Texas Rose

by Marie Ferrarella

  “What?” Matt liked to watch the way her smile claimed all of her, like sunshine creeping over the darkened land at daybreak.

  “I’m just remembering my first time here. There were so many different languages, so many different-looking people, I thought I’d been dropped in the middle of a foreign country. I guess it can be pretty overwhelming,” she agreed.

  That’s putting it mildly, he thought. His eyes narrowed as Matt looked in the distance. The block was sloped just enough for him to note a huge cluster of people shoving slowly forward along the sidewalk. “Is there some kind of parade today?”

  She had no idea what he was talking about. “Not in the middle of July.”

  “Then what’s that?” He pointed toward the sidewalk crowd several streets away.

  Rose could barely make out the subway entrance at the end of the block. “Just people going to work.”

  “Oh.” It looked like the beginning of some kind of mass movement to him, but she knew better. “If you say so.”

  Turning to look at the building they’d just exited, Matt took in the adjacent skyscrapers.

  He shook his head. The only kind of skyscrapers he liked were mountain ranges. “Kind of dwarfs a man,” he muttered.

  Rose looked up at the building and then at him. One side of her mouth curved slightly. “I’d imagine it takes more than a few buildings to dwarf you.”

  Her comment, offered so casually, surprised him. He could feel a warmth spreading slowly within his chest. Maybe coming here hadn’t been a fool’s errand, after all. Maybe Beth was right, there was hope.

  “Thanks.”

  Rose shrugged, realizing her error too late. She had to be careful or he’d figure out that she was only pretending to not care about him. “Just calling it the way it is.”

  If she felt that way, he didn’t understand her behavior. “Then why—”

  Way ahead of him, Rose put her finger to his lips before he could say anything further.

  “Rule Number Two,” she announced. “The only way this is going to work is if we don’t talk about certain things. Like the recent past.” Realizing she was far too close to his lips for her own comfort, Rose let her finger slip down. “Let’s just enjoy the day, all right?”

  Damn, did she know how much control he was exhibiting by not just sweeping her into his arms and kissing her hard, right here, until they were both senseless? But somehow, he managed to keep up the charade.

  “All right, but you just broke Rule Number One.” When she looked at him quizzically, Matt elaborated. “No touching, remember?”

  She knew she was only encouraging him, but she couldn’t seem to hold the amused smile back from her lips. “That rule was for you, not me.”

  “Oh.” He pretended to think it over for a moment. “Doesn’t seem very fair.”

  “No,” she said more to herself than to him. “Lots of things aren’t.”

  But she couldn’t dwell on that, couldn’t dwell on the unfairness that separated her from him, that would ultimately separate their baby from him. With a surge of determination, she roused herself.

  “All right, Aunt Beth said we should start with the Empire State Building. Let’s get a cab. Although…” Her voice trailed off as she looked out on the street and saw myriad cars, all moving slowly, all honking. There were more than a smattering of cabs sprinkled through the mix. They weren’t moving any faster than the rest of the traffic. “We might make better time if we just walk.”

  Gauging the speed of the vehicles, Matt mused silently, they could probably make better time shuffling all the way. He hooked his arm through hers.

  “Sounds like a plan to me.”

  Her first instinct was to leave her arm just exactly where it was, pressed against his side as they began to weave their way through the sea of humanity. But self-preservation dictated that she had to disentangle herself if she was to maintain a shred of the boundaries she was trying to impose on both of them.

  “Rule One,” she reminded Matt as she slipped her arm out.

  He inclined his head, telling himself to be patient. Patience won a man everything.

  “Rule Number One,” he murmured, letting his hand drop to his side.

  Relieved, Rose flashed him a smile as she took the lead.

  “Hell of a view,” Matt was forced to agree. They were standing on the outdoor observation deck on the eighty-fifth floor of the Empire State Building. He’d expected that there would be a breeze, relief from the insufferable heat that was plaguing the city, but the humidity was just as intense here as anywhere else. “If you like looking at other buildings.”

