Undo Me

by Ali Parker

  Did it have to do with the council meeting? He’d completely changed after that, but what could they have said to him that would force the man in front of me to disappear into his head on a regular basis?

  Maybe it had to do with Abir or something totally unrelated to his family.

  Keeping Luke in the corner of my eye, I willed him to tell me. But when it came to secrets, similar to me, Luke was a vault.

  I gave up trying to use my nonexistent mind powers to force it out of him. I had to be patient. There wasn’t another option.

  * * *

  The flight back to Qatar was uneventful, yet the stress level in the cabin was overwhelming. This time, I was the one feeling restless. My brain didn’t stop rolling over the possibilities of what was to become of Luke when we returned to the palace.

  I knew I was worrying over nothing, but nothing could take my inquisitive reporter side out of me.

  We watched endless movies; I barely retained the plot of any of them as the minutes ticked by into hours.

  Luke was abnormally quiet, but neither of us spoke of the elephant in the room. Granted, I had no idea what that elephant looked like, but I wanted to stare it in the eye more than Luke probably did.

  It wasn’t until we were about an hour away from landing when Luke dropped the polite conversation and gave me a hint to what was on his mind.

  “Sophia, do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?” he asked.

  I paused the movie and turned to him. I was about to ask if he was serious, but the tightness in the corners of his eyes and his hard-pressed lips gave me the answer. “Of course. Why do you ask?”

  “No reason,” he said.

  I took his strong hands in mine and forced him to look at me. “Luke, you can’t ask a question like that and expect me just to let it go. Did I do something to make you doubt us?”

  “No. The question stemmed from a force outside of our relationship.”

  “Your mother?” I asked.

  He sighed. “I don’t want to get into it.”

  He gave me the door I needed to get into his head, and I kicked it open. “Is this a part of your ‘big decision’?”

  He nodded. “I’d prefer to decide before discussing it. If you wouldn’t mind.”

  His tone held no anger or malice. It was simply a request. One that I couldn’t refuse.

  Even if he was going to distance himself emotionally, I squeezed his hand, unwilling to let him go physically. If he wasn’t ready to discuss what was on his mind, I would show him my support in other ways.

  “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life,” I said. “That’s the honest truth. And I hope you believe me.”

  “I do,” he said with a small smile. “Thank you for saying that.”

  “Thank you for not giving up on us.”

  Resting my head on his shoulder, I may have looked calm and relieved to be with him, but my nerves were firing all over the place. Whatever this big decision was, we were both in on it together even though I wasn’t sure what the hell it was. Either way, I would be there for him and hope that we would come out on the other end without too much damage.

  9

  Luke

  Sophia’s admission was more than enough for me to prepare myself for the decision I had to make when we got back to the palace. Even though I knew the council would force my hand, having a plan in mind gave me somewhat of an advantage. Little did they know that I had to get Mother on board before anyone else. She had no say in any of the council business, but she was a force to be reckoned with. If Mother gave her approval of Sophia and me, then the council may have to concede, even just a little bit. And then, I would have the ability to change their minds.

  I bet Jaabir hoped that Mother would give a good fight, knowing her values. But what he underestimated was my negotiation abilities, along with the nautral love between a mother and son.

  I wasn’t blood-related to her, and I never would be, but she chose to bring me into her life, and she wanted to keep me there. Throughout all of this, she never threatened me with questions of our bond, only the bond between Sophia and me. If I could prove that Sophia and I loved each other no matter what, then there was a possibility that Mother would understand enough to let us live our lives. We were going to have enough trials and tribulations through life. I didn’t want to start our marriage with familial issues.

  I wasn’t going to budge in my decision, so I was willing to give everything I had to change her mind.

  My new plan involved breaking open the wound caused by my Father’s death, which still hadn’t fully healed over. One of our last conversations would be a key point in bringing Mother onto our side. If we were a united front for the council, then they might back down. It was my only plan, and it had to work.

  I would make it work.

  Per usual, the landing in Qatar was effortless, but as we drove farther into the country, my palms and armpits dampened. Mother was a tough nut to crack, but with my resistance to change when it came to Sophia, I hoped that my plan to dig up her past would be the entrance I needed to warm her up to the idea of Sophia in all of our lives.

  “Luke,” Sophia said, breaking into my thoughts.

  “Hmm?”

  Her pale eyes locked with mine. “We’re here.”

  My door was open, and the palace stood right in front of me. The driver didn’t bat an eye as I pushed out of the car and onto the pavement.

  I’d fallen so hard into my thoughts that I didn’t realize we were already home. While I should have been nervous, the hours of plotting and planning on the plane offered a strange sense of calm instead.

  I went to Sophia’s side, and she grabbed my arm as we walked up the palace steps. Unlike last time, no one met us at the front. Abir was probably off with Alda, and I knew Mother was avoiding me. She’d said her piece before we left, and she was probably waiting for me to tell her that Sophia and I broke it off in England.

  She was about to have a rude awakening.

