by Lara Swann
Great. And now I’m all alone with them both…
Not that that mattered when my only thought was of her - the way she’d looked, dejected and defeated in the face of her father’s comments. A direct contrast to the spark of anger and outrage I’d provoked earlier tonight, the familiar game that was now tinged with an uncomfortable edge. The way I could still remember her body, skin against skin as we drove each other to heights I’ve never seen before or since.
God damn!
I could almost feel her against me again, hearing her cry my name as I was taken with the way this somewhat shy, innocent girl could become such an intense wildcat when provoked. That was what had enthralled me, I’d known from the first instant. And seeing the opposite tonight had provoked me almost beyond tolerance.
I wanted to go after her, to change whatever had just happened between her and her father - even knowing most likely I could only make it worse. The sporadic conversation between Terence and my mother almost drove me up the wall as I sat there debating whether to storm up after her or stay away. I knew what the sensible thing to do was. I knew what was right.
And I wanted to damn it all to hell.
It was a terrible idea. But there was so much between us…so much left unsaid. And now that our parents had hooked up, it wasn’t like we could avoid each other forever.
But we couldn’t have anything else either. Even if I hadn’t gone out of my way to push her away tonight, my mother had ensured she was firmly out of reach. I just wasn’t conditioned to accept that.
There is no “can’t”. Will or will not, that’s your only choice.
Dale’s oft-repeated phrases seemed meaningless in the face of this. She was about to become my step-sister - what could be more impossible?
And even if she wasn’t, it would be hard enough, with what I’d said tonight…with what lay between us three years ago…
I tried to tell myself the disgust and anger I’d seen in her eyes was a good thing - it would keep me away, stop me doing anything rash - but it ate at me anyway, even if I had invited it.
I’d committed to seeing her tonight - to explaining myself and at least setting things straight between us. It sucked balls that this was how I’d seen her, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t set the past right.
Perhaps that was all that was left to me now, and once I was done I could finally put this obsession to bed. I’d hurt her once - I’d seen that in her expression tonight - and we were brother and sister now. I wouldn’t hurt her again - but after all this time apart, I needed a few moments with her in private.
I finished dinner with a few questions to Terence, asking him about his business and acting like I was thinking about anything but his daughter’s fair, pretty skin writhing underneath me. He seemed only too happy to comply, regaling me with tales of the tech industry and how his company was poised on the edge of overtaking some new innovation. It sounded mind-numbingly boring to me, but he was obviously pleased with it.
When we were finally done, my mother offered to take me up to the room she’d had prepared for me. The idea of staying here now twisted my gut in knots, but I’d agreed - and even as frustrated as I was, I could see this was good for her, so I didn’t say anything. I could always change my mind another day. For tonight, there was the promise that Bella would be only a few rooms away - and the burning need still to see her. So I took my mother’s directions and even managed a moderately polite goodnight.
Then I set off in search of Bella.
Chapter Three
Seth
Resting my shoulder against the side of the door, I knocked and waited as I heard my new step-sister moving inside and coming to answer. The rooms were stupid big in this place.
As soon as she saw me, her expression closed-off and I could see the obvious temptation to slam the door in my face. Not giving her a chance to think about it, I gave my casual smile and walked easily past her and inside.
“Hey!”
As she spun to face me, I couldn’t help how much I adored the way outrage had always puckered up her pretty, delicate features.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
So, yeah, not welcome.
It was expected, even if I wished it was undeserved.
I just raised my eyebrows and gave her a long look, wanting the door closed before I said any of what I’d come for.
“I thought you’d prefer to talk in private, hmm?”
She caught my meaning immediately, flushing and closing the door with a quick glance outside before coming forward to glare at me. Such strong, passionate eyes when she was riled up. I couldn’t help enjoying it just as much as I had at eighteen, my body’s reaction showing me that the time apart hadn’t done anything to diminish her effect on me.
I cursed the fact she was off-limits yet again - this would be so much easier if I could just push her up against the wall and show her just how much I’d missed whatever that brief thing between us had been.
God damn.
I ignored that and took a breath, finally having her alone and in relative privacy and wanting to at least explain the last three years…and try to discuss the mess we were in now.
“About before—”
Her eyes flashed and back straightened, that stubborn set of her chin making my body heat all over again.
“You can’t tell anyone about that - my father would never forgive me! As far as I’m concerned, it never happened.”
That was all it took to turn my conciliatory plan to anger, my mouth opening instinctively, unable to accept that she cared more about what her father thought than what had happened between us.
“Still chasing Daddy’s approval, I see.”
Her body tightened but despite that small indication, she stayed where she was, in full disdainful control.
There were a few officers who would have been impressed…
“It was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made - don’t make it worse now, asshole.”
Damn it, but this woman knew how to provoke me.
