Lacey's Journey part 2
Page 1
Lacey's Journey part 2
Harry Davis
copyright 2012 by Harry Davis
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Welcome to part 2 of Lacey's Journey. In part 1, Lacey finds out she is pregnant and that further builds the rift between her and her parents, who have asked her to move out after graduation. The road seems uncertain, but definitely unclear for her now. The perfect little daughter has now become a nightmare for parents who expected different. Lacey will try to prove to them, she can make it make to where she was headed before she met Chris and got pregnant. She will try to prove the baby was not a mistake and after all, it was her life to start with anyway. We shall see.
Strange
It's Strange when they say they love you
but act like they don't
You expect them to keep loving you,
But now they wont
They brought you into this world
then threw you out on your own
Now If you dial their number
They won't pick up the phone.
I am going to become a new mother
and maybe even a wife
and to have you there with me
would be twice as nice
but
Your silence speaks so loud
from a heart that is just to proud
to love me as I am
parents are supposed to be more than Mommy and Daddy
but also a trusted friend
Mommy and Daddy this little girl that you knew
Is still the same, even though you look at me as if I had turned blue
but remember the baby in my womb is a part of you too
My Baby's Father
She met Chris at work, instead of waiting for him at his parents. Some of the girls gave her dirty looks when she walked in, as they know Chris made her his steady. Something they all wanted. "Wow, baby you just couldn't wait, huh? What got you tripping like this? Why is your moms a, B?" "I'll tell you when we get home, get me something to eat while I wait."
She waited for about an hour, staring off into the distance, taking a nibble here and there. She was excited and afraid at the same time. She didn't know where she would live, how they could make it financially. They walked out holding hands like they've done from the first time they met.
They arrived home, and while sitting at the kitchen table Chris wanted to know what was going on. "OK Egg Head, give up the tapes, like Marvin Gaye said, what's going on?"
"OK, you're going to be a father."
"Aw fuck, who told you that? Whoever it is, she's lying. I didn't do that shit, have her take a test before she goes around accusing people."
"It's me silly, I'm the one that's pregnant."
"Aw fuck again, my parents aren't going to happy about this. How did this happen?"
"Wait a minute Chris, aren't you happy for us? And how did it happen, think fool."
"Of course I am Lacey, but we have to move fast before like, my parents kill me. You know how active my people are in the Church, hell l'm a Youth Trustee myself. So, this doesn't look good for me, or them."
"Chris, my mother told me, I have to move out since I'm pregnant. That's why I got mad and called her that. My father was tripping also, talking shit about you. I'm done with who they want be to be. I don't care what they want me to be. Only what I need to be for the baby and you.
They can't stop me from having this baby, or still loving myself and you.
"Oh, so that's why she's a "B", now? Well, my parents are going to do just about the same to me. Isn't it wonderful to have loving, caring, Christian peoples."
They both laughed, and wondered where their lives were going. They are really still kids, about to be grown ass people now. Chris said, "Wow I'm going to need a better job, shit, or another one on top of this one."
"Chris, we need to get an apartment for us and the baby."
"OK, well you'll be out of school, maybe you can get a little job, or welfare."
"I don't want no damn welfare, I wasn't raised like that."
"Oh yeah, Lacey, if we have to, we have to. Pride doesn't feed kids. I'll try and find somewhere cheap for us, and I just wont tell my parents until I have to."
The Downward Spiral
Things went real well at first for the two; Chris enjoyed playing daddy. A role that would later prove to be to much for him. He did find a part time job to go with his fast food job, and the two moved into a low rent complex. Lacey applyied for and recieved welfare and food stamps. She hated doing it, but hunger pains have a way of drowning out pride. The complex was as ghetto as could be, but home is home.
People having sex in the stairway, and in the laundry room. Kids running around everywhere, loud music all hours of the night, but home is home. Gun fire ringing out as normal as birds singing in the morning, but then there are the nice people who maintain a sense of cummunity and neighborhood. The people who work and watch out for their neighbors, the handy man who fixes your broken door for free, or for some of your dinner that night. Even Angels live in Hell, as not everyone in Hell is a Demon. She sees the young blacks going to Korean store and calling the store owner, "Mom". The poor white couple living around the corner with their kids; whites blending in just like the rest of the prisoners of the class and economic system.
