Monsters and Invisible Men (Lost Souls Book 1)

by Amy Barrett

  “Its gonna rain.” Ciara observed tilting her head back. “Let’s find somewhere inside to go.”

  Ivan made for the first door he saw. It was a pub called the “Green Stool”. All the windows were rimmed with green crepe paper. The door was wooden and welcoming. It seemed to say, “come in and get drunk and I will look after you.” Ivan liked the look of the place.

  Ciara folded her arms and glanced around. “Not there.”

  Ivan turned to her. Her eyes were jumping about and she moved from one foot to the other.

  “Why not? It doesn’t look so bad. Mind you, you can find danger anywhere. Believe me I have seen…”

  “I just don’t want to go to a pub today.” Ciara took a step back.

  Ivan tilted his head at her. He couldn’t understand what her problem was. There was a sheen of sweat over her forehead and she was avoiding looking him in the eye.

  A woman stumbled out of the place and laughter followed her. Ivan wanted so badly to submerge himself in the sound. It sounded like a place that was full of life.

  Ciara shrugged and traced a line on the tarmac with the toe of her shoe. “If you want to go in, I can meet you later.”

  “Okay then.” Ivan marched inside without a backwards peek. It wasn’t that he couldn’t tell that Ciara was in some kind of distress, but he needed to forget his worries. The best way to do that was to submerge himself in the liveliness of others.

  Once in, Ivan found that he was faced with the money issue again. He began rummaging in his pockets until he heard his name.

  The table where the voice had come from was in the corner under some dim overhead bulbs. It was large and circular with a booth wrapped around one side of it. The smell of cigarettes and beer lingered in a cloud over the people’s heads. The air buzzed with anticipation, as people leaned closer to the speaker.

  “Ivan? That was his name?” One of the members of the crowd inquired.

  “Yea.” The speaker scoffed. The closer that the reaper got, the more the speaker’s face became that of Hannah. She was dressed in leather crimson trousers and a white shirt. Her hair was pulled harshly from her face. Her cheeks were coloured with soft pink blusher. Ivan caught his breath when he saw her. She was like a creature of pure desire.

  Then he heard her delicate voice spin into words he barely understood. “He was fine, a babe, but totally off his rocker.”

  There was a course of snickering.

  “The way that he looked at me was like “OMG a woman.” The voice which she imitated made Ivan cringe. He didn’t think he sounded like that.

  “I’m sure he has never even touched a girl let alone shifted one.”

  The spectators melted into laughter. One snorted in an effort to calm herself down. Ivan thought they should have seen him by now. He stood only a foot or two away from them. But it was as if he saw the glass wall again. It was as if he was invisible. He watched the show of them having fun, but he didn’t think they would ever see him. It didn’t make any sense, he was real now, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that they could turn around right now and look right through him. His breath caught, and he tried hard to bring it back.

  “I mean how pathetic,” the guy beside Hannah said. He looped an arm around her shoulders. He had a square head and dark untamed hair. He was about twice the width of Ivan and belittled Hannah. She cuddled into him closer. “If I saw him now, I’m not sure if I would smack him for pining for my girl or pity him for never having his own.”

  Another guy at the table high-fived him.

  Hannah giggled. “Oh stop!” She shoved him. “We shouldn’t laugh at the less fortunate. Besides he is harmless anyway. Just needed to show him a bit of leg and he probably had fun with the memory later.”

  “At least he wants to be with himself.” The guy moved his fist up and down near his crotch. Everyone exploded into fits again.

  “Well no one else wants to. I’m telling ya. Not one girl looked at him the whole time we were there. Ciara hangs out with him, but I think she feels bad for him.”

  “Is he that ugly?” The guy snorted.

  “No, he is okay, but just too weird. You can tell just to look at him that he is a loser. Really I am doing my charity work for the year right here at home.”

  The sound of her cackles which followed this would ring in Ivan’s mind well into the night. He was shaking and Hannah’s words had carved a hollowness into his chest.

  “I thought you did that already by hanging out with friend of the spirits Ciara.” Someone added with a chuckle. Ivan hardly heard them.

