by Amber Lynn
It was a little easier to not think about what Lisa looked like under her clothes as he sat in the hospital waiting room. Something about the smell of antiseptic and knowing there were sick people just down the hall was a real buzz kill.
The waiting room wasn’t as full as it had been the night before, and thankfully no one had anything negative to say about Lisa. There really hadn’t been any talking since Lisa and Ryan showed up. He couldn’t tell if there’d been lively conversation before they walked into the room, but the way everyone else’s eyes moved around told him they were just waiting for someone else in the group to say something.
The only word they’d gotten was that Jean was in with her husband and he’d been awake for about thirty minutes. After that information was shared, the clamming up had begun. The atmosphere reminded Ryan of walking into what had once been the opposing locker room for the first time.
The looks of distrust and hatred seemed to be pretty similar to what he thought he picked up in the waiting room. Lisa had given him a rundown of who was who before they got there. It wasn’t hard to figure out who was dating or married to who when the siblings weren’t all sitting next to each other.
No one seemed happy, and Ryan was pretty sure it wasn’t because they were sitting in a hospital. The televisions in the room were on, and it seemed like Melanie’s husband and one of Lisa’s aunts were the only ones who seemed to be interested in the game shows playing on them.
“Do you need some coffee or anything?” Ryan asked Lisa, tired of the awkward silence.
His arm was around Lisa as they sat in a pair of very uncomfortable chairs. Lisa’s head had been resting on his shoulder, but she sat up when he asked the question.
“I’m good, but if you need something, you don’t have to sit around here.”
They both kept their voices down, but they weren’t hiding the conversation from the others. Ryan wasn’t sure how long he was going to be able to take the atmosphere around them. He didn’t want the others to immediately dog pile their crap on Lisa, but he didn’t want to sit around all day just twiddling his thumbs either.
“I’m good too. I just thought maybe you could use a walk. I know we haven’t been here long, but I’ve fallen out of my usually routine lately and have missed a few morning jogs.”
Ryan tended to spend over and hour at the gym each day, so he had a little bit of energy pent up. Not being able to work out generally made him irritable, and he was hoping he didn’t eventually take that out on his future in-laws. They would more than likely deserve it, but it would make family gatherings a little rough.
“The hotel has a gym. You can head back there and catch up on what you’ve missed. I don’t think walking around the halls here will match one of your usual workouts.”
That was putting it lightly, unless the hospital staff had some heavy stuff for him to carry around. Maybe with a couple of air tanks in his arms and strapped to his back he could take the stairs from the bottom floor to the top about twenty times to feel his usual burn.
“I can wait until you can join me. I tend to find people staring at me when I’m at the gym, so I’d like you to watch me and see what attracts all the eyeballs.”
Lisa scoffed and smacked his thigh. “I’ve seen you without a top on. I don’t need to watch you working out to know why people stare at you. They’re probably too busy trying to count your abs.”
Laughing quietly, Ryan leaned down and kissed Lisa’s forehead. The smile on her face was the reason Ryan even bothered talking and trying to make a joke. The stuffiness of the room was bringing her down. Normally a hospital didn’t induce laughter, but he wanted to do what he could to keep a smile on her face.
“I always wear at least a tank top when I’m working out, so I don’t think they’re staring at my stomach.”
Lisa leaned over and kissed the cheek closest to her. “I suppose that’s good to hear, because otherwise I was going to insist you start wearing something to make it a little harder for people to undress you with their eyes.” She looked over to the doorway before she continued. When she looked back, her smile wasn’t gone, but it wasn’t quite as bright. “I was thinking about donating some blood. I assume there’s somewhere to do that here in the hospital. I don’t think Daddy needs any, but there may be someone else here who does. And just in case something happens, you know. I know we have the same blood type, so if he needs any, he’ll have it.”
