by Lara Swann
More importantly though, her gaze was bright and clear, looking at me with an awareness that was reassuring. She seemed well - and for that at least, I was willing to give her some time.
“I’m so glad you’re home - I’ve wanted you to meet Terry for so long!”
I let her drag me up the porch stairs, apparently not wanting to leave it a minute longer.
At least she’s too excited to care you’re late…
She stopped abruptly when we entered the large entryway, turning to look at me properly for a moment. My eyes were caught on the large, sweeping stairway set out in front of us and leading up to a balcony that seemed to extend over this room and further into the one to the right as well. Part of me was tracking entrance and exit points, but the larger part just wondered how on earth my mother had fallen in with this crowd. She was pretty, sure, but we’d grown up in squalor and that sort of thing stuck - molding herself into the type of person comfortable in this sort of atmosphere wasn’t something I’d thought she had in her. I looked back as she touched my arm lightly and the slight hesitancy there made my gut tighten.
“Seth…there are some things I’ll never be able to change, but I want you to know it’s different this time. Just look at this place. Not our usual haunt, eh?”
I should have been able to match the wry smile that gave her, but instead this was just strange. This wasn’t where we belonged, no - and it was never something I’d wanted either.
“There was so much I wanted to give you growing up - and now, I can. We’ve had our difficulties, but stay for a little bit, please? I know you can, that work at the base is light when you’ve just only returned. We can have some proper time together again. Just wait and see, this will be different.”
The anxious hope in her eyes hurt, all the more because I could read so clearly what was written there.
It’s not too late, is it?
A question I didn’t know the answer to. I looked around again, at the opulence of the surroundings, a place I didn’t fit and certainly didn’t want to stay if I could be back at the barracks having a laugh. But I took her in again - the soft glow of well cared for skin, the healthy weight she’d finally put on and the attention in her gaze. She was right, it was nothing like any visit I’d ever made. Almost as if she’d finally heard the frustrated suggestions, lectures, pleas that I’d given up on giving her. It was what I’d wanted for her for so long that I’d almost forgotten the desire.
And she was my mother - whatever that meant. Something in me refused to abandon her now that she might finally be on the right track.
Reluctantly, I turned back to her and gave an inch, ignoring the unease still coiled within me.
“I’ll stay. For a bit.”
Her smile lit the depths of the room and she wrapped her arms around me again, returning to the excited girl-like state I’d never liked. But I couldn’t begrudge her that, and followed when she finally led us to where my new step-father to be was no doubt waiting.
Just what have I gotten myself into?
Her chatter continued as we navigated the broad hallways.
“…I know it’s too soon to say anything, but I really think we can be a proper family now…”
Family?
I didn’t get a chance to ask as she turned into a large sitting room and I stepped through to see an older man standing waiting for us. My mother went to him immediately, slipping her arm around his waist while I stayed by the door, eyes measuring him automatically. His weathered face had the narrow features that gave him an aristocratic edge and made him seem older than his black-and-grey hair implied. The eyes had the same spark of stubborn intelligence that I’d seen in the better officers I’d served with, but without the deadly glimmer I was used to. It took all of two seconds for me to find the slight disapproval I was looking for, but I’d already expected that.
At least he’s not a leather-clad biker bum.
The thought amused me and I let my familiar lazy, arrogant smile spread across my face as I stepped forward with a hand out. His eyes narrowed but he shook it with good grace and nodded.
“Pleased to meet you, Seth - I’ve heard a lot about you, and it’s always good to meet someone serving in defense of our country. I’m Terence Baltimore.”
Yep, the name went with the house.
“Likewise - though I’ve heard absolutely nothing about you.”
My mother’s face reddened as I left out the part where she’d had no opportunity to give me any information, but I kept my gaze on him as I switched easily between discourtesy and charm.
“Guess all the dinner conversation is going to have to center on you, then.”
He smiled tightly and turned to look off into a room on my right - from my initial glance, it seemed to be a library.
“Let me introduce you to my daughter first. Annabelle!”
He didn’t quite raise his voice, but the call had a familiar element of command to it.
Guess he’s got that as well.
There was something else that tugged at me, but I couldn’t identify it as I turned to meet the unexpected addition to our party. Maybe that was what family had meant.
Then I saw her.
For one split second, all my emotions exploded at once.
Time froze and every fight-or-flight instinct sent adrenaline surging through me.
Fuck, no.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell and shout and rage.
Three years ago, I would have done just that. I would have cursed the place down and stormed out.
Of all the people…all the places…how the fuck did my screw-up mother manage to mess my life up again?!
For one second, I just stared at the face that had played through my mind dozens of times in the dankest, darkest places. The face I had finally decided to hit up later tonight - apologize, explain, all the million-and-one things I couldn’t possibly do here. Or at all. That face was now forbidden to me in every way, shape or form.
From the flicker that crossed her face, I could guess she was experiencing her own range of emotions.