  The guy beside Hannah leaned in and put his tongue in her mouth. It was a dirty kiss, no tenderness or eye contact.

  Ivan rushed from the building. He bumped into people on the way, and they gave out to him, but he did his best to shrink into himself so no one would see the pathetic look he was sure was all over his face. The cold air stung his skin when he came outside. His throat was tight, and his eyes hurt right into his skull. Water dashed his face. Ivan wiped the drops and cursed them.

  “What the hell?” He tried to source the water. He looked up to see if it rained on him. But the sky was holding in its load. He spun to the side, perhaps someone was squirting it on him from there. All he saw was his reflection in the window. Something shone in his eyes and he walked closer to the glass to see. A wall of silver white stood in his left eye. As he watched it, he remembered. Her voice seemed like a physical weapon which had cut into him. Was he pathetic and sad?

  One bead of water hauled itself out of the mass inside his eye. It bulged out on the ridge of his skin. Then it fell, crashing onto his face and dragging a wet trail from his cheek bone to his chin. Ivan extended his hand and caught the single drop. He watched it and slowly, his hand was covered in more and more of them. He had only cried once before. The memory of that small voice calling for her daddy and the man lying on his back crawled its way into his mind. He refused to focus on it. He couldn’t feel like that again.

  His feet where heavy. He shook his head to clear his tears. As they dried up, he felt a more familiar emotion. He ground his teeth. He could focus on the rage to force the rest of it down.

  ***

  Nick arrived at the wolves’ home skipping and humming. He looked at the world with a certain brightness which he hadn’t seen in a while. He might still miss Dan; he didn’t think that the void left in his life would ever be filled but for once the saviour felt like one. He had managed to turn into the gargoyle, and he hadn’t hurt anyone. It was the first sign he had ever seen that this power may not be totally evil. Maybe he wasn’t as close to being a demon as he thought he was.

  He reached the hideout. The door was broken and lay across the ground. He stepped over it and ghosted into the room. His heartbeat kicked up a few notches and his palms started to sweat. The wolves were in a circle around a stack of bodies. Each rigid corpse was placed on top of the other like a game of Jenga. Their eyes still lay open and their mouths hung like caves. He let his eyes loose focus and the pale dead mixed into each other. There was no start or end.

  The only body which was separate was a girl. She had a giant gash on her side that was bloody and pink around the edges. Some of her ribs played peek-a-boo through the ripped skin. The rest of the ribs were missing. The stack of bodies was being revered. People cried for them.

  But people were spitting on the body of the girl. Huge clumps of spittle lashed at her face and naked body. In the back of the crowd a woman screamed. Nick could barely make out the words, but he heard the term “Baby girl”.

  A crowd of the men landed kick after kick into the lifeless girl. Blood trickled out of her pale and swollen body each time they landed a blow. Every swing of their boots was accompanied by a machine gun fire of insults.

  “Filthy bitch!”

  “You sold us out to the demon!”

  “The saviour destroyed you!”

  “You couldn’t hide your dark soul from him!”

  The atmosphere of hate
and death floated into their lungs and invaded their bloodstream. It turned them into vicious animals.

  “Hey!” Nick ran into the crowd. His stomach turned every time they hit her or yelled. Placing himself between the monsters and the dead girl he spread his arms as if to embrace them all. “Stop!”

  “But you destroyed her. This shows us that she was evil all along.” It was one of the elder men who spoke. His eyes did not rest on one spot for too long.

  “No. I didn’t do this.” Nick glanced at the body, but he couldn’t bring himself to linger on it. “The creature did.”

  The elder Jackie stepped forward. Her bones creaked as she moved, and her papery face was tight with a strained smile. She watched Nick and the crowd watched her. No one’s word among the wolves meant more, except maybe Nick’s. She inhaled the murder saturated air and it howled into her nostrils.

  Upon reaching Nick, she clasped his hand in her frozen finger bones. “I know you are afraid.” She whispered to him. She let go of his hand and turned to the group. “But the creature is us all. The creature is our saviour from the demons.”

