Senior Week Fling

by Maggie Dallen

  Adam cursed loudly and a group of girls parading by us glanced over and giggled.

  Guess spreading rumors of our “breakup” wasn’t going to be a problem.

  Tears stung the back of my eyes and I blinked them away. I’d never felt so helpless. Never in all the years that I’d known Adam had I been at a loss for words. But then, I’d never not known what he was thinking.

  I desperately wanted to make everything okay, to make him forgive me, to have everything be the way it had been up until the stupid lie changed everything.

  “I didn’t hook up with Ashley,” Adam said.

  I blinked up at him stupidly. I had not been expecting that.

  He looked so angry and so frustrated, I had no idea what to say. I’m sorry you didn’t get laid? I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

  “But I saw her...” I said.

  “She was wasted last night. I couldn’t let her go home like that so she slept in my room. I slept on the couch,” Adam bit out.

  A wave of relief that I couldn’t deny swept over me and I actually laughed. This was the wrong response.

  “You think that’s funny?” Adam demanded.

  I shook my head. “No... no,” I stressed.

  “Do you know why nothing happened between me and Ashley?”

  “Why?” My voice was little more than a whisper and it was all but drowned out by the sounds of our classmates talking and the waves crashing against the shore.

  He continued talking as though I hadn’t spoken at all.

  “It was not because I care what these people think,” he gestured to the crowd that was pouring off the boat. One or two glanced our way, unable to hide their curiosity.

  “I couldn’t kiss Ashley after I kissed you,” he said. “I couldn’t kiss anyone, not after...” His voice trailed off.

  The Kiss, I thought.

  He ran a hand through his hair in agitation.

  “And when I heard that you and Ryan...” He shook his head and turned away from me.

  I put a hand on his shoulder and he turned back to me but he didn’t look me in the eye.

  “I told you, I’m over Ryan, it didn’t mean anything,” I said.

  He nodded absently. “Yeah, I believe you.” I let myself feel a flicker of hope.

  “But that’s not enough,” he added and that flicker of hope died instantly.

  “Because it didn’t mean anything with me either,” he said. He looked me in the eye and it took everything I had not to look away.

  “Did it?” he asked.

  He was looking me straight in the eye. He had issued a challenge, a dare, and my brain and my mouth were frozen.

  I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what he wanted to hear. I didn’t know how to make things right. How to make time stand still. Or better yet, turn back time so we were back to the Adam and Eve we had always been and I thought always would be.

  But no words could do that and I had lost my chance once again.

  “Adam, I’m sorry,” I said. It sounded pathetically like a whimper even to me.

  Adam looked like I punched him in the gut. I reached out a hand but he backed away.

  “I can’t keep doing this, Eve,” he said. “It’s time we end this. Tell people I cheated on you, tell them you cheated on me. I don’t care what you tell them just make sure they know the truth—that you and I are not a real couple.”

  I tried to stop him but it was too little too late and I watched as the tide of people carried him away from me and within seconds he was swallowed up by the crowd.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  I was swept up in the human tide as well and soon found myself on shore feeling stranded and alone in the crowd.

  “Hey Eve!” I heard Victoria shout my name and saw her and Mark rushing toward me.

  “Where’s Adam?” she asked as they drew near.

  I felt my lower lip tremble and swallowed a thick lump in my throat. “I don’t know,” I said.

  Mark and Victoria led me away from the crowd and I told them in broken phrases what had happened.

  I wasn’t easy to explain what happened when I wasn’t entirely sure myself but I tried to piece it together as best I could.

  Mark seemed to understand instantly.

  “You need to find him,” he said.

  I nodded. I knew I did. If I didn’t find him tonight... if I didn’t somehow make things right...

  Victoria seemed to see the hysteria building and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Get a grip,” she said. “You will find him and you guys will talk this out,” she said. “It’s all going to work out just fine.”

  I glanced from Victoria’s drill sergeant scowl over to Mark who was nodding sagely beside her.

