Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right

by Brenda Hampton

  He stood and placed his cap on his head. “Can’t help it, partna. I ride with you all day, and when she works your nerves, she works mine too. Now, I’m hungry. Before hitting the streets, can we get some breakfast or do you want to stop at Krispy Kreme?”

  “Fuck a donut, man. I need some for-real breakfast. Cyd ain’t cooking shit for me at home and a brotha getting real sick and tired of not having home-cooked meals.”

  Miguel chuckled and we headed for my police car. He’d only been my partner for less than a year, but he was pretty cool to work with. Not only that, but we had a lot in common. He was thirty-four and so was I. He loved his job and so did I. We both loved to workout and pretty women were our weakness. Miguel wasn’t married, though. He flirted a lot and never talked about settling down with anyone. Wherever we rode together, needless to say, we attracted much attention. He had this Shemar Moore thing going on, and some of the ladies swore I was Blair Underwood’s brother. Niggas hated to see us coming, but that’s because we were two good-looking brothers with street power and authority. Authority that could be used any way we wanted it to be.

  Breakfast at Denny’s wasn’t bad. Once we got a domestic violence call that was only a few blocks away, we rushed to finish. We’d been to the apartment complex before and knew exactly where the problem was coming from. Truthfully, the last time Miguel and me had to go and settle things down, he wound up fucking the “battered” chick later on that night. I told him to be careful, but he assured me that sex between them had only happened once.

  The moment we pulled up, we could hear much chaos going on inside. Jackie was yelling at the top of her lungs, and it sounded as glass was being broken. Miguel knocked hard on the door and yelled for someone to open it. When she did, she stepped away from the door so we could come in.

  “What’s the problem here?” Miguel asked, as he could see Jackie tearfully standing by the door. She had a bruise underneath her right eye, and her hair sat wildly on her head.

  “I want him out of here, Miguel. I’m so sick and tired of him putting his hands on me.” She smacked tears away from her face and mean mugged her boyfriend who stood in the kitchen’s doorway.

  “Man, why you can’t keep your hands off women?” Miguel asked, as he slowly walked up to him.

  He darted his finger at Jackie. “She…that bitch the one who started it! Look, she cut me right here on my arm. I have every right to defend myself, don’t I?”

  “Let me see your arm,” Miguel calmly said, and then reached for it. He held Jackie’s boyfriend’s arm, looked at the deep, bloody cut, and then twisted his arm behind his back.

  “Damn,” the boyfriend yelled, and then dropped to his knees. “You hurtin’ my fuckin’ arm!”

  “Am I?” Miguel replied then kneed him in the stomach. He attempted to get up and attack Miguel, but that’s when I rushed over to help. I gripped the back of his neck and pressed his head hard on the floor to keep it still. Miguel handcuffed him and read him his rights. After he lifted him from the floor, Miguel searched his pockets and shoved him in my direction.

  “Isaac, take this bastard to the police car. I’m gon’ stay and talk to the young lady to see what happened.”

  I escorted him out to the car and waited on Miguel as he stood near the doorway, talking to Jackie. They both smiled, and when she reached out to give him a hug, the nigga in the back got jealous.

  “Ain’t that a bitch! What the fuck she huggin’ on him for?”

  I reached for my Juicy Fruit gum and observed Miguel slightly close the door so we couldn’t see.

  “Bro, I guess this is what happens when you use your woman for a punching bag. When you don’t handle your business the correct way, there is always another motherfucker who will handle it for you.”

  I laughed at the fool who couldn’t keep his eyes off the door. He looked pissed, until Miguel opened the door and jogged down the steps. Appearing happy-go-lucky, he got into the car. As I drove off, he turned to address the brother in the back.

  “This time, I will make sure that you stay in jail for a long time. I got other shit to handle and my partner and me ain’t got time to keep running to your house cause you can’t control your woman without hitting on her.”

  “Man, fuck you! I told you that bitch hit me first! If I go to jail for defending myself, then so be it! I ain’t got nothin’ to lose.”

