Marrying Jonah

by Amy Lillard

  Their marriage, the baby. Everything.

  Her mother said to be patient and she would; what choice did she have really? She had forever to wait. She just hoped that it didn’t take that long before Jonah fell in love with her.

  * * *

  His tractor was parked in front of the house when the driver pulled his car into the drive. She wasn’t going to get mad, she told herself. She would allow him time to explain. And then she would forgive him, but she would protect her heart.

  She paid the man, then made her way up the steps to the front porch.

  She had made it up only two of them before the door opened and Jonah stepped out. “Sarah.” He wore a smile, but it fell as he caught sight of her expression. Could it be that she wasn’t as adept at hiding her emotions as she thought?

  “I can explain,” he said.

  She brushed past him and started into the house. “There’s no need.”

  Jonah followed behind her. “There is. And I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay, Jonah.”

  “Hi, Sarah.” Buddy rose from the table, that sweet grin on his face.

  “Hi, Buddy.”

  “Buddy, can you go upstairs? I need to talk to Sarah alone.”

  “There’s no need for that, Buddy. You stay down here and finish your snack.”

  Buddy’s attention swung from his brother to her, then back again.

  “Fine,” Jonah said. “I had an appointment today and it ran late. By the time I got back here, you were already gone.”

  “What did you expect me to do? I didn’t want to be late, and I had no idea where you had gone.” She hadn’t meant it to sound so accusing, but it did.

  She had been looking forward to going to the doctor with Jonah. It was still too early to hear the baby’s heartbeat. But she wanted to share the experience with him. She wanted, hoped, and prayed that it would bring them closer together.

  “Buddy.” Jonah’s voice was half pleading, half growl.

  “I’m going.” Buddy trudged toward the stairs.

  Sarah wanted to call him back, but she knew their argument would only confuse him.

  “If you’ll just let me explain.” Jonah reached for her hand, and Sarah was helpless to stop him. In all honesty she didn’t want to be angry with him. Anger just kept people apart, and that was the last thing she wanted when it came to Jonah.

  “You don’t have to explain. You’ve made your stance in this marriage clear and—”

  Her words ended as he tugged her toward the door.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “Somewhere,” he said, his attention centered on the door.

  It opened and his mother stepped into the house. “Jonah?”

  “We’re going out, Mamm. We might not be back for supper.”

  And that was something Sarah couldn’t argue with. One less meal surrounded by accusing faces.

  “Isn’t this a little like kidnapping,” Sarah asked as he pulled her down the stairs.

  “You’re going willingly.”

  “I am?” Despite all her anger and confusion, she bit back a smile. She had never seen Jonah like this. This take-charge man who had a purpose. Ever since they had gotten married he had let his family dictate his every move. Even before, when his father had said he needed Jonah at the farm and therefore they needed to move in with the Millers after the wedding.

  “That’s right.” Without asking, he boosted her up onto his tractor and climbed on behind her.

  His expression was so intent, his mouth a thin line of determination. He was so focused on what he was doing or where he was taking her that Sarah had to grip her anger with both hands. It wouldn’t do for her to give in so easily. She had to hold her ground or she would be swallowed up, never to be heard from again. She had made her mistakes, she had sinned and been forgiven. She wouldn’t pay for her transgressions for the rest of her life.

  He didn’t say a word as he drove along. Sarah used the sound of the engine as an excuse not to speak, but the truth was she wasn’t ready to talk. She wasn’t ready to forgive him for missing the appointment. She would, of course. Just not yet.

  Twenty minutes later, Jonah pulled the tractor down the driveway, their destination hidden by trees on either side. Power lines soared overhead and told her that they were on their way to an English destination. Most probably a house. Sarah didn’t have time to wonder about the reasons. He pulled to a stop and killed the engine, hopping down and reaching for her before she even had time to form the questions swirling around in her head.

  “Jonah,” she started, not sure of what she would say next, but unable to remain silent any longer.

  “Just give me a minute, Sarah.” He released her hand to march across the yard. A FOR RENT sign sat in the middle of the browning grass. He jerked it up and tossed it to one side.

  “Uh, I don’t think the owners are going to appreciate that very much.” Maybe the dumbest thing she had said this entire argument, but she was at a loss. Why had he dragged her out here? And what did this house have to do with him forgetting about her doctor’s appointment?

  He propped his hands on his hips and exhaled through his nose. She had never seen him so wound up. “I didn’t forget to come to the appointment. I was here, working out a deal for this house.”

  Sarah stared at him perplexed. Then everything clicked in, the house, the sign. “Did you . . . did you rent this house?” It was an English house, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t live in it.

  He shook his head. “No, I didn’t rent it.”

  Her growing excitement deflated in a hurry. “Oh.”

  “I bought it.”

  It seemed to take hours to sink in, but it could have only been seconds. “You bought it?”

  He nodded, though he looked miserable. “I wanted it to be a surprise. I was going to tell you this afternoon, on the way to the doctor, but when the owner came, he started talking about rent to own. That changed the agreement and made me late.”

