by G. R. Lyons
“Yeah, sorry,” he said. “I'll be there.”
“Rock on. Later!”
“Later.” Zac jabbed a finger at the phone to end the call and tossed the phone aside.
He slumped down on the end of his bed, his leg bouncing while he scrubbed his hands over his face. Gods, he was still pissed about the stupid parties, but there was nothing he could do about it now. The damage was done. Now he'd just have to find a way to get through the audition show and then go apologize to Adrian, assuming he had a chance to get the man alone.
Granted, their track record for that at Underground wasn't brilliant, but he was going to try.
And, with any luck, Inferno's audition would go well, bolstering his mood before having to face Adrian to apologize. He doubted Adrian would offer him forgiveness, but he was going to beg for it anyway. And if he failed, at least he'd still have one dream to look forward to.
Inferno were going to win that audition. He just knew they would. They were good, and they were going to blow everyone away. They'd get signed, and before they knew it, they'd be touring the Isle and making records and hearing their music on radio stations everywhere they turned.
It was the only dream he had left.
But he wouldn't have Adrian to share it with.
* * *
ADRIAN BUTTONED his sleeves and straightened his sweater vest, standing before the full-length mirror. He still couldn't quite believe he was getting ready for his first day at his new job, but there he was, minutes away from walking out the door.
He'd already taken his morning pill, and he tucked an extra into his pocket, just in case, but he was determined only to use it if he absolutely had to. So far, despite a whirlwind week in which he'd done so much and so many things had changed, he'd manged with just one pill a day and memories of Zac telling him to breathe. The latter, more than anything, was getting him through the more difficult anxiety spikes.
And he hadn't once gone looking for his razor. Granted, he didn't even have the thing anymore, and though he still thought about it and felt an old, lingering craving for the bite and sting of it, all it took now were memories of Zac and his own near-death experience to drive the need of it right out of his mind.
He would never touch a razor again, no matter how badly he might want it.
Taking a deep breath, Adrian let his arms drop to his sides as he straightened in front of the mirror. A smile slowly crept over his face. For the first time in his life, he found himself standing up straight without having to force it, without having to talk himself through the shift in posture by reminding himself his father expected it of him. Now, it just happened.
Adrian breathed a laugh and turned away.
He pocketed his wallet, phone, and room key, and headed out the door. He still hadn't gotten around to finding an apartment, but it was definitely next on his list. He was pretty sure he'd gotten everything else done that needed doing to get himself established on his own, especially now that he was starting a job, and he couldn't live in the hotel forever. Once he got through this first day at work, then had the weekend to recover—after facing Zac tonight to thank him, of course—he was allowing himself two weeks, and no more, to find an apartment, no matter where it might be. Otherwise, he'd find excuses and put it off for too long.
He was not going to prove his father right, that he'd never amount to anything without the man's guidance. He'd done well so far. If he stayed focused, and kept Zac's calming voice in his head, he was sure he'd be just fine.
Concentrating on his breaths as he walked, Adrian reached the office and checked in for the day, several minutes early. The human resources manager showed him back to the small office assigned to him, one of the few spaces set aside for the many junior associates hired straight out of college. Adrian shut the door and settled in at the desk with a smile on his face. Not only had his new employer never even heard of Adrian's father—thank gods—he was also willing to work with Adrian's social anxiety, giving him a quiet space to work so that Adrian could exercise his skills efficiently rather than having to constantly battle against his own head just to make it through the day. Now he just had to prove he was worth the investment.
And speaking of investments, Adrian still wasn't keen on working in that particular industry, especially after having been groomed for it his entire life, but it was the field for which he'd written his thesis and gotten his degree, after all. And that thesis had gotten him this job. Considering Adrian never thought he'd get to work anywhere but Frost Investments, he counted his blessings. He was lucky just to have a job, and it would be good experience. Maybe, someday, he'd find something else he'd rather be doing, but for now, he was going to do everything he could to live up to the first impression his thesis seemed to have made.
He went through his tasks swiftly and methodically, double-checking all his work before he submitted it for review. When he ran out of things to do, he sat there idly for a few seconds, itching for something to keep him occupied, before he sent a message to his supervisor, asking if there was anything more he could do for the day.
The response came five minutes later in the form of a knock on the door.
Adrian jumped to his feet and clasped his hands behind his back. “Yes, sir?”
“Sit, sit, sit,” his supervisor said, flicking a hand at him while his other hand held a tablet. The man scanned whatever was on his screen, then looked at Adrian. “You got all this done? On your first day?”
Adrian nodded, clenching his hands in his lap.
His supervisor looked over his screen again. “This is good work.” He looked up at Adrian, slightly astonished. “I'll send some more your way.
Adrian nodded again. “Thank you, sir.”
The man nodded back and left the room.
Within minutes, Adrian's inbox was full again, a whole new set of tasks to go through. He was only able to finish a couple of them before the end of the day came around, but at least he was ahead of the game and had gotten a good start. Adrian smiled to himself as he logged out for the day.