  “It’s even better if you look through one of these,” Rose said, pointing to one of the many silver telescopes placed equidistantly along the deck. “For a dollar you can get a close-up of a breathtaking view.”

  “I’m looking at one now, and I didn’t even have to pay anything.”

  He had the prettiest tongue when he wanted to. Rose could feel a blush bubbling within her veins a split second before it began to slowly slip over her.

  She had to be a prize idiot, she thought, blushing at a compliment from Matt Carson. The man had seen her nude, for heaven’s sake. Why was she blushing like some silly adolescent schoolgirl looking up at her very first crush?

  But this was a new twist for him. Matt had never been that complimentary before, she recalled.

  She kept her face forward, wishing there was some sort of cool breeze stirring instead of these waves of heat that were assaulting her.

  “Has Aunt Beth been coaching you?” she asked nonchalantly.

  He shook his head as if he and Beth hadn’t had a little heart-to-heart close to midnight last night. “Only about where we should go in the city. Why?”

  She lifted a single shoulder. “No reason. That just didn’t sound like anything you’d say on your own, that’s all.”

  The hot wind stirred a few tendrils loose about her face. He lightly tucked in one strand, then, at her raised brow, backed away. He wondered how much longer he was going to have to endure this penance.

  “Maybe I’ve learned a few things since you walked out on me.”

  She hated the way that sounded, hated the way that made her seem. It was supposed to have been a mutual dissolution. “I didn’t walk out on you.”

  “Okay,” he said agreeably. “Run out, then.” Which, in his opinion, was more like the truth. She’d run out, all right. Run out wearing high heels that she’d figuratively used to stomp all over his heart.

  She shifted over to a scant bit of shade from an overhang.

  “I didn’t do that, either,” she insisted firmly. “It was a mutual agreement.”

  She had been very careful to make it seem as if he’d wanted it to be over, too, although she suspected in his case wounded pride had prompted it.

  That was a load of horse manure, Matt thought, and she knew it. “For it to be mutual, both of us had to be of like mind. As I recall—”

  She looked at him sharply. “Rule Number Two.”

  Matt sighed. He was going to have to work at holding on to his temper. There wasn’t anything to be gained by forcing the issue. Not yet.

  “Right.”

  Walking by her, he approached a telescope and dug into his pocket, looking for a dollar’s worth of change. He dropped the coins in the slot. A clink announced that the shield from the viewfinder had been lifted. Bending over, he looked through it.

  “There’s a pigeon walking around on the roof down there,” he observed, then glanced up at Rose. She’d moved closer to him, he noticed. “Hardly seems worth it, paying a dollar to see a pigeon when I could see them wandering through the garbage on the street for free.”

  She inclined her head, as if seeing the merit in his argument. “But this is a pigeon as seen from the observation deck of the Empire State Building.” A smile entered her eyes as she regarded him. There were parts of him that were so like a boy, she thought. “It’s all in your perspective.”


  His eyes held hers for a moment. “Yes, I guess it is.”

  Flustered, Rose stubbornly attributed the feeling more to a hormonal imbalance than what Matt was saying to her.

  Or the way he was looking at her.

  That, and the heat, which was becoming utterly unbearable. Though she knew it was useless, she began to fan herself with the information booklet Matt had picked up.

  The light clothes she had on were sticking to her as if she’d bathed in honey. The sun was beating down unmercifully and at this height, it felt as if it was waging a personal vendetta against her. She looked at Matt.

  “Maybe we’d better find something a little cooler to do.”

  “Not possible,” he replied, backing away from the telescope. He looked down at her face. “Not while I’m anywhere near you.”

  Damn, why did he have to say such nice things? It was hard enough not to want him when he kept his mouth shut, but when he talked like that….

  “Matt—”

  He raised a brow. “Going to make up a new rule? Because I didn’t break one or two. I didn’t touch you and I didn’t say anything about you leaving me.”

  The look in his eyes raked across her heart. “Maybe this was a bad idea.” Turning on her heel, she began to march toward the exit and the elevators just beyond.