  Her heart filled to bursting. He hadn’t forgotten. And not only had he been working to get her a temporary home away from his family, he had found her a permanent one.

  “Jonah.” She rushed across the short expanse of grass that separated them. In a heartbeat she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him even as tears filled her eyes. “No one has ever done anything like this for me. Never.”

  “I’m your husband,” he said. His arms came around her. “I’m supposed to do things like this.”

  It felt more than wonderful to be in his arms again. She felt warm and secure, and with the edition of the house, she was beginning to feel important to him. Almost loved.

  But the longer she stayed in his embrace . . .

  The moment turned from joyous to something else.

  Sarah’s breath hitched in her throat. She needed to move away. They might be married, but the situation she found herself in now seemed too intimate by far. Never mind that they were having a baby. That night seemed to be part of a different world. This was now, in the light of day, real.

  “Um . . .” She moved her arms from around his neck, her fingers trailing over his shoulders as if they had a mind of their own.

  “Sarah.” Her name was a whisper on his lips. And it stopped her in her place, hands on his shoulders, body still pressed so close to his.

  She looked into those amber-colored eyes and the world stopped.

  Her lashes fluttered shut as he lowered his lips to hers.

  The kiss was all she remembered and more. All she could have asked for.

  Jonah’s arms tightened, pulling her even closer. Sarah melted into him, the potential for the future wrapped up in that one kiss. His lips moved over hers and tasted of promise. Maybe they did have a chance.

  Then the kiss ended. He released her and stepped back. The expression in his eyes was unreadable.

  “Jonah?”

  He grabbed her hand and led her toward the porch. “Let me show you the house.”
/>   * * *

  Jonah wondered if she could feel the trembling of his hand as he escorted her into the house. Surely she couldn’t hear the pounding of his heart. Though it sounded on his ears, blocking out most other noises around them.

  Why had he kissed her?

  Why hadn’t he kissed her before now?

  He dropped her hand, and she moved farther into the living room. There was a big bay window overlooking the front yard, and a separate dining area and a large, recently remodeled kitchen.

  “This is really ours?”

  He nodded, words not able to get past the lump in his throat.

  “I don’t know what to say. When can we move in?”

  He found his voice and chuckled. “We have to disconnect the electricity and pack our things.”

  “By the end of the week?”

  He knew that life in the Miller household hadn’t been easy for her, but he hadn’t understood how hard it had been for her until now.

  “We won’t have much furniture for a while,” he warned. He could take a bed or two from his parents’ house and there was an extra couch on the screened-in back porch.

  She spun around, the joy in her eyes sending his heart soaring. “That doesn’t matter.”

  “And soon we can get baby furniture.”

  At the mention of a nursery she rushed down the hallway looking into each room before hurrying to the next one. At the end of the hall, she turned around and headed back toward him. He chocked himself for another embrace, but sadly she stopped short of actually hugging him.

  “I love it,” she said. “It’s beautiful.”

  Her eyes were shining like the blue jewels the Littles kept in their jewelry store window in town. And he had put that sparkle there. Pride had him nearly busting his shirt buttons. Now he understood why the elders always preached against the dangers pride could bring.

  “Can we start packing tomorrow?” she asked.

  “Whatever you want,” he replied.

  * * *

  “You did what?” Gertie couldn’t believe her ears.

  “I bought a house today.” Her son said the words, but once again she felt as if something was amiss with her hearing. “Sarah and I are going to start packing our things tomorrow.”

  Gertie laid down her fork, her appetite fleeing with his words. “You don’t have to move out. We love having you here.”

  Jonah cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. “We’re starting a family. And we’ll need more room soon.”

  She had put him up to this. Baby or not, Gertie wished there was another way. Jonah deserved a better wife than Sarah Yoder. She was fancy Amish and didn’t know the basics of running a regular house. Now she had talked him into buying her a house and moving out.

  First Hannah, then Aaron. Now Jonah. She was losing her children one by one. Oh, she understood that was the point in life. A woman married and had children, then sent them out into the world. But no one had told her how hard that would be. At least she still had Jonathan, Buddy, and Prudy. All but Buddy would up and leave her one day. After that, she would only have Buddy and a big empty house.

  “You can’t pack tomorrow. We’ll need to clean the house gut first. From top to bottom.” She sat back with a self-satisfied sigh. She might not be able to keep her children from growing up, but she could definitely take care of them even after. “I know. We’ll have a sisters’ day. And everyone can come help. I’ll arrange it for Saturday. After that, you can move in.”

  “That would be gut, Mamm.” Jonah nodded and Gertie noticed that he didn’t look toward Sarah. She might protest, but her Jonah knew a good thing when it came to him.

  Chapter Eleven

  “You don’t want to use regular ol’ cleaner on that. You need bleach. I’ll get it for you.”

  Sarah pasted on a grateful smile as her mother-in-law moved toward the box of cleaners they had stashed by the door. Sarah had lost count of how many nuggets of advice Gertie had imparted to her today. Thankfully the house was equipped with hardwood floors, with tile in the kitchen and bathrooms. If carpet had been in the rooms, they would have had to pull it up, but it was fine for them as it was.