  “Yeah you do. Your teeth,” Miguel said, then lifted his fist to punch the nigga in his mouth. Blood gushed down his chin as Miguel used the niggas white T-shirt to wipe blood from his knuckles. “Don’t speak, cause every night that you stay in jail, I’m gon’ go over to your house and fuck the shit out of your woman. So, when you lying on that hard ass cot, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about what you should or should not have done to her, be sure to think of how well her pussy locks on my dick.”

  The brotha didn’t have much else to say. He turned his head and gazed out of the window, as if Miguel’s words weren’t eating him up on the inside.

  We were almost at the police station, before we pulled up to the traffic light on Washington and Tucker. I looked over at a black Cadillac Escalade with two niggas inside. The loud system in the car caused their vehicle to vibrate, as well as ours.

  “Man, yell for them to turn that shit down,” Miguel said with a twisted face. It was no secret that he had a violent temper. “It don’t make no sense for mothefuckers to be riding around with music up that loud.”

  I lowered my window, yelling out of it. Of course, they didn’t hear me, so I blew the horn. When the light turned green, they sped off, but had to stop at the next light because it was red. I drove up as close as I could, nearly swiping the side of the Escalade. Needless to say, they didn’t have no problem seeing me this time. The man on the passenger’s side head snapped to the side and his forehead was lined with wrinkles. He lowered the window and narrowed his hooded eyes.

  “What’s up, my nigga?” he hissed and sucked his teeth.

  “What’s up is, I’m not your nigga and you need to turn that loud ass music down.”

  He reached for the knob and lowered the volume. “Is that cool enough for ya, off-i-sah,” he asked, sarcastically.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know yet, but I’m gon’ follow y’all for a little while to make sure. If the music goes back up, I’ll arrest the both of you for disturbing the peace. We both know that if I have to pull your vehicle over, disturbing the peace might not be the only charges that apply.”

  He smiled and displayed his grille. “Are you insinuatin’ somethin’, off-i-sah? Me and my friend here are hard workin’ citizens who…”

  “Nigga, save that shit for a rainy day. Move that piece of junk you’re driving in another direction and don’t let me creep up on you again.”

  The passenger gave me a hard stare before rolling up the window. Then the driver sped off. This was the norm every day, and many of those fools did what we said because they didn’t want to go to jail.

  After Miguel booked Jackie’s boyfriend, we hit the streets again. I’d thought about calling to see how Cydney’s special day was going, and when Miguel went inside of the liquor store to get us some sodas, gum and chips, I called her at home. She didn’t answer, so I tried her at work. Her secretary answered, and after conversing with her about a favor I wanted her to take care of for me, she transferred the call to Cydney.

  “I thought you weren’t going in today,” I said.

  “Oh, I had so many other options, but since we’re so broke, making money was the priority.”

  “It always is the priority, but by the sound of your voice, I guess you’re still angry with me for forgetting about our anniversary.”

  “What anniversary, Isaac? Whose anniversary are you talking about? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Alright, Cyd. I got your point, but I just called to see how you were doing today. Like I said earlier, I thought you’d maybe like to have dinner, catch a movie, and indulge into some of t
hat hot and heavy sex we used to have.”

  She snickered. “Oh, that sounds so lovely, Isaac. Honestly, before I open up my legs to you, I’d rather go somewhere and walk…walk a dog. Save the sex for your whores you’ve been giving it to. I’m not interested anymore.”

  “Damn, I guess you’re right. But what I don’t understand, Cydney, is if you hate me that much, then why don’t you just divorce me? Lately, your word choices have been kind of harsh—wouldn’t you say?”

  “And they’re going to get harsher, if you continue to criticize me about my weight. I weigh one hundred and seventy five pounds. You act as if I weigh a ton.”

  “You’re breaking my heart, Cydney. Not only that, but you’ll break my back if you continue to pick up more weight. You know darn well that you need to add five or ten more pounds to your calculations, woman. Stop playing.”

  I was only kidding, but she hung up on me. I called back and her secretary told me to hold again. When Cydney picked up, I could tell she was fuming.

  “What are you so angry about?” I said. “I was only playing with you. What? I can’t play with you anymore?”

  “Not about my weight, Isaac. I don’t think your jokes are funny and you need to appreciate the woman that you have.”

