Not Quite Over You

by Susan Mallery

  Once they were seated he asked, “How much of that did you hear?”

  She laughed. “That only lizards and ordinary people belong here. Oh, and that you don’t belong here. Is that true?”

  “No. This is exactly where I belong.” Here, with Silver. Because she was a significant part of his life. Hell of a time to have that revelation, he thought. This was perhaps the definition of awkward.

  “Tell me about yourself,” he said by way of distraction.

  “I grew up in Ohio. I’m from a big family.” She smiled. “I’m one of six and a middle child, so I can get along with anyone.”

  “One of six? That’s a lot of kids.”

  “It is. My house was loud all the time.” She laughed. “One of the great things about having my own apartment is that it’s very, very quiet. Oh, and no one eats my leftovers.”

  “Nirvana,” he teased.

  “You have no idea. Anyway, I went to Georgetown, where I majored in Political Economics and I minored in Chinese and German.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “I have a great sense of humor, but no. I’m not kidding. I wanted to get involved internationally. I toyed with the idea of law school but honestly politics is so much more interesting. I love to travel and I’m a huge cat person. One day I will turn into a scary cat lady with sixteen cats.” She smiled impishly. “Just so you’re warned.”

  She was perfect, he thought. Smart, beautiful, funny, charming. Under other circumstances he would have been interested. But sitting with her now wasn’t anything more than time spent with a friend of his parents. No matter what she said or did, he would rather be with Silver.

  “Why did you join a lobbying firm?”

  “I had a lot of job offers out of college, but this one was the most intriguing.” She took a sip of her drink. “Not just because of the money, although that was very tempting. My parents had six kids to put through college so I had to pay for some of it myself. It’s nice to clear out those student loans. And my darling little apartment is lovely. But it’s more than that. I’ve helped change laws so charities can do good work. I’m focusing on international women’s issues, coordinating with multinational corporations so when they go into a developing country, they make decisions that are good for the people there, along with themselves.”

  She shrugged. “I’m interested in financial security and I’m altruistic. I suppose that makes me human.” She looked at him from under her lashes. “You do know this is a setup.”

  “I got the message. Why did you agree?”

  One corner of her mouth turned up. “I kept hearing about you. Your parents talk about you all the time and I thought even if only half of it were true, I would be foolish not to come to Happily Inc and check things out.” She sipped her drink. “While I’ll admit I’m intrigued, I sense little or no interest on your part.”

  “I’m with someone.”

  Her eyes widened with shock. “Your mother swore you were single.”

  “My mother doesn’t listen.”

  “Ah, so she doesn’t approve of your lady love.”

  Despite everything, he smiled. “My lady love? That seems a little old-fashioned.”

  “But accurate.”

  “Very.” He looked at her. “I’m sorry she misled you.”

  “Me, too. That makes this all uncomfortable.” She sighed. “You’d think being as smart and successful as I am, I would be able to find a guy on my own. Obviously it’s time to get started on those cats.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me, too.” She leaned back in her chair. “The same words with totally different meanings. You’re being polite while I am genuinely sorry. Oh well.” She pointed to the animal preserve. “Your mother promised me giraffes and gazelles. Is that true or also misrepresented?”

  “There are giraffes and gazelles, I promise. They’ve gone in for the night, but you will see them first thing in the morning. I swear.”

  “I’m holding you to that.”

  * * *

  DREW’S TEXT ASKING her to stop by was oddly brief. Silver debated calling him to find out what was going on but his place was only a few minutes away. She got in her truck and drove over, only to find more than just his car in the driveway. What on earth?

  She walked up to the front door and knocked. When the door opened, she found herself face-to-face with a stunningly beautiful woman.

  Silver considered herself on the high side of average when it came to looks. She wasn’t beautiful, but she could hold her own. Next to this woman, she was cat gack.

  “Hi,” the brunette said, stepping back to let Silver in. “I’m Julie. You’re either looking for Drew or his parents, right? Drew’s in the shower, but Irene is...right here.”

  Irene pulled the door open wider. “Oh good. You came. Come in, Silver.”

  She stepped into the foyer and instantly knew she’d made a mistake. This was not a safe place. She had no idea what was going on but whatever it was, it was very, very bad.

  “Julie and I are fixing dinner,” Irene said, her tone far too friendly. “Julie works with us in D.C. Oh, be a dear and check on the chicken. We don’t want it to overcook.”

  Julie looked a little confused, but agreed. “It was nice to meet you, Silver.”

  “Same here.”

  Once Julie was gone, Irene’s friendly tone hardened. “She’s here for Drew. I thought you should know. They have so much in common and as you can see, she’s beautiful. Also accomplished and someone we would welcome into the family. Unlike you. You would never be welcome. You understand that, don’t you? That if you try to trap him, you will be forcing him to choose. It’s a difficult way to start a marriage—estranged from everyone you love. Drew has always been a man who loves his family.”