  Jonah had called an electrician out the day before to unhook the house from the English electricity. They had taken the fancy curtains down first thing and replaced them with plain sheers for a measure of privacy. Then the cleaning began.

  “Here you go.” Gertie handed her the gallon bottle of bleach. “Don’t forget to mix it with water. Three parts water, one part bleach.”

  “Danki.”

  Sarah moved to the bathroom with the bleach. Anything was preferable to being in the same room with Jonah’s mother.

  She didn’t know what she’d done, aside from accidentally getting pregnant and having Jonah marry her. After the trouble with Lorie, Sarah would have thought Gertie Miller would be glad to see her son married. But unlike her mother, Gertie must not have believed that love would come to them. But Sarah had hope. These days that was about all she had.

  Along with Jonah and this house.

  Next week they would move in, and the week after that was Thanksgiving. Soon everything would be great. She just had to be patient.

  “It’s a shame really.”

  Sarah turned off the water, the newly familiar voice ringing through the air vents. It was Ellie, Gertie’s sister. Sarah had never met her before, as she lived in Clarita. But she gave Sarah the same disapproving looks as Jonah’s mother did.

  “I’m trying hard to be grateful for God’s plan, but I wanted better for him.”

  “We all wanted better for him.”

  “But with a baby on the way . . .” She could almost see Gertie shrug.

  “I didn’t know Jonah had started dating anyone else.”

  “That’s just the thing. He wasn’t.”

  “Then how—”

  “I don’t know. And I didn’t ask.”

  “Maybe this truly is God’s plan for them.”

  Gertie scoffed. “I suppose it is now, but I know that she somehow tricked Jonah into . . . well, she tricked him and now they’re married.”

  It was one thing to know that his mother felt that way. It was quite another hearing her talk about it with someone else, actually saying the words out loud.

  Maybe she should have taken her mother and Annie up on the offer to help today, but she had felt it best to keep the families apart right now. It seemed to be the best decision. Now she could have used the support.

  The words cut like a knife through her heart. No one but her and Jonah knew what had happened that night. Everyone had just come up with their own explanation. She was never allowed an opportunity to give her side. Even then no one would have believed her, but she wished she had at least had the chance. Maybe then, Gertie Miller wouldn’t resent her marriage to Jonah so much.

  But she wasn’t going to let Gertie get to her. She and Jonah might not be in love, but they were trying to make this marriage work. They might be sleeping in separate rooms or separate beds, but eventually . . .

  Well, she could hope.

  She stopped scrubbing the toilet to rest her back. She and Jonah hadn’t talked about where they were going to sleep. Sarah could get her bed from her parents’ house, but it was a full bed. Jonah had two twins. Plenty enough room for them to not have to share, beds or rooms. But they hadn’t talked about it.

  Just one more thing to work out between them. But she was confident they could work it out, once they got away from Gertie Miller.

  * * *

  It took two days to get completely settled into the house. Sarah was grateful for her mother’s help setting up the kitchen. Anything that Sarah hadn’t already collected for her future, Mamm put on a list and picked it all up in town. But best of all, her father furnished the house with all-new propane-compatible appliances. Now she could truly become the wife she had been taught to be.

  Those first two days they had eaten casseroles and snacks that family members had
brought over to help out. But today was day three. Jonah had gone over to the farm to help his father with winter wheat planting, and Sarah was putting the finishing touches on making their home, including having supper waiting for him when he walked through the door. She had put a roast on to cook a couple of hours before, turning it down low so it would be good and tender.

  She had a Mason jar on the table, one of those purple ones that Libby was so opposed to, and had filled it with the three remaining sunflowers from the garden out back. The table had been a wedding present from Jonah’s parents, and Sarah couldn’t help but believe that Eli was responsible. It was a beautiful dark wood, shined and polished by Abe Fitch himself.

  Jonah had set up her full bed in the master room and moved his own twin beds into the room across the hall. Sarah wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed. They needed time to get their relationship square, but there were times when she felt like things would never change between them. All she could do was hope and pray and have faith that God knew what he was doing bringing them together. Regardless of what her mother-in-law thought, she knew there was a reason she and Jonah were married. One day they would discover that reason, but until then . . .

  She propped her hands on her hips and surveyed her new house. They had a secondhand couch from Jonah’s parents, two end tables from her room, and a lamp they had picked up in town. Sarah could just see it next to a big wooden rocker where she would rock the baby to sleep every night. She had seen some inspirational sayings and Bible verses at the gift shop in town that were supposed to go on the wall by way of decoration. But those things would have to wait, as would the nursery. The most important thing right now was to make the house a home that she and Jonah could grow in, and hopefully soon, they could have more than a necessary marriage.

  * * *

  Jonah pulled his tractor to a stop in the driveway of the new house and wiped a hand across his forehead. It might be November, but the sun had been hot today. Indian summer seemed to want to hang on as long as possible, but he knew soon the weather would turn cold and the fields would go dormant until spring.