Cat's Night Out: Tails from the Federal Witch

by T S Paul

  “What’s with the black chicken? Trying to cross the road?”

  The crow cocked its head at the mini-Unicorn, and its shiny black eye gleamed with intelligence in the light of the sun. The mouse knight readjusted its lance and tapped the crow. The two of them launched into the sky.

  “Can’t take a joke can ya! Good riddance.” Fergus watched them fly off into the sky, and he snorted. The hay patch was looking mighty fine at the moment.

  Unknown to Fergus, the diminutive knight, and his steed didn’t leave, but looped around and were lining up for the kill. The shadow of the crow was like an arrow from the gods as it raced across the garden aimed straight at Fergus’s heart.

  ~~~~~

  Thunder rolled, and there was a flash of light. The mouse warrior and his mount were frozen in the air.

  “Shoo! Shoo!” I raised my hands to release the pair, waving the crow and its rider away. “You know the rules. The Unicorn is under my protection. Stay in your own territory. Tell your King I will be watching in the future.”

  Looking down I could see Fergus cowering behind my shoes. “You can come out now.”

  “What the flaming hell was that!”

  “That was one of the mice-knights. I believe I told you to stay away from the mice?” I gave the small Unicorn my sternest look.

  “Uh, I may have heard you say that. But, why was a mouse riding a crow?” Fergus allowed Agatha to pick him up.

  I sighed. Time for a history lesson. “Agatha bring Fergus over to the table.” We sat down at the picnic table, and Fergus explored the table top.

  “When our ancestors explored and settled in this area, they first created the Garden. I have told you about how it is the oldest Witch Garden this side of Europe. Entire generations of our family have worked magic on the land here. This Garden has been the focal point for it all. Magic changes things, especially living creatures. Both Fergus and the squirrels are good examples of this. As Witches, we try very hard to not work magic upon live creatures. They take on magical aspects, the most common of which is magical immunity.”

  I caught Agatha’s eye. “The mice were already living in the area when the Garden was created. They have changed over the years. Out there, is a mouse kingdom of intelligent mice that are immune to magic. We made a bargain with them years ago that they would keep to the Garden and not cause trouble. However, their new King has been pushing the boundaries of our deal. Hence the crows. Try to avoid them if possible. Magic cannot hurt them, and they are not afraid of us. Do you understand?”

  “Grandmother, do they have houses and things?”

  “Agatha, honey, I have no idea. My mother always told me to respect the bargain and stay away from them. They live in that direction.” I pointed toward the north part of the Garden.

  “I almost got that one, but he ran away! The horn is all-powerful!” Fergus shook his head and horn and pranced about.

  “Come along little warrior. The coven should be here soon, and we have a house to decorate.” I led the two of them back towards the house.

  I could see movement ahead as we approached the huge Victorian style house we lived in. Coven members were draping fresh pine boughs across the porch and window eaves. Cappy’s truck was just pulling up, so the Sanderson sisters must have come through with a fabulous tree.

  “Agatha, child. Why don’t you go get cleaned up? When you come down you may join us in decorating.”

  I watched as she ran up the back steps and into the kitchen. Smiling, I approached Cappy as he stared into the back of his truck.

  He gave me a short bow and addressed me as ‘Milady.’

  I smiled but gave him a stern look. “Cappy, you do not have to do that outside of the covenstead.”

  “I am aware of that Milady, but it suits me to do it. Now. Those sisters have outdone themselves this year. This has to be the biggest tree we have ever had. I’m not entirely sure how we got it into the truck.” The tree in question was a Norwegian Spruce that simply filled the back of his truck. It was eight feet tall, and as he said, the largest in years. I took it as a good omen for the next year.

  It was well that Agatha was not underfoot as we muscled the tree into the house. Half of those attending to the decorations were needed to just get it through the front door. It was marvelous and looked as if it had grown in place in the living room. It was going to be an eventful celebration.

  The murmured voices of those helping to decorate could barely be heard when Agatha reappeared. She was dressed as a princess and was very cute.

  “Is this our tree?”

  “It is dear one. Do you like it?”

  I watched as she circled the tree, stepping close to the wall to get all the way around. “He says you have turned his best side to the light.”

  I felt my eyebrows go up. “Who says that Agatha? Did you bring Fergus down with you?”

  “No, he’s watching TV upstairs. I was talking about Boamire. He likes the potion you put into the stand.” She continued to stroke the branches of the tree and circle it. Could she really be talking to the tree? There was a spell I could use to converse with the plants, but even I have never spoken to a Yule tree.

  “Would you like to help me decorate Boamire? We have a great many things to place upon him.”

  Agatha smiled at me but continued to stare at the tree.

  Opening the first box, I began to pull out hand-knitted lace garland and my Grandmother’s tree skirt. Many of my decorations had been in the family for a century or more. I said a word of power and caused the garland to circle the tree, only helping it along near the bottom.

  With Agatha helping, the decorations went up far faster than in more recent years. “What about the top Grandmother?”

  “That, Agatha is for you to help with. We have a selection. You must pick the one for this year, and I will lift you up to place it.” I pointed to the five symbols arrayed on the floor. Each represented an element: Earth, Air, Fire, Water, Spirit.

  “This one!” She held up a gold and silver pine cone from one of the majestic Redwoods of far off California. It symbolized Earth.

  “Excellent! Now hold on.” I spoke a word of power and lifted her up. She squealed happily as she took flight. Carefully, she placed the cone at the top of the tree.

  Setting her back down I smiled at her. “Now we have cooking to do for tonight. Do you wish to help or would you like to go play with Fergus?”

  “Can I sit here and talk to Boamire?”

  “Of course you can, dear. Call me if you need anything.” I watched as she grabbed a pillow off the couch and sat in front of the tree. Every so often she would say something as if she were carrying on a conversation with the tree.