  Euphorious roars erupted from the group. Some clapped. They surged towards the girl again. Nick tried to hold them back, but his shoes slid over the ground as he was pushed out of the way. The air was thick with sweat and the sound of teeth crunching together over and over as they howled with laughter and joy. Nick stumbled to the back of the room. His knees buckled. He crashed to the cold floor. His head was spinning. He had killed her. She probably didn’t even do anything to him. He had taken her life on a whim, like Abyzou had done to Dan. He was no better than a demon. He was choking on the tight shame in his chest and the grief that sat in the pit of his stomach. He could only breathe into the top of his chest and panic climbed up his throat. His eyes wanted to water, and he swallowed heavily to keep the tears back. He needed to keep himself under control. If he let himself be swallowed by emotion he wasn’t sure if he would ever come back.

  The wolves attacked the body well into the night.

  When they had finished, the captured screaming mother was let go. Nick had not moved from his spot. He couldn’t. His legs had become useless, melting from under him, and it seemed like the floor had absorbed them. He hoped that by staying in one place and not trying too hard he could go into his mind and find somewhere to hide. All he found there was bittersweet memories he couldn’t think about for too long.

  The other bodies had been moved by now. The goodbyes had been said and some prayers for those who wanted them. Two living people lifted each one of the dead. Nick assumed that they were buried by now as their friends and families were inside and cuddled together in a heap of comfort.

  The lone mother knelt by her baby girl. Diamond clear tears cascaded down her face. Nick watched her and longed to change what he saw and wanted more than anything to take back what he had done. Her lip was cut and swollen and bounced off the other one as she cried. Her cheeks were covered in dirt. She hesitated; her fingers hovered inches from her child’s mangled face. Stroking the air over and over, she closed her eyes.

  “You are with the angels now, baby.” She coughed back a sob. “Please find peace.” She wept and it shook her like an earthquake. Outside the rain broke from the clouds and the windows cried hard tears.

  Finally, she caressed her daughters face. She gasped upon the touch. “You took everything with you. Oh god…” She crumbled. Nick could not describe what he saw. He had been to hell and still had never seen pain like this before. It took her over. It shut her eyes and sucked the life from her skin. Nick made himself watch her despite the crippling guilt that was growing each second. He could never let himself think he had the monster under control again. He needed to remind himself why he had to fight so hard to stay in control.

  Crushing her lip in her teeth, she tried to calm herself. When her eyes opened, she caught sight of Nick. He quickly found his feet and rose to leave.

  “You are not the saviour,” she said, “you are another demon spawn.”

  Nick walked away in the calmest way he could. In his mind he fled until he ran out of ground to tread on. Then he let himself fall right off the Earth.

  ***

  Zerachiel found Ivan in the Disney shop. The shop was brightly lit and full of vibrant colours. Ivan was petting and hugging a stuffed lion like it was a living cat. On his head he had a reindeer balanced. It swayed dangerously close to the edge of his hair. In his other hand he had some kind of blue alien with large ears.

  Some of the shoppers laughed. Most just casually moved their children away from the weird man. A shop assistant looked like he was preparing a lecture on being in the Disney shop without kids and playing with the toys. Ivan didn’t care, he wouldn’t listen anyway. Hugging stuffed animals had turned out to be the perfect stress relief.

  Zerachiel speedwalked to Ivan and took the reindeer from its perch. “What in the name of God are you doing?”

  Ivan reached for the reindeer, clasping and unclasping his fingers desperately. “Come on mate, relax. I am having a cuddle sesh. I need time to touch things.”

  Zerachiel stole the alien while the reaper was distracted. “Ignoring how wrong that sounds, have you forgotten that we are in the middle of a mission?”

  Ivan rolled his eyes and began clearing the fur away from the lion’s eyes with his fingers. “No mate don’t worry. But the idea of all of this,” He gestured to himself and then the general area. “Was to live.” He shrugged again without looking up. “I dunno, they just looked so cute.” He waved the stuffed lion in Zerachiel’s face. “I just needed a cuddle.” He put on a voice that involved speaking partly through his teeth. It was the kind of voice people used to talk through toys to kids. More people took their children further from him.