A scoff from the other side of the room drew Ryan’s eyes briefly away from Lisa. He saw Olive shaking her head in what appeared to be disbelief. Ryan looked at the TVs in the room quickly, checking to see if someone had done something stupid on the game shows. All he saw was commercials, so he assumed her reaction was to something Lisa had said.
“Is there a problem?” Ryan asked. He tried to keep the slightly evil glare out of his eyes, but he knew he looked a little more scathing than nonchalant.
“There’s no problem. It’s just Lisa being Lisa. We’re all in here waiting to hear the latest news and she’s rubbing it in that she’s the only one of us capable of giving blood to Daddy.” Olive wouldn’t look at him while she spoke, so he didn’t get a clear view of what expression she had on her face. Her hand gestures as she waved them around almost in a dismissing fashion didn’t tell Ryan a lot either.
Ryan looked over to Lisa, curious what she thought of the statement. Her brow was furrowed and her head tilted slightly to the side, telling him she was trying to figure it out herself.
“I wasn’t rubbing anything in. I just feel helpless sitting here and I thought maybe I could do something about that.” Lisa sat forward so she could look around Ryan to see her sister. She looked nervous about something, so Ryan took the arm that was along the back of her chair and reached over to grab her hand. It was a little sweaty, which told him how nervous she was, because the room was a little chilly.
“Something only you can do. You’re his favorite for obvious reasons, but that doesn’t mean you have to rub it in.”
“What are you talking about?” Lisa was shaking her head.
Ryan didn’t know Lisa’s full life story, even though she claimed repeatedly that she’d basically told him everything about her. He did know she felt ostracized by everyone in her family. That being said, she loved them like there was no tomorrow, her dad specifically, because he tried to stay out of all the drama. Like her mother, he didn’t get in the way of it, but he didn’t stay in the room when it was going on.
“Like you don’t know. We’ve all known for years that you’re his only child. You don’t have to keep trying to pretend we’re one big happy family.” Melanie joining the conversation by adding her two cents didn’t clear things up in Ryan’s eyes, and judging by the continued confused look on Lisa’s face, she didn’t understand the statement any better than he did.
“Melanie,” Henry whispered harshly.
“Come on. It’s not like we’re kids anymore. It was fun keeping it to ourselves when we were little, but there’s no way she hasn’t figured it out on her own.” Ryan bristled at the underlying malice he heard in Melanie’s voice.
“What are you talking about?” Some of the color was draining out of Lisa’s face as she repeated her question.
“You don’t know,” Justin said, slightly in disbelief. “How in the world do you not know?”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to know, so maybe if you fill me in on that, I can figure out what you guys are talking about.” Lisa sat back and took a deep breath. From what was already said, Ryan knew her world was being rocked. He squeezed her hand tighter, letting her know he was there for her.
Glancing away from Lisa for a second, Ryan looked to the faces of people in the group who weren’t her siblings. He was curious what they thought about what was being said and whether they had any clue what was coming. The pity and the general need to look anywhere but in Lisa’s direction told Ryan that he and Lisa were the only people in the room not in on the big secret.
“Like Mel said, you
’re Dad’s only child,” Justin said. “When you were a toddler Dad got kicked by a horse he was trying to break in. He couldn’t have any more kids after that.”
Justin didn’t specify where their dad was kicked, but Ryan had a guess based on him not being able to have kids. A phantom pain in his groin made him squeeze his legs together slightly. Ryan hadn’t spent any time with horses, but he’d heard about the force behind their kicks.
“I don’t remember that,” Lisa’s voice sounded far away.
“That’s because your parents tried to shield you from it.” A soft voice said from a chair on the opposite side of the room. Ryan looked over to the aunt who had spoken. If he remembered right, it was Jean’s sister Mabel. “How it’s been kept a secret from you all these years is downright a miracle. Especially with all them knowing about it.”
Mabel pointed over to the side of the room Lisa’s brothers and sisters had claimed. Ryan wanted more explanation, but he left the questions to Lisa to ask.