  Her smile was cold and brittle. “Did I mention Julie is one of six children? She’s fluent in German and Chinese. She belongs with him and you don’t. You never have. You might be just a small town girl, Silver, but you’re not stupid. You can see what Drew could be. Are you going to be the reason he’s always unhappy? Always looking? It’s not a very nice way to show him you care, now is it?”

  The words were like body blows. They came from every direction and left her struggling to stay upright. Her head kept screaming that Drew had no part of this. No matter what, he would never play her. He might not love her, but he was a good guy. Honorable. Which meant all this was on his mother. Silver would bet just about anything Irene had been the one to send the text. So this wasn’t Drew’s fault.

  But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Silver stared at Irene, not sure what to say. Vowing that she would win in the end seemed presumptuous and tempting fate just a little too much. Because the truth was, Silver didn’t know if she could win. Not with Drew. She might have loved him her entire adult life, but she’d never been able to keep him. Wanting was not having.

  “I need to go,” she said, and backed out of the house. Once she was in her truck, she found she was shaking too hard to put the key in the ignition. It took her three tries before she was finally able to start the engine.

  When she got back to her apartment, she carefully closed and locked the front door, then sank onto the floor and pulled her knees to her chest. She closed her eyes and told herself she would be fine. That whatever happened, she was strong and capable and she would get through this. But as the tears fell and the sobs ripped through her body, she had a very bad feeling that she wasn’t strong enough by half.

  * * *

  SILVER SPENT A long night tortured by thoughts of Drew with Julie. Not only did she have a horrible sobfest hangover, she’d never heard from him. She told herself it was because he was busy with his parents, but couldn’t help picturing him having dinner with the beautiful Julie—laughing and drinking wine, as the other woman told him stories about her perfect life.

  T
his was everything that was wrong with their relationship, she thought as she drove over to check on inventory for the upcoming royal party. The lack of clear definition. She had no idea what he was thinking about them, where—if anywhere—he saw their relationship going. Was it casual sex? Was it more than that? What did he want?

  She knew the more self-actualized question was what did she want, only she didn’t have to ask that. She already knew. She wanted it all. With Drew. Forever.

  While there was a slight chance he wanted the same from her, she wouldn’t know without asking, although that meant putting herself out there. That might be the smart, mature thing to do, but she would need to be a whole lot stronger than she was this morning.

  By noon, she’d confirmed she had everything they needed for Bethany and Cade’s big party. She’d already reserved all the staff she would need. Georgiana would be in charge and she’d made it clear she expected Silver to enjoy herself at the party and be a guest rather than a manager. Silver wasn’t sure she could do that, but she was going to try.

  She’d just finished locking up the trailers when Drew drove into the parking lot. He got out of his car, his face tight with concern.

  “There you are,” he said as he walked up to her. “I’ve been calling and texting you all morning. Why didn’t you answer?”

  She didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to stare into his dark eyes and see guilt or regret or any other emotion that would send her over the edge. Honestly, she’d never felt more like her mother’s daughter than she did at that moment. She was a fool for love—she probably always had been. She was trapped, loving a man who had never truly committed to her.

  “I turned my phone off,” she told him. “I needed to focus on work. We’re good for the parties. Everything is in place. I’ll get the fresh ingredients on Friday and we’ll be ready.”

  “What’s wrong? You’re upset. What happened? Are you feeling all right?”

  “I didn’t hear from you last night,” she said, avoiding the questions.

  He groaned. “I know and I’m sorry. My father arrived in town, which wouldn’t be a problem except he and my mother moved into the house with no warning. I was with them.” He shook his head. “It’s a mess. They brought some woman who works for them. Julie. My mother led her to believe we would be perfect together. I had to explain that I was in a relationship, which my mother still refuses to believe and now Julie feels like an idiot.”

  He’d told her about Julie, she thought with relief. He hadn’t hidden it or lied or anything. He was being who he had always been.

  “I have to tell you,” he continued, “I genuinely don’t understand how someone as nice as Grandpa Frank had two horrible daughters. Some sociologist should make a case study of my family.”

  I love you. That was what she’d been about to say. That she loved him and wanted him to know. That she hoped they could be together always because everything was better with him around. She was going to tell him that they should get married and have more babies because they sure made good ones and...

  But what came out instead was, “Julie seems really nice.”

  His eyes widened. “You met her?”

  “I got a text asking me to stop by.”

  He swore under his breath. “That was my mother.”

  “I figured it out after I got there and you were nowhere to be found.”

  “I was there the whole night.” He swore. “I took a shower. I must have left my phone downstairs and she took advantage of that. I’m sorry, Silver. This has been a mess.” He moved toward her. “I promise, once the party’s over, they’ll be gone. I will make sure we don’t have to deal with them again.”

  Would he really do that? She thought about what Irene had said—that he would have to choose between her and his family. That he’d always been a family guy and what would it mean if he had to give that up. Grandpa Frank would be fine with her, but what about everyone else?

  She couldn’t do this, she thought. Couldn’t trap him. She hadn’t before and it had been the right decision. Maybe it was the right decision again.