  “I need to speak with my mother,” I said as we walked up the central staircase toward the bedchambers.

  “Okay,” Sophia said.

  “Alone,” I said.

  She pinched my arm. “I figured that.”

  “Where are you going to be?” I wanted to get back to her as soon as I possibly could.

  “I’d like to unpack,” she said. “Settle in a bit.”

  I brought Sophia to our chambers and kissed her. It wasn’t heavily passionate, but I needed the encouragement from the woman I loved. She boosted my confidence that this plan was going to work.

  * * *

  I found Mother in the library attached to Father’s study. I still couldn’t force myself to do my work in there for long periods of time. The memories were too overwhelming. Every item had significance in his life, and after a half hour, I couldn’t concentrate on anything but him.

  The library was a hiding place for our family members. The only entrance was a small door at the back of Father’s office.

  Mother glanced up at me from her chair by the window. Sunlight streamed through it, and for a moment, I thought I saw a smile cross her lips.

  “Is she with you?” she asked.

  “Sophia? My fiancée? Of course.”

  The smile faded into a frown as Mother returned to her book.

  “I want to speak with you,” I said, walking farther into the room. Unlike other times, I allowed the memory of Father to accompany me instead of pushing him away. Borrowing from his strength would only help me.

  “About?” she asked without looking at me.

  I walked over to her and sat across from her. Her feet were up on a small stool, relaxed as ever, but there was a tension in her shoulders that slowly brought them up to her ears.

  “Sophia,” I said. “I love her, and she’s not going anywhere.”

  She finally put down the book, closing it in her lap. “That’s not a wise decision. Not for you or this kingdom. As long as I’m alive, she
won’t be welcomed here. And I plan on living a long life.”

  “Don’t you want me to be happy?”

  “Of course I do. Which means I don’t want to see you suffer, either. These American women, they have grand dreams of being wealthy and living the good life.”

  “Don’t generalize,” I said. “You haven’t bothered to get to know her at all, so making assumptions won’t work on me. You and Father raised me right, and I found a woman that understands me and still wants to be with me.”

  “For now,” Mother said. “Until things get difficult. There is more to being a queen than both of you realize.”

  “You can show her, teach her. She wants to get to know you.”

  Mother scoffed. “She cares nothing of this place. This isn’t her home country. It’s ours. She needs to have the passion of someone who’s lived here and wants to continue to see our country thrive.”

  “So, if I went out there and plucked a commoner from the streets, you would give me your blessing?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “The match needs to be beneficial.”

  “There it is,” I said.

  “There what is?”

  “You want to pick out the woman. Just like grandmother did. She wasn’t too happy when Father chose you instead, was she?”

  Mother blinked and then narrowed her eyes. “This has nothing to do with her.”

  “Yes, it does,” I said. “Father told me everything before he died. He wanted me to be happy, just as he was when he chose you. And you two barely knew each other, but he wanted you to rule with him. He didn’t care about what his mother thought. I’m telling you now that you won’t have a say in this.”

  “Then why bother coming in here at all if you’re going to do whatever you please?”

  “Because I want you both to be a part of my life. We’re a family and living under the same roof. Would you prefer the awkward tension for the rest of our lives? Because I don’t want that. Can’t you see past the traditions and appreciate the fact that I found someone that I love and am happy with? Screw the rest of it. When I’m old and leave the throne, I want to live out my life with someone I chose and who loves me for me and not just because of our titles.”

  “This kingdom was built on tradition,” Mother said. Even though she wasn’t completely on my side yet, I noticed a change in her. A small one, but it was a good start.

  “You’ve already broken tradition by putting a non-blood relative on the throne. Father groomed me for the job. The kingdom hasn’t crumbled yet, so who is to say it will if I marry outside of our culture?”

  “It’s a lot of change, too soon for the council.”

  “Screw the council. This is about us. About our family. Sophia adores Abir and loves me. If you give her a chance, I know she will love you as much as I do.”

  “I was beginning to think you didn’t love me anymore,” she said quietly. Her gaze shifted to her book again. Her hand smoothed over the cover as if she were petting a cat instead of an inanimate object.

  “I will never stop loving you,” I said.

  “You said I was going to lose you if I didn’t accept Sophia into my life.”

  I had said that. “I apologize. I said that out of frustration. I will never stop loving you, no matter what. But I love Sophia too. I don’t see a future without the both of you, so we need to figure something out.”

  Mother moved the book to the small table next to her. She stood up and walked over to the window. “This isn’t easy for me, Luke. I’ve had certain expectations laid out for your future.”

  “I understand,” I said. “Which is why I don’t expect you to make a decision right away. But I’d really appreciate you considering Sophia. If you get to know her, I know you will love her too.”

  Standing up, I went to her side and kissed her cheek. “Think about it.”

  Mother nodded but didn’t look my way. There was no scowling, but I hadn’t won the battle yet. She was a hard-headed woman and would need time to process what I’d told her.

