Marrying Jonah

by Amy Lillard

  “Best news I’ve heard all week.” Bruce puffed out his chest, almost as proud as the father-to-be himself.

  “Absolutely.” Jonah forced a smile. He was happy for his friend, but he felt as if a little piece of him had died.

  He had waited for Lorie for so long. She had been unsure about joining the church, then when her father died, she had pulled even further away. She hadn’t told Jonah the big secret, that she had discovered Henry Kauffman had had another life outside Wells Landing. One no one knew about. She had found a car, a grandmother, and an English beau for herself. She had found herself, and in turn Jonah had lost her.

  He pushed those thoughts aside and centered his attention on Ezra. “That’s really great news.”

  Ezra shot him a sympathetic smile. “How are you?” He had already asked that, but this time his meaning was clear. How are you really?

  “I’m gut.” It was almost the truth. Lorie was gone, and he was doing everything he could to heal his broken heart. One day soon, he truly would be good. Until then, he was confessing that every chance he got.

  “Have you been over to Abbie King’s?”

  Jonah knew what he meant. Had he taken Buddy over there. “Not yet.”

  “I hear they have a really smooth operation going.”

  “With the camels?” Bruce asked.

  Ezra nodded.

  “That’s pretty amazing. Camels in Wells Landing,” Jonah said. So many changes in the last couple of years. Nothing should surprise him now. “Maybe I’ll take Buddy over there next.” He would do whatever he could to keep his brother happy, especially since their parents weren’t going to let Buddy attend any normal youth functions. Maybe one day. But until then . . .

  “Come on in the house,” Ezra said. “Sadie left a pitcher of limeade in the fridge.”

  * * *

  “I don’t know, Sarah. Do you think he’s sick?”

  Sarah gave a cursory glance in the general direction of Jonah Miller. She didn’t want her gaze to linger too long. There was already enough talk in Wells Landing about the two of them. Or rather about her and how she loved him to distraction. She had given up, and everyone was talking about the changes in her attitude toward Jonah. It wouldn’t do to go back on that now.

  She shifted on the bench where she sat next to her cousin. The evening had started off simple enough, a volleyball game just after church at the Brenneman farm. The younger kids were singing in the barn, but the recently married couples came to enjoy a little more fellowship and exercise. Almost everyone in their group had gotten married recently. Except for her. And Jonah Miller.

  But she was happy. Her classroom was under control. She had worked extra hard this summer getting better learning materials and decorating the large one-room schoolhouse. Unlike many of the other districts in Pennsylvania and Ohio, Wells Landing only boasted two schools, with the rest of the scholars attending public school with the English kids until grade eight. Sarah worried about their minds and what they were learning in such a modern place. But the elders knew best. She had to trust them and God to take care of the youth.

  Her thoughts tumbling one over the other, her quick look had turned into so much more.

  “He looks . . . he looks . . .” She couldn’t say the words. He looked terrible, gaunt. Sick, just like her cousin Libby had said. Heartbroken. He hadn’t looked that bad at the back-to-school picnic a couple of weeks ago. Or had he? She had monitored her perusal of him then as well. He could have looked just as sad then, but she hadn’t noticed because she was too busy trying not to notice anything at all.

  “You don’t think he really expected Lorie to come back, do you?” Libby asked.

  Sarah didn’t know for certain, but if his current state of decline was any indication, she would have to say yes. “I don’t know,” she murmured.

  It was early September. Nearly three months since Lorie Kauffman had married the Englisher Zach Calhoun. Three months of Jonah dealing with the fact that she was never coming back.

  “Poor Jonah.”

  “You know she’s been gone almost a year now,” Libby said.

  “I know.” Somehow Sarah managed to keep herself in place as she watched him. She wanted nothing more than to go to him, offer him comfort. Tell him all the things that had been bubbling up inside her for so long. But he had rejected her so many times, she wasn’t sure she could handle any more. And she had given up. Nothing could be between them. She had settled herself to her life’s calling: teaching. She had prayed and prayed about it, and she knew in her heart that this was what God wanted from her.