He had a job. All on his own. And he'd done well. Good gods.
If only his father could see him now.
Adrian winced at the thought. He never wanted to see his father again, if he could help it.
He went back to the hotel to shower and change, lingering under the hot water to ease away the remaining flutters he felt from having been in a new situation and around people that day. If he was going to face Zac, he would need to be calm.
Adrian got dressed and was just about to head out the door when his phone rang.
He froze, then slowly pulled the device from his pocket. It was after hours, so it couldn't be work calling, could it? Gods, had he messed up something terribly already? Or, if not work, maybe Zac? Adrian held his breath, trying to brace himself. He wasn't sure he was ready to talk to Zac over the phone, especially after he'd spent all week gearing himself up to tell him things in person—and he still had a couple hours until that had to happen—but he was frightfully certain he was going to see Zac's name on the screen.
But it wasn't Zac calling. Nor work, for that matter.
Stunned, Adrian accepted the call. “Hello?”
A sigh came over the line. “Young man, how many times must I remind you to address me as sir?”
Adrian didn't respond, too shocked by the sound of his father's voice. Besides…
Fuck that. He was never calling that man sir again.
“Obstinate as always, I see.” His father sighed again. “Well, I was going to restore service to your phone in order to make this call, but it seems you've already managed it yourself.”
Adrian blinked. Shit. No, Zac had done that. He'd completely forgotten. His phone was still working, which meant it was still on Zac's plan. He made a mental note to go out first thing tomorrow and fix that, not wanting to owe Zac more than he already did.
“And since you seem quite incapable of speech, as usual, I shall get right to the point,” his
father huffed. “I've been informed that you have graduated with honors. As such, it's high time you grew up and took your place in the company, so I shall give you this one last chance: Give up your disgusting lifestyle choice, court Miss Dawsen—properly, mind you—and be at the offices first thing Marday morning, and I shall reinstate all your privileges. Do we have an understanding?”
Adrian's jaw dropped, and he just stood there, blinking stupidly. Was the man serious?
“I'm waiting,” Mr. Frost added, his tone icy and clipped.
Adrian slowly shook his head, then a laugh bubbled up from deep inside, and he threw his head back as it exploded out of him.
“What could possibly be so funny?” his father demanded, shouting over Adrian's laughter.
“You think this is a choice?” Adrian demanded back. “You think I chose to be gay? Like hells, Father. If it was a choice, I would have chosen to be straight a long damned time ago–”
“I will not be spoken to that way, young man–”
“Considering how you've treated me because of it, do you really think I would have opted for this? Cowering around all the time, terrified you might find out the truth? Well, guess what? The truth is out, Father. I'm gay–”
“Adrian, I am warning you–”
“I'm gay,” he repeated firmly, wishing he could say it to the man's face. “I'm attracted to men. I'm in love with a man–” Adrian stumbled for a moment once he realized the words had come out of his mouth, but he couldn't let it trip him up while he had the chance to finally stand up to his father. Tucking that truth aside for later, Adrian went on: “And now I'm free of you. I've got my inheritance. I've got a job. I don't need you anymore.”
Silence followed, with Adrian just able to make out the sound of his father breathing with fury on the other end of the line.
“I am going to pretend you never dared to say any of that to me,” his father finally replied. “Now, you will report for work next week, and you will court Miss Dawsen. I suggest you do a better job of it than you have in the past. Your efforts were hardly satisfactory, yet, somehow, the girl still declares an interest–”
“Goodbye, Father.” Adrian ended the call and started to toss his phone aside, then snatched it back and blocked his father's number before the man could call him again.
Another weight lifted from his shoulders, and he looked down at the phone with a smile on his face.
Holy shit. He really was free.
Adrian left his phone and walked out the door, determined to get to Zac's show on time. He had so much for which to thank the man.
Gods, just the fact that Adrian had been strong enough to stand up to his father just now—not to mention even having the opportunity to do so—was more than he could ever imagine repaying Zac. If it hadn't been for Zac, Adrian would be roped into working for his father, and probably well on his way toward marriage with Miss Dawsen.
That stopped him in his tracks. If it hadn't been for Zac, Adrian would still be living a lie, hiding and pretending so as not to incur his father's wrath. He'd be playing along by courting Miss Dawsen, pretending so hard to be straight and interested, just for the sake of not outing himself.
And wasn't that exactly what Zac had been doing? Going to those damned parties and sleeping with women, all so that he wouldn't lose any part of the foundation upon which he'd built his life? Sure, it still felt like betrayal that Zac had denied Adrian after Adrian had given up everything for the sake of not denying him, but besides the fact that Adrian had driven him away that night, Zac had only done it for the same reason Adrian had gone along with his father's command to date Miss Dawsen.
Those few dates had left him feeling sick afterwards. Gods, he couldn't imagine how disgusted Zac must have felt with himself, having to endure what he had. Actually having sex with women rather than just enduring the farce of dating them? The very thought made him ill. Poor Zac, having to go through all that. All so that he wouldn't lose his friends the way Adrian had lost his father.