“I don’t understand. I don’t remember the accident, but I remember Mom being pregnant.”
There were a lot of ways her mother could’ve got pregnant, but Ryan imagined they hadn’t saved some of her dad’s swimmers and planted them later. The other kids seemed pretty adamant there wasn’t a biological tie. He wasn’t usually a fan of drama, but he realized he’d stepped into it big time.
Someone cleared their throat to talk, but Mabel was quick to cut the conversation off. “What happened before and after the accident is Jean and Paul’s story to tell. You kids may know it, but it’s only right that your sister hears it from them.”
Ryan heard rapid breathing coming from his right, causing him to look over at Lisa. His mind was going about a mile a minute trying to figure out all the things that hadn’t been said, so he could only imagine what Lisa was thinking.
“I think I need to get a little air,” Lisa got out between breaths.
Ryan was worried about her hyperventilating, so he quickly got to his feet, bringing Lisa with him. “I’ll go with you. Maybe we can stop and get you some water or something.”
He would’ve suggested alcohol of some sort, but he didn’t think it was the best idea and he was afraid Lisa would take him up on the offer. Ryan put his hand on Lisa’s chest, hoping a firm hand would keep her breathing in check.
Lisa didn’t say anything as Ryan led her out of the waiting room and as far away as he could from the people who had just turned her world upside down. Her siblings didn’t seem to hold anything back, so he was shocked that they’d been able to keep the secret for so long. Of course it seemed like they thought Lisa already knew. If there was any question whether she did, her wobbly walking next to him erased it.
They made it outside the main hospital entrance, where Lisa started gulping in volumes of air. Ryan took her over to a bench and got her to sit down. He wasn’t sure if standing or sitting was better, but he figured being closer to the ground if she fainted was the way to go. He hoped in that situation he’d be fast enough to catch her, but he didn’t want to take any chances.
“Talk to me. What’s going through your head, Lisa?” What Ryan thought about the events really didn’t matter.
He thought things were pretty messed up, especially how things went down in a public place, but there was a part of him that was happy Lisa would maybe have some answers to why she felt so out of place within her family. The revelation didn’t excuse her siblings from bring jerks, nothing excused that.
“I don’t know,” Lisa said. When she looked over, Ryan saw she was scared and close to tears. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have been lied to all your life.
“There’s got to be something going on. It sounds like your siblings are maybe half-siblings and your family for some reason didn’t think it was important to tell you that. Does that make you angry or just sad?”
Ryan thought about adding happy into the list of emotions. There had to be some sort of relief that it wasn’t really her fault her siblings seemed out to get her. It was probably too early for Lisa to think along those lines, though. She didn’t seem to have the full story yet.
“I don’t know what to feel, Ryan. A big part of me thinks maybe I didn’t wake up this morning and it’s all a dream. It has to be a dream, right? There’s no way what they’re saying is true.”
“It kind of makes sense.” Sitting from the outside looking in, Ryan could see that, but he understood why Lisa couldn’t. She’d spent almost thirty years thinking one thing. It wasn’t easy to flip the switch in another direction.
“I know with all the comments you’ve heard it probably does, but I never would’ve imagined that was the reason they were holding a grudge against me.”
Ryan shook his head and pulled Lisa in close to him. “It’s not just the comments. When I first saw your family, I was surprised they all looked more alike than you did with any of them. You all share your mother’s eyes, but they have her hair and pale complexion. I know not all siblings look alike, but I did notice the differences.”
There was also the fact that they didn’t have a creative bone in their bodies and had the temperament of a pack of wolves. Lisa was so kind that it was hard to believe she’d even grown up in the environment Ryan had observed.
“Not to mention the fact that they’re all skinny and lean, whereas I’m more like a large marshmallow.”
“You look healthy. That youngest sister of yours looks like she hasn’t ever seen a cheeseburger before. You guys grew up on a farm. Did your mom not cook steak and potatoes every night?”