  “I tried to talk to him,” I said to Mark. “But everything I said just made him angry.”

  “Try again,” Mark said.

  “And this time try being honest,” Victoria added.

  Mark raised his eyebrows and pointed to Victoria. “Listen to this girl. It’s time you’re honest with Adam.”

  I opened my mouth to defend myself—I had been being honest!—but I choked on the denial.

  I heard Adam’s voice asking me if The Kiss had meant anything and cringed as I remembered my pathetic response. I’d let him believe that it hadn’t meant anything.

  And all because I didn’t want things to change between us. Like a montage straight out of a cheesy movie, my mind replayed scenes from throughout the week.

  Me and Adam dancing at the club, Adam winning me that silly stuffed bear, Adam stepping up in front of everyone we know and kissing me just to make sure that Ryan didn’t see me cry.

  Who was I trying to kid? Whether I admitted it or not, things had changed this week. Whether it was intentional or not didn’t matter. Denying that I had felt it too wouldn’t turn back the clock, it was just a way to ignore what was right in front of my face.

  “You guys I need to find him,” I said, more than a touch of panic in my voice.

  Mark, Victoria and I scanned the crowd but there was no sign of Adam in the sea of gowns and suits that were swarming the pier.

  “Maybe he went to the bonfire,” Victoria said.

  The organizers of tonight’s shindig planned a bonfire at the beach as an after party and the crowd was already hitching up their dresses and rolling up their dress pants to trek across the beach to the party.

  “I don’t know,” I hedged. “I can’t imagine he’d want to be in a crowd. He seemed pretty upset.”

  “Maybe he went home?” Mark said.

  I shifted from foot to foot as I weighed the options. I couldn’t imagine Adam sitting home alone but I couldn’t see him heading to a party either.

  “I’ll check the house,” I said. “You two go on ahead to the party. Give me a call if he’s there.”

  I watched them follow the crowd toward the site of the bonfire and headed in the opposite direction to Adam’s house.

  A quick search of the house and back porch revealed that Adam wasn’t there and it looked like he hadn’t been back. He hadn’t responded to my texts either.

  A panicky anxious feeling swept over me in the silent empty house. The pictures of Adam and I that dotted the walls seemed to mock me.

  Nothing will ever be the same.

  I could feel time running out. If I didn’t talk to Adam—if I didn’t tell him how I felt, I would lose him, I realized. I had been all wrong thinking that ignoring what was between us would make it go away. It would only make Adam go away. And the thought of Adam leaving me, even if it just meant pulling away from me emotionally, I couldn’t bear the thought.

  I fought the tears that threatened to spill and ordered myself to remain calm. The car was still in the driveway, I told myself. He hadn’t gone far.

  I called Victoria but she and Mark hadn’t seen him at the bonfire. They assured me they would keep looking for him and call me the instant they spotted him.

  I couldn’t bear the thought of waiting ar
ound the house for him to show up or for Victoria to call so I decided to search the beach. I could definitely see him going for a walk on the beach to clear his head. Particularly if he wanted to avoid seeing me.

  I shook off that though and set out to find him. I debated which direction to go but ultimately decided to head toward the boardwalk. He would be coming from that direction if he’d gone walked along the beach from the pier.

  I hadn’t gone far before I came across a highly unlikely scene.

  Perched on the steps leading to the boardwalk, decked out in a beautiful formal gown, sat Lindsay.

  She was alone. And she was shoveling a giant ice cream shake into her mouth.

  Lindsay didn’t look particularly happy to see me but she didn’t look extraordinarily put out either. She just lowered the shake and raised an eyebrow.

  “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you and Adam be snuggled up in a corner somewhere?” she asked.

  But despite the cold welcome, her heart just didn’t seem to be in it. It was like she was being mean to me out of habit.

  Oddly enough, I found myself sort of glad to see her. I was feeling incredibly alone and upset and it was kind of comforting to see a familiar face, even if it was Lindsay’s.