  ~~~~~~~

  The Winter solstice Yule celebration was a major gathering here at the house. Our entire valley was protected from harm by generations of magic users. The house was the focal point for the magic, and it was its presence that prevented winter storms from ravaging the valley. So far this winter we had been spared the snow. This was a season for feasting, drinking and for sacrifice. This was the pinnacle of the eternal battle between the Oak King and the Holly King. It was the passing of the seasons. We would celebrate the changing of the seasons and toast to the King’s victory over his brother.

  As I dressed for the celebration, I could hear the guests arrive. It was traditional for me to dress as my ancestors did. I favored the more formal outfits from a century ago, but this year I chose that of the first Blackmore.

  Standing at the top of the stair, I watched my friends and family gather in the foyer. The house would only be opened after I made my formal entrance. I cleared my throat and made my grand entrance to the party. For this occasion, I wore a houppelande over my party dress. The outer robe is similar to that of academic robes used in colleges. Mine was decorated with gems and gold thread depicting our history and our future as Witches.

  “Greetings one and all and welcome to our annual gathering of the Briarwood Coven. Merry me
et and Merry part and Merry meet again. Welcome, all of you to my home.” I descended the stairs and clasped hands with many old friends along the way.

  “You always have to make the grand entrance. How are you, mother?” Camilla clasped my hand but refused a hug.

  “I am fine. Are you here alone or did you bring Harrison and the girls?”

  Camilla frowned at me and made an ugly face. “His name is Harvey. You know very well that Harrison died last year. The girls went to church with Harvey. His family has a large to-do. Besides, they have chosen their own path. Is Agatha here?”

  “Of course she is. She and Fergus should be around here somewhere, she is family after all.”

  “Fergus, who is Fergus?” Camilla looked around the room at all the visitors.

  She didn’t know. I smiled at that. “Fergus is the name of the Unicorn. He is quite frisky for one so young.”

  “The Unicorn? Mother, talking to Unicorns, at your age?”

  “You leave my age out of this conversation young lady. I am still your mother and don’t you forget it. Now go circulate please.” I shook my head wondering why she even bothers anymore.

  Many of my oldest friends were here as well as some I didn’t know. I wandered the room greeting new faces and old. It was at the back of the room that I found the woman I searched for.

  “Kassandra thank you for coming.” I embraced the much older woman sitting in one of my overstuffed chairs in front of the fire.

  “Milady Blackmore, I would not have missed it for the world.” Kassandra was at least eighty years old and was the oldest seer on the Continent.

  “Did you get my message about Verity’s bracelet?”

  “I did. In fact, I have been watching your granddaughter since I arrived.” She pointed.

  Looking in the direction her finger pointed, I saw Agatha still dressed in the princess outfit sitting out of the way in front of the tree.

  “She claims it's talking to her.”

  Kassandra looked up at me. “It is. If you listen very carefully, you can catch a phrase here and there. Where did you get this one?”

  “The Sanderson sisters. They claimed it grew just for me.”

  “They might be right. Or rather it was grown just for her. Has she done anything else to shock the neighbors?”

  “Not yet. By the Gods Kassandra, neither of my daughters had a third of the power she exudes. I’m not sure I can train a Witch such as she.” Kassandra reached up to take my hand.

  “Marcella, she will become the best of us. Under her leadership, our coven will accomplish great things. She is the linchpin that will make or break relations with the humans. Empires will rise, and Empires will fall. But all will bow to the Maker, the Taker, the Giver, and the Breaker. She will tame the beasts and rise to the heavens. Even the Gods will know their own. Doom be to those who cross her, but love will conquer the world.“ Kassandra sagged in her seat and looked up at me again.

  “Did I just make a prophecy?”

  “You did. I will teach her everything I know.” I repeated the prophecy to her.

  “Do that. Even the Gods…” I felt the world shift.