  “Drew, you belong with them,” she said slowly, taking a step back. “With Julie or someone like her. Out in the world. This town is too small. Go be what you were meant to be. You should have stayed away after college. You shouldn’t have come back.”

  She ignored the pain in her chest, the way it hurt to breathe. She had to get it out now.

  “Leigh won’t keep you from Autumn,” she told him, fighting tears. “She’ll always be your daughter.”

  “What about us?”

  His face was blank. She had no idea what he was thinking, which was probably for the best.

  “We knew this was going to be temporary, just like it was before. I’m not the one for you.”

  “You can’t know that.”

  She managed what she hoped was a decent smile. “You’ve never fought for me, Drew. Yours are not exactly the actions of a man desperately in love. I appreciate the help with the business. I’ll figure out a way to buy you out.”

  “Just like that?” he asked. “You’re done?”

  “I’m done.”

  “You can’t mean that.”

  “I let you go before. This time isn’t any different.”

  Finally the truth, she thought as the pain ripped through her. It had hurt then and it hurt now. She’d been in love with him then and she was in love with him now. But what mattered most was she’d been right to let go before and she was still right. Trapping Drew would destroy both of them. By letting him go, she was giving him a chance to be happy. Slightly twisted logic, but truth nonetheless.

  “You’re wrong,” he told her. “You can’t—” He turned on his heel. “Fine. If this is what you want, I’m out of here.”

  He got in his car and drove away. Silver double-checked that the trailers were locked, then went to her own place. Once she was inside, she sat on the sofa and told herself to just breathe. For the next few days, that was all she had to do. She would figure out how to fill the hole in her heart later.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  DREW COULDN’T SETTLE on an emotion. Rage, sure. Hurt, blinding hurt, yes. But as to the rest of it, he was clueless. Feeling swirled through him, building and retreating, kicking him in the gut before moving on.

  He got to his house only to realize he didn’t want to go inside. He was afraid of what he would say if he saw his mother. Not knowing what else to do, he retreated to his garage, where he stood at the small workbench on one side and tried to figure out what the hell had gone so wrong.

  He’d assumed that if anything broke them up it would be Autumn. But when it came to their daughter, they’d pulled together, working through their issues. But this...

  He laughed without humor. This? He didn’t even know what this was.

  “Son, you all right?” His dad walked in from the house. “You’ve been out here awhile.”

  Drew looked at his father. “I can’t do this, Dad. I know what the plan is, but I won’t be a part of it. You’re screwing with my life.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Silver and Autumn.”

  His father frowned. “Silver? That girl you knew in high school?”

  “Yes, we’re back together. It’s serious.” Or it had been.

  “I didn’t know. I thought—” He shook his head. “Wait. Who’s Autumn?”

  Drew couldn’t believe it. “Mom didn’t tell you?”

  “Tell me what? Drew, what’s going on? Start at the beginning, please.”

  Had his mother really not said anything about Autumn? Even as he thought the question, Drew realized he already had the answer. Of course, she’d kept the information to herself. It was inconvenient.

  “Silver got pregnant over that summer,” he began. “We agreed she would gi
ve up the baby for adoption. What I recently found out was that Silver stayed in touch with the woman who adopted our child.

  “She was here, Dad,” he said, unable not to smile when he talked about her. “She’s great. Smart and funny and still a kid but on the verge of growing up. I got to know her and I can’t wait to see her again.”

  His father looked stunned. “I don’t understand. You told your mother about this?”

  “Every word. I told her when Autumn was in town. It didn’t go well.”

  His father leaned heavily against the workbench. “I can’t believe it. We have a granddaughter?”

  Drew got out his phone and showed his father several pictures.

  “She’s beautiful,” his dad breathed. “I want to meet her. Please tell me I can.”

  “I’m sure Leigh would be open to it. Autumn would be thrilled. She’s very into having a lot of family. She met Grandpa Frank.”

  His father stared at him. “She was in the big house? And your mother didn’t meet her?”

  “She didn’t want to, Dad.” There was a lot to be said about that, but he had more pressing issues. “I gave her up without a second thought. I was all about college and my future. I signed the paperwork and that was it. Silver had to deal with being pregnant but not me. I went on with my life.”

  He walked the length of the garage, then returned to his father. “Dad, I don’t want to join your lobbying firm. That’s not me. I want to help people one-on-one. I want to enjoy my friends and I want to fall in love and settle down.”

  “With Silver?”

  “I’d hoped so. Now I’m less sure.” She’d cut him loose—for the second time. She’d been the one to insist they break up before he went off to college. She’d been right that first time, but now? He didn’t think so.

  “We were so young and I made so many mistakes. I don’t know what she’s thinking these days. She won’t tell me.”

  “Did you ask?” His father studied him. “Did you fight for her? Does she know you’re in love with her?”

  And there it was, he thought, almost not surprised. Sometimes the truth just walked out in front of a man and smiled up at him. He was in love with Silver. That was it—that was why everything else seemed out of kilter in his life. He was looking at it all without realizing he was totally and completely in love with Silver.