Not quite forgotten then. That’s nice.
But I recovered in an instant, quicker than she managed, and my usual armor came down - nothing like false, arrogant charm to protect you.
My smile widened and I met her eyes full-on, the challenge second nature to me.
“This is—”
I cut him off.
“Ohh, we’ve met.”
I shot them both a glance before walking over towards her. Fuck me, but I couldn’t help the seductive saunter of the movement.
“We were at school together, for a year. About…three years ago? Four?”
Her face had closed off it’s parade of emotions now, but I could see the attractive redness on her freckled cheeks, the red-gold hair coiled tightly at the top of her head when it really should be tumbling free around her shoulders. And those wide, deep-green eyes - with a bright, outraged disgust in them that was reserved solely for me.
Oh yes, I’m the devil here. And something in me can’t stop digging deeper…
“Bella, it’s so good to see you again.”
Before she could do anything to stop it, I’d swept her hand up to my lips, bowing lightly over the top of it while I brushed just the faintest impression across the back. My powerful gaze met hers as I came back up and she snatched her hand away from me, glaring back. I knew they couldn’t see our expressions, but I could almost feel her father’s frown at her rudeness and let the corner of my mouth curve in a smile at the small one-up on her.
Why the hell am I doing this?!
But I knew why. I was angry as hell, and while I may no longer have the crazed, explosive reactions, that violent response was still beating hard under all of this. And the Navy had taught me something far more dangerous in the controlled, disciplined attack of cold rage. As for Bella…well, she was just in the blast zone. And such an easy target.
I turned, ignoring her impotent anger without a
nother glance.
“Shall we go on to dinner? I believe I’ve kept you all waiting.”
I didn’t bother to apologize, but no one seemed to notice as Terence latched onto that as a good idea and escorted my mother out of the room. She gave me a suspicious glance as they walked past, my unpredictable behavior instinctively setting off alarm bells. As it should do. But it was her own fault - she was the one who’d invited me here. To stay, even.
The sudden reminder of what I’d only moments before agreed to had discomfort flicker inside me for a moment. But then it was forgotten, emotions locked down, in anticipation of the battleground ahead.
I gestured in front of me and gave Bella an innocent smile.
“After you - sis.”
“Fuck you.”
Her quiet response lit something in me that it shouldn’t have, and I found my smile growing, eyes dancing with amusement as we moved back into territory that was almost familiar. It had a sharper edge now though, the emotions behind it far more deadly.
“You already did, baby.”
Her startled look darted immediately to our parents, but we were far enough behind they hadn’t heard the softly murmured response.
She looked about ready to slap me, but we were already at the entrance to the dinner room and they were both waiting for us at the table. Instead, she turned and walked away from me as quickly as was possible without looking overtly rude. Her escape attempt failed as soon as she realized we’d been placed next to each other, opposite our parents.
I took a moment just to look at the room, the large table spanning the width and covering only one half of the room, looking as though it could seat a good 12 people. If it were on a raised dais, I could almost take this to be a small banquet room from something out of a medieval story.
I shook my head at the fancy notion and moved up to the other place waiting at the table, seeing them all looking expectantly at me.
“Nice room.”
It was clear my mother couldn’t tell whether my flash of a smile was mocking or not, but regardless of what they thought, Terence decided the best option was to take me at face value.
“Thank you. I hope you’re hungry - the food is more than ready.”
The subtle reminder of my tardiness only made me smile, but my amusement at Bella’s inability to escape twisted as I realized it offered me a similar problem. With her on my left, it was hard not to let my eyes linger on the exposed skin of her neck joining shoulder…I could taste the light scent she used in the air, even with the tempting smells of marinated meat that was quickly set down in front of us. If I hadn’t been distracted I would have probably formed an opinion about having people to cook and bring us food.
I kept my hands studiously above the table, knowing unless they were in plain sight it would be far too tempting to run them down the skirt she was wearing, tease that place the hem met skin the way I had so many times before, and let just a finger slip underneath. That was all it took to drive her crazy - I could remember that plain as day - and the dime-a-dozen women I’d known since had only appreciated the attention to detail that Navy SEAL training had added.
“What?”
Bella’s voice drew me out of the completely illicit fantasy and made me realize I wasn’t the only one wrapped up in thoughts that left me with no clue as to where the conversation was.
“I was just asking whether you were alright with the lamb - you mentioned something about going through a vegan phase at school?”
The question seemed badly timed, considering the food was already cooked and served, but Bella was eating it without complaint - and from the closed off expression on her face, without tasting it either.
“Oh, yes, it’s fine thank you. And it wasn’t a phase - it was a challenge. Just wanted to see whether I could do it for 60 days.”
“If you say so.”
The condescension there irked me, but apart from a momentary frown, Bella ignored it. To my surprise, it was my mother’s voice that spoke up.