  “I do appreciate you,” I said, taking the soda from Miguel’s hand, as he got in the car. “I appreciate you a lot, but I warned you. Whenever you disrespect me, you’ll get the same in return.”

  “Why must you always go there with the weight thing? You know how much it hurts my feelings, but you continue to throw it up in my face.”

  “Look, I’m sorry. Yes, you’ve picked up weight, but you still look good. I never said that you didn’t look good, did I?” Cydney didn’t answer. “Fine, but I gotta get back to work. Can we spend some time together later or will you be walking your dog?”

  “If I could walk you, I would. However, I think I’ll pass on your invitation. Maybe some other time.”

  “Maybe so,” I said, and then hung up.

  Miguel was working his chips, while mumbling something.

  “What were you saying?” I asked.

  He swallowed. “I asked who you were talking to, your Wifey?”

  “Yeah, that was my Wifey. I was trying to squeeze in some time with her today, since it’s our anniversary.”

  “Well, congrats, man. Why you ain’t say nothing earlier? I would have gotten you a gift or something.”

  “No need,” I said, driving off. “You know just as well as I do that my marriage stinks. Cyd’s been doing her thing and I’ve been doing mine too.”

  “If that’s the case, then why don’t y’all just get a divorce? From what I see, y’all both act like y’all don’t even like each other.”

  “I know, man, it’s crazy. At times, I hate her, but then I hate to love her. I’ve thought about divorcing her, but I’ve also imagined my life without her. It’s a scary feeling, and I don’t think I’m ready to be alone.”

  “No offense, but all these bitches you’ve been fucking around with and you’re afraid of being alone? Shit, they wouldn’t let your ass be alone, Isaac.”

  “Being with Cydney and being with them is a different thing. None of them can measure up. She has a decent job, she’s smart, sex is off the chain, and…and I still haven’t found a woman who can throw down in the kitchen like she does. And even though she hasn’t cooked for me in quite some time, I miss the days of being served breakfast in bed.”

  Thinking of Cyd, I smiled in deep thought. When my phone rang, I didn’t recognize the number, but answered.

  “Officer Conley speaking,” I said.

  “I knew your last name wasn’t Feelgood,” she said. “But I still hope you’ll be able to live up to my expectations.”

  I smiled, knowing that it was the chick from earlier. “Avena, right?”

  “Of course. Were you expecting someone else to call you?”

  “Not really, and I was waiting for your call. So, when are we going to hook up?”

  “I’m not sure. You tell me. I saw the ring on your finger, not on mine.”

  I lifted my hand and looked at my wedding band in deep thought again. Cydney didn’t want to spend time with me, so Avena had to do.

  “Where do you live?” I asked.

  As she gave me her address, I said it out loudly so Miguel could write it down for me. Afterward, I told her I’d see her around nine. We ended the call and Miguel held the paper in front of his face.

  “I know this chick,” he said. “The address, her name and…let me see her phone number.”

  I handed Miguel my phone and he looked at her number. “Avena…Avenaaaaa,” he said, and then snapped his fingers. “Dark skinned, pretty round seductive eyes, short hair and fine as hell!”

  “So, you know her?”

  “You damn right I do. Fucked her about three months ago. She was at the nightclub where I work security at. I followed her home and got the shock of my life.”

  “What happened?”

  “Have you seen her ass…her body? Damn, her body!” Miguel pounded his fist on the dashboard.

  I laughed. “Calm down, fool. I saw some of it. From what I could see, it looked workable.”

  “Aw, man, baby-girl got it going on.”

  ‘Then, why were you shocked?”

  Miguel shook his head then pounded his fist on the dashboard again. “All of that and…and she wasn’t worth two-cents in the bedroom. I left that day and wanted to kick my own ass for wasting time.” He raised his hand and counted down on his fingers. “She was stiff, she couldn’t kiss, she knew nothing about foreplay, and the dick sucking was pathetic! Please, don’t say that I didn’t warn you. It was one of the worst experiences in my life. The tragedy of that night still haunts me.”

  “Damn, man, say it ain’t so. Maybe you were her first or something.”

