reached out to a few people who have blogs and websites dedicated to their fight against ALS. People who have been battling it and surviving it for years.”
Knox nods. “That sounds like the Rob I know,” he says with a smile. “How about you? You doing okay?”
“I’m feeling a bit numb,” I say. “Angry, I guess. I don’t want this to be real.”
“I understand,” he says. “We’re going to make it through this together, okay? I’ve still got that appointment with the specialist in Atlanta in a few weeks. Maybe he’ll have some answers your local doctor doesn’t have.”
“I hope so,” I say.
“You know Leigh Anne and I will do everything we can to help out, no matter what,” he says.
“Thanks, Knox,” I say. “I don’t know what we’d do without you.”
“Where’s Colton tonight,” he says. “I don’t mind coming in to help, but it’s weird for him to call out like this.”
“He didn’t even call out,” I say. “He just up and disappeared. I don’t know where he is.”
Knox frowns. “That’s strange.”
I shrug. I’ve gone through so many emotions over the course of the past several hours that I don’t even know what to feel. Disappointment. Worry. Anger. I’m praying for a really slow night at the bar so we can close up early. Heck, I considered closing down completely, but Daddy said we have to keep living and we can’t let this stop us from having a normal life for as long as we can.
I know he’s right, but it’s hard. It feels like the whole world should have stopped this morning, at least for a little while.
An hour later our first customers arrive. I try Colton one more time, but when he doesn’t pick up, I decide not to call him anymore. He’ll call whenever he’s ready, I guess, but I can’t dedicate any more of my worrying to him right now.
Throughout the evening, I make my way out back to check on Daddy a few times, make sure he eats dinner and isn’t obsessing too much over the internet.
“I’m fine, really,” he says. “I’ll probably watch some TV and then call it an early night. Tomorrow I want to make some calls to a few specia
lists I found online. See if we can get in for an appointment and a second opinion.”
“Sounds good,” I say, kissing his cheek. “Get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”
It’s dark out, the weather turning colder. I pull my jacket closer as I walk the few feet back to the bar.
Footsteps shuffle on the pavement, and I pause, peering into the dark shadows near the back door. There are lights shining from the garage, but I forgot to turn on the light by the back door of the bar. I squint, trying to see if someone is back there.
“Hello?” I say, my feet glued to the pavement beneath them.
Someone laughs, and my heart tightens in my chest. I recognize that laugh.
I glance back toward the house, wondering if it’s better to make a run for the bar or the house, but I don’t move fast enough.
Bryan steps into the light, blocking my path. “Well, well, if it isn’t Josephine,” he says. “All alone in the cold, dark night.”
“What are you doing here?”
There is a brown bag in his hand, wrapped around a glass bottle. Liquor. I can smell it from here.
He stumbles toward me, and I take a step back.
“I was just walking by, minding my own business, when I saw you scurry back to your house for a few minutes like a little scared mouse,” he says. “I came over to see if you would come back out. I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
My throat is dry, and I wrap my arms tightly around myself. “I have nothing to say to you.”
“Now, see, why do you have to be like that?” he asks, throwing his arms to the side. Some of the liquor sloshes from the top of the bottle and lands on the ground at his feet. “An old flame comes back to town and you don’t even have two nice words to say to me? Like there was never nothing between us that mattered? How do you think that makes me feel?”
Anger reaches up through my throat, burning. I force it back down, knowing that I can’t push him. Nothing I say to him is going to make him realize why I want nothing to do with him. I need to say whatever it takes to get him to let me pass.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” I say, hating the words as they leave my lips. “We should talk sometime, really. Catch up on old times. But right now, I’ve got to get back to work. Maybe some other time, though, okay?”
I step toward the back door of the bar, but he moves to counter me.
“Uh, uh, uh,” he says, wiggling a finger back and forth. “You’re not getting away that easily, Joey. “You owe me.”
“I’m sorry?”
“That’s right. You owe me. You embarrassed me both times I came in with my buddies, just trying to have a good time,” he says. “You made me look like a fool, and you know how much I hate that.”
You didn’t need any help from me, I want to say. But I keep my lips shut. I back away two steps, ready to make a run for the house since he’s blocked my way to the bar. I slowly reach for my phone in my pocket, realizing too late that I left it in the office inside the bar. Dammit.
“Don’t you remember when we used to have some good times together, baby?” he asks, stepping toward me.
I back away again, but he just follows me. I’m afraid that if I run, he’ll grab me. He’s too close.
Inside the bar, the music’s up too loud for Knox to hear me scream, and Daddy has his TV on in the back bedroom. What if no one hears me?
I shiver and take another step backward.
“We used to be real good together,” he says, stepping closer. “All I want is for things to be that way again. You owe me that much after everything you put me through.”
He reaches for me, and I turn and run. My boot catches on a stone, and before I can catch myself, I fall to the ground. Scrambling, I try to stand, but it’s too late. Bryan wraps one strong hand around my forearm and yanks me to my feet.
“Let go,” I say through clenched teeth. I try to pull away, but he has me tight.