“Not every night, but more often than not that was what I put on the table.”
Ryan was so focused on Lisa that he didn’t see her mom join them. He looked up to see the older woman with concern etched in her face. He looked back at Lisa to see if she’d give him any direction of what she wanted to do, but Lisa’s head was tucked into his chest.
“I’m guessing you guys have some things you need to talk about, so if you want me to take a walk, I will.” He would only leave if Lisa asked him to. He really didn’t care whether Jean wanted to have a private conversation.
“If you don’t have somewhere you’d rather be, I’d prefer if you stayed with me. It sounds like you’re one of the only people I know who hasn’t lied to me.”
“I never lied to you, Lisa. Look, we need to talk about this, but this really isn’t the right place. If you want to talk about it now, we can head to the farm or your hotel, but I really don’t want to talk about it here.”
“Is Dad still awake?” Lisa asked, ignoring the offer at least temporarily.
“I believe he is. When I left he was kicking up a storm about being stuck with tubes coming out of his arms.”
Ryan looked over to Jean, since he couldn’t see Lisa’s face. A slight smile curled up the edges of her lips. Ryan knew he wasn’t going to get answers anytime soon, which was fine. No matter what had happened, Lisa wanted to see her father. That’s what they came for, so that was what they’d do.
Chapter Fourteen
Ryan had led Lisa back up to the floor her father was on, but they wouldn’t let him go back with her when she saw her dad. Lisa thought about waiting until Ryan could be by her side, but she wanted to see with her own eyes that her father was okay. Before she walked into his room, she stood outside the door looking in the small window into the room.
The man she saw lying on the bed didn’t look like her father. He was pale, like he hadn’t spent every day of his life out in the fields. It could’ve been the lighting in the room or the pane of glass she was looking through, but his skin almost looked blue. His other features were probably what they’d always been, but seeing him there made her think he was a stranger.
Lisa pushed open the door slightly, halfway hoping her father had fallen back asleep. As far as she knew, no one else had come back to visit him after her mother had left, so he didn’t know about the big secret coming out. Lisa was still in shock about it, but more t
han anything she felt sorry that Ryan had dropped everything to come deal with her drama. She knew she should’ve felt more than that, but focusing on him helped keep her stuff together.
“There you are. Your mom told me you’d flown in, but I told her that was crazy. You have bigger and better things to be doing than visiting me in the hospital.”
Lisa chuckled at the strained words. She could’ve taken their meaning sarcastically, but that wasn’t who her dad was. He was a good man, and even though things weren’t what Lisa always thought they were, he was the man who held her family together.
“I couldn’t get on a plane fast enough to get here. How are you feeling, Daddy?” The truthful answer to the question would’ve made Lisa cry, but she knew he wouldn’t come right out and tell her how bad he felt.
“I can’t say I’m feeling great, but nothing really hurts. What about you? Your mom told me you brought a friend home with you. Things serious there?”
Lisa hadn’t got any farther than stepping inside the door, so she took the moments she thought about an answer to his question to make her way over to one of the chairs next to the bed. Proximity didn’t help her dad look more recognizable, but she was able to see his brown eyes staring at her, and Lisa would know them anywhere.
Ryan had mentioned he thought her eyes matched her mom’s and her brothers’ and sisters’, but he hadn’t met her daddy yet. Who she was as a person, both looks and on the inside, came straight from her father.
“I think they might be.” Lisa whispered, answering the question about whether things between her and Ryan were serious. “I can’t figure out why he likes me, or has even come to that conclusion, since we haven’t known each other long.”
Lisa wasn’t sure how Ryan’s feeling would end up after having to deal with her family issues. She didn’t see him as the kind of guy who caught wind of trouble and ran, but there was still a part of her that was trying to wall up her heart a little for the inevitable.
“Time doesn’t really make a difference when it comes to matters of the heart, Angel.”
