How had the subject become me and Adam? I would much rather have been discussing Mark’s strange behavior than my own.
“I was annoyed because…” I started.
But I couldn’t finish. She was right. It was completely irrational of me to get so bent out of shape over Adam’s revolving door of a love life.
“I was just upset with him for being such a player,” I said. “I’m sick of watching him use girls and leave them heartbroken. But I’m glad he hooked up with Ashley last night.”
Victoria’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at my sudden declaration.
“You are?”
“Yes, because now I know that the kiss didn’t mean anything to him either. So we’re good. We can just go back to normal like nothing happened. That’s exactly what I want.”
Victoria didn’t look convinced but she nodded in agreement. “Me too,” she said. “I just want things to go back to normal for all of us.”
“Well that’s not going to happen if we’re hiding out at the mall,” I said.
Victoria laughed and made a face. “You’re right. Let’s get this over with.”
Chapter Twenty
When we got back to the house, we found Mark on the beach so we changed into our swimsuits and joined him. It quickly became obvious that Victoria’s big plan for dealing with her uncomfortable situation with Mark was to smile a lot and act like nothing had happened. Mark seemed to be going along with it, gamely joining in with Victoria’s overly animated conversation. Maybe she was onto something.
There was still no sign of Adam.
Or Ashley, for that matter.
The only thing I could think was that they were locked away up in Adam’s room. And though I told Victoria I was no longer annoyed, I couldn’t help the sharp anger I felt towards Adam as the minutes ticked away and he was still nowhere to be found. It was the last full day the four of us had together, after all, the least he could do was tear himself away from his latest conquest for a few hours.
After a half hour or so of lying out on the beach and listening to Victoria and Mark’s overly friendly conversation, I ran inside to grab some more sunblock. I stopped in my tracks just inside the kitchen door.
There was Adam, feet up on table, relaxed as can be, eating a bag of chips.
“Hey,” he said, with a lopsided grin.
“Where have you been?” I asked.
His grin never faded and I was horrifyingly aware of the fact that I sounded like a shrew.
“Out,” he said. He held up a bag of sandwiches from the deli. “I brought lunch.”
I peeked in the bag and counted four sandwiches; he remembered all of our favorites.
“There are only four,” I said, my arms folded across my chest.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “So?”
I continued to glare, annoyance flaring up despite my best intentions. He was being intentionally dense.
“So?” I echoed. “What about Ashley? Isn’t she going to eat with us?”
“Uh…I don’t know,” he said. His brow was creased in confusion. “Do you want her to eat with us? I’ll give her a call if you want.” He sounded annoyingly amused with himself. “I didn’t know you two had gotten so close.”
“Forget it,” I sighed. I snatched the bag of sandwiches out of his hand and made a production of putting them away in the refrigerator.
“Something on your mind?” Adam asked. He was still leaning back in his chair, as casual as could be. As though he wasn’t even the slightest bit fazed by what had happened the night before. Like he didn’t even remember That Kiss.
And maybe he didn’t. It was probably one of many for him last night. Maybe he’d already forgotten about it.
That should make me feel better, I told myself. We could both just forget it and move on. I should be following his lead, not getting annoyed with him for not being more awkward about it. He was the one with all the experience with this kind of thing, after all.
“Eve?” he prodded.
“No,” I forced a smile. “Nothing at all.”
“O-kay,” he drawled. He kicked the seat next to his. “Want to join me?”
I shook my head. “No, thanks. I just came to grab some sunscreen,” I said, holding it up as evidence as though I were on trial. “Are you coming out?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll be out in a bit.”
“Great, I’ll see you out there.”
* * *
Victoria and Mark were pleased as punch to see Adam. The three of them talked and joked around like usual and I did my best not to let my bad mood affect the rest of the day. I followed my mother’s wise advice—if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
I spoke very little.
After a little while, we all went inside for a late lunch. “What happened to Ashley, anyways?” Victoria asked.
Adam looked confused. He looked back and forth between the two of us. “She’s probably left for home by now, I guess,” he said. “What’s with all the interest in Ashley today?”
Victoria shrugged. “I just thought she’d stick around this morning. She didn’t have to run out of here like that.”
“Run out of here?” he repeated. “What do you mean?”
“We saw her,” I said. I really wished my voice wasn’t quite so sharp but I couldn’t seem to control it. I swallowed the bite of sandwich I’d been chewing.
“This morning,” I clarified. “Victoria and I saw her coming out of your room.”
His eyes widened in surprise before he burst out laughing. “Is that what this is about?” he asked. He shook his head in amusement.
For a second I thought he was going to deny it. But then he said, “What’s the big deal? So we hooked up, it’s not like we’re getting married or something.”
He looked me right in the eyes and I swear for a minute I thought he was challenging me to say something. And while there were a million catty remarks just itching to come out of my mouth I managed to keep them to myself, reminding myself for the millionth time that he was not really my boyfriend and had not really cheated on me.