  “Stop being a child,” Zerachiel said. He snatched the lion and dropped it on a random shelf. Ivan frowned beneath the golden lights of the store. The shop assistant looked nervously around the shelf, then backed away when Ivan waved at him.

  “Just stop. We have a job to do.” While the angel spoke, Ivan watched the people swirl around the shop. The kids were pointing and crying, and the parents were giving Ivan miss-trusting looks. The whole place smelt of stickiness and Haribo sweets. At the checkout, a child wailed that she wanted them all. Her mother pulled and pulled at her arm. The child then punched her mother in the leg. Ivan erupted into giggles.

  “…the knife, we only have the sword and… are you listening to me?” Zerachiel followed Ivan’s eyes to the counter but the incident was over.

  “Did you see that little brat she just sucker punched her mum, mate.” Ivan pointed, and the woman blushed and shooed the child to the door.

  Zerachiel sighed. “No. Now stop pointing at her.”

  “Fine then what’s next general.” Ivan saluted the angel.

  “We need to go back to the wolves’ home and find this creature.” Zerachiel started to walk. He had to glare back at Ivan before the reaper came jogging after him. Ivan nearly fell on a section of wet floor, but he caught up.

  “Abyzou says that the only way to kill it is to get it while it is a man.” Zerachiel glanced around himself and lowered his voice. “That is its vulnerable state.”

  “Surely it’s a he, you know it’s a man underneath that repulsive skin.” Ivan stared at the sky. He started to feel dizzy walking with his head tipped back.

  “It’s not really a man.” Zerachiel touched his shoulder where Ivan knew the remains of his wing hung from.

  “Whatever you say mate, I am with you.”

  “Why do you call me that?” Zerachiel whirled on Ivan. He was watching him intently and his shoulders were high and tense.

  “What?”

  “Mate.”

  Ivan didn’t look at him. A seagull called out overhead. “I dunno. I call everyone that. I heard it once and I guess I liked the sound of it. But I suppose you are kinda my mate anyway.”

  Zerachiel exhaled heavily and folded his arms. “That’s
not what this is.”

  The words resounded in Ivan’s head. He had always feared that Zerachiel would decide to disappear. Not that he believed it would happen, but the seed of doubt was watered by his friend’s words. Zerachiel was the only constant in his life besides reaping souls. If he left then Ivan would truly be alone forever. He needed him to be his friend.

  “Come on mate,” Ivan said, “we spend all our time together. I am either your mate or your boyfriend.” Ivan smiled at Zerachiel. It was a disarming look and it made Zerachiel’s stare waver and his frame soften.

  “I am not gonna date you mate. So, I guess you are just stuck with me as a friend.” The reaper smiled widely.

  Zerachiel chewed on his lip. Ivan knew that he was battling with himself. He had always said when Ivan was being cheeky that other angels would use any means necessary to put him in his place. But Zerachiel wasn’t like the other angels. He had fallen for a human, which was forbidden, and he had been kind enough to bring Ivan with him when he went on vacation. Ivan assumed that this was sign enough that they were friends, not just employer and employee.

  Zerachiel flattened his lips into a hard line. “All reapers are followed by an angel to make sure they behave. We are not special.” He stormed ahead.

  Ivan spoke to himself. “Most reapers are alone.” He watched Zerachiel wander through the crowds of people who moved in rows like trains.

  “Most angels remain invisible to them.” Ivan continued. Zerachiel vanished into the crowd and Ivan shivered in the icy rain.

  “I think I need you to be my mate,” he whispered. It was carried on the air but dissipated in the noise of the street.

  Chapter 10

  When Zerachiel and Ivan got back to the apartment they were soaked from being out in the rain. Ivan was cold enough to have goose bumps, but he was delighted. He swept his fingers over the raised skin and shivered. The sensation was delicious in the way it took him over and made him shake. Zerachiel groaned and shook moisture out of his hair. Ciara blinked at them.

  “Do you guys wanna shower and warm up?” She gestured to the bathroom. She was curled up on the sofa in a blanket. It was spotty and had a huge hood that dwarfed her head. Her eyes were shiny, and her laptop was on the coffee table in front of her, with the screen slightly inclined forward.