  Leaving the room, I released a full breath. Mother’s change of attitude about Sophia wouldn’t happen overnight, but I forced myself to remain positive. If we were going to push back against the council, we would have to do it as a family.

  Standing in Father’s office, I didn’t want to leave just yet. I had a feeling that Sophia would want to know about the conversation between Mother and me right away. I was already keeping so much from her that I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold off her questions for long. I needed a little time to process as well, so I sat at Father’s desk—my desk—and inspected the room.

  Seeing the world through his eyes brought back a lot of memories. This time, I didn’t push them away. I immersed myself in what he must have thought while sitting in the same spot as me. While a lot of recent painful memories surfaced, my mind traveled to all the good ones. Did Father sit here and contemplate life? Did he smile with pride after one of my accomplishments? Did he hold Abir in his arms, telling his child stories of the kingdom?

  I smiled, holding on to those imagined happy times. Then I thought of my few memories in that office. Father’s study was a private place, but on rare occasions, he invited me inside his sanctuary. I remembered flipping through the books on the shelves, reading about the history of our country. I recalled sitting in one of the more comfortable chairs by the window and listening to the rustling of paperwork on his desk as he silently pored over his work.

  Closing my eyes, I held onto the visual of what he looked like when he was healthy and much younger. Heat pricked behind my eyes, and I opened them before I shed one tear. Father wanted me in this position, and I was going to honor his legacy. I was going to remain king and have Sophia by my side.

  The council expected me to bow down to their wishes, but I wouldn’t allow them to dictate my life. No one was in charge of my life except for me.

  10

  Sophia

  Unpacking our suitcases took all of ten minutes. The trip to England was a short one, and we hadn’t taken much along with us.

  After staring at the bed for too long, I was anxious to do something while waiting for Luke. I knew he wanted me to remain nearby for when he was finished speaking with Gia, but without doing anything, my stomach was a bundle of nerves while my mind whirred with endless possibilities of how the conversation would end.

  I kept imagining that Gia would come into the room and demand I leave the palace and her son alone. Needing to distract myself, I went off to explore the palace for a little while. Besides, if Gia was going to try and find me, keeping myself moving would delay that confrontation.

  There was a flurry of activity in the main ballroom. I wasn’t aware of any event happening at the palace, so curiosity got the best of me.

  Wandering into the room, the servants huddled around a table. The clinking of silverware filled my ears as I got closer.

  Five female servants were polishing the forks and spoons in front of them. They were speaking in their native tongue, and I had no idea what they were talking about.

  For a brief moment, I felt as if I were intruding on their privacy. Before I could turn around, one of them glanced up at me.

  “M’lady,” she said in perfect English.

  The others turned to me and stared.

  “Sorry!” I said. “I was just looking around.”

  They were silent for a moment, and I wasn’t sure if I was breaking some palace rules by speaking with them. In the past, I’d only ever seen Gia talking to the servants and usually when she was giving instructions. At least, that was what I gleaned from their conversations since I didn’t speak the language.

  “Can we help you find something?” one of the servants asked. She was the tallest of them and had the longest eyelashes I’d ever seen.

  “No,” I said, feeling a little foolish for interrupting their day.

  “You come from America, yes?” another asked. She appeared to be much younger than the rest.


  Two of them said something to her in a hushed voice.

  “I don’t mind,” I said, not wanting the girl to get into trouble for being curious. It had happened to me a lot when I was younger and was part of the reason I became a reporter and buried myself in people’s lives professionally. “Yes, I’m from Texas.”

  They looked at each other blankly.

  “The southern part of the United States?” I tried to help.

  “You’re a reporter?” another asked.

  Now I had all of their attention.

  “I used to be,” I said. “How did you know that?”

  “We hear things,” the youngest said. “And we wanted to get to know our future queen.”

  So they had heard about the engagement as well. The conversation with the women was more informative than I thought it would be.

  “Don’t mind us,” the tallest one said. “We don’t meet many people outside of the palace, and America seems like an interesting place.”

  “It’s definitely different,” I said.

  “You must love the king to move all the way out here.”

  The questions came quickly, and by the time the silverware was polished, I knew all of their names and answered all of their questions. It was a nice reprieve from other times I’d spent in the palace.

  “We must go,” the leader of the small group, Eshe, said.

  “Don’t be strangers,” I said, waving to them.

  They giggled and were off and out of the room in seconds.

  “That was a dumb thing to say,” I muttered to myself.

  “There you are!” Abir said from the doorway.

  Whipping around, I noticed he was alone. How much of the conversation had he heard? Was I not supposed to speak with the servants? “Is Luke looking for me?”

  “No,” Abir said. “I was looking for you. Fancy a walk around?”

  “I’d love that,” I said. It was better than Gia catching me alone. If she found me now, then Abir could be the buffer. At least, I hoped he would. From past experiences, Abir was a pushover in most instances. While it was endearing, when it came to Gia, I needed help until she could finally get over herself and accept that I wasn’t going anywhere.