  Moving quickly, Matt managed to get in front of her. He raised his hands as he did so.

  “Look, Ma, no hands.” And then he sobered just a little. “Sorry, Rose, I’ll behave.” He looked at her soulfully. “I promise.”

  Rose sighed, knowing she was crazy for doing this. But she couldn’t seem to help herself, not where Matt was concerned. He’d be gone again soon enough, she thought. One way or another.

  “All right,” she conceded. “Let’s go see St. Patrick’s Cathedral.” He’d have to be on his best behavior there, she reasoned.

  Because of near-traffic gridlock and the fact that she didn’t relish the thought of going underground to the subways on a day like today, they walked from the Empire State Building on 34th Street to St. Patrick’s Cathedral on Fifth Avenue and 50th Street.

  Ordinarily, it wouldn’t have been that much of a walk for Rose. She’d done it lots of times handily. But she’d never been in the early stages of pregnancy before, and the merciless heat was working against her. It had rained a little in the middle of the night and rather than offer relief, it had added to the oppressive atmosphere, creating more humidity.

  It was getting harder and harder for her to concentrate or even to place one foot in front of the other. Rose felt as if she’d walked into a fog.

  On the way to the cathedral, she’d used the excuse of window-shopping to stop and subtly catch her breath, hoping that her heart would stop beating like a lost hummingbird searching for a perch.

  By the time they arrived at the cathedral, she could have wept. It felt as if she’d reached sanctuary. The elegant edifice embraced her with its coolness, thanks to a powerful air-conditioning system. As she moved slowly through the main portion with its side altars, stained-glass and celebrated statues, she silently thanked God for the opportunity to regain her bearings.

  Being inside the majestic church touched off a sadness within her. There’d been a time when she’d dreamed about getting married, about a big church wedding with all the trimmings. But time had slipped by and there had been no one who moved her heart.

  Until Matt.

  She glanced at him covertly as he stood in front of one of the side altars, reading the description of the saint portrayed there. And now that she’d lost her heart, she was still no closer to that huge church wedding than she was years ago when she’d only fantasized about it.

  Eventually, it was time to leave. Refreshed though she felt, the moment they stepped outside, the hot air assaulted Rose like a fireball that had been lobbed directly at her. As if in a trance, she clutched the banister and slowly made her way down the steps until she reached the street.

  She felt as if she’d been through a wringer. The air was almost tangible and she felt its weight on every inch of her body. Reaching blindly, she grabbed Matt’s arm, afraid that her knees were going to buckle.

  “Breaking Rule Number One? Oh, I forgot. You can’t break it, only I can.” When he looked at her, his joking tone evaporated the way the hot moisture in the air refused to. “Rose, are you all right?” Her cheeks were so flushed, she looked as if she’d liberally smeared blush on them.

  She could make out his voice, but it was echoing in her brain.

  “I’m…fine. Maybe…we should go somewhere for…something cold to…drink.”

  The words dribbled from her lips as she struggled to keep the world in focus, but it insisted on winking in and out like a light show.

  The next moment the lights disappeared, as did the bones in her legs.

  “Rose!”

  Lunging, Matt caught her just as her body went limp. Scooping her into his arms, his heart pounding, he was momentarily lost as to his next move. Did he take her to the hospital? Bend with her right here and lay her on the sidewalk until she came to?

  And then someone placed a hand gently on his arm.

  Jerking around to look behind him, he saw an older, petite woman dressed in a summery blue skirt, blue vest and white blouse. She was wearing a short blue veil that hid part of her hair, but allowed a shock of white to peer out. She looked at him solicitously with bright, intelligent blue eyes.

  “Is she all right?”

  “I don’t know,” Matt replied. “She just suddenly passed out.”

  “Perhaps it’s the heat. Why don’t you bring her inside for a moment?” the woman coaxed. “I’m Sister Mary Katherine. I’m sure Father Malkowski won’t mind if you bring her into the office to rest a bit.”