  “No way. I could tell she’d been tampered with, but she hadn’t learned a damn thing from the motherfuckers who hit it before me.”

  “I just can’t believe it was that bad, Miguel. I’ve been with very few women who didn’t know how to use what they had, and if they didn’t, I had no problem showing them how to. Maybe you didn’t put in the necessary work on your part either.”

  Miguel reached for his chips. “Isaac, handle your business. Again, don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”

  Around eight o’clock, Miguel and I headed back to the station to shut it down for the evening. It had been a busy and chaotic day, as we made seven arrests in the city of St. Louis. I changed clothes, and since I didn’t want to drive my police car to Avena’s house, I drove my white Dodge Ram truck with major horsepower that was already parked on the lot. Miguel kept on warning me about tonight, and I started to change my mind and go see Laquinta like I was supposed to do. Since she kept bugging the hell out of me, I changed my mind. Earlier, I’d already caught gripe from Cydney. I didn’t feel like hearing it from no one else.

  It was five minutes to nine, and since I was low on condoms, I stopped at Walgreen’s to purchase some. While inside, I got more condoms, some bottled water and a stick of Juicy Fruit gum. I then stopped to chat with a security guard on duty that I knew. Not wanting to appear anxious to see Avena, I talked to him for about thirty minutes, and then made my way over to her place. I was nearly forty minutes late, but regardless, something was bugging the hell out of me. It was my anniversary. I wanted to be with my wife. But lately, we’d been arguing and disagreeing so much that a part of me seriously needed some peace. With Avena, I figured I could probably get it. No arguing, no disrespect, no questions and straight to business. I purposely ignored Avena’s two previous phone calls, which implied she was waiting for me. Casually dressed in my jeans, Nike tennis shoes and tan V-neck T-shirt, I went to her door and knocked. Without asking who I was, she pulled the door open and smiled.

  “I thought you’d never get here,” she said.

  I stepped inside and closed the door behind me. She sauntered into the
living room and I followed closely behind, observing her heart-shaped ass Miguel told me about. As I listened to her end a phone call, I thought about what Miguel had said. No doubt, her body was in tact. She wore a yellow, strapless halter that stretched across her breasts and showed her nicely cut midriff. Her blue jeans were low and were held up by a leather belt. She noticed me admiring her, so she hurried to end the call.

  “Sorry about that,” she said, moving her short bangs away from her face. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

  I held up the brown bag in my hand. “No thanks. I have bottled water in here. I got you one too.”

  She walked up to me and took the bag from my hand. After placing it on the coffee table, she stood in front of me. Her hands went up my shirt and she rubbed them against my abs. While massaging my buffed chest, she looked up at me.

  “Oooo, solid as a rock, but smooth. I have nothing but good things to say about a man who takes care of his body in such a way.”

  I lifted my hand to pull down her halter. It rolled down in the back, and then in the front. Her perky chocolate breasts stood at attention. I reached out to squeeze them in my hands. My thumbs manipulated her hardened nipples and I quickly brought the tip of my wet tongue to them. I held her closer to me, while licking around both of them. A deep arch formed in her back, causing her to drop her head back and moan. I stopped the action and reached for her belt.

  “Avena, I have nothing but good things to say about a woman who’s capable of making me as hard as I am now. I hope you plan on taking good care of me tonight, and whatever you do, please don’t waste my time.”

  She unzipped my jeans and reached for my hardness. As it swelled, she stroked it.

  “Nice,” she said as it grew to great heights. “Very, very nice, and I assure you that I will not waste your time.”

  Unfortunately, she did. After thirty minutes of tackling a wet pussy that did nothing for me, I jetted.

  CYDNEY

  I swear, that husband of mine wasn’t worth a damn. Little did he know, a while ago, he could have had any and everything he wanted from me. Our marriage started out fine, until he started using his job as an excuse to stay out late. I knew something was up with him, but it wasn’t confirmed until I actually saw, with my own eyes, him screwing another woman in the backseat of his truck. I did the norm and confronted him and her on the spot. He was shocked to see me, and all he could say was, “I’m sorry.”