“I can understand that - challenging yourself to do new, different things. I’m sure Seth does too - isn’t that one of your SEAL mottos, hmm?”
Not the way you say it.
Ever since I’d gained that badge of honor, my mother had become obsessed with it - quick to parade my service out in front of anyone who would listen, and I couldn’t stand it. She had no clue what it really meant to be who I was, to serve as I did. A few maxims and quotes weren’t enough to understand. Constantly challenging, training, learning, pushing…that was as much a part of my life as breathing. So yes, I could understand Bella’s motivations - she was the kind of girl who could fit into that same life view, after all. But I sincerely doubted my mother did.
Instead of launching into that tirade, I just shrugged and grunted, brushing it away as I always did with those comments.
I focused on pushing away the distraction of her presence right there at my shoulder and tried to turn my attention back to the man my mother was planning to make my step-father. My initial optimism had died as soon as I’d realized just whose father he was, and with it most of my interest, but I could at least try to be polite. Whatever got me away from the awkwardness of this meal quicker. And away from the tempting siren next to me.
Unfortunately, he brought the conversation right back to the same place again.
“Ah yes, your mother mentioned you were in the Navy SEALs. Quite an accomplishment - is it as hard as they say, the training?”
I felt Bella startle at that, shooting me a sidelong glance.
The images flashed through my mind briefly - the freezing cold, the harsh surf as we lay in it for hours, the never-ending ache of fatigued muscles, constant stress and pressure and haranguing to quit…it was the worst thing I’d ever done. And the best. And I never wanted to do it again.
“Harder.”
He asked me a few more questions but I didn’t elaborate much beyond one word answers. I tried to care about being pleasant but found myself failing spectacularly. I hated this line of conversation - almost like I was some novelty on display. I’d never found anyone outside the force that I could stand talking to about this stuff. And those within didn’t talk about it - they didn’t need to.
The conversation died away after a few more moments, and I was glad to just focus on my food. My mother kicked it off again just as the silence started to feel heavy, evidently giving up on me.
“What about you, Annabelle? Your father mentioned you’d graduated with a 3.9 - that’s seriously impressive! What are your plans now?”
Bella shifted beside me, and I could read her discomfort instantly. My eyes watched her closely at that, curiosity overcoming even the desire to run my hand up through her hair and unpick the clips that held it restrained. There was something wrong about my need to feel it tumbling around me, my hand caught in it as I pulled her head back for a kiss that would take her breath away…
OK, maybe curiosity didn’t quite overcome that.
Bella cleared her throat and glanced at her father, before taking a breath in a manner that spoke of a practiced action.
“I’ve been thinking about that, actually.”
Terence gave her a quick look, his face unchanged as he answered for her.
“You were thinking of attending a med school near here, weren’t you? So studying for the MCAT soon, I imagine.”
She looked back at him evenly, but her body language made me feel she was preparing herself for what she was about to say.
The dynamics between the two of them were fascinating - Bella’s controlled, almost emotionless manner had been a big part of her reputation at school. Personally, I’d never quite seen her that way - but then I’d made it my purpose to goad her out of it. Looking at them both right now though, I had a feeling that this was who it was for.
“Yes, that’s one of the options. But, you know, we’d discussed taking some time to think it through after graduation, and I’ve also been getting really interested in fore
nsics. I was thinking it might be worth pursu—”
She was cut off by a slight laugh, and my eyebrows shot up as I looked back to her father, who was shaking his head with a small, tolerant smile.
“I think you’ve been watching too much CSI, my dear.”
Bella tensed for a moment beside me, before forcing herself to relax and shrugging.
“It’s just something to consider - maybe we should talk about it another time.”
“I don’t think there’s much to talk about, Annabelle. It’s not a good idea.”
His response made my blood boil and I was ready to snap at him, but glanced to the side and waited for Bella to do so - she wouldn’t appreciate me fighting her battles. And it wasn’t like it was my place to anyway. But to my surprise she just slunk further into her chair and pushed her food around the plate.
This was the girl who had never once failed to find a come-back for one of my jibes?
It took all my effort not to stare at her. For some reason, her attitude just made me even angrier - with her or him, I couldn’t tell. Maybe both of them. Maybe just the world for this whole fucked up situation.
What did I care whether she did medicine or forensics, anyway?
Except that I couldn’t stand to see her treated that way.
Says the guy who was taunting her a few minutes ago…
My reaction made less sense than her behavior and it was all irritating the hell out of me.
The air was tense for a minute, until my mother picked up the slack again and rattled on about some conversation she’d had out shopping today. If I wasn’t so irate, I would have been impressed with her sudden social graces.
Bella asked to be excused a few minutes later, when a couple of people came to collect our plates, saying she had a headache and wasn’t feeling like dessert. Her father just nodded and she turned to my mother.
“It was good to meet you, Cora…Seth.”
She didn’t look at me as she turned and left, and it took more willpower than I would have expected not to watch her go.