Adrian shook his head and kept walking. Zac, I'm so sorry.
He owed the man thanks, but now he also owed him a huge apology.
Chapter 27
“COME ON, come on, come on.”
Zac paced the backstage area, chewing on his fingernails and looking from the stage to the clock and back.
He, Kade, and Smitty were all tuned up and ready to go for their audition slot at the concert. The place was packed, the crowd deafening every time a band finished and took their bows. Zac shivered, anticipating that reaction for Inferno. He was itching to be out on that stage, to finally have a shot at their dream coming true.
Except they should have been on at least forty minutes ago. Some equipment failure arose just at the end of the last act, which meant the whole competition was now running late.
Which meant Zac would be late to his show at Underground.
“Fuck, come on,” he whispered to himself as he continued pacing.
“Blaze, dude, chill out,” Smitty teased him. “We're gonna be great.”
“We're gonna nail this thing,” Kade added.
Zac opened his mouth to respond, then decided against it. He kept pacing, watching the minutes tick by on the clock just above the list of performers posted backstage.
Kade and Smitty wouldn't understand. He didn't care about the competition. Not anymore. He just cared about getting to Underground on time, and doing everything he could to win Adrian back.
It was another few rapid paces before Zac's thoughts finally caught up with him, and he froze.
He didn't care about the competition?
Zac stared blankly at the stage, only vaguely aware of the production crew changing out equipment and running tests that would get Inferno up there in front of thousands of screaming fans, not to mention the talent scouts. This was what they'd been working toward for years. What they'd always wanted.
And, suddenly, Zac didn't care. It didn't matter.
He spun on his heel, snatched up his guitar, and shoved it into its case.
“Dude, what the fuck?” Kade asked.
“I have to go.”
“What, now?” Smitty yelled. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
Zac waved them off, threw the latches on the case, and ran for the exit.
“Blaze!” his bandmates both yelled, but Zac ignored them. He had to leave. He had to get to Underground on time.
Zac threw his guitar case into the backseat of his car, slammed the door, dove into the driver's seat, and tore out of the parking lot before he even had his restraint on. He gave the clock on the navigation panel a quick glance.
He just might make it.
Zac glanced at the rearview mirror just before he slammed down on the accelerator and passed another car. His reflection showed the wrong look for an Underground show, but there was no time to change. He'd just have to go out onstage in his Inferno look.
It felt wrong, like tainting one part of his life with another, but it was better than being late.
He would not disappoint Adrian again.
Assuming Adrian even showed. But Adrian never missed a Treble performance, so that wouldn't change now, right?
Gods, he hoped Adrian would be there.
Zac raced across town, fighting weekend evening traffic and red lights and pedestrians, and finally made it to the parking lot near the back entrance for the clifftop structure that housed Underground, and where Adrian had once lived. Panting, he picked a parking spot, snatched up his violin case, and raced out of the car.
Halfway to the building, he realized he hadn't locked his car, and almost stopped. Fuck it. Nothing else mattered. He had to get on that stage.
He dove through the back entrance, shoved past Underground employees, muttering apologies all the way, and raced into the dressing room where Vic and Ryley were anxiously awaiting him.
“Where have you been?” Vic asked.
At the same moment, Ryley laughed and gasped, “The hells are you wearin
g?”
Zac glanced up at the clock while he opened his violin case, not bothering to answer. They should have been onstage five minutes ago.
Without a word, Zac grabbed his instrument and raced out of the room, Vic and Ryley right on his heels. He came to a stop at the front of the stage, his eyes going straight to the table in the back corner.
Adrian was there.
Oh thank gods.
The lounge manager announced them, and they took their places to the sound of welcome applause. Zac forced himself to tear his eyes away from Adrian and looked to his bandmates instead, sharing murmured cues and launching into their first piece.
The whole show breezed by. Before Zac knew it, they were winding up their last composition for the night and taking their final bows.
Zac joined Vic and Ryley at the front of the stage, bending down to shake hands. When he straightened, his eyes immediately sought out the back corner table.
It was empty.
Shit. Zac frantically scanned the room, and spotted Adrian's stooped posture as the big guy headed for the elevator that would let him out of the lounge.
Zac darted toward a microphone. “Ade!”
The whole room slowly fell silent as everyone turned to look at him, wondering at his strange outburst, but Zac couldn't spare them any thought. He watched Adrian intently as the man came to a stop and slowly turned to look at Zac.
Zac let out a few panted breaths, keeping his eyes fixed on Adrian, then glanced around sheepishly, feeling a blush on his cheeks as he leaned toward the microphone again. “Um, yeah, hi. Sorry. So, I'd like to play one more piece for you all.” He looked at Adrian again and took a deep breath. “Adrian, baby, I wrote this for you.” He paused, then added, “I love you.”
A few gasps sounded in the audience, but Zac ignored them, tucking his violin back under his chin and immediately starting to play.
Zac had never felt so exposed in his life. He was sure his cheeks were bright red, but he couldn't stop. He had to show Adrian how much he loved him. He had to win him back.