  Turning, the nun led the way back up the stairs. Matt followed, surprised at how many people had just continued on their way, shifting curious glances at him but not stopping. He was grateful that the nun had come along when she had.

  Sister Mary Katherine led him to a small office. There was a well-worn desk in the room, shelves stuffed with books lining two of the walls and a creased burgundy leather sofa in the corner against a third. The sofa faced the desk and a large window that looked into a side yard.

  “Place her there,” the nun urged.

  As he made to comply, Sister Mary Katherine stepped into what turned out to be a tiny bathroom. Matt could hear water running. He brushed Rose’s hair from her forehead and took her hand. Her eyes were still shut. Nervous, he felt for a pulse.

  “Was she feeling ill?” the nun asked, coming back into the room.

  “Not that she mentioned.” Feeling completely inept, he rubbed Rose’s hands. Her face continued to look flushed.

  Leaning over Rose, Sister Mary Katherine placed a cold, wet cloth on her forehead. “Is she by any chance pregnant?”

  “No,” Matt responded immediately. And then he paused. The thought had never occurred to him. “That is…No,” he concluded again.

  Rose would have told him if she were pregnant.

  Wouldn’t she?

  Unsure, he looked down at the woman he had involuntarily lost his heart to. The woman who had turned his world completely upside down while never asking him for a thing.

  The nun beside him was nodding. “Then it’s probably this ungodly weather—you’ll pardon the pun,” she added with a twinkle in her eye. “That’s one of the reasons we keep so many smelling salts on hand.” She indicated the small capsule she was holding in her palm. “More than one light-headed visitor has found herself suddenly communing with the floor.”

  She laid a hand on Matt’s shoulder. “I’m sure your young lady will be just fine. Hold her still now. We don’t want her falling off the sofa and adding to her troubles.” Waiting until Matt placed his hands on Rose’s shoulders, Sister Mary Katherine broke open the capsule beneath Rose’s nose.

  An acrid smell immediately assaulted her nose. Rose twisted and turned, trying to get away f
rom the pungent odor. A small moan escaped her lips. She jerked suddenly and would have bolted upright if someone hadn’t been restraining her.

  Rose’s eyes were watery as she blinked, trying to focus on her surroundings. The last thing she remembered was standing outside of St. Patrick’s, trying to get the world to stand still.

  “What…what happened?”

  Relief washed over him. For now, Matt packed away the sister’s innocent question. The idea was absurd, but it nagged at him anyway. Still, it would keep.

  “You fainted.”

  She’d never fainted before in her life. That was for weaklings, not her. “No, I didn’t,” Rose protested incredulously.

  “Gave your young man here quite a scare,” Sister Mary Katherine told her.

  Stunned, she stared at Matt. “You brought me back into the church?”

  “Coolest place there is right now,” the nun told her. “I’m Sister Mary Katherine and you’re welcome to remain here as long as you like. Or I could hail a cab for you if there’s somewhere you’d rather go.”

  “No, that won’t be necessary. I’m fine,” Rose assured her, trying to sit up. The only problem was, Matt was still holding her in place. “Matt, let go of my shoulders. I’m fine.”

  He pulled back his hands. “Right. Rule One.”

  She heard the slightly bitter edge to his tone. “No, not Rule Number One. Just a request.” She bit her lower lip, still feeling woozy. “I really fainted?”

  “Dropped like a stone.” He saw her glance down at herself. Probably looking for any bruises that might be beginning to form. “I caught you before you had a chance to hit the ground.”

  She looked at him ruefully. “I guess I should thank you for breaking a rule.”

  The flush was receding from her cheeks. She was starting to look like her normal self. “Only if you want to.”

  Sister Mary Katherine folded her hands in front of herself, glad that she wasn’t needed any longer. “Well, if you young people will please excuse me, I do have errands to run.”

  “We’ll be on our way,” Rose told her, rising. Her legs felt a little wobbly as she stood, but at least they held her. “And thank you.”