My good intentions disappeared in the face of anger and need, and I sauntered towards her stiff body, enjoying the way her eyes immediately turned wary. I stepped up close, invading her personal space, but with the way our eyes held each other she didn’t move. My mouth curved at the evidence of what I was sure was running through her body as deeply as it was mine and I tilted my head, my breath brushing her lips while I kept myself moments above her. Inches away from every kiss we’d ever shared. My heartbeat thudded in my ears, something akin to adrenaline surging as I felt her caught like this - under my gaze, my body.
Electricity jumped between the narrow space separating our bodies, the tingle of what could be there almost stronger than if I’d actually touched her. Her eyes widened with it and gave me just a glimmer of what I was looking for, lips parting just a little as blood shot to my cock. I let the smile bloom full and deadly as my hand finally broke the distance between us, curling in the strands of her hair that were at last loose from the bob she kept them in and tilting her head towards me.
“Is that what you’re telling yourself, baby? Because I remember it differently - I heard you gasp my name as you came at my word…your sweet moans while I drove you crazy…felt your soft curves relax as you fit perfectly into my arms that night…”
I stepped back with those words reverberating in her mind, her eyes glazed for just a moment before she jerked back, stepping away from me with a horrified look on her face.
“Stop it! You can’t talk like that, asshole. None of that meant anything - they can never know!”
She was clearly struggling not to yell now, and if part of me wasn’t turning to ash inside I might even have been amused at her difficulty in trying not to cause a scene someone would hear.
It shouldn’t matter - I’d expected all this, and it wasn’t like we had a chance even if she’d embraced me with open arms. But somehow her distress, her anger, was twisting inside me and I wanted to wrap my arms around her, s
how her I’d make it better and let her cry and rage against me as much as she needed.
It was a stupid desire and it had no place between us now. There was a reason I kept provoking, pushing her away, and it was best to stick to it - she’d made very obvious she didn’t want anything from me.
My explanations were unwanted, and I’d stick to my word - I wouldn’t drag her on whatever dangerous path this crazy need inside of me was longing to go. I wouldn’t hurt her like that again.
I shrugged and let my face slip back into disinterest, my disdain for her concern about her father’s opinion seeping in.
“Don’t worry, babe - it wasn’t interesting enough for me to cause a scene.”
I could see the words hit her, but the relief was written clearly on her face and she just nodded at me, as if I’d confirmed something she’d always suspected.
“Good.”
It twisted inside me a little, but it was for the best. The hateful jabs would serve us better than the passionate mess that seemed to be bubbling just under the surface. Better to kill it off now.
“Glad that’s settled then. See ya around - Belle.”
I gave her an ironic smile and turned to leave, resolving to stay as far away as possible and cursing my mother to the depths of hell.
Chapter Four
Bella
I sank back against the door I’d just closed and fought the scream that was trying to escape.
Damn it all!
Emotions stabbed through me, a tidal wave I couldn’t control as the day-from-hell crashed over me again and again.
The anger was obvious, though where it was directed I couldn’t have said right now - Seth, my father, life itself…they all seemed to be vying for my attention at the moment. But under that were elements of disappointment, frustration and some deep sadness I didn’t even understand. That only made the whole thing worse, and now that the asshole was gone I couldn’t stop my body from shaking, everything too much to process as I tried to catch my breath.
But worst of all…my body was still vibrating just from that one, brief touch. The words he’d said. The look on his face.
God-damn sexy, arrogant bastard.
Seeing Seth standing opposite me in the drawing room earlier had been enough of a shock, but what had shaken me to my core was the difference.
Three years ago, he’d been a boy with skills no boy should have - coupled with a matching badass attitude and sexy-as-hell smile that lit up the mischief in his eyes.
Now…he was a man. In every sense of the word.
The body that had been so much more impressive than any of the other idiot jocks had filled out beyond belief - it was harder, thicker and he carried it with an unconscious, confident grace that I could only describe as deadly. When I’d heard later at dinner that he was in the SEALs, it had fit in a way that made me shudder. That was what emanated from him now - a dangerous intensity and fierce control that scared me more than his wild behavior ever had.
Scared me, and set my blood on fire.
Fuck.
I could still feel the lust coiling through me, despite everything that had happened between us, the rage and frustration I lived with for so long - none of it prevented his gaze from setting my pulse beating hard within me.
I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair, trying not to imagine what else he might have learned in three long years, trying not to picture how easily a body like that could throw me around or pin me down to make me writhe helplessly under him. It was hopeless, but at least his callous words had given me enough to spark the embers of my fury.
Once I’d finally stopped the galloping of my heart I walked back over to the small desk at the other end of the room, the bright laptop screen looking back at me. My gaze flickered across the information I’d been reading about the MCAT exam and I switched it off, feeling defeated.
I flopped down on the large bed that occupied the middle of the room, white covers with only a little blue embroidery surrounding me - sophisticated, unassuming, and so far removed from another bed I’d never forgotten, sitting in a hotel room a few miles from here. The nature of the bed didn’t change the dangerous electricity still in the air where he’d caught me, pinned me with that gaze and touched my body with an ownership that was as brazen as if he’d never left it.