  “Maybe you should go talk to him.” Libby nudged her in the side.

  Sarah shook her head. She had come here to watch volleyball and nothing more. She hadn’t come here to make a fool of herself over Jonah Miller. Not anymore. Never again.

  “If you’re not going to talk to Jonah, then you should go see what Ben is doing.”

  “Ben Schrock?”

  Libby nodded. “I heard that he really likes you.”

  “Libby,” Sarah protested.

  Her cousin shrugged. “If you won’t go after a boy who likes you, then go get the one you want.”

  “I don’t want Jonah Miller.” And she surely didn’t want Ben Schrock. He was . . . well, not Jonah. “Besides, you know I would never ‘go after a boy.’”

  “You know what I mean. You can make yourself known to them. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  No, she didn’t suppose there was if she was Ivy Weaver. But she wasn’t. She was plain ol’ Sarah Yoder.

  “Hey, Sarah.” Sam Troyer suddenly appeared as if out of nowhere.

  Sarah jumped, then quickly recovered. “Hi, Sam.” He grinned at her, then swung around until he was sitting on the ground at her feet.

  “I think I hear Joseph calling,” Libby said, referring to her longtime boyfriend, Joseph Byler. She waved and disappeared.

  “Good.” Sam continued smiling as if he knew the best secret in the world. “I wanted to talk to you alone anyway.”

  Sarah frowned. “You did?” Sam had a terrible reputation when it came to girls. He was an incurable flirt and flitted from one girlfriend to the next. Every unattached female in the district knew better than to take him seriously.

  “Jah. I wanted to ask if I can take you home.”

  “Today?” She studied his face, looking for signs that he was joking with her. He seemed serious enough. But why had he set his sights on her tonight?

  “Of course today. When else?”

  “I just . . . I mean . . .” What had happened? Sam had never paid her two seconds of attention. Now, all of a sudden, he wanted to take her home? “I came with Libby and Joseph.”

  He waved away her words. “It’s okay. I’ve already talked to Joseph.”

  He had? “I wish you hadn’t done that.”

  “That’s me. A take-charge kind of guy. Are you ready?”

  Sarah looked around. The crowd was beginning to thin. How had it gotten so late? She tried to spot Libby and Joseph in the few milling people left, but she didn’t see them anywhere. Knowing Joseph, he had taken Sam at his word. Joseph was nice enough, but not as smart as some. He’d probably never given a second thought to the fact that Sarah might not want to ride home with Sam.

  Only a few of the unpromised guys were left, Jonah Miller being among them. But she could never be as forward as to go right up to him and ask to ride home with him.

  Besides, she had quit Jonah Miller.

  No, she was better off taking her chances with Sam Troyer.

  Chapter Two

  Unbelievable!

  Sarah stomped down the side of the road, thankful that at least it was summertime. Walking home in the middle of the night was bad enough; at least she didn’t have to add cold weather to it. She supposed that was a blessing in itself. And one of the few she could count these days.

  She hadn’t done anything to deserve this. Nothing but try to move on. For all the good it did her. S
he might as well accept it right now. She was doomed. Doomed to live a loveless life. Doomed to be an old maid. Maybe she should just go ahead and move in the dawdihaus now and get it over with.

  Whatever she did, it was time to forget about love.

  She heard the clip-clop of horse hooves on the roadway and the whir of the carriage wheels as the buggy grew closer. Most likely another Amish youth on the way home. A young couple, perhaps newly baptized, just starting to date. They would be snuggled up in the buggy side by side talking about this and that and who won the last volleyball game. Really important stuff. Too important to do anything but pass her by.

  She moved over, a little closer to the edge, but still on the road. Oklahoma roads were notorious for having deep ditches on either side, and in the darkness, she couldn’t tell how much was land hidden under the shadow of night and how much was empty air.

  As the buggy grew closer, its lights lit the roadway ahead. Sarah didn’t look up. She kept her head down and her eyes on her feet. Just her luck, the buggy slowed. But she walked on.