  Apparently my face said it all because Lindsay put down the ice cream and gave me a searching look.

  “You guys got into a fight?” she asked.

  I nodded.

  Lindsay’s lips pursed and she cocked her head to the side as she considered me.

  “Sorry I told him about you and Ryan,” she said.

  I let out a little sigh. “I’m sorry I kissed him.”

  She raised one eyebrow and laughed humorlessly. “Oh please. You didn’t kiss him, he kissed you—I saw the whole thing.”

  I shrugged. “Either way, I’m really sorry it happened. I didn’t mean to come between you guys.”

  Lindsay picked up her shake and began stabbing at it with her spoon.

  “Relax, it wasn’t just you,” she said.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “I went to find him later that night... you know to tell him off or whatever...”

  I nodded. Lindsay was so not the type to turn the other cheek.

  “And?”

  “And I caught him kissing some skanky girl who crashed the party.”

  “Oh Lindsay, I am so sorry,” I said.

  Lindsay heaved a sigh. “Yeah well, I can’t say it was the best night of my life. But don’t you worry, revenge is sweet.”

  She flashed me a wicked grin that actually made me feel a little sorry for Ryan—but just a little.

  “Uh oh,” I laughed. “What did you do?”

  Lindsay gave a little shrug and managed to look mysterious despite the large quantity of ice cream she shoveled into her mouth.

  “You should know better than anyone, I am not one to be crossed,” Lindsay said.

  “Hell hath no fury...”

  That made Lindsay laugh, however her mouth was full of ice cream so it came out as sort of a snort, which then sent us both into hysterics, and for the first time in a long time, I remembered why we had been friends in the first place.

  Apparently Lindsay’s mind had wandered in the same direction. “So what happened between you and Adam?”

  I hesitated a moment, unsure of how much to tell the girl who for the past six months had seemed determined to ruin my life. One good laugh over ice cream wasn’t exactly enough to make me trust her with everything that was in my heart.

  “We had a fight,” I said.

  Here it was. This was my chance to start spreading rumors of our breakup. And who better to spread the news? Why not give Lindsay a little present in the form of good gossip?

  I tried to say the words but tears filled my eyes and choked my throat so I couldn’t speak.

  “Did you two... break up?” Lindsay asked.

  I shook my head quickly. “No! Or yes. I don’t know,” I said.

  Lindsay actually looked concerned and I wanted more than anything to spill the whole sordid tale and have her make sense of it all.

  “God, Eve, I really am sorry I told him about you and Ryan. Do you want me to talk to him? Explain that it wasn’t your fault?”

  Lindsay’s sudden kindness to me was enough to break the dam and tears started flooding down my cheeks.

  “Thanks but that’s not what he’s upset about. At least, that’s not all of it.”

  “So what happened?” Lindsay asked. “Maybe I can help?”

  “Everything just got so... so messed up!” I wailed. “I just want my friend back. Things got out of hand. We should never had tried dating, now we’ve ruined everything. I’ve ruined everything.”

  There was a brief silence as Lindsay digested my emotional outburst.

  “You’re an idiot, you know that right?”

  My mouth fell open in shock. Not because she called me an idiot. Lindsay had called me worse to my face more times than I could count. It was the fact that she said it with absolutely no malice. In fact, she was even sort of smiling at me—a strange, sort of condescending smile, like I was a loveable puppy who’d peed on the carpet.

  “You’re an idiot,” she continued. “Because the best guy in school is absolutely head over heels in love with you and you can’t admit that you feel the same way.”

  “Wh-what do you mean?” I asked. I had a moment of paranoia wondering how much Lindsay knew about our week-long “relationship” but then she continued.

  “I know you guys finally got together and all—it took you long enough—but it’s totally obvious to anyone with eyes that Adam is way more invested.”

  “It is?” I asked.

  Lindsay rolled her eyes. “I actually felt kind of sorry for Adam this week. I mean, you finally get together and then he has to watch you swoon over your jerk of an ex? That’s so not cool, he deserves better than that.”