My mind flickered back to his lips hovering above mine, to the kiss it could have been, and I groaned inwardly. It was a good thing he hadn’t tried to take it further, because I was in no position to stop him - and I had no idea whether I would have melted against that hard, powerful chest or slapped him silly.
Yes you do.
That small part of me that wouldn’t let up whispered the answer, but I ignored it.
It wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t be possible for him to cause that in me, after all this time. I had spent so long getting over the whole ridiculous fling, so much time angry and frustrated - with myself as much as him - I shouldn’t just fall back into it so easily.
My body didn’t seem to care. One touch and I was craving it all again - a crazy desire that was all the more wrong now.
Idiot - he’s your stepbrother to be, remember?
But try as I might, I wasn’t sure I could picture him that way. I knew him too well, too intimately for that. I wasn’t sure I could ever look at him and not see that intense, passionate time.
Or all the pain and resentment after he’d disappeared without a word.
I sighed, the confusion in the wake of his seductive words coming back to me again, resenting the thoughts and feelings they’d brought right to the surface again.
“Is that what you’re telling yourself, baby? Because I remember it differently…”
And then those tempting, dangerous images that had washed over deep longings I’d thought forgotten.
My biggest mistake.
How angry he’d been at that - sure, it came out in a controlled arrogance, but I’d seen the reason he’d gone on the offensive, those deadly skills engaged to deny my words.
The words that hadn’t even been meant that way. I’d never begrudged myself that explosive night we’d had together, the raging desire I’d felt for him or the deep satisfaction we’d taken from each other. Try as I might, I’d never been able to regret that time together.
My mistake had been believing it meant something more.
My lips twisted into a wry smile with the familiar self-deprecation. I’d seen girl after girl fall for his bedroom skills, rolled my eyes at the pathetic way they ran after him for more and dismissed them as fools when they cried to each other, heartbroken over a one night stand with a boy who’d never stuck with a girl for more than a few days.
That will never be me, I’m better than that - I’d know what I was getting into, and I wouldn’t stick around waiting on some idiot, either.
Turns out, in that infinite wisdom born of inexperience, I didn’t have a clue.
Despite everything I’d told myself, despite knowing better in every possible way, somehow I’d managed to convince myself I was special. Different. Like every dime-a-dozen girl at our school.
Sure, he went after me with almost single-minded determination. Teased and provoked and pursued longer than I would ever have bet on. Enough that by the time I finally decided it would be a good way to give up my virginity, in one spectacular, crazy night, there was a spark of belief that it meant something more. Even if I’d never wanted it to. And after that night…the spark exploded. Set the rest of my body on fire.
Until his disappearance burned me out - completely.
Belle.
The sardonic irony of that name tonight replaced the sweet caress it had always been. The final nail in the coffin.
Anger surged in me again for a moment at the thought of the laugh he must have had with it - a whole year spent in pursuit, and he’d finally reduced the off-limits top-of-the-class girl to burning desire and the pathetic belief that she meant something different.
It might have been
my own fault, but as far as I was concerned, he could burn in hell for it too.
Well, I hope my fall was everything you were looking for, asshole - because I’m done.
My traitorous body be damned - stepbrother or no, I’m staying as far away as I can manage.
Chapter Five
Bella
“Maternal influence?!”
Kaylee looked at me in horror and I grumbled appreciatively, already feeling better. The sexy blond beauty had always been good for sympathy, and she loved hearing a drama-filled story.
“That was an asshole thing to say - I hope you called him on it.”
There was a pause for a moment, then she glanced sidelong towards me.
“Of course you didn’t.”
I thought the dramatic sigh was uncalled for and swung around onto my front, resting my head on hands folded under my cheek with my face turned towards her.
“He’s my father—”
“And of course that makes him immune from wrong-doing.”
Kaylee’s smile took some of the sting out of it, but I still bristled, taking a long sip of the iced coffee resting on the floor by the sun-lounger I was lying on, poking the ice cream still floating decadently within it with the straw. We were out around the back of the house, lying by the pool in one of our favorite summer pastimes.
“Oddly enough, I had other things on my mind just then.”
Kaylee murmured her acceptance and waved me onward with the story again.
“So, what’s she like - your new step-mother?”
My thoughts had drifted, looking out over the endless waves of ocean that the deck faced. This part of the Californian coast was beautiful and as the sun beat down above us, I could smell the salt-air from here. It was a beautiful day.
The sort of thing I’d been looking forward to this summer, before yesterday had thrown me to chaos.
“Hmm? Oh, she seems alright.”
“Really? Well…that’s good.”
I almost laughed at the hint of disappointment Kaylee didn’t quite hide. She’d been enjoying my complaint laden haranguing as much as I had. I raised an eyebrow at her and smiled.