  The driver pulled up next to her. She looked out of the corner of her eye and could only see one figure inside. A male. That meant it was an even younger Amish youth. Maybe a sixteen-year-old in his first year of rumspringa. If that was the case, he had slowed down to make fun. Perfect. Just perfect.

  “Sarah Yoder.”

  He knew her name? She looked up and gave the driver her full attention. Her feet stopped beneath her as if stuck in a deep, thick mud. The buggy continued on.

  “Jonah?”

  The buggy stopped, and somehow she managed to get her feet in motion once again. She drew even with the buggy, circling around so she could see the driver better. It was Jonah Miller.

  “Oi, Sarah Yoder. What are you doing out here all by yourself?”

  She really wasn’t in the mood for this. She propped her hands on her hips. “You’re out here by yourself.”

  He seemed to think about it a minute. “O-kay. But I have a buggy.”

  Couldn’t argue with that.

  She opened her mouth to explain. But what was she really going to say? That Sam Troyer’s offer to take her home had not been as sweet and innocent as she had first thought? Or that she had vowed to forget about Jonah so she had said yes to Sam? Or maybe she had simply chosen to ignore the rumors about Sam and take her chances. But that might lead to more questions. And she certainly didn’t want to talk about how Sam had turned into a jerk and started saying hateful things, so she’d told him to let her out of the buggy immediately. No. That wasn’t something she necessarily wanted to share.

  “I’m walking,” she said, looking off into the distance as if walking had been her plan the entire time.

  “Are you walking home?”

  She looked at the midnight-blue sky. It was after ten o’clock. The stars were out, the frogs and the night bugs were singing. Other than the occasional jackrabbit, not much stirred on the outskirts of Wells Landing, Oklahoma.

  “Yes.” Maybe direct was the best way to handle this. “I’m walking home.”

  He seemed to think about it a second. Or maybe he just hesitated. Whatever it was, he took a minute, then turned back. “Can I give you a ride?”

  No! she wanted to scream. How many times in the past four years had she wanted to hear something like that fall from Jonah Miller’s lips?

  She wasn’t sure she could count that high. But she’d spent four years, more than four years, hoping he would notice her. Hoping he would forget about Lorie Kauffman and give Sarah Yoder a try. But he’d never been able to. Now he wanted to take her home.

  She thought about it a second. Other than her vow to give up on Jonah, there were enough stories about him to rival the ones about Sam Troyer. Stories about how he’d been dressing English and going to wild parties. There had been weeks this summer when no one had seen him. She was perfectly fine with that. It made forgetting him that much easier. But everyone knew how dangerous English parties could be. Why, just a couple of years ago, Emily Ebersol had gotten into an accident coming home from one such party. She had broken her arm and everything. Of course, now Emily was happily married to Elam Riehl. But that wasn’t really the point, now was it?

  She shook her head. What Jonah Miller did and who he hung out with was no concern of hers. She’d given up on him, and she didn’t care what he did. Not anymore.

  “No, thank you.” She turned and started marching down the road once again.

  He clicked his horses into motion and caught her easily. “Why not?”

  She glared at him. “Because you are a boy, and I am done with boys.”

  “You’re just going to walk home in the dark all by yourself? Can’t be far. Like what? Maybe six or seven more miles. That shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours or so. Maybe a little longer since it’s dark. Of course, you could cut a half hour off if you cut across the field there by the bishop’s house.”

  She wasn’t going to stop walking. He could say what he wanted. But she had learned a valuable lesson tonight. Boys and men? They couldn’t be trusted. The last time she checked, Jonah Miller fit that category.

  “Of course you wouldn’t want to walk across that field this late. I heard there were some coyotes out there.”

  She stumbled, then righted herself. She would find a big stick. That was all she needed.

  “Go away, Jonah.” Wow. Those were never words she thought she’d ever say. But she had been a fool for too many years. No more.