I turned around and headed inside.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I’ve gotten too much sun,” I said. “I’m gonna read in my room.”
I resurfaced a little while later and rejoined the others. I hadn’t actually comprehended a single word of my book up in my room. But I had managed to quell the anger I’d felt with Adam earlier and was ready to get back to normal.
We went for a walk down to a great seafood shack on the beach and sat outside with our fish tacos, basking in our final day of sunshine and sand.
Adam seemed more than happy to ignore The Kiss and any tension that had sprung up between us that morning.
If he could forget about it, so could I.
In our eagerness to put the previous evening behind us, Adam and I were even closer than usual, laughing and joking around with the sort of giddy abandon that can only come after a rift. Victoria and Mark had also seemed to settle into a comfortable, if slightly exaggerated, friendliness. The four of us were doing such a good job pretending that nothing was wrong, I was almost tempted to believe it.
On the way back from lunch, Adam decided we needed to go for one last dip in the ocean.
“But we have to get ready for tonight,” Victoria said.
Mark looked at his watch and raised an eyebrow. “Vic, the cruise is three hours away, how long do you really need to get ready?”
Victoria gave in reluctantly and all four of us stripped down to our swimsuits and dove in. The beach was crowded and it wasn’t long before we were joined by groups of our classmates, turning a quick dip into a group event, with people challenging each other to races and friends playfully splashing one another and diving under the waves.
I was having fun playing in the waves but tired quickly and swam out beyond the breakers to join Adam and a few of our friends from school.
The
water was deep. Adam could stand but I could only stay above water if I balanced on my tiptoes. Adam saw me struggling and reached out to pull me up against his side, where he held me so my head was above the water.
He was only wearing swim trunks and my bikini felt like two scraps of nothing between his warm body and mine.
I was vaguely aware of the others joking around but I couldn’t stop fixating on the feel of his body against mine.
My skin tingled whereever our flesh met and I was hot all over, despite the cool water.
Adam’s hands held me so tight it bordered on painful, but I wanted to get even closer. As if of their own accord, my arms wrapped around his neck, my legs intertwining with his underwater.
I felt like I was watching myself from a distance. A drugged, heady feeling had taken over my body and I was no longer in control.
Adam appeared to be under the same spell. His eyes remained fixed on the group of guys who were talking to him and every once in a while he managed to utter an appropriate response. But his eyes were glazed and I could hear his breathing grow heavy.
His arm tightened around me, trying to pull me even closer. But it was his hands that held me mesmerized, that had me feeling like I wanted to gasp for air.
One arm held me around my waist and his hand was firm and warm against my stomach while the other hand roamed under the water. His fingers skimmed over my arm, over my stomach, then down to my hip and thigh.
I fought the urge to wriggle under his touch. Not because I was uncomfortable, but because I wanted more.
I desperately wanted our classmates to disappear so we could continue this underwater exploration without any distractions.
I wondered if Adam felt the same way.
At that moment he turned his head and nuzzled his face against my neck. I felt and heard his harsh agonized breath and knew that he felt exactly the same way.
Some of the guys around us started heading back to shore. We were about to be alone.
My breath caught in my throat in nervous excitement. I knew that I could not stop whatever would happen next. I didn’t want to stop it.
“Eve! Adam!”
I heard Victoria yelling our names from shore and saw her gesturing animatedly to a non-existent watch.
“Guess we lost track of time,” Adam said. I barely recognized his voice it was so strained.
I nodded and swallowed.
The moment was over. The spell had been broken. Oh, I still felt the hot electricity coursing between us. But now I was suddenly aware that it was us—it was Adam and Eve—best friends for life. And we were touching each other in a way that was not at all friendly.
Panic set in and I disentangled myself from his side and threw myself into the water.
“I’ll race you to shore,” I shouted before diving under the waves.
I swam toward the beach as though I was being chased by a great white shark and never even turned back to see if Adam was following me.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Come on guys, you have to get ready!” Victoria called down the stairs. Mark and Adam were playing video games while Victoria and I showered and changed for the senior cruise, which was supposed to be the highlight and climax of the weeklong trip. It was the last chance to dress up and dance like fools with our classmates.
Rumor had it that the class president and her team had gone all out on tonight’s excursion. There were even rumors of a band playing and I just hoped beyond hope that it wasn’t Ryan’s band. I couldn’t believe how over him I was. It was amazing what a little clarity could do. If only it hadn’t taken me so long to see the truth that was right in front of my eyes.
“We’re coming!” I heard Adam shout.
Victoria rolled her eyes and I laughed. They’d been saying that for the last hour. “If they don’t get in the shower soon we’re never going to get out of here,” Victoria said.
“I’m ready,” Mark said, standing in the doorway. “We just have to wait for Adam.”
Victoria sighed in impatience, “I promised Alyssa I’d get there early to help set up.”