“See that’s what I never understood about you,” he says, pulling me against him, his breath stinking of booze. He leans down, his prickly beard scratching my face. “You used to be all over me with those deep brown eyes, looking at me like you wanted me to teach you how to be a woman. Remember that?”
I close my eyes, struggling against him. This can’t be happening. I won’t let this happen.
“All I want is for you to look at me like that again, Joey,” he says. “There’s no one back here but us. Come on, be a good girl.”
I lift my boot and stomp on his foot as hard as I can. When he jerks, I yank my arm away and start to run, but he’s faster than I expect him to be. He grabs my arm and twists me around, slamming his glass bottle against the side of my head.
Pain explodes behind my eye, and I fall to the ground. Warm blood trickles down my face, and I push against the pavement with my feet, scurrying backward.
Bryan lunges toward me, but headlights pull into the driveway, catching him off guard.
He turns to stare into the light, and I hear the truck skid to a halt. The door to the truck slams closed and Colton appears, hands drawn into fists.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asks.
“None of your—” Bryan starts, but before he can say anything else, Colton’s fist pounds into the side of his jaw.
Bryan stumbles back, then pushes forward, pushing Colton back to the truck. He has at least two inches of height on Colton and about sixty pounds, if I had to guess.
Fear and anger and confusion rush through me. I scramble to my feet.
Bryan takes a shot at Colton, but he ducks the throw and Bryan loses his balance. When Colton comes back around, he gets a few good punches into Bryan’s gut and face, sending him back onto his ass on the ground.
I run around behind Colton, but he motions to the house. “Get inside, I’ll handle this,” he says.
I grab his shoulders. “Don’t,” I say. “Just come with me to the bar. We’ll call the police.”
Bryan tries to stand, his nose bleeding down his chin and onto his shirt. The bottle he was carrying is smashed on the ground beside him.
“You asshole. I think you broke my nose,” he says.
“I’ll break a whole lot more than that if you don’t get the hell out of here,” Colton says.
“Come on,” I tell him, not wanting this to get any worse than it already is.
I tug on Colton’s arm, pulling him back toward the door. My hands are trembling, but I manage to find the right key and unlock the back door, pushing him inside. Bryan is still sitting on the pavement, cursing and holding his nose.
“Are you okay?” he asks, reaching for the wound on my forehead.
“I’m fine,” I say, pushing him away and walking into the main part of the bar.
Knox’s eyes grow wide, and for an instant, he looks from me to Colton and back again. Anger flashes in his eyes. “What happened? Did he hurt you?”
“Oh great, you really think I’d do something like that?” Colton asks. “That’s just great.”
“No, Bryan attacked me out back,” I say. “Call the police. Tell them what happened. Colton beat the crap out of him and he’s still out there, but I don’t want him causing more trouble.”
Knox nods and disappears into the back room. There are only a handful of customers in the bar, but they are all watching us, whispering to each other and trying to figure out what happened.
I steady myself against the bar, grabbing a few cocktail napkins and filling them with ice. I press the napkins against my pulsing head, so ready for this cursed day to be over.
“Let me look at that,” Colton says, touching my arm.
I pull away, so angry I can hardly see straight. “Where were you?” I ask. “I’ve been trying to call you all day, Colton.”
He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I know I was supposed to work tonight, but Willow and the band called me late last night and asked me to come out. They’re leaving town early in the mor
ning tomorrow and I didn’t want them to go without saying goodbye.”
“So you were out partying with the band all day and night?” I ask. “Why didn’t you answer my calls?”
He almost laughs, and the sight of that smile I normally love just fuels my rage. “I guess I got a little too crazy,” he says. “I totally passed out and didn’t wake up until a little while ago. I drove home as soon as I could.”
“Nice,” I say, shaking my head. He’s been passed out drunk all day while my whole world was falling apart. Some boyfriend.
“What the big deal?” he asks, following me into the store room. “I mess up one time. I’m late for one freaking shift, and you’re this angry? I’m sorry, Jo, I really am. I got here as fast as I could, and I don’t know what else to say. And thank god I got here when I did.”
“Yes, thank you for being my knight in shining armor,” I say, turning to face him. “I’m glad you were there when I needed you tonight, because if you hadn’t pulled up, God knows what might have happened. But I needed you earlier today, too, and where were you? Passed out in Willow’s bed? Drop dead drunk, not even thinking about the fact that my father’s big appointment was this morning?”
“Oh shit,” he says under his breath, running his hand through his hair again and adjusting his weight from one foot to the other. He reaches for me, but I step back. “I’m so sorry. I completely forgot. How did it go?”
Hot tears streak down my face like lava, burning me up from the inside. “Not good, okay?” I say, choking on sobs. “He’s dying, if you must know. And there’s not a damn thing any of us can do about it.”
“What?” he asks. He grips my shoulders to steady me. “Jo, what happened? What did the doctor say?”
My face crumples and I look away, not wanting to say it out loud again. Wanting to just go to sleep and wake up to find that this whole day was just a nightmare.
“Jo, oh God, I’m so sorry,” he says. “Talk to me.”
“He has ALS,” I say. “There’s no cure. The doctor says he likely has between three and five years to live, and that’s if we’re lucky. So that’s what I’ve been dealing with all day while you were out partying.”