  “Fine,” he said. He swung down from his buggy, grabbed the horse’s reins, and walked beside her. “I’ll leave. I’ll leave you completely alone. But you have to tell me how you ended up walking out here in the middle of nowhere by yourself.”

  She shook her head. “It doesn’t bear repeating.”

  “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?”

  “Because it’s my story.”

  He seemed to mull that over a minute. Not that she was watching him or anything. She was headed home, and that was all.

  “If you won’t tell me, then I’ll guess. I saw you tonight at the volleyball game.”

  Wait . . . What? He saw her at the volleyball game? She didn’t even know that he knew she was alive.

  “And I saw you talking with Sam Troyer.”

  She stopped. “Maybe I was.”

  “No maybe about it. And I know Sam. So I figure he made a pass at you in the buggy and you told him to let you out. Am I right?”

  Sarah lifted her chin. Why should she give him that satisfaction? “Go back to your English parties, Jonah. And leave being Amish to the rest of us.”

  “How do you know about the parties?”

  “Everyone knows about them. It’s all anyone can talk about these days.”

  “I see.”

  They walked in silence for a few moments. Surely he would give up and go home, leave her to her misery.

  “Let me give you a ride home, Sarah.” His tone changed, became solemn, thoughtful, and concerned. “You can’t walk all the way home from here.”

  Well, she could. But he was right. It would take her until the wee hours of the morning before she even made it to her driveway. And she was already tired.

  “For Prudy,” he said. “I can’t have her teacher endangering her life on a dark road in the middle of the night.”

  She wanted to give in. Oh, how she wanted to give in. There wasn’t anyone around to witness her weakness. She could have Jonah take her home, and no one need ever be the wiser.

  “Okay,” she finally said. She wasn’t going to think about her vow to stay away from Jonah Miller. It was just a ride home. Nothing more.

  * * *

  “It’s a beautiful night, jah?” Jonah peered out the window in front of them to the clear September sky. A million stars twinkled above them. Why he felt he needed to talk about them, well, that was another matter altogether.

  Maybe because Sarah was sitting beside him, staring straight ahead. Not at all like the Sa
rah Yoder he had known before. Anger seemed to roll off her in waves. This was definitely a different side of her, and one he had never seen before. He wanted to smooth the wrinkle out of her forehead and put that smile back on her face, the smile he had seen her wear at the back-to-school picnic.

  But everyone knew what Sam Troyer was like. He was what the English called a player. He liked girls and he liked to kiss and he had no qualms about kissing every girl who would stand still long enough he could get his lips on them.

  So why was sweet Sarah Yoder out with a tomcat like Sam?

  “Did you go to the game with Sam Troyer?”

  Sarah turned to face him. Even in the near-pitch-black interior of the buggy, he could see the fire in her eyes. “No. Of course not.” Her tone implied that he must think she was as dumb as a rock.

  “But you were willing to ride home with him?” Everyone knew what that meant. A couple riding home together was as near a declaration to exclusively date as a person could get. At least it was where Sam wasn’t included.

  “Libby sort of abandoned me there.”

  “Your cousin?”

  “Evidently blood is not thicker than water.”

  Jonah murmured something inconsequential, hoping his soothing tone was enough.

  “I don’t know who I’m the angriest with. Her for leaving me, Sam for . . . being Sam, or me for trusting either one of them.”

  “I guess it’s a good thing I came along, then.”

  She half turned in her seat, her arm brushing against him as she shifted. The small touch shouldn’t have sent little tingles racing along his skin, but it did.

  “That’s another thing,” she railed. “You are the last person I would want to bring me home.” She slapped her hand over her mouth as if she could stop the flow of her words. But it was too late, they had already escaped.

  He drew back. “Me? What’s wrong with me?”

  She shook her head, and he liked the way her kapp strings danced around her shoulders with the motion. Her forehead furrowed as if she was trying to decide if she should say more or let it drop. Finally, she spoke. “If anyone finds out that you are taking me home, everyone will think I set it up so you would come along right when I needed you. It’s always that way. I made a fool of myself over you, and I won’t do it again.”