Lacey also felt a new sisterhood with all the young mothers in the area. They were all dealing with similar issues. Her whole life she felt a distance from these kind of people; she had been raised to see them as bad, lazy, unwanting and undeserving of respect. She now sees their humanity, as she knows she didn't lose her's just because she ended up in the same place as them. Her God-fearing, Church going Grandmother always told her, "even if you make your bed in Hell, God is with you"; maybe God is, but not her parents. So even if we stray from the path, the Traveler is always worthy of love.
So, just like the eye opening Black Rock group, Living Color's song, "Open letter to a Land Lord", "these houses may all look rundown, but they have a value you can't see", Lacey's eyes now see this value. Value that is hidden from others, who don't want to see the good that is there. Lacey can understand why it was hidden from her, but in some aspects, it seems like this world was actually stolen from her now. What is in this world is a part of Lacey and a part of all of us really, even if some can't admit it.
Never say hi, to the bad guy
they dont come around here
because they don't care
we live around here
and from our faces they run in a scare
the black and brown faces, colors of fear
When you're poor you run but to where
It's like having a clock without time
A bottle without wine
is poverty a crime?
will you ever understand the reason behind this rhyme
to be poor in America you must dare
is poverty the sign of a system that is so unfair?
the poor make other people rich
Capitalism works on this trick
Capitalism is such a bitch
the poor add the thread to the stitch
the paint to the canvass
/> the bread to the sandwich
who should we really fear the Master
or the slave, tell me which?
Home is home
Chris had to work so many hours, and Lacey felt like a prisoner and refugee at the same time. She was cut off from her parents, and she didn't, go to church anymore. The few friends she had, were now in college and living the life she missed out on. Lacey felt so vulnerable, but with that came a sense of personal strength to be able to endure from minute to minute, and day to day. One day when she was sitting with the baby Nikki, and Chris was working a double, somebody banged on the door.
The knocks on the door sounded like thunder bolts from Hell to Lacey, "Yo, I'm here, open up." Lacey sat quite not knowing what to say, and hoping they would just go away. "Yo, come on, it's Boo-man, with the shit you said you wanted." Somebody from down the hall yelled, "Yo family, down the hall here, you knockin at the wrong door." "Oh shit, got you."
Lacey was relieved, whoever it was went away. Sometimes she feels like hell is right on the other side of the door to her apartment, and there really is nothing she could do to stop it from coming thru. She sat there relieved, but something inside of her was waiting for the next violation of her sensabilities. Chris came home, and for a second Lacey felt safe, until they started to argue.
"You come home smelling like beer and weed, damn go take a shower." Chris said nothing he just headed straight for the bathroom. "So, what went on here with you and the baby today?" "Oh, she was fussy today,p. I put her to bed early, little Ms., I don't want to do anything Mommy tells me to do. What, did you stopped on the way home to get blasted like that? Chris, I told you not to smoke the weed, so many jobs drug test now, and you might miss a good job coming up hot."
"No, I didn't stop on the way home, a kid on the job was holding a little, so I was like fuck. I need a lift so we got down on break in the bathroom. Lacey, you know that I don't smoke alot, so stop that shit." "OK, smoking at work, even better baby." "Lacey, cmon now. You my girl, or my momms, what the fuck?"
Chris came out of the shower right into the living room. He started trying to pull Lacey's pants down really aggressively. "Damn it Chris, I hate when your high, it's like you're a fucking caveman." "Cmon, I've been working all day and can't get a little something something, shit. I want some pussy, bitch." "Don't call me that, I'm your baby's mommy, and why you gotta man handle me like this? Get off of my pants."
Chris not knowing his own strength picked Lacey up and throw her on the sofa. She just yelled and screamed, "No!"
Chris added, "you're my wife ain't you?"
"No fool, we aint married yet."
"Oh shit Lacey, right, but you know what I mean."
"All I know is, you better get the fuck off of me Chris." Lacey broke free and ran into the bedroom, the baby was now awake and crying.
"Damn it, you woke the baby, Chris."
"Lacey stop playing with me either open the door, or come out." "I've been working like a dog, and what you saying I can have no pussy?"
"You better get out of my face Chris, I'll call the cops." "Wow, what the fuck. Is this the same Lacey? The monster I created after a cheeseburger. You never turned me down before, maybe I'll just have to go elsewhere tonight then."
"Well just go, and leave me the hell alone tonight." The noise had awakened some neighbors below, who kindly joined the discussion.
"The fuck you two stop making all that noise, either fuck, or let us all get some sleep already, shit." Chris left the apartment, and didn't