  The house gave a slight shiver and then a rumble. Everyone in the house froze and then burst into conversation. Earthquakes in Maine were extremely rare. I turned to speak to Kassandra when again when everything went sideways!

  The house shook, and a loud crack sounded through the house. Many of the party goers were thrown to the floor. Cries of ‘Earthquake’ sounded through the house.

  I felt a surge of magic that made my ears ring and then the house settled back down.

  “What… What was that?” Kassandra didn’t answer me but was staring at Agatha with wide eyes.

  The little girl got up from where she was sitting and approached me. “Grandmother, I fixed Boamire. He doesn’t hurt anymore!”

  “You did? What did you do?” I suddenly realized that she was the cause of the Earthquake.

  “I gave him his roots back.” She smiled at me with the cutest dimples on her face.

  Glancing at the Yule tree, I noticed that it no longer sat in the special tree stand. It now grew out of the very floor. “Agatha, dear. Does the tree grow through the floor now?”

  “Of course not. That would be silly Grandmother. Bugs and things could come through the hole. This is better. He’s now part of the house. Forever! Now I can always talk to him and hear his stories.” She skipped back and sat down next to the tree.

  Kassandra looked over at me and spoke a quote I barely remembered. “For I am the Soul of Nature, who giveth life to the universe…”

  My house now has a tree growing out of it?

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  I laid my head down on my desk and felt a tear roll down my cheek. It was very hard to hate your own child, but I was getting there with Camilla. By-the-Gods, why did she have to make this so hard?

  Looking at my personal altar next to my desk, I said a tiny prayer and mentioned that my question was rhetorical. You never know with the Gods.

  In front of me on the desk, was a long list of schools with red Xs next to each name. My own daughter had managed to sabotage any attempt on my part to enroll Agatha anywhere for elementary school. Raising my head up, I gently placed both hands on my forehead and concentrated on my Third-Eye Chakra. Wisdom and intuition were enhanced by this part of the brain. My choices were simple. Send the poor child away to boarding school or teach her myself. I suspect that Camilla wished for me to send her away. The simple fact of doing that would hobble her as a witch. Overseas boarding schools weren’t like those in the Wizarding books. I need to find out how I could teach her and not run afoul of the educational authorities.

  Wiping my eyes, I sat up straight, picked up the phone and dialed. “Harry, I need to understand how Maine treats homeschooling. Can you check into that for me?”

  Harry was one of my oldest friends and one of the best lawyers in the state. He could answer any question for me.

  I listened for a moment and answered the questions he asked me. “That’s fine then. It’s Camilla again. She took it upon herself to block Agatha from all the schools within any reasonable driving distance. I will have to teach her myself then. I want to be able to do so legally and without issues.”

  Harry’s calm voice at the other end of the line told me everything that I wanted to hear. We set up an appointment for later this afternoon to go over his firm's findings.

  “Agatha? Are you here?” I called up the stairs. Not hearing anything I went outside onto the porch. She has so far kept to the rules and not strayed into the Garden alone.

  I heard the giggling and laughing the moment I stepped outside. Agatha and Zeus were roughhousing out on the lawn. Even though Zeus is a very large cat, he acts like a dog. Agatha would throw one of his toys. Zeus would catch it and then they would chase each other to get the toy back. It looked like a fun game!

  “Agatha, dear!” The little girl paused in her pursuit of the cat and ran instead toward me.

  “Yes, Grandmother?” Her clothes were a mess, covered in grass stains and leaves but she had the biggest smile on her face.

  “We are going to go into town for a couple of errands. Can you go and get changed?”

  “I can! Can we get ice cream?” Agatha ran towards me and gave me a big hug.

  “Of course we can. Where is Fergus?”

  “He’s upstairs watching TV. Do you want me to bring him along?”

  “Please do. Now run along. We have an appointment with a friend of mine in a couple of hours so scoot.” I watched Aggie run into the house.

  “Meow.” I looked down at my familiar.

  “Happy? I know she’s a handful, but I appreciate you helping.” Sometimes I wonder how my conversations with Zeus appeared to others. Crazy cat lady, some might say. Zeus was a gift from a friend. A re-gift, if you must know. Too much cat for them. His breed makes him one of the largest domesticated house cats on the planet. In some ways, he's smarter than
some of the townspeople around here. He was certainly more attractive than most of them.

  Zeus meowed at me and rubbed up against my legs. I didn’t have to reach far to scratch his head. “I know buddy, I know. Go play. Try not to eat Fergus when you play with him.”

  I stepped into the house and climbed the stairs to my room. Unlike Agatha’s, mine was at the very end of the hall. It was traditionally the head of the clan’s room. It had secrets of its own and guarded them well. Selecting business casual clothing, I quickly changed and went to check up on Agatha.

  I could hear her speaking to Fergus as I approached the door.