  I had to stop myself from defending my actions. I couldn’t explain to her that we were never really together, not without humiliating us both and violating Adam’s trust.

  Besides, she had a point. Real relationship or not, it couldn’t have felt great to have your fake girlfriend pining over some other guy.

  “You’re right, he deserves better,” I said.

  Lindsay clearly hadn’t expected me to agree with her but she got over her surprise and plowed ahead with her assessment of our relationship—clearly she had given this some thought.

  “It’s like Adam has taken the leap, you know? He’s taken a step off the cliff called friendship on the faith that you two love each other enough to make it work,” Lindsay said.

  I swallowed. “And I haven’t,” I finished for her.

  Lindsay gave me a sympathetic look. “It doesn’t look like it... not from where I’m standing at least. It looks like you are clinging to the safety of your friendship, afraid to actually take the leap.”

  I nodded slowly. “Maybe you’re right.”

  Lindsay snorted. “I know I’m right.”

  There was the Lindsay I knew and loved. (Well, loved to hate.)

  Was she right? Had Adam already taken the leap? My heart started racing at the thought that Adam could really want us to be a couple. A real couple. A couple who loves each other and is there for each other... whether or not other people are looking.

  And really, isn’t that what we always had been? I was his world and he was mine. The only thing that had been missing was a physical relationship. We’d been too afraid to take that step, too afraid to ruin a good thing.

  Because what if there wasn’t chemistry? What if we took that step and it didn’t work out? It would have been disastrous.

  But if there was one thing this stupid game proved it was that there was most definitely chemistry. Whatever it was between the two of us... we were no longer just friends. To deny that would be equally disastrous.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  I left Lindsay to finish her ice cream in peace while I co
ntinued my search for Adam.

  I didn’t see him on my walk along the shore so I headed into the downtown area and roamed the streets, but there was no sign of him.

  I headed back toward the beach, all the while a sense of panic was growing.

  I called Victoria to see if he’d shown up at the party but there was still no sign of him.

  Totally discouraged, I started to head back to the house to see if he had returned while I was out but I was sidetracked by the sounds of the boardwalk.

  It was worth a shot.

  I raced up the boardwalk, popping into every arcade and fast food joint along the way. The impossibility of finding Adam amongst the crazy mob on the boardwalk was overwhelming. It would be like finding a needle in a haystack.

  I felt like I’d been at it for hours. With each passing minute the panic rose in my chest. I was reminded of the time I’d wandered off in a department store and hadn’t been able to find my mother. That was the only other time I’d ever felt this lost…this lonely.

  The rational part of my mind tried to remind me that Adam would return home eventually. He would have to see me at some point. He wasn’t going to wander off and leave me, Victoria, and Mark to find a way home by ourselves. And while I knew that this reasoning was correct, it made very little difference. The more time that went by, the further away from Adam I felt, the more convinced I became that I was going to lose him for good.

  I walked the boardwalk for an hour in vain. I was miserable. The undeniable panic and loss I felt just reinforced the fact that there were more emotions going on then I had ever suspected. I couldn’t hide from them any longer but I also couldn’t make sense of them. In one week my whole world had flipped upside down. Everything I thought I knew was called into question.

  I saw clearly that what I’d felt for Ryan was youthful, misguided infatuation. What I felt for him paled miserably in comparison to the bond I shared with Adam.

  For the first time I let myself experience the depth of my emotions for Adam. I thought I would spin out of control with the headiness of it all—my head and my heart overwhelmed by raw and powerful emotions.

  I hadn’t even begun to process what that meant, or how to define what I felt when I finally found him. He was sitting on a bench across from the old haunted house, vacantly staring at the line of giggling kids waiting to go inside. He hadn’t seen me and I resisted my first impulse to run to him, shouting his name. I hesitated a few feet away, unsure of how to approach him. He spotted me standing there staring at him.