Adam poked his head into the room. “Why don’t you two go on ahead. Eve and I will follow you guys in a few minutes.”
Victoria looked like she was going to protest but Mark cut her off. “You don’t mind waiting?” I shook my head and tried to ignore the pitiful looks Victoria was sending my way.
“Okay then,” Victoria accepted her fate with good grace. “We’ll see you in a bit!” She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before darting out the door.
I was flipping through one of Victoria’s magazines when Adam came downstairs, his hair still wet from the shower. “All set!”
I was already heading towards the door. “Let’s go then.”
It was the perfect summer night. The air was warm and we could smell the ocean in the breeze. It wasn’t a long walk to the port where the boat was docked but we took our time. It was no night to rush.
“You know,” Adam said. “I’m glad that Victoria and Mark went on ahead. I was hoping we would have a chance to talk.”
This statement and the strangely serious tone he used brought instant panic. This was the conversation I thought I had successfully avoided…the one I thought we had, through our mutual avoidance, agreed not to have. He was breaking the unspoken agreement!
“I don’t think we have to talk about anything,” I said.
“Yeah, we do, Eve,” he said. He sounded more serious than I’d ever heard him before. “About last night…”
“Seriously, Adam, there’s nothing to say.”
“Would you just let me speak?” Adam said.
I blinked in shock at the raw emotion in his voice. “Okay,” I said. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Lindsay told me about you and Ryan.”
My jaw literally dropped. “W-what about me and Ryan?”
This was definitely not what I was expecting to talk about.
His jaw was clenched and I saw his nostrils flare. “I went after you last night. After... you know….”
The Kiss.
“I ran into Lindsay. She was crying. She said she’d seen you and Ryan kissing on the beach.”
Oh no.
“Adam, it’s not what you think.”
Why did I feel so guilty? And why was there so much hurt in Adam’s eyes. I couldn’t take it.
He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, his voice filled with resignation.
“It doesn’t?”
“No, you two should be together if that’s what you really want,” he said. “I - I can’t keep doing this anymore.”
He sounded sad and tired but I was too hurt myself to worry about him.
“Doing what?” I asked.
He didn’t answer right away, just looked away from me. For the first time I could remember I had absolutely no idea what was going on in his head and that terrified me.
“Are you... breaking up with me?” I asked.
I knew how ridiculous I sounded but I was too upset to really care. My voice was small and tight and…dear God, were those tears burning the back of my eyes?
“Eve,” he sighed. “How could I break up with you? You know this was never real.”
“I know, I just thought... I felt like...”
“What, Eve? What did you think? What did you feel?”
When I didn’t respond he rubbed his face wearily and I knew I’d missed my chance to speak. The moment was gone.
“Come on,” he said, heading toward the dock. “Let’s just get through tonight and then we can end this joke of a relationship,” he said.
I trailed along beside him, unsure of what to say or how to say it.
My heart was aching. It was begging me to say something, to stop him and make him understand.
But understand what? I didn’t even know myself.
The boat was strung with lights and soft music filled the air as our classmates filed on board. The classy atmosphere on t
he boat was only slightly marred by shrieks of laughter and high-pitched giggles as the girls oohed and aahed over each other’s dresses and the guys cracked jokes. Apparently there was only so much elegance we seniors could handle.
But the boat itself was the very picture of style and even the staff was decked out in black tie attire. It was quite possibly the most romantic setting I’d ever seen.
And my date pretty much hated me.
Oh, Adam kept up appearances—we were too far along in this little farce to stop now without thoroughly humiliating us both—so he held my hand as we made our way to the punch bowl and led me over to our table, where Mark and Victoria had already set up camp.
To everyone else aboard the ship, we were the epitome of a happy couple. But the usual effortless talk and easy jokes were missing. We were a hollow version of ourselves.
Even though he was standing right next to me as we joined rest of our class on the bow to watch the boat leave the shore, he felt like a million miles away. He might as well have been on that shore fading into the distance.
“You ready to eat?” He headed toward the dining area before I could reply.
I followed Adam back toward the cabin of the ship where our peers were already starting to line up at a buffet.
He had barely said two words to me since we’d boarded and it was starting to drive me crazy. He was looking at the crowd as though he was searching for someone and I couldn’t help myself. I snapped.
“I doubt she’s here, you might as well stop looking.”
He looked at me in surprise. And who could blame him, it wasn’t every day I morphed into a bitchy shrew in front of his eyes. A fabulously glamorous shrew in my heels and slinky dress perhaps, but a shrew nonetheless.
“What are you talking about?”
“Ashley,” I spit out. “Tickets sold out weeks ago, I highly doubt she managed get on board.”
He was staring at me like I had two heads.
“Why are you so hung up on Ashley?” he asked.
I gaped at him. “I’m not,” I said. “You’re the one who’s hung up on her.”
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