Jetsetters

by S J Crabb

  With our beach gear in tow, Luke and I meet the others in reception. There are quite a lot of us going on this trip and I think the whole crew is here. There is a lot of excited chatter as we wait for the fun to commence.

  Rachel comes over and grins. “This will be a busman’s holiday for you, Luke.”

  He laughs. “Almost. Though this time I will be out in the open and not submerged at thousands of feet below civilisation.”

  Rachel looks interested. “It must be a strange way to earn a living.”

  He nods. “It is. It’s only when I have leave that I remember there's a world out here. Most of the time I love my job but the realities of what it’s costing me is starting to weigh on my mind.”

  He looks at me with that same wistful expression and something catches in my heart. He looks lost and unsure and I instantly want to pull him closer and reassure him that everything will be ok. We share a small smile which changes into a loud laugh when Marcus pitches up with Elvis in tow. They look every inch the nautical sailors, or should I say naughty. Marcus has a Captain’s hat perched on his head at a jaunty angle. He is also wearing a t-shirt with— ‘Master Bates’ emblazoned across it with the image of its namesake in full Technicolour glory. Luke laughs beside me as Jo says with horror,

  “You can’t wear that, Marcus, it’s obscene.”

  He grins. “No, Jo, it’s just your mind that’s obscene. This is a much-loved cartoon hero from my youth and I won’t hear a word said against it.”

  Rachel grins as Marcus claps his hands.

  “Right then. Elvis’s cousin is Captain Elviras. He is waiting for us by the jetty. We need approximately five hundred pesos each for this trip, payable on embarkation. There will be a small picnic provided by the hotel in lieu of us missing lunch. We will be heading over to watch the famous Cliff Divers and afterwards will sail back in plenty of time to get ready for cocktails aboard HMS excitement. Now, does anyone have any questions?”

  He looks around and smiles happily.

  “Come on then, follow me to the Love Boat.”

  Luke and I walk with Rachel and Jo, as Jenny and Flynn bring up the rear. We chat generally but I notice the strain in Rachel’s eyes. Maybe I should make a point of getting her alone on this trip. She needs somebody to confide in, I can tell. This might be just the opportunity to help out my friend.

  Captain Elviras speaks no English and just smiles at everyone. He looks at us with what can only be described as a mass murderer, ‘I am going to drown you all,’ glint in his eyes. As we look at his boat, I feel a little dubious. It appears big enough for all of us but what happens if we need to abandon it? I can only see a few inflatable rings hanging on the side.

  I turn to Luke and whisper, “As ships go, it’s not very big, is it?”

  He rolls his eyes. “No, Becca, this is a boat, not a ship.”

  I frown and look annoyed.

  “Oh, make up your mind. Boat or ship, what is the correct term?”

  Luke laughs and grabs my hand, squeezing it gently.

  “According to the Royal Naval Institute, a boat, generally speaking, is small enough to be carried aboard a larger vessel. A vessel large enough to carry a smaller one is a ship. The only boat this one could carry is a toy one. Later on, you will see the difference between the two.”

  Once again, the excitement fizzes through me at his words. A real-life navy ship party with my very own officer escort. I am certainly living the dream this week.

  Once we are all onboard, we set sail or whatever it is these boat ships do. Everyone makes themselves comfortable by sprawling on the deck and catching some rays. Marcus and Elvis hand out drinks from a cooler and I watch as the boys try their hand at a spot of fishing. I position myself next to Rachel and Jo, with Jenny on the other side and we lie back in contentment.

  Rachel sighs beside me.

  “This is what makes the endless tedious hours of drinks, meal and duty-free worth it. If only every week could be like this.”

  Jenny laughs softly.

  “You’re right. I suppose when I move out here it will be for me. I mean, I’ll get to work on the beach every day and wake up to the beautiful sunshine. Thankfully, I will be leaving the cold, grey winters behind.”

  Jo says somewhat sharply.

  “I hope you know what you’re doing, Jenny. Maybe you should wait for a few weeks before handing in your notice. I don’t know, maybe book a holiday out here first and see how you get on.”

  Rachel nods. “Jo’s right. It may help your decision. Take it from someone who knows. When the first flush of love dies down there is a cold hard reality waiting to take its place. You may regret your decision and have to come home to an uncertain future.”

  Jenny looks at Rachel thoughtfully.

  “You’re talking about yourself, aren’t you?”

  Rachel looks at us sadly.

  “I think I am. Lorenzo and I rushed into marriage without really getting to know each other properly first. Lust clouded our view and when it faded, I realised he wasn’t the man I fell in love with. I still love him but we want different things. He fell in love with an independent woman who loves to travel and take on life’s experiences. The woman he wants is someone who stays by his side and provides him with a family. He wants me to learn Italian and convert to the Catholic faith. What scares me the most is I obviously don’t love him enough to do it.”

  Jo reaches out and grasps her hand.

  “Rachel, the most important thing is to do what makes you happy. If you’re miserable, then he will be too. Lorenzo loves the woman you are and not this mother substitute he has in his mind. Maybe you should both just sit down and discuss your feelings. You may find you’re making a big deal out of nothing. Once he knows how you feel he will come around.”

  Rachel smiles and then says somewhat harshly.

  “Right back at you, Jo. Maybe you should follow your own advice with Pete. I mean, look at him over there. He pretends to be interested in fishing but he can’t take his eyes off you. I can see the hurt in them from here. What’s stopping you from following your own advice and sorting it out?”

  Jo just looks at her with a hard expression.

  “It’s different.”

  Jenny rolls her eyes.

  “Not really, Jo. Whatever made him say Margaret’s name shouldn’t be the cause of you splitting up. I’m sure it was just a mistake. My mum used to call me by the cat’s name all the time.”

  We all laugh and Jo rolls her eyes. “Well, we haven’t got a cat called Margaret or a dog or a goldfish or a bloody pot plant. Therefore, your theory falls apart under the briefest scrutiny. No, whoever Margaret is, she is the person responsible for breaking up a once happy couple.”

  Silence descends and we lie back, her words ringing in our ears. There will be no arguing with her when she’s in this mood. Jo sees things in black or white. There is no grey area, and she makes no excuses. Maybe that’s why she’s finding it so hard to forgive Pete.

  As I think about it, I enjoy the gentle rocking motion of the boat as the sun beats down onto my bare skin. This is actually a very pleasant trip. I have heard of the famous Cliff Divers. They stun the gathered crowds with their deaf defying leaps from a great height into the rock-laced waters below. This should be interesting.

  ~*~*~*~*~

  Chapter 23

  “I think I’m going to die.”

  I run my tongue over my lips, trying to get some moisture in them. Jo’s words echo my own thoughts as the boat lurches from side to side. My whole body is moving in different directions to other parts of me and my head is spinning. I feel the bile in my throat and my head is so heavy that I think it has been super-glued to the deck. I can’t open my eyes because the sun is too bright and burns through my glasses. There is silence all around.

  All I can hear are the groans of my fellow sailors as everyone lies flat on the deck. The rolling and pitching of the boat is doing strange things to my mind and body and I actually think I
am going to die.

  There is not one member of this boat that isn’t similarly affected. Even Luke is clinging to the side rail and leaning over the side of the boat. Barry is sitting with his head in his hands, groaning. I see Pete out of the corner of my eye crawling across the deck towards Jo, who is groaning loudly as she lies face down.

  Marcus looks green as he sits with his back against the side of the boat and every other person is clinging to something to try to stop from falling over.

  Only Captain Elviras and Elvis appear unaffected and look at us with worried expressions.

  Suddenly, the Captain cries out in Spanish - I think and Elvis translates.

  “We’re here, everyone. Look, the cliff divers are diving for your pleasure.”

  Jo groans loudly.

  “The only one I’m interested in seeing throw himself off that cliff is now invading my personal space. Clear off Pete, I blame you for all of this.”

  Pete says in a strangled voice.

  “If we die on this boat, I just want you to know that I love you, Jo. There is no Margaret and never has been. Not even a relative or old classmate. I swear on my life it was nothing, just a weird reaction to the passionate moment.”

  Jo growls. “Shut up with your passionate moments. You can keep them to yourself in future. Just leave me alone. I’m about to die and I don’t want yours to be the last voice I hear.”

  I hear somebody throwing up over the side of the boat and try to blank it out. If I hear the sound of retching I am liable to join them. This is a disaster.

  Soon the groans turn to moans, interspersed with heaving and retching. I actually think Jo is right. We are all going to die.

  After the worst couple of hours of my life, Captain Elviras takes us safely back to shore. We leave the boat on very shaky legs, followed by the Captains’ very worried expression. I almost feel sorry for him as he looks so upset. I can’t even raise a brave, farewell smile because my world is still spinning and I’m not sure if my legs work on their own anymore. I don’t think any of us even saw the famous divers, so it was a complete waste of time.

  Somehow, we manage to drag ourselves back to the hotel and our respective rooms. The thought of getting on another boat in just a few short hours is not a happy one, despite the man candy on board. Luke came back to my room because he couldn’t face lying on a moving bed while feeling the effects of our boat trip. Instead, we just lie on my massive bed which is the size of a small island and fall into a sickness induced slumber.

  It’s amazing what a few hours rest on solid ground will do. We are soon scrubbed up and loaded with excitement at the thought of the evening to come.

  Luke looks good enough to eat in a pair of smart black trousers and a white shirt. He has scrubbed up well and I almost wish we could stay in tonight.

  I have tried my best and am wearing the favoured blue dress and high heels. I’ve curled my hair and applied my make up as best as I can, given that my head is still a little shaky from earlier. Either that, or the sight of Luke sitting on my bed looking like Christian Grey, with those sexy smouldering lust-filled eyes completely directed at me.

  He smiles and says gruffly.

  “You had better stick close to me tonight. One look at you and there will be a stampede.”

  His words make me giggle stupidly and I shake my head.

  “Don’t be silly, nobody will give me a second look.”

  I hope against hope itself that I’m wrong, as I contemplate the image of a ship full of lust crazy sailors stampeding towards me. Now that’s an image that will keep me warm for the rest of my life.

  For the first time I can ever remember the crew is silent as we contemplate the immense beast before us. HMS Richmond is the name of the absolutely huge Naval ship currently gracing the shores of Acapulco. There is a long gangplank bridging the gap between the shore, at the foot of which are standing two sailors dressed in their sexy white uniform. We look at them in total awe and for the first time since I have known him, even Marcus is quiet. Luke takes hold of my hand and winks.

  “Relax, Becca. It’s not so special.”

  I shake my head in total disagreement. No, this is one hundred and twenty billion percent special in my eyes. This is the moment of a lifetime.

  Like Noah’s animals, we head on board, two by two. Luke and I lead the way and I swallow nervously. We reach the top of the gangplank and Luke salutes the two officers stationed at the top. He states who we are and the extremely hot sailor consults his clipboard and ticks us off with a flourish of his pen. Then he salutes as we walk on past.

  I look around me in sheer disbelief. This just can’t be happening. All around me is regulation grey paint. The whole ship looks complicated and fearsome as I gaze up at the elements of war all around us. Large solid doors guard their secrets against prying eyes and I feel so small and insignificant.

  We make our way to a large deck area which is obviously the scene of the soiree tonight. All around are white-clad sailors mingling with the locals who look every bit as intimidated as I do. Luke guides us over to a man chatting in a small group and waits until the man looks our way. I watch as he salutes him and then proceeds to introduce us to what I now know is the Captain.

  I shake his hand and worry that I should curtsey. What’s the protocol for one of these things? Unlike Captain Birdseye, this man is elegant and poised. His clipped British accent rings out in pure authoritative style as he welcomes us all onboard.

  Then we fade out of his sight as he greets much more distinguished guests than we are.

  Luke pulls me over to a group of officers and one of them smiles and winks at him.

  “You made it then.”

  Luke grins.

  “As promised.”

  He turns to us and smiles.

  “Meet Tom. He’s promised to arrange you a guided tour of the ship if you want.”

  I almost shake with excitement. Wow, this is like a dream come true.

  We are organised into groups of four. Luke, me, Jo and Rachel.

  Jenny, Flynn, Pete, and Barry are in a group of their own and Marcus, Elvis, Caitlyn, and Michelle make up another. The rest of our crew are divided into groups and I swallow hard as what can only be described as a Tom Cruise lookalike smiles around at us.

  “I’m Mark and I’ll be your guide this evening. Have any of you ever been on a Naval ship before?”

  Rachel grins. “I went on the Cutty Sark once on a school trip. I’m betting things have changed since then.”

  Mark looks at her and his eyes twinkle. “Just a little. Anyone else?”

  Luke just grins and Mark laughs.

  “I’m sure Luke can answer any questions you have as well. He may travel under the sea instead of on top but the principles are the same.”

  As he sets off, we follow him, exchanging looks of pure excitement as we go.

  As we follow Mark and Luke around the ship I shudder inside. All of this grey is seriously creeping me out. It’s so boring. Why didn’t they consult the Farrow and Ball catalogue? It would be much more stylish than gunmetal grey on every surface. Maybe I should suggest it to the Captain over a canape and glass of fizz later. I may even offer my Interior design skills and help design a new fleet of ships ‘a, la, Laura Ashley.’ They would all thank me for enriching their lives.

  Mark explains the different uses of the rooms, or should I say cabins, that we come across. He even shows us the Captain’s quarters and I’m sorry but green flowers went out in the seventies. I’ve heard of budget cuts but surely they could run to a few new curtains here and there.

  The most exciting part was when we got to sit in the chairs on the bridge. We posed for many a photograph while pretending to save the world.

  Moving from the top we venture lower down. I look at the huge steel doors with an almost panic attack. Luke whispers, “These doors have to be heavy and thick. Each sailor has a section to man and if there is any danger, they have to secure the door to save the ship.”

/>   I look at him in surprise.

  “What, if pirates came on board?”

  Luke laughs.

  “No, the biggest fear is fire or water. These doors are designed to keep both out. Even if it means trapping your fellow sailors behind them, your first priority is to protect the majority.”

  I shiver at the thought of what they may have to do.

  As we descend even further, the temperature increases. It gets extremely hot and I wonder if health and safety know about this. Mark notices our flushed faces and smiles.

  “We’re getting nearer the engines down here. This is what powers the ship and the conditions are extreme. It doesn’t help when you’re in a hot country either.”

  I hang onto Luke as we progress. I don’t miss the curious stares from the sailors that work here. Most are dressed differently to the officers on the top deck and I whisper to Luke.

  “What’s the differences in the uniforms?”

  He whispers. “These are the Ratings. They work under the officers and all have a specific job to do.”

  As we meander through the ship, I am in awe of the scale of the operation. Mark shows us where they all work and some of the cabins that they sleep in. There is hardly any room for them to sleep and the conditions are cramped. Even the officer’s cabins are small and I think of my huge room back at the hotel. Why would anyone enjoy living here?

  I notice that Rachel chatters to Mark constantly. She asks him lots of questions and he appears very pleased to answer. Jo, however, is uncharacteristically quiet beside me. I nudge her and whisper,

  “Are you ok, Jo?”

  She nods. “I’m fine. I think that boat trip earlier affected me more than most. I can’t seem to get myself back to normal.”

  I link arms with her and smile.

  “Lean on me if you like.”

  Looking around, I whisper, “What do you think of this? It’s amazing isn’t it?”

  She smiles. “I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. Hats off to them, I couldn’t exist without a nice bath followed by Emmerdale every evening. This would send me crazy